Love For Sale

I groaned as I struggled to wake up. It was too dark inside my room, but I could see small streams of light bursting through the cracks of the curtains. I sighed and turned over on my back, throwing my arm over my eyes and tried to fall back to sleep. I laid awake for the rest of the morning, just trying to fall back asleep but with no avail. I rounded up getting a nasty headache, and I reached for some pain killers on my nightstand. Once I took the two tablets, I decided to watch a little bit of T.V. to help me try to get back to sleep. I looked at my digital clock on the nightstand and groaned, it was seven in the morning, I thought it was later. I moaned as I repositioned myself at the foot of the bed and turned on the T.V. it was when I replanted myself that I noticed my client was missing. I sat up on my knees and looked around the darkened room. I thought he had already left, but I noticed his clothes were still thrown over an arm chair in the corner. I sighed and wondered where my client might have gone, so I headed over towards the bathroom. When I got closer I smiled when I heard the water running, and I knocked on the door. There was no answer, so I knocked again as I opened the door. I found my client standing over the bathroom sink, the water was on and he was washing his face. I smiled and leaned up against the door frame and reached out to stroke his arm.

“Morning, George.” I said, still in a daze. George didn’t say anything. He just looked up at me and gave me a small smile. “You’re up early enough.” I commented.

“I am always up early.” George replied, shutting the water off and drying his face with a clean towel.

“It’s too early for my tastes.” I sighed, looking back at the digital clock. “Come back to bed with me.” I moaned, wrapping my arms around him.

“Sorry Kyle, I have to go.” he sighed, pulling me off his back. He exited the bathroom, and I followed him and sat on my bed. I watched him get dressed and sighed and reflected.

George had been coming to see me for the past seven months, a record for me and the brothel. Every time he saw me it was pure bliss, and I felt like it never ended. He always paid the full price I charged for a fuck, but I didn’t charge him extra for the rest of the night. Usually he would fuck me in the early morning, and would leave right after he was done. But sometimes, on nights that he was off work, he would spend the night with me. Those were the nights that I loved the most, but I was always sad when morning came and he was gone before I was up. It was three months after he was seeing me that he confessed his love to me. That was the happiest night of my life. I had other guys saying that they loved me, but I knew that they only loved my body and not me. George got dressed quickly as usual and began searching my room for the rest of his items. As I watched him I couldn’t help but think when I was going to see him again. Whenever he would leave he would not tell me when he would be back, but I knew he always would be back within the next few days. I decided to ask him this time, but I feared that he would not answer me. But I decided to ask him anyway.

“When will you be back?”

He looked up at me and sighed. He didn’t say anything for the next few seconds, but he did reply to my question. “I’m sorry, Kyle.” he sighed, putting his wristwatch back on. “But I can’t see you anymore.”

“What?” I gasped, thinking that this was a joke. But I could tell in the policeman’s eyes that he was not joking. “You’re serious.”

“I’m sorry, but yes I’m.”

I stared down at the floor and thought about what Rose just said. I felt like I was just stabbed in the back, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I could tell that my heart was broken, and it hurt like hell. I sniffled and tried not to cry about George leaving me, but I felt tears run down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away before he noticed, and I looked back up at him. He didn’t look sad, nor happy. He just had a straight face on, and I couldn’t tell how he was feeling on the inside. I stood up. I wanted to hug him, but I couldn’t, I was too afraid that he would push me away. I turned and tried to hide my tears. I heard George shush me, and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He was trying to comfort me, but I didn’t want him to. He kissed me to calm me down even more, but that didn’t do much.

“Kyle, I’m sorry. You know I want to continue this more than you do, but I have stop.”

“But why?” I started to choke on my tears and I felt like breaking down and crying.

“I am doing this for my family.” I closed my eyes and sniffled. That was another stab in the heart for me, and I tried harder to hold my tears back. “I hope you understand what I am doing.”

