I Hate Loneliness but it Loves Me

School seemed to pass all to quickly with me going to class, avoiding Amber’s glare all day, and occasionally bumping into Avery once in a while. I don’t get it. Who was this girl, and why did she want me to meet her in the park so badly? Why not come over my house or something? Or some place more…not secluded? Maybe?

A slammed locker next to me jolted me out of my thoughts.

“Jeeze, Mandy, do you have to scare the shit out of me every time you’re over here?”

The girl turned to me and smiled.

Mandy had been my friend since before I could remember. She was there not only when I first came out, but when I first moved to this town. She was the only friend who didn’t run off thinking I was going to automatically hit on them. And she was there through a lot. Through breakups and through times when it was too tough to handle.

She was shorter than me, with long dark hair and dark eyes; and she always wore her prescribed square framed glasses that really accented her look. Why she didn’t get contacts? I’ll never know.

“Sorry Kat. You asked me to bring you back to life when I saw you were out of it. And you’ve seemed pretty out of it today. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…It’s really nothing. I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Does this have to do with your family again? Listen, we’ve been friends for a long time now. And I’ve stayed with you even after everyone left you when they found out you were…You know…”

I raised my eyebrow. “A lesbian, you mean?”

This caused the girl to blush.

“Yeah, that. Anyway, I told you that living on your own in the first place is going to be difficult, but you wanted to do things the hard way. I don’t think you can blame anyone but yourself for that. Just do what you always do and tough it out. Things won’t be that bad. Besides, school is almost over.”

I gave her a look and rolled my eyes. “Right. It’s almost over. But I still have to deal with Amber and her shit all day. Wonderful.”

Mandy laughed and gave me another smile. “C’mon Kat. It’s not that bad. Besides, you never know why people do the things they do.”

“Yeah? Then why do you do the things you do?”

I saw a blush on her face as she buried her head in her locker.

“Now where is that pen I was looking for? Hmm…”

“C’mon, that’s not funny…Look, don’t you ever think people can be really weird at times. They act one way, and they might be trying to hide something about themselves. You understand what I mean, don’t you?”

“In fact, I do understand. Look, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time now. I really haven’t had the courage to do so…”

My eyebrow raised again and I stared at her, hard.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the bell rang, and she grabbed her books frantically. “Dammit! Sorry, Kat. I can’t be late again or the teacher is going to have my head. I’ll…I’ll talk to you later, all right?”

“Yeah…Talk to you later, Mandy.”

I watched her run off and turned around to get something in my locker. I never had a chance to see her turn back and look at me with sad eyes.

The final bell finally rang, and though there were teenagers rushing outside to get to their rides or to their cars, I stayed behind, walking slowly to look for my truck; to go back to my empty apartment and my empty shell of a life. A shudder ran down my back seconds before there was a soft, seducing whisper in my ear.

“See you tonight.”

Avery walked past me, her hips swaying, making my mouth drop open and my gaze stuck on her backside. I shuddered as a familiar feeling slid down the front of my jeans.

The car ride was silent, and when I walked into my apartment it was silent there as well. I wondered and tried to think less and less of going to the park to meet this girl. Thoughts ran through my head, and of course, I didn’t know what to do. Until a few minutes of sitting in silence. Then I stood up, and drove to the park, watching the sun go down and night fall take over.

I hadn’t been in this part of town for a while. To get to the park, you have to cross the cemetery. People usually go by it instead of going through it. Of course, those people probably haven’t lost a friend or family member like I have. I was only fourteen when my best friend died. She was more like a sister than a friend to me, but…She just died one day; I really don’t want to get into details. I used to sit beside her in my house and tell her that I loved her more than the moon, and the stars, and the sun. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more lonely in my life after she was gone from me. But I can feel her here sometimes. In the air, in the breeze; not too soft, not too harsh, but enough to let me know she’s watching.

I walked over to her grave, said hello, and soon after started for the park, wiping the tears trickling down my cheeks. I didn’t know the plans she had for me; the fate I was soon to be collided with.

Once arriving, I sat down upon a rock, at the area the girl had told me to meet her at. As I sat there, I started thinking of a few things. Call me crazy, but I had a lot on my mind. Like why I shouldn’t have came here, or what I had to lose by going to this area anyway. I had a switchblade in my pocket just in case this girl tried to get any smart ideas. I know it sounds crazy, but why would some random girl ask me to meet her at a secluded place?

“Because of your blood…” I heard a whisper in the air, through the chill of the night, but it felt like it was just my imagination playing tricks on me. Which was weird because that was the first time I’ve ever heard my imagination.

“A…Avery? Hey, I’m here, uh…Where are you?”

“Relax, Kat, I’m right here.” She walked through the bushes and sat down across from me.

Yeah, right. Relax when this girl I don’t even know is telling me to meet her in a semi-secluded area.

“Why did you want me here, Avery? I uh…I don’t know you. I’ve never met you before in my life, and I haven’t seen you until today.”

She was damn good at hiding her emotions. “I’m not worried about that. I haven’t seen you before either, Willow--”

I watched as she opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “I’m sorry, you look so much like a friend of mine, it was just a slip of the tongue.”

My heart started beating in slight fear, and I was ready to leave. However, she surprisingly stood up before I did.

“I’m sorry, I forgot something in my car, and need to go get it. Do you mind waiting here for a few minutes?”

I nodded my head, but didn’t want to wait any longer, especially with everything weird happening around me with this girl. Thoughts were running through my brain. Why not run? Why not get up and walk away since I feel so uncomfortable? But it wasn’t that simple. Curiosity kept me here. She hadn’t killed me yet. She hadn’t taken any of my money, and she didn’t seem dangerous, aside from an outburst of someone else’s name. The thing that essentially bothered me however, was how long I was waiting for her to return. Five minutes passed. Then ten, and I started to become worried not only for my safety, but for hers as well.

After a while, I got up and started walking around the park to ease my boredom. A rustle in the bushes caused me to turn my head, and when nothing moved, I started walking a bit faster.

“Hello? Avery, is that you?”

Silence.

My speed continued to pick up as the rustling continued. It seemed like something was surely following me, so I walked a little faster, until the I heard the sound of footsteps, which started to walk faster than I was. And then I decided to break out into a run. Whatever was following me managed to catch up to me. I could see a glimpse of it running next to me in the tall grassy area towards the nature area of the park. Damn the environmentalists. Always had to grow shit to make a habitat for these insane animals.

And then when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it pounced.

I quickly put my arms up for protection so it wouldn’t rip my face clean off. The animal took a bite out of my arm, making me scream in pain. I tried to push it off, and it seemed to wriggle free after that one bite. I didn’t get a good glimpse of the thing that bit me. It was probably a wild bear, or something like that. Whimpering, I looked at the mess of my arm, blood dripping on the floor, making me feel more and more lightheaded by the second. I had to do something fast, I didn’t want to die from some stupid animal. To stop the bleeding, I ripped off a piece of my shirt and held it over the wound, dressing it until someone came. But the pain was too unbearable; the wound wouldn’t stop bleeding.

Then I heard a voice. I was scared the thing had come back for seconds, however it wasn’t that of an animal. It was the voice of a sweet girl with a British accent I had met earlier. “A…Avery?” I watched as she stumbled upon me holding my bloody arm. She looked worried, and rushed to my aid.

It was then I blacked out. And I don’t remember anymore after that.