Lies and Forgiveness

Theo was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher when Mickey got home from work. She said hello to him when he came in the back door, but he said nothing. She continued with her chore, painfully aware of him as he took of his boots and jacket, then stepped up beside her to wash his face and hands in the sink. He would leave a thin dirty gray film on the bottom of the sink, he always did. She didn’t say anything when he dried his face on the white hand towel instead of using the patterned one, as she repeatedly asked him to. It didn’t matter that he stained them gray. If she said anything, she would be accused of being anal, like his mother. So she bit her tongue and waited.

She sat down at the table and lit a cigarette, and after a moment he sat down in front of her. She studied him carefully through the smoke; he looked tired, and she suspected he was hungry. He usually was. “I’ll start dinner when I’m done with this.” she said finally, gesturing with her cigarette.

“No, that’s all right.” he said, and she lifted an eyebrow at him. “I ordered pizza on the drive home. Your favorite, too.” he attempted a smile at her.

She knew this was his way of apologizing for calling her a bitch. He was incapable of actually saying he was sorry, so he did little things like this until he felt he had atoned for what he’d done. She tapped ash into the tray on the table and said, “That was very nice of you.”

He shrugged one shoulder, and then stood and came over to crouch beside her chair. “I missed you today.”

“Did you?” she asked, and he nodded. “That’s sweet, Mickey.”

“What did you do today?” he asked her, reaching up to brush his knuckles along the ridges of her braid.

“I washed the bathroom floor.” she said, and he looked away from her quickly. “Twice.” she added, although this wasn’t true. There was a moment of very awkward silence, and then she went on. “I read. I worked. Spencer came over.”

“Did he? Why?” Mickey stood up and walked back to his chair.

“Chloe threw a fit over her birthday.” she said, and Mickey snorted and nodded. “He was looking for advice.”

“How long did he stay?”

She shrugged. “An hour or so. He had things to do.” she took a hit from her cigarette. “How was work?”

“Same as always.” he said, which meant it was awful. Mickey hated his job. It was hard, dirty work that left him feeling sore and worn out. “I should take a shower.” he fished two twenties out of his wallet and set them on the table. He surprised her by stopping on his way past her to plant a kiss on her head and whisper, “I love you.” into her hair.

“I love you, too.” she replied softly, and listened to him go up the stairs. She waited, and when she heard the shower turn on, she put her face in her hands and cried for a while. She wasn’t sure if she meant it anymore.

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Spencer drummed his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the song on the radio and glanced at his watch again. Chloe told him eighty thirty; it was quarter after nine. He sighed and leaned back against the seat, humming along to the radio. He was getting annoyed.

They were supposed to go play pool with Chloe’s sister. Spencer didn’t want to go; he hated Elise. She was loud and vapid, and sometimes he wanted to smack her until she swallowed some teeth. She was the kind of girl that assured him he never wanted kids; if his daughter ended up that way, he’d disown her.

He saw Chloe’s front door open and sighed with relief. “About time.” he muttered, and smiled at her when she got in the car. “Hey, honey.”

“Hi.” she snapped out, slamming the car door too hard and putting on her seat belt with erratic, forceful gestures. “We’re going to be late.” she told him, her tone suggested that this was his fault.

“I know.” he told her, and threw the car into drive. About five minutes passed in silence. She leaned over, glaring at the speedometer, then sighed heavily and threw herself back into her seat. He grit his teeth together and pushed down on the gas pedal a little.

“Don’t speed.” she snapped at him, and he tightened his grip on the steering wheel to keep from choking her. “If we get pulled over-”

“I’m not going to get pulled over.” he bit out.

She sniffed. “You don’t have to have an attitude, Spencer.” she told him. “Honestly, I should be able to tell you how I feel.”

“This isn’t exactly the type of situation that warrants-”

“Don’t tell me how to feel!” she shrieked at him, and he stared at her incredulously. “And look where you’re going!”