“I understand. Your family comes first.” I recognized this months ago when he first came to see me. He had showed me a wallet size picture of his family. They looked so happy together. When I saw him with his family, I knew soon that he would be leaving me, but he still came to see me every few days.

“Yes. Again…I’m sorry.” he paused, slipping his hands down my pajama bottoms. I felt something scrape across my thighs, and I knew what it was. I closed my eyes again, and George pulled my head up and placed one last kiss over my lips. I moaned, thinking that he was going to deepen it, but he didn’t. I tried to deepen it myself, but he didn’t open for me. I knew that this was the end, and he pulled away from me. My lips quivered as we parted, and I felt like my whole world was shattering right before my eyes.

“You know I still love you, Kyle. That will never change.”

“I know. I love you too.” I replied. And with that he was gone.

I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer, and I let them came in droves once George left my room. I sobbed and sat back on my bed before I fell, collapsing from the shock. I pulled the money out of my pants that Gorge had left me, and I saw that it was three times the amount he usually paid me. That just made me angry, and I began sobbing hysterically and threw the money into an empty corner. I crawled back into bed after that, and thought about everything that George and I did together. In the end however, all I was to him was a cheap man whore he fucked on the side. It was then that I knew that George Rose truly didn’t love me. The more I thought about what Rose did to me, the more I sobbed, till I couldn’t cry anymore and I fell back to sleep. When I woke, it was three in the afternoon, but I didn’t want to get out of bed. I heard the door bell ringing several times, but I never went down. I was in a deep depression that I didn’t want to get out of. Chad checked on me once, but I didn’t want to see him. I was too depressed and too miserable to see anyone. But he didn’t take no for an answer and came in. He entered through the bathroom we shared, and came and sat on my bed. I had dozed off again and woke up when he started shaking me.

“Kyle, get up.” I heard him say, shaking me harder. I didn’t wake up the first time, so he shook me again.

“Go away,” I cried. “I don’t want to see or talk to anyone right now.”

“You had another client break up with you again?” Chad sighed standing up. I didn’t say anything. I just pulled the covers up over my head. “Kyle you need to get up and forget about him. God, sometimes you act like just like a kid.”

“Well if you have forgotten already, Chad….I am a kid.” I argued back. It was true, I was the youngest prostitute here at the brothel. Kris didn’t want to take me in, but if it wasn’t for Chad, then I would still be on the streets. A lot of my clients were also shocked by my age, but they didn’t care. They just wanted to fuck me and get out of the house before the police came to shut this place down. I wasn’t even old enough to pass for my fake I.D. card that I had.

“I know you’re a kid.” Chad sighed, sitting back down on the bed with me. It’s just…I think sometimes this place isn’t right for you. I mean, you can still get your diploma.”

“I know. But this is the only thing I know. I don’t want to do anything else.”

“Kyle---” I waited for Chad to say something, but he never did. He just sighed and sat back on my bed. I scooted over so he could a little bit more room, and he laid a small kiss on my temple. “At least try to forget about him.” He softly spoke, bushing my hair with his hands. “Take a walk, find somebody new to crush over. Just get over him. I don’t like to see you moping around.” He gave me another kiss on the temple before he left, and he closed the bathroom door as he did.

I sighed as Chad’s words spun around in my head like it was a merry-go-round. I hated it, and I reached for my Ipod. I wanted to drown out Chad’s words, but no matter how high I turned the music up, I couldn’t forget them. What Chad said also made me toss and turn that night, I couldn’t get to sleep, and I ended up only getting two hours of sleep in the early morning. When I woke from my short sleep, I decided I couldn’t stay here and I headed out the door.

