"Jack" Series, Part 1: Jack Arrives

2. First Meeting

By the time Monday morning came, I still knew no more about what Tiran wanted from me professionally and had resigned myself to my back-up plan of winging it. I did spend a little time with my first cup of coffee thinking over what Tiran had told me earlier – when he first made his proposal – but I still had only the vaguest of impressions. To be sure, Rocky and Gabe had been more explicit at the time, but I’ve always assumed anything either of them say in Tiran’s presence is pure bullshit so I didn’t pay much heed to it. All I really cared to know was what Tiran had in mind.

Well, I’d just have to figure this one out for myself. It’s not like I had any shortage of opinions on what all of Tiran’s entourage needed.

Since it was supposed to be my first day of work, I showed up for breakfast at the main house a little earlier than usual, around 9:30. Tiran was already in the dining room, to my mild surprise, but more surprising was the complete absence of anyone else. I took a puzzled glance around the room. Where were the hordes, the massing swell of sycophants, who started early and never missed a beat throughout the day?

Tiran saw my confusion and laughed as he waved me over. "Surprised to see me up, or alone?"

"Both." I poured myself a coffee and reached for the breakfast things. "What did you do after I left last night?"

"Nothing. Watched tv, went to bed."

"And where are the crowds? Party over? I’d ask if they all went back to work but I know they don’t have jobs." Yeah, that was a dig, but Tiran knew how I felt about them.

He looked amused. "They’re all waiting for you in the board room I think. Since nine."

That pissed me off. "What, they’re telling me I should have started work by now?"

Tiran laughed again, but I heard a little seriousness in his answer. "No, of course not. They just didn’t know what time you’d want to start and they didn’t want to be late."

I frowned a little, then glanced around the room. "Who’s on duty?"

"Tommy, but I let him go at nine to report to you." Tiran was finished eating. He pushed his plate away and leaned back with his coffee.

"So, what, he gets time off while he waits for me? No wonder he wanted to go early."

Tiran shrugged. "Well, next time I suppose they’ll have a set time for starting."

I wasn’t hungry any more. "OK, I get it. I’m going now."

"No!" He put a hand on my arm before I could get up. "You haven’t even finished eating yet. " He pushed back his chair. "It’s a beautiful day. Come sit with me outside to finish your breakfast."

He picked up a tray and put my things on it and carried them out to the deck before I could protest. I decided I might as well take advantage of the situation to try and glean a little more information.

"So you want me to pick a specific time to meet with them? Were you thinking every day or once a week or what?"

"Oh, I don’t care how you want to run things. I guess I was thinking you’d see them all together once a week or so. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of one-on-one sessions at other times."

I thought about that while I worked on my omelette. "Where did you say they are? The board room?"

"Yeah. I showed you that when I gave you the tour, right?"

"Yeah. Someone’ll have to point me in the right direction though. And that’s where you said there’s an office I can use too, right?"

"Yeah. Right beside Roy’s." Roy was the secretary, I remembered. Does all Tiran’s letters and accounts. Why one of the people Tiran was already supporting couldn’t do that for him, I didn’t understand.

"So why aren’t they waiting in there?"

"Well, there’s eight of them. It’s not that big, your office. I can give you a bigger one if you want." Tiran glanced at me questioningly.

"No, I’m sure it’s fine," I said. Actually I hadn’t even thought yet about what I’d be needing an office for.

"They’re all excited, " Tiran observed drily.

I glanced at him. "I don’t think they will be when I’m finished with them."

He cocked an eyebrow and looked out over the ocean. "You might be surprised."

I pushed my plate aside and sat thinking for a minute. "Well," I said, as I was about steeled for it. "Any last minute instructions?"

He glanced at me thoughtfully. "No. Do whatever you want."

"Any limits you wanna set? Lines you don’t want me to cross?"

He smiled at me and shook his head. "Do whatever you think you need to, Jackie. No permanent damage, that’s all. They are my friends. I want them in one piece."

"OK." I nodded and got up. "Guess I’m off to do my duty. I’ll probably see you at lunch."

"Hope so," Tiran said with a grin. "I have plans for this afternoon."

As I opened the door to go back inside he was reaching for the newspaper and another cigarette. He called after me, "Send Tommy out here whenever you’re done with him."


