A Virgin Sin

The Next Morning...

... I wake up much earlier than yesterday. Or I should say I have not slept at all. I still hear his voice over the phone, feel his goodnight kiss over my lips, his tempting breath over my neck, his chest over my breast, his hands all over my body... All things flash back to my head like a rewind movie.

I curl myself in bed trying to sleep. Everything sounds so loud even the clock ticking. I pick up my phone and read our messages over again from the beginning. It has been less than a month. How can I feel like a thousand years?

Knowing that it is still very early, I call my best friend.

"Cindy..."

"Hey Chalice!" Her voice is so wry that I can hear her smile. "How was Paul last night?"

Suddenly I feel something up my throat. I have told my best friend every single thing all my life. She is always my angel. But now I just feel I have lost my word. My head is drawn in a big blanket, letting out a silence sobbing sound.

"Chalice? Are you ok? What happen?" Her voice is so worried now. My dearest friend knows me even through the dead air.

"Cindy, can you come to pick me up? I have left my car at the supermarket near your place since last night."

"Where are you now? Didn't you meet Paul last night?"

I try to hold up the sob with all my bursting feeling. "Paul sent me home last night. My car is parked overnight there"

"Then what happen? Why are you crying? Did he hurt you?"

"Please just come and pick me up. I will tell you everything. Just don't ask now...please."

"OK. But I'm with Dan now planning for a day trip to the beach."

"Then pick me up to the beach with you guys. You can drop me off at the car park when we come back this evening"

"OK. In 1 hour"

My best friend...She knows me so well.

I take a shower and get dress. Looking at the mirror, I see the girl I left yesterday. Outside appearance is the same but it is not deceiving what is covered inside anymore. The girl has just grown up a woman over the night.

Cindy arrives with her boyfriend. I always adore how good woman Cindy is. Her good looking attracts many golden men into her life. But she chooses to stop with one ordinary guy. That's what a true relationship should look like.

"Now tell me!" She demands, not given me a time to blink my red eyes.

"Let's get going first."

I sit silently in the front seat while Cindy is driving. Dan is sitting at the back seat and seems not knowing any clue. I do not know where to begin. All things flash back in my head again.

A message is beeping. Paul sends a morning note. I think it is too early for him waking up at this time. He must have missed me! My heart is seducing me again. We text for a few minutes before it comes to silence again.

At the beach, I try to be cheerful hiding all my feelings. My acting skill is great since my high school. Oh, high school...I just knew that he was my senior at high school and university too. Is this world so small? Am I stalking him? Or maybe my soul has been following after him since the last life.

For the whole day Cindy and I have very rare time alone to talk. She keeps sending her worried eyes to overwhelm me. The innocent Dan knows nothing. I know Cindy would try her best to protect me from anything and anyone that could hurt me.

On our way back to town, I tell Cindy to drop me at home.

"What about your car? Should I drop you at the supermarket car park?"

I cannot hold my emotion any longer

"Cindy..." My voice is shaking. "Thank you very much for being with me, not just for today but for my whole life. I love you so much that every day I wake up and thank God for how lucky I am to have you as my best friend. I can't imagine that one day I can lie to you....

...Happy April's Fool!"