So It Starts

I thought of the possum today.



Someone had to have gone out of their way to run over it.



The possum was right in the middle of the road, on the double yellow stripes…it couldn’t have been accidental.



But I guess that’s the world we live in…a world where people go out of their way to run over the dead.





Mindy and I were taking a walk. I hated taking unnecessary walks; when I walked I liked to know that there was a purpose to it, that I was going somewhere. This just seemed aimless.



It was too hot. I felt the sweat cling to my skin. The dress was big enough that it didn’t stick to me, but that was the only thing that didn’t. I could feel my damp underwear, and I knew it had gone transparent. I was constantly wiping my face, it glowed red and my eyelids felt heavy.



We stopped when we got to Andy’s. He owned a garage. I never really talked to Andy, but Mindy did. I guess Andy was handsome, and also in a constant state of dirtiness. Those two things seemed to appeal to her.



It was just like always; she flirted, bent over a lot so that he would have a nice clear view of her cleavage and touched him sparsely, but often. I touched his tools, looked at the insides of the hoods, and even though I had no inkling as to what I was looking at, I still enjoyed looking at it. A car engine is a beautiful thing, even to an ignorant like me. The shape, all those little parts working together to make an object move…it’s fascinating.



I was looking at a shiny, red car. I can’t tell you what model or make it was, all I knew was that it looked expensive and was very conspicuous. I could just imagine the rich, bored wife of someone loving this car more than she loved her own life. Or maybe a man who had grown tired of the routine of his life…Whatever the story behind this car, I hoped it was befitting to the nature of it…it represented freedom.



I smelled her before I saw her. She had a tendency to wear too much perfume, at least it seemed that way to me. She didn’t walk, she strutted. Each step was a personal accomplishment, each step a triumph. She held her head high, rested one hand against her hip, and she swung those hips liberally. It was something to watch her walk, almost as if the observer could gain an ounce of her confidence just by watching her. Many people watched her. Sarah was her name, and she Andy’s wife.



She looked like Mindy, slender, graceful, blonde and beautiful. But Mindy did not yet have the fine lines that adored Sarah’s face.



“What’cha doin’?” Sarah asked this of Andy casually, wrapping her arms around his hip.



“Nothing baby, just finishing up.” He said just as casually wrapping his arm around her shoulder.



Sarah gave a little “hmm” in the back of her throat, and smiled. Mindy had started twirling her hair between two fingers, still bent over the car. Sarah glanced at her side-ways, but did not talk to her.



“You look thirsty honey, come get something to drink.” Sarah cooed to Andy, gently brushing his hair away from his face. I found the cooing ridicules, especially considering that Andy looked like a convict, the least of which needed to be babied.



“Yeah, I’m feeling a little thirsty. How about you girls? Want something to drink?” He asked us.



“Yes.” Mindy chirped quickly, a big smile breaking out across her face. I smiled and nodded. I hoped it was going to be a cold drink, the heat had gotten worst since this morning.



“Hey Baby, I didn’t see you there. Tell your mama hi for me, won’t you sugah?” Sarah said and I nodded. “Well come on. Let’s get cooled off.” Sarah led Andy by the hand and we followed.



Their house was behind the garage, and even though it was small, it was luxuriously furnished. The living room was lined with tastefully done abstract painting that fit the modern décor of leather and technology. Their kitchen was completely different. It was painted in warm autumn red and furnished in dark cherry wood.



It doesn’t make much sense that they have such nice things considering that Andy’s just a mechanic and Sarah didn’t work. But as it turns out, Andy’s so good with cars that people come from all around the country and pay him a lot of money to repair really old, special cars. So, I suppose, he’s a little more than your average mechanic.



There were roses on the table. I felt a pedal to see if it was real, and the organic velvet of it reassured me.



Sarah took out a beer for Andy and herself, and asked us what we wanted.



“You should be asking me what I can have, not what I want. I want a beer, but I reckon you’re not gonna provide.” Mindy said with a little smirk. Andy smiled and took a swing of his beer, his adam’s apple going up and down. My hand went to my throat and I wondered, again, what it would be like to have one of those. When he finished Andy saw me looking and gave me a wink. I looked at Sarah, she didn’t look too happy.



“May I please have some water?” I kind of mumble, always surprised to hear my own voice.



“Of course Baby, here you go. All these years around her and you’re still as impolite as you were as a bratty six year old, Mindy. Now what do you want to drink?” Sarah said in a biting tone.



“Water is fine.” Mindy said with a scowl.



I held the glass to my face, ran it over my forehead, cheeks and lips before taking a sip. I closed my eyes enjoying the coolness as it ran down my throat. I wanted to raise the glass above my head and pour it over me.



When I opened my eyes, I saw a little drop of perspiration run down the vase that was holding the roses.



I wished for rain.



“…show it to me?” Mindy was finishing. I was confused, I hadn’t been paying any sort of attention.



“Come on.” Sarah motioned and Mindy got up to leave.



I watched them leave, not sure if I was supposed to follow or not. I turned to look at Andy and saw him staring questioningly at me.



“You’re a bad one Baby.” He said, leaning back into his chair and parting his legs a little.



I cocked my head to the side. No one’s ever said that about me. I’m always the quiet, shy, innocent, pudgy friend of Mindy. I started to smile slowly, sure that he was putting me on.



“Ah. You think that pretty smile is going to fool me?” He put his hands behind his head and crossed them. His shirt stretched across his chest and I saw the sweat stains under his arms, and on his chest, they clung to his muscles and a smirk played on his lips. I thought of my own sweaty skin.



“Those big eyes won’t save you for long, neither will anyone else.” He leaned forwards, crooked a finger my way and whispered “Wanna know a secret?”



I leaned forward. I didn’t anticipate anything too great, I thought that Andy was just messing with me like he usually does.



“One day you’re going to be alone - not surrounded by this town of babysitters - and someone is going to come around and fuck that silence right out of you.” His whisper had turned from soft to harsh. I jumped away from him and his disgusting words.



I stood up from my seat, anxious to get away from him and find Mindy and Sarah. He quickly reached out and grabbed my hips, kneading them harshly and pulling me towards him. He looked up at me, a dark smile on his face. I had never seen him this way. I had always thought that I was invisible to him



“And who knows? Maybe that someone is going to be me.” He said casually looking down my body, resting his gaze on my breasts.



“Bad.” It escaped my mouth before I could think. I scratched at his hands, and he let me go.



“Bad? Well darlin’… I ain’t the only one.” He laughed throwing his head back. I backed away from him, not leaving the kitchen because I didn’t know where to go. I couldn’t leave without Mindy.



I wanted to hurt him. I wanted it to have been his face instead of hands that I had scratches. He had never been like this before. He had looked through me when I was around, only seeing Mindy and her short tops and skirts. Now he was looking at me like I’ve never seen him look at Mindy before, with hunger and anger – he looked like he wanted to hurt me. I didn’t understand.



“Why are you doing this?” There was a tremble in my voice, and I realized that I was close to tears.



The horrible look went away and was replaced my one of exasperation. “Baby you can’t expect to walk around here ripe and not think that it’ll affect the men around you.” He stood up, his frame looking broader and taller than I had ever noticed before, and started walking towards me.



I couldn’t stand to be near him anymore. I turned and ran out the door, down the dirt road. I ran until I reached concrete, a main road. Then I finally felt like it was okay to slow down. My breath came in short gasps, my chest rose up high, I looked back to see that he wasn’t there, thankfully he wasn’t.



My house was four miles away.



It was three in the afternoon.



The sun shone mercilessly.