**********


I did need directions to the boardroom. It was in a sort of business wing of the mansion – Tiran’s own office was there, with Roy’s beside it and mine beside that, and a small ante-room outside of all of them. The meeting rooms were across the hall – a smaller more intimate room, and a large expansive room with a long narrow conference table in the middle of it.

They were all in the large board room, sitting quietly at the table. As I came in, I realized most of them were absorbed with various kinds of mobile phones and wireless devices, working on them as they waited. For some reason, the idea of that infuriated me.

At first I was just going to tell them to put the things away, but then I had a better idea. "All right." I strode into the room, speaking even before they saw me. "You can hand them over now."

As they looked up at me in surprise, I glanced at Gabe. "Get a basket or something out of my office, Solomon." He slipped out obediently and I realized he was one of the few in the room who hadn’t actually had anything in his hands.

Rocky recovered first. He was sitting closest to me, near the end of the table, and he quietly handed me his cell. I took it and put out my other hand for the rest, which were now being passed up the table to me. When Gabe came back with a letter tray from the office, I tossed everything into it and put it on a credenza by the door.

"Those are privileges, and in future, privileges will be earned. You can have them back when I decide you’ve gone long enough without infractions."

They were all looking solemn now, but no one protested. Then I realized that Gabe was still standing at my elbow, with a small black pager in his hand.

"Sir, I’m not sure if you meant this," he began tentatively. "I’m afraid I need it for Tiran. It’s how he reaches me."

"Who else uses it?"

"No one, sir. Just Tiran."

I nodded. "All right. Keep it."

Rusty spoke up quietly from the other end of the table. "Tiran reaches me on my cell phone too, sir."

That just annoyed me. "And so do plenty of other people I’m sure … you’re welcome to go get a pager for his exclusive use as well, asshole."

At least he looked abashed. "Yes sir."

I looked around the table more closely now. They were all there – Rocky, Gabe, Pat, Dell, Dusty, Blackie, Tom, and Rusty. "Who told you to sit down while you waited for me?" I asked.

Again there was a delay, and again it was Rocky who got it first. He pushed back his chair and stood up. "I’m sorry, sir." He stepped back against the wall with his hands behind his back, and the rest of them quickly followed suit.

I checked out the now empty table and realized it was collapsible. I nodded at Pat and then Blackie. "You two."

They stepped forward and waited.

"Fold the table down and push it against the wall over there." I indicated the narrow end of the room. "Dusty, Tom, you’ll put it back when I’m done."

Gabe spoke up nervously. "I’m sorry, sir, I’ll make arrangements next time … "

"Shut up." I didn’t look at him, or at Pat and Blackie as they went to work. I glanced around for the best chair, found it and pulled it over. "The rest of you, chairs out of the way."

I parked myself on my chair and waited till they were done, then nodded at the floor in front of me. "Down."

Most of them tried to kneel at first, but only Gabe was able to keep it up for any length of time. The rest of them eventually slid into a legs tucked or crossed position, but I didn’t really care. Sitting in a comfortable office chair with my charges gathered at my feet on the floor, I finally felt like we were in a position to start my work.

I glanced around with barely contained satisfaction. "This is how I expect to find you every Monday. Pat and Blackie will set the room up, and Tom and Dusty will put it back. You’ll be waiting here at 10, and anyone who might have earned their cell back will deposit it in the box by the door when they come in. Whoever’s on duty with Tiran will stay on duty until three minutes to 10. Is that clear."

I didn’t really ask it as a question but I looked around just in case. The faces in front of me were intent but accepting, or turned to the floor. My gaze fell on Tom.

"Van Mertz," I said.

He looked up at me attentively. "Yes, sir."

"You’ll add an hour to the end of your duty time today. All shifts will move back an hour." I realized something else as I spoke: "And in future, I’ll be setting the duty schedule."

There were some nods and murmured "Yes sir"s, but it wasn’t like I was waiting for their agreement.

That left just one more thing before I got started. I looked around me, wondering who to make an example of, and this time my gaze settled on Rocky. No doubt about it, he was the one I liked least. I stood up.

"Van Valkenburg." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Pat look up at me as well as Rocky. "Not Pat."

"Yes, sir," Rocky said. Something about my expression told him what to do. He stood up and faced me quietly.

"Turn around."

He did.

"Bend over."