“What the hell is your problem?” he asked her. “Are you trying to start a fight?”

“You started it.” she told him, and lifted her chin in a defiant way that made him want to reach over and shake her.

“You’re the reason we’re late, Chloe.” he reminded her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry I had something to take care of!” she snarled at him. “If I had known you had other more urgent plans, I would’ve completely neglected everything else to make sure-”

“Chloe, stop it.” she glared at him, and folded her arms across her chest. “Seriously, what is the matter? You were late coming out of the house. We’re going to be late meeting your sister because of that. And as soon as you got in the fucking car-”

“Don’t swear at me.” she hissed at him.

“-you started freaking the hell out at me.”

“Fine. Everything’s my fault.”

He growled wordlessly. “I don’t even know why we’re fighting, how am I supposed to know who’s fault it is?”

“You wouldn’t listen anyway.” she told him. “It’s pointless to even talk to you about it.”

“Then why did you start the fight in the first place?”

“YOU started it!” she practically screamed. She screamed again when he jerked the car onto the shoulder and slammed on the brakes. “What the hell are you doing, trying to give me whip lash?!”

“If you can’t fucking control yourself, I’m not going tonight.” he told her flatly.

“I told you not to swear at me.” she snapped, and then her face crumpled. Instantly she was in tears. “Why are you so mean to me?” she whimpered at him.

Miraculously, the huge guilty weight her tears usually dropped onto his chest wasn’t there. In fact, her crying actually made him furious. “I’m not mean to you, Chloe.” he told her, trying to keep his voice calm despite the urge to scream in her face. “You’re having a bad day or something, and you’re taking it out on me.”

“Oh, sure, just blame everything on me.” she wailed. “You might as well just tell me it’s PMS!”

He shook his head. “I’m not fighting with you, and you can’t bait me into it. Either you calm the hell down and act like a normal person, or I’m going home.”

“So what, I’m not normal?” she shot at him. “I’m crazy, right?”

His mouth opened without him meaning it to. “You said it, not me.” as soon as it was out, he regretted it. Not just for the perfectly placed slap she landed on his left cheek, but because he knew he just made this a million times worse.

“Take me home.” she sobbed. “Right fucking now.”

“Don’t swear at me.” he told her, and she could see in her face that she wanted to slap him again. He threw the car into drive again and took her home. He sped the entire way. She said nothing. When he pulled up in front of her house, he said, “We’ll talk tomorrow, when we’re both calm, okay?”

“Whatever.” she mumbled through sniffles, and practically ran up the house. He sighed and rested his aching cheek against the steering wheel for a moment. As he sat there, trying to calm down, his cell phone beeped. Scowling, he fished it out of his pocket and flipped it open to read the text.

FROM: Theo
Gotta get out of here. Up for a drink?

He smiled a little and texted her back.

TO: Theo
Sounds awesome. Ride?

A moment later he got a response.

FROM: Theo
Walking. Meet you there.

He drove to their regular bar, a tiny place near Theo’s house called Slim’s. He was parking just as Theo rounded the side of the building. She was wearing her bright red jacket, which looked more like a hooded cloak than a coat, and her knit hat that looked a little like a cartoon squid. She met up with him at the door.

“Bad night?” she asked, studying his face. She had her head tilted really far back to achieve this; she was over a foot shorter than him.

“Something like that.” he reached for the door just as Theo’s phone went off.

“Hang on.” she muttered, and flipped it open. “Hey, you.” she greeted, and Spencer sighed, knowing it was Chloe. “You what?” Theo asked, and glanced at Spencer, who shook his head. She listened to Chloe on the other end for a moment, then scowled. “Because he was speeding?” she asked, and Spencer threw his hands in the air and stomped halfway across the parking lot. He heard Theo say, “Well, no, I’m at Slim’s right now, but I-” she stopped, then sighed. “Yea, sure, Chloe. No problem.”

