Changes

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It took a week to make me realize that I was indeed stuck in the past. I didn’t know how to take that. Well, guess I had no other choice but to relive my teen years! Since I was stuck, I took the opportunity to make more changes. I knew things that I hadn’t known back then and I put it to good use. I forced my mom to take me and my brother to the dentist and the doctor. I became aware of my eating habits and worked out regularly. I knew how to braid and put in weaves and while I was somewhat teased about wearing weaves now, it wasn’t as bad as being bullied about not having my hair done. In fact, there were a few girls at school who started asking me to do their own hair.

With that being said, I even changed the way I acted in school. Who would’ve thought that by just having a don’t care attitude would draw more people to you? By the time summer hit, I had more things to do than I could shake a stick at! When I wasn’t busy hanging out with people I never imagined would even speak to me, I concentrated on how to make even better grades… and my basketball skills.

Living in the past wasn’t so bad, now. Of course, I missed Allen terribly; I thought about finding a way to contact him. Then I realized that he was only ten at that point… and it weirded me out that if I had known him right then and there, it was a possibility that he and Ray would be play buddies; they were only four years apart! I tried not to think about that and relished in reliving the good moments as well as some new ones. I was even making some money on the side, doing hair!

Accepting the fact that I was stuck also made the time go back faster. I made the basketball team this time around and was better than I expected to be (doing a bit of homework on some plays and practicing them helped greatly). I opted not to get involved with any of the guys I had before, especially knowing that we would be moving to Nevada the next year, in 93. There wasn’t anything I could do to change that; I tried and tried to talk my mom out of not getting involved with Manny. But because I was a child, she wouldn’t listen. It was somewhat of a pain to know the things I knew and not be listened to.

Next thing I knew, we were indeed moving to Nevada, to that hole in the wall town. It actually hurt more than it did before; I left a lot more friends this time around! At least I didn’t leave a boyfriend behind; wasn’t as comforting but it felt fair. Moving to Nevada made me realize the other moments I would have there, the good ones… and the bad. With what I knew about how my relationship would end with Monica, I didn’t bother making friends with her or any of the other neighborhood kids. So to them, I was the “stuck up country bitch” that thought she was too good to be around them. That was fine: Monica would eventually prove my mother’s instincts right and the others wouldn’t be there for much longer as it was. The only disheartening thing was that I wouldn’t befriend Mr. Thomas, Monica’s dad.

Another dilemma appeared: my relationship with Nate. It was a curse and a blessing that I knew so much about things yet to happen. In the “original” past, Nate and I met during a spring break my senior year, a week before prom. He would eventually become my prom date and my first fiancé. I loved him so much that I turned down the scholarship that would take me back home to be with him… only to become absolutely heartbroken four years later. I had a chance to redo all of that, to do things totally different with him. I could possibly erase the heartbreak.

After considerate thinking, I got my wish. I altered my relationship with Nate and to me, it was the best thing I changed after breaking up with Ivan! With me so into my look, grades and basketball career… I decided to not have a relationship with him! It definitely was for the best; I couldn’t see any way to avoid the heartache that would endure.

So, yeah; senior year saw me as the most popular person in school. I was a starter for the basketball team, in the Honor Society, class president… and on track to be the salutatorian. Which was fine by me; before, I had graduated two hundred and something out of three hundred seniors! Instead of taking the ASVAB to go into the military, I took my SATs and ACT this time around, earning marks high enough to basically go to any college I wanted. I went from almost putting an ad in the paper for a prom date to having several choices lined up! I chose one of my dearest friends, Ed Sanders who sat in the back with me, Quincey and Damon in World History, acting a fool every day! That was something that I didn’t want to change; how the four of us would almost always get in trouble in that class (we still never got caught cheating on tests; it wasn’t our fault that the teacher would leave the answers on his desk and we were allowed in there during lunch)! Another thing that changed for prom: Ed was the one who took my virginity!

We were a surprisingly cute couple but we both knew that it wouldn’t last. I would be definitely going back home to attend the University of Houston, taking advantage of at least one free scholarship. There were no hard feelings about it; he was going to North Carolina, anyway but we said that we would always remain the best of friends.

I then realized what was happening. It was definite that I was going to college and not wasting thirteen years of my life in Fallon, NV. But that meant not meeting the other people that played a large part of half of my twenties: Evan and his wife, Regina; weird ass Pete, Lance and Stephanie… none of them. It was even possible that… I wouldn’t meet Allen. While I had an overwhelming feeling that my purpose of travelling back in time was to right what was wrong, I had a feeling that I may had went a bit too far with my changes!

But… I knew all about them. And there were quite a few relationships with others that I kept intact. So… things were truly up to me. I held onto my own fate. Because if things weren’t meant to be at all, I wouldn’t remember any of it. But as it stood, I thought about Allen a lot. I figured: whatever happened, all I had to do was come back to Nevada in seven years and make sure I was in the club on that faithful July 5^th night! What could possibly happen to deter that…?