There was no hint of hesitation; he must have been ready for anything. He bent over and after a moment, grabbed his ankles with his hands.

I surveyed the height and distance calculatingly while the rest of the room watched us in silent anticipation. I felt a little like I was shooting an elephant.* I took a couple of steps back in response to my mental calculations, and then drew back my leg before Rocky had more time to steel himself. The force I connected with made him stumble a couple of feet but he caught himself and regained his balance quickly.

There was no hum of reaction from the others, as I’d half-expected there to be, but I did catch a slight stir in the room and felt the palpable wave of relief as Rocky caught himself and straightened.

"Who told you to stand up?" I asked him curtly.

He bent over again immediately and resumed his position without speaking. My next shot landed with much more force, as I had a better idea of the mechanics, but he didn’t move at all this time – no flinching beforehand, and no staggering afterwards. I gave him two more, for a total of four – five would have been a rounder number but I was a little out of shape, and I didn’t want to look winded afterwards.

After the fourth I took a step back. Rocky waited motionless till I said, "Stand up. Turn around."

He straightened and turned to me, his face a little red and his breath a little ragged. "Thank you, sir," he said.

Amateur, I thought contemptuously. Any sub knows that you thank your dom after each strike. Wait until the end and it looks like you’re thanking him for stopping. Which, for all I knew, was what Rocky was doing.(1)

I ignored him and faced the group. "That was a small introductory sample. Tiran said you wanted an experienced disciplinarian, and that’s what I am. I use various techniques of course, but corporal punishment and physical discipline is a big part of what you can expect. A simple ass-kicking is just the beginning – I brought my tools with me and believe me, they’re all a lot more painful. I'll be deciding who needs what and when, and it won’t necessarily be when you think it is. Anyone has any problems with that, you’d better speak up fast."

I looked around the room. No one said anything but of course I knew they wouldn’t – it was Tiran they would whine to, not me.

They were watching me closely, though most of them dropped their eyes when my gaze fell on them; and I think Rocky was looking at the ground through the whole speech.

"Down, Van."

"Yes, sir." Rocky moved to the back of the group and lowered himself gingerly down to his knees. This time he stayed on them. I guess that was a more comfortable position now – relatively.

I felt well satisfied as I resumed my seat and contemplated my next step. As I began to mentally prepare for setting out a process and logistics, I suddenly remembered what Tiran had told me yesterday – that he had given his instructions directly to the boys. 

I looked around the room again, this time thoughtfully. "All right. So I’m your disciplinarian. You asked for one – supposedly," I added with open amusement. "And Tiran gave you one. So now we’re going to go through the rules on how this thing is going to work. But before we get to that. Tiran told me he passed on his own preferences through some of you. So, let’s hear it. Who wants to fill me in?"

There was a pause while they looked at each other. I half-expected Gabe to speak up but naturally it was Rocky.

"If I may, sir … "

I didn’t look at him. "I’m already sick of listening to you, Van. Isn’t it obvious? Do you want another taste of what discipline means already?"

He didn’t answer this time, just looked down, biting his lip a little. Good. I swore, I was going to break that complacent, smug, insufferable prick before I was out of there – however soon that might be.

I glanced at the others. "Who else knows what he said? Patrick? St. Vincent?"

They both looked up at me quickly. There was a moment’s pause, and then Pat spoke shyly. "Yes sir."

"Go then."

"Yes sir." There was another pause, a longer one; Pat seemed at a loss. "Well … he didn’t really tell me a lot, sir. But … but, there were a couple of things he mentioned. One thing he told me was that -- that he didn’t want things to be too formal or anything. I mean, of course you’re here to provide the discipline …" He looked at me shyly. " … to take the burden off Tiran. But Tiran just wanted to say that if – you know, if we do something that pisses him off and he wants to punish us himself – or take us to task or whatever – I mean, he’s still going to do that, he doesn’t want to feel like he always has to leave it for you. Although he might ask you to deal with it later as well. And of course you don’t need to wait for him to ask either, sir, you can – you would do whatever you wanted to about the, the incident as well."

I was staring at him in disbelief. "Oh – you’re giving me permission are you, Van?" I growled in a voice like sandpaper.

But there was something soothing about the look of fear he shot me in return. "Oh no sir. Of course not sir, I’m sorry sir."

"So he told you he can do what the fuck he wants and so can I. You got any other big news for me?"