I didn’t know where I was going to go, but I looked to the left and I thought that was a good direction to head. I sighed and began walking. I wanted to get my head cleared, so I walked a straight line. I kept my head down, so I wouldn’t make eye contact with anybody, and only looked up when I needed to. hours into my walk, I looked up and I saw that I walked all the way to the city college. It was five in the afternoon when I arrived at the school, so there weren’t that many students on campus. I knew that the school had a small bar on campus, so I wondered over there for dinner. When I arrived, I saw that there weren’t too many people, so I sat at the bar itself. The bartender soon came to take my order. I still felt like crap from last night, and ordered a beer. When the bartender asked for my card, I held my breath as I gave it to him. I tried as much to alter the thing to look like me, but the last few times it didn’t work. I was surprised that it did work this time, and the bartender handed me a cold beer from the cooler. I had two beers with my dinner, and I sat and moped around the bar for a little while. I gazed around the room and tried to see if I could pick-up a college student. But all the guys that I saw weren’t alone, and they didn’t look like they would want to fuck me. I decided to leave after I scoped out the room, and paid my tab. I shuffled my feet across the tile floor as I exited the student union, and wondered down the street. The school was small, and ran down a single street, but it seem big to me. I stopped outside the art building, where there was a stone bench and sat for a while. I was still too depressed about George, sadly the walk didn’t help. I felt like I was going to cry over him again, but I didn’t have a chance.

I gasped and shot up as a bright flash of lightening shot through the air. A few seconds later, thunder clapped and I ran for shelter. The art building was locked, so I ran towards the others to see if they were open. I raced under an overhead when I found no door was open and by that time, I was half way soaked. I tried the doors that were behind me, but they were also closed. I grunted in frustration and banged on the door. Not one single door was open for me, and I felt like I wanted to cry because of that. The best thing I could do now was to wait out the storm. I didn’t want to, but I had to. I stood for awhile, but my feet started to hurt, so I sank down to the ground. The ground was cold, but I didn’t mind, I was safe. While I waited out the storm, I closed my eyes and listened to the rain. I counted the seconds between the lighting and thunder to see how many miles away it was. It wasn’t too far off, which scared the shit out of me a few times, but I didn’t really care. There was a clock tower on the other side of the street, and I saw that it was almost ten. I was there for two hours, and I didn’t know how much longer I could sit here. The lightening storm stopped thirty minutes later, and I thought it was best to head back to the brothel. The rain was still pouring down, but I didn’t care and I walked out into the downpour. As I passed the building that sheltered me from the rain, I heard music playing. I stopped to listen to it, and I heard that it was the sound of a piano. The more I listened to it, the more I wondered where it was coming from. I rounded the building I was sheltered under, and heard it getting louder as I walked. I soon came to an open window, and I saw the lights were on inside. I peeked inside, and I saw a man sitting at the piano. His back was towards me, so I couldn’t see his face. His blond hair was messy, but short, and he was hunched over the keys.

I smiled as I listened to the music. It was a beautiful tone, and he played it soft at some parts, and loud on other parts. I couldn’t tell if it was one big song, or many short songs, because the tempo changed every so often. I didn’t know how long I was standing there, but just as I arrived, the pianist stopped and exited the room. I was kind of disappointed. I wanted to hear more from the man, but I guessed I wasn’t going to get the chance. I walked back to the brothel after that, slowly taking my time. I arrived shortly after one in the morning, where I slumped up the stairs to my room. I didn’t have the strength to take my clothes off; I was too weighted down by soaked clothes. But I had to get out of them, so I went into the bathroom to take them off. I saw that the door to Chad’s room was wide open. I didn’t want to make too much noise, but Chad was a light sleeper, and he woke when I turned on the light.

“Kyle?” he groaned, sitting up. “What time is it? Damn, where have you been?” He asked, checking the time and jumping out of his bed.

“Nowhere.” I replied, and began peeling my clothes off.

“My, butt.” Chad spat, helping me out my wet clothes. “God, you leave in the morning, and don’t return until now. I have been worried about you all day. I should put a GPS on you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine.” I said, nasally.

“You don’t sound good.” I sniffled, and Chad felt my head. I sneezed while he was feeling me, and he broke out the thermometer. I groaned as he placed it under my tongue, and he took out the cold medicine that we had. Chad exchanged the thermometer for the cold medicine, and I chugged it down. It was a nasty bitter flavor, but I didn’t disobey Chad. “I want you to get to bed, now. You’re sick. One hundred and three.”