Pat still looked petrified, but he steeled himself and went on. Good boy. "There was … something else we talked about with him." He looked around, obviously hoping someone else would take over the story.

I walked over, took a handful of hair and yanked his head up so his eyes met mine. "I asked you, Van."

He tried to nod. "Yes sir. So … so we talked to him about what happens, what we're allowed to do after you discipline us. I mean, we mess up and you punish us, but then what? Do we have a chance to talk to Tiran about it afterwards – apologize, beg his forgiveness, tell him we've learned our lesson … ?"

I waited, looking down at him.

"I mean, just because you punish us, doesn’t mean he’s not still pissed off, right? But … when we talked about it with him he said – he made it clear that he didn’t want us following him around after every incident.  He didn’t – you know, it doesn’t help him much if you do the discipline but he still has to deal with us running back to him every time we screw up, wanting him to forgive us or – or absolve us or whatever … "

Yeah, I knew how Tiry felt, that shit is annoying. I dropped Pat’s head and turned away. "So no harassing Tiran after I’m done with you."

I was moving on, but something odd I felt behind me – a pause, a breath, a collective stir – made me stop. I turned back and saw the same sudden nervousness in all of them. Rocky still had his gaze on the floor but the rest were shooting sidelong glances at each other.

"Sir … " Pat began timidly after a pause, and I cut him off as the truth dawned.

"You argued with him about it!" I said incredulously. "Jesus christ." I wheeled around and almost walked out of the room before coming back. "Do any of you even know what service means?"

They sat there, looking scared and abashed, not responding. I went back to Pat, grabbed his hair again and back-handed him across the face. "What the fuck is wrong with all of you? When your master tells you something, you DO it. Do you think you get to sign off on his orders?"

The slap didn’t seem to bother Pat, but he was listening closely to what I said. "I just… we just didn’t think we could live like that, sir ..."

"You don’t get to pick and choose which orders you live with!" I threw Pat away from me in disgust.

Never mind them, what was wrong with me? It’s like I was expecting them to act like real subs instead of the hypocritical little leeches they were. I took a breath and was back to normal.

"So, Van," I said coldly, after a moment. "You told Tiran his orders weren’t acceptable. Then what?"

"We begged, sir." Pat was getting back up to his knees. He passed a hand across his face unconsciously, probably checking for blood, but his voice was actually stronger now. "I mean, yes, sir, we argued with him, we pleaded, we – we told him we couldn’t handle it, we begged him to re-consider. And he, he did give us a compromise eventually. It was very kind of him – as always, of course." He paused after what I was starting to recognize as the standard acknowledgment, the familiar "he’s so good to us" line. I ignored it and waited for him to go on.

"So ... so, what he said in the end was that … sometimes, after you -- discipline us for something – I mean, not every time, but occasionally, you know, when it’s really important to us, we could make a sort of request for permission to talk to him about it. And he’d consider that. But he wants us to do it through you, sir. He said he only wants to hear about it once a week, so you could give him, like, maybe a list of all our requests at once. And then he’ll consider them and let you know who he’s willing to, you know, talk to. And then those people would be -- would have permission to approach him some time ... "

I rolled my eyes. Nice plan, Tiran. Way to keep the boys in line. And what the hell am I doing in the middle of that mess?

Pat seemed to be winding down, but no, he wasn’t quite done. "Of course, that means that when he doesn’t give us permission, we really have to keep our mouths shut and not harass him … "

This was more than enough for me. "You can keep your mouth shut starting now, Van. And I have news for you. Tiran can let me know who he’s willing to talk to, but I’ll decide whether you have permission or not." I paused to let that sink in for a minute. "It’s a privilege. Like all privileges, it will be earned."

I checked the crowd for signs of rebellion, but they only looked intent and alert. Pat nodded and mumbled a "Yes, sir."

And then – almost at the same time -- Rocky and Gabe both glanced up, and I saw the same look of sudden alarm on both faces. I considered ignoring them, but curiosity – or maybe I should call it a thirst for information – got the better of me.

"Solomon," I said sharply.

"Yes, sir." Gabe looked worried all right.

"What’s the look for?"

"I …" He was slow to speak, as though he was still thinking things through. "I’m sorry sir, I was just wondering … will you be telling Tiran when you don’t grant us permission to speak to him?"