“Since when did you turn into my mom?” I asked, stepping into my pajama bottoms.

“Since you started living here. Now, get to bed.” He pushed me towards my bed. I groaned as he got me into bed, and tucked me in. He then kissed me goodnight, like a mom would with her young child, and left me to get some sleep.

I ended spending the next two weeks in bed sick. When Kris found out, he told me not to bother coming down when the door bell rang. I didn’t mind Kris’s decision at first, but the longer I was in bed, the longer I wanted to get out. The end of the month was coming up fast, and I didn’t have enough money to pay for rent. Chad had plenty of money and asked if he could pay for my room this month. I told him no, but he didn’t take no for an answer. On the day the rent was due, I got in a big fight with him, saying that it was none of his business to help me out. In the end he gave up, and I was left to fend for myself. When Kris came around to collect this month’s rent, I was five hundred dollars short.

“I don’t understand this, Kyle.” Kris sighed, counting the money that I gave him. “You had enough at the beginning of the month. What happened? Did you spend it on worthless shit again?”

“Yes.” I confessed. Over the past month I had enough for two months worth of rent, but I spent it on food and drugs. Even the money that George gave me for the last fuck we had wasn’t even enough.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Kyle.” he sighed again.

“Well, I think we can work something out.” I smiled, leaning into him. I had heard from my co-workers that they fucked Kris for rent, so I decided to give it a try. My smile got wider as I leaned into him more, roaming my fingers around his chest.

“What are you doing?” Kris asked. I can tell he was getting annoyed with me, but I just continued trying to seduce him. “Kyle, stop.” and he pushed me away.

“What’s wrong?”

“I know what you are trying to do, and I don’t like it.”

“What?”

“I don’t accept a fuck for payment. I run a business here, not a charity. Now I know this is your first time short on rent, so I will let you off easy. But you have until the third week of this month to come up with the money. Okay?”

“Okay.” I didn’t like it, but I accepted it and started to work on this month’s rent.

For the next three weeks I worked my ass off. But no matter how hard I tried, I didn’t seem to get that many clients. I was able to get two hundred, but that was all. I had walked the upside of town, waiting for a car to pull up, but no one hardly came. I didn’t have any luck at the brothel either. Chad was getting worried about me too, and he still offered me the money. I denied him every time, even though it was tempting every time he offered. By the third week, I had given up and packed a small bag with a few clothes and belongings. Before I tried to get money for my rent, I hid the backpack I had in the park where I knew it wouldn’t be found. I hoped that this night was the night I was going to get the money, but it wasn’t. I ended sleeping in the park that night. I didn’t want to go back to the brothel, when I knew that Kris would just kick me out. I spent the last week of the month sleeping in the park, hoping that the police wouldn’t pick me up. I felt unwanted and unloved, but I never gave up hope. After I moved out of the brothel, I still had a few guys asking for my services on the streets. But they would always be quick, and I would find myself back on the streets within an hour or two.

Another month went by, and I found I was still living on the streets. I had told myself that I would go back to the brothel when I had the money, but I felt that was another dream that won’t come true. The guys who picked me up on the streets only wanted blowjobs, which only gave me fifty bucks every time I gave one. I would walk the streets all day and would accept any guy who wanted me. I didn’t care, I needed the money. One night I found myself back at the town’s college, and wandered up and down rows of buildings. It was mid-afternoon, so students were just now coming out their last classes for the day. I wandered over to where the music building was, and hoped that the doors were still open. I was thankful that they were, and walked right in. I wanted to hear the pianist again. Ever since I heard the music, I wanted to hear more from him. Every night I would re-play the notes that I heard from the piano. But the one thing that I really wanted to see was the man who was playing.