He paused, but must have seen from my expression that I was still a step behind him, because he went on, "I mean, when – when he gives us permission to talk to him but you decide that we haven’t earned that privilege, sir … will he know that we aren’t allowed to? I’m just afraid that – that he’ll be left wondering why we aren’t apologizing and begging his forgiveness after he’s granted us permission. Won’t we seem terribly – ungrateful, sir? Disrespectful?"

I saw his point, but … "Not my problem," I said brusquely.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Rocky and Gabe exchange another glance. This time Rocky gave a tiny, reassuring nod.  Maybe he saw a way around the problem. Gabe made a slow nod back and they both subsided.

I looked around the group again. The rest of them must have seen the exchange as well because they were all back to that calm, attentive expression.

Following my own train of thought, I asked abruptly, "What about when you don’t ask, and he wants to talk to you?" They looked at me in surprise so I went on. "You don’t ask for permission, but he wants to hear you beg. What then?"

After a second, Gabe said softly, "Tiran doesn’t need to make arrangements to hear us beg, sir."

I raised my eyebrows, thinking about it for a moment. "Nevertheless. He can let me know, if he wants."

Gabe nodded. "Yes sir."

"I gather you were all involved in these discussions with Tiran. Anyone else remember it differently?"

I surveyed the room. There were a few sideways glances, but no one spoke up.

"Obviously," I said, "I’ll be confirming the whole story with him." I looked at them warningly but personally, I didn’t doubt it was true. Sounded like Tiran’s usual lack of rigour where the boys were concerned. That’s why I was there.

"Van, anything else Tiran told you?"

"No sir," Pat answered.

"Anyone else get any other instructions from Tiran?"

They were looking at each other now, apparently just as curious as I was. No one ventured anything else.

"All right. I’m going to tell you how this works." I had gathered enough from these discussions to speak comfortably now. I knew how I was going to proceed. "Solomon," I said as an aside, "You might want to take notes."

Gabe nodded and slipped out of the room for something to write on, I assumed.

"Monday mornings, 10 a.m., here." I stood up, and began to prowl the room, snaking among the hushed bodies at my feet. "First, we’ll go through whatever Tiran has actually assigned to me – the things he’s asked me to deal with. Then, we’ll go through my list of issues. I’ll be keeping track of your behaviour throughout the week -- and you can be sure that my list is going to be a lot longer than his." I practically smirked at them.

Gabe was back now, listening intently and jotting on a small notepad. I went on. "And don’t even think about arguing with me. My word is law. If I don’t like the way you look at Tiran, if I don’t like the way you walk, the way you shut a door, the way you butter your bread … you’ll be answering to me. I don’t want to hear a word, an excuse, an explanation – nothing. You’ll just take your punishment and thank me for it. And make sure it doesn’t happen again."

I paused for a moment, waiting, but there was no argument there.

"Some issues will be dealt with immediately, and others will require an appointment or regular appointments with me throughout the week. Don’t expect to be punished only in private, though – I do find that public discipline is often especially … fruitful. Not that all punishment will be physical, of course." Suddenly I was curious. "How has Tiran been disciplining you up till now? What does he do when he’s pissed off at you? Time outs?" I asked sarcastically.

A couple of people shook their heads. Dusty spoke up tentatively. "He used to send us to work in the gardens, sir. He called it … serving time with the gardener – with Mr. Boothesby."

I smiled at that. I had seen Boothesby’s gardens – they’re huge and labour intensive. A few days of labour in those fields under a hot sun would teach a lesson quite effectively. I had to give Tiran credit.

Rusty nodded. "Yes, sir, that’s one thing. Another is to take privileges away from us … "

"Like what?" I cut in.

"Well, for me, my flying lessons, when I screw up or mouth off. I think for Gabe, sometimes he doesn’t let him do his inside chores for a couple of weeks. I’m not sure about the others."

Adele spoke up for the first time, volunteering quietly, "Restricted diet for me, sir."

Blackie nodded. "Same for me."

This was faintly interesting. I looked at Rocky. He wasn’t about to speak without being ordered to so I said pointedly, "Rocky?"

"No going out with him, sir," Rocky answered promptly. "When he’s pissed off at me, he won’t speak to me."

"What about the gardening?" I asked him. "Has Tiran ever given you time with Boothesby?"