Even though I didn’t see his face, I imagined what he looked like. I imagined he had soft blue eyes, and a serious look on his face as he played. But when he didn’t I imagined his smile was also soft, but big. He wasn’t skinny, nor was he fat. He was just right, and was the right size to cuddle up close to on cold nights. I found a bench in the hallway and sat for a while. I closed my eyes and hummed a few of the notes. While I was humming, I realized a piano was playing in the back of my mind. I opened my eyes to find the music was coming from down the hall. I decided to follow it. I smiled when the music got louder, and I stopped outside of a classroom. I hesitated at first, thinking that it might have been somebody else playing, but I needed to know if it was the pianist from that night. The music stopped and just as I was about to open the door I heard talking. The voices were muffled, but I could make out some words. It sounded like the guy was a teacher, and was talking about some guy named Boq. I sighed and took a seat on the ground across from the classroom. It was awhile before the classroom doors opened, but every now and then I would hear the piano play inside. Almost an hour after I sat down, the doors opened and I was confronted with a stream of students coming out of the room. I quickly stood up and waited for the teacher. I had figured that it was the music teacher who was playing that night, so I needed to see him. I was nervous and thought about backing out, but I stood firm. It was only until the music teacher came out of the classroom last that I started to freak. He noticed me and smiled. I tried to smile back, but the image that I had of him was nothing compared to what I saw in front of me. It was more. I was speechless, and I felt like an idiot just standing there. I started picking at my fingernails as we stood in the hallway, and I felt sick. I wanted to walk away, but my feet were not responding to my brainwaves. After what seemed like minutes, the music teacher stepped closer and I took one step back.

“Hello.” He said. His voice was calm and pure, which made a shiver ran down my back. I didn’t know what to say back. The common reply would say hello back, but my voice was stuck in my throat. The teacher took another step forward and I took another step back. “Were you waiting for me?” He asked, lowering his head so he could look into my eyes.

“You stupid fuck!” I grunted, kicking a tree once I was outside. I ended up running away after the music teacher asked if I was waiting for him. I felt so stupid about what I did. I took my anger out on the tree I ran into, and kicked the base of it. My toes became numb after a while, but I kept on kicking. I would punch it once in a while and began cry softly. ‘I should have not come back here’ I thought, but I wanted to come back. I wanted to listen to him play. After awhile, I stopped taking my anger out on nature and just leaned up against the tree. I still felt like shit after I got everything out, but I felt like I didn’t get everything out. I turned around and began hitting my head against the tree. I thought that would make me feel better, but all that made me have was a headache.

“You know, you are killing brain cells by doing that.” I heard a voice call out to me. I stopped and looked towards the voice. I was shocked, and my throat closed up again when I saw it was the same music teacher from before. I contracted my body into a straight line, and began picking at my fingernails again.

“What are you doing anyway?” He asked, coming closer to me. I didn’t reply. I just stared at the ground and pretended that he was not in front of me. However, I could tell that he wasn’t going to leave anytime soon, not until I talked to him anyway.

“Can you even talk?” He asked, half laughing. I got embarrassed, and hugged my arms closer to myself. I at least gave him a slight nod, and I heard him groan. He sighed, and I moved my gaze up towards him. He looked like he was pondering who I was, and was thinking about what to do with me. He began asking me questions, which I gave a slight head nod or a shake to answer them with. I felt stupid not telling him with words, but this was the only way for me.

“Are you a student here?” He asked. I shook my head no and gazed over to the right side of me. “Do you live around here?” again I shook my head no. He stopped for a while, but I could tell he was looking me over. I had been hearing the same cloths for the past two weeks, which were all tattered and torn, and I reeked of B.O. My hair wasn’t even brushed, and my face was smudged with dirt. After he was done looking me over, he sighed and I saw him shake his head. “When was the last time you had something decent to eat?”

This time I couldn’t shake my head yes or no for an answer. It took me a while before I could form words, but when I did I felt like kicking myself as I stuttered, “Sin-since last month.”

“That long?” He was shocked, and he shook his head. “Come on.” He sighed, stretching out his hand to me, his briefcase in his other hand, “Let’s get you something to eat.” I didn’t say anything. I just nodded and slowly followed him towards the parking lot behind the music building.