Rocky held my gaze and shook his head slowly. "No, sir."

As usual with Rocky, I felt a slowly burning rage. "So basically he fights with you like he would with any friend – he doesn’t hang out with you when he’s pissed."

The look Rocky was giving me was long and serious. "No sir," he said at length. "Not like any friend. It’s a punishment."

There was a sort of stalemate as we stared at each other, me cynical, him somber.

After a moment, Dusty spoke up again. "There’s one more thing he does sometimes, sir, when he’s pissed."

"Yeah, what’s that?"

"Well, sometimes he kicks us out. I mean, not explicitly – at least, usually it’s not explicit. He usually just says that he doesn’t want to set eyes on us. And since we don’t know where he’s going to be at any given moment, we don’t dare to leave our house in case we run into him. But even then, most of us live with families that Tiry might come over to see at any time … so it really means we have to leave the complex. Usually we end up going to stay with friends or something until we’re allowed to come back."

I nodded. "OK, enough. As Pat pointed out, Tiran will keep on doing any of those things if he likes. But I promise my methods won’t be nearly so … subtle." I smiled slightly.

"Moving on. After I go through everything from the last week, we may have some broader discussions on how you’re doing -- who’s screwing up on a regular basis and who doesn’t seem to be learning from the usual routine. Who seems to be in need of more intensive training." I lingered a little over those words, to make it clear that intensive training was not something any of them wanted to experience.

"Then I suppose – assuming your story checks out with Tiran – you’ll have a chance to make your requests – to ask for permission to speak to him about the issues from that week. And I’ll let you know which ones he granted from the week before – and which ones of those I’m granting. That will take us to a discussion of privileges in general. I’ll review things like your cell phones, and whatever other privileges I decide need to be earned. You might get them back if I think you’ve done well the week before – or not. " I chuckled to myself. "We’ll see how that one goes."

Time to wrap up, I thought. "I’ll give you the next week’s duty schedule, and that will be it for the meetings. For the rest of the week you’ll show up at my office as required to deal with the things we’ve already talked about. I’m not saying you won’t get your ass kicked a few times as we go along each week, because you most definitely will." I paused and gleamed at them. "But I’ll review your behaviour systematically at the weekly meetings and deal with you accordingly. I think we’ll all find that is the best way to facilitate real learning."

I reached the front of the room and let my words hang in the air as I stood and looked at them all.

After a moment, Gabe stopped writing and stirred quietly at my feet. "Sir?" he asked tentatively. "May I … may I ask one thing?"

I nodded at him and he went on hesitantly. "I … I just wondered whether I might be able to suggest one more thing for your weekly meetings? You know, sir, sometimes -- well, often -- we – or at least I …I know I often screw up in ways that Tiran doesn’t know or maybe care about. You know, sometimes he gives me an order and I make a mistake or – or I don’t obey it as well or as quickly as I know I could. Tiran may not notice, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be punished for it, does it? So … so, I just wondered if you might consider giving us an opportunity to raise things with you that Tiran may not mention. You’d be amazed how lenient he can be with us, sir."

I surveyed Gabe thoughtfully. If it had been anyone else I would have assumed this was just some new gimmick. But somehow, coming from him, I was almost willing to consider the possibility that it was sincere.

Out loud I only said drily, "I’m sure I will. But do you really think there’s going to be anything Tiran misses that doesn’t get on to my list?"

Gabe looked at me uncertainly. "I … I’m not sure, sir. But maybe there could be things that happen when you’re not around to see …?"

I considered that for a moment then shrugged and nodded. "Fine. I’ll add it in."

"Thank you, sir." He smiled at me faintly and scribbled in his notebook again.

"Well." I pulled out my mobile and retrieved my list. It’s true Tiran hadn’t given me any specific assignments yet, but that hadn’t stopped me from noting a few things myself. I glanced around the room. "Ready to get started?"


*** A/N: The remaining four chapters in Part 1 ("Jack Arrives") are optional. You can read them if you like, or move directly on to Part 2: "Jack Adjusts", which is posted here. ***

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(1) I suppose if I'm citing allusions I should note that this is obviously a reference to George Orwell's essay "Shooting an Elephant", which ends: "I often wondered whether any of the others grasped that I had done it solely to avoid looking a fool." Not a perfect fit, but Jack is very concerned about appearances.