Spencer felt her hand on his arm a moment later. “Duty calls.” he said to her, and she smiled and nodded. “What’d she say?”

“That you yelled at her.” Theo said, and Spencer bit his tongue to keep from screaming. “Fill me in, quick, before I have to leave.”

“I’ll drop you off, tell you on the way.” she nodded and they got in his car. “So much for that drink.”

“I’m sorry.” Theo said, sounding upset. “Really. I know I’m blowing you off-”

“It’s fine.” he said, and she sighed. “No, I mean it. You have to go clean up my mess.”

She snorted. “So what happened?”

Spencer filled her in on the events of earlier, and when he was done, they were just pulling up in front of Chloe’s house. Theo shook her head and opened the door. “I’ll call you when I’m done here, okay?” she said, and he nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. She’s your best friend.”

Theo studied him for a moment. “If you weren’t hear to keep reminding me, I’d forget that.” she said, and then she was gone.
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Somehow, Spencer ended up sitting on Theo’s front porch, drinking beer with Mickey. It seemed fitting in a way, if a little screwed up.

“Fucking chicks.” Mickey muttered. “Why are they so damn complicated?”

Spencer shrugged one shoulder. “I think we’re just stupid, man.” he said, meaning it, and Mickey glared at him.

“Is it really so much to ask? Don’t get huge fucking purple stains all over the brand new, really expensive ceramic tile. What really gets me is the fact that she threw a fit about those tiles. She had to have those. Stupid octagonal crap.” he sighed. “I probably shouldn’t have said what I did, though. Calling her a bitch like that…” he took a drink of his beer. “I guess I over reacted a little, huh?”

“Probably.” Spencer said, and Mickey nodded.

“I’ll make it up to her.” Mickey assured him.

“You could just say you’re sorry.” Spencer suggested.

“Yea, right.” Mickey muttered. “That’s funny, Spencer.” he stretched his arms above his head, his shoulders popping audibly. “Still, at least she’s not as bad as Chloe. I don’t know how you put up with her shit.”

Spencer bit his lip to keep from going off on Mickey. He didn’t know if he wanted to ask him how Theo managed to put up with his shit, or simply to go fuck himself. When he didn’t say anything at all, Mickey clapped him on the back and said, “Well, she’s got to be good in bed or something, right?”

“Sure.” Spencer said, and Mickey laughed. “Where is Theo, anyway?” he asked, sounding merely curious, even though he knew exactly where she was.

Mickey shrugged. “Dunno. Said she was just going out for a while. Probably at Chloe’s, if you two fought.” Spencer nodded his head. “Why do you ask?”

Spencer shrugged and drank his beer. They sat in silence for a while. Finally, Spencer said, “You know, I think I’ll go talk to Chloe.” he didn’t want to, but he knew the longer this went on, the worse it was going to get. Theo had a way of calming Chloe down that Spencer didn’t understand. He stood up.

“Pussy.” Mickey said, and stood as well. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Spencer got in his car and drove back to Chloe’s, for the fourth time tonight. Both girls were sitting on the front porch, drinking beer, and for a moment Spencer had to fight down hysterical laughter. After he was calm again, he got out of the car and walked up to the porch.

“Hey.” he greeted, to neither of the girls specifically.

Theo gave him a confusing look and stood up. “I should get home.” she kissed Chloe’s forehead and gave Spencer another odd look before disappearing into the dark between Chloe’s house and the one next door. Spencer knew she would jump the back fence and take a short cut home. He stared at the spot where she’d disappeared for a long time before he finally turned back to Chloe.

“I’m sorry.” she told him when she had his attention. “I was just having a bad day. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“I’m sorry, too.” he said, although he wasn’t sure he meant it. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” he let Chloe hug him, and after a moment, he hugged her back. “Are we okay?” he asked her.

“Yes.” she said. “If you stay over tonight.”

He wanted to say no. He wanted to feign tiredness, to claim he had things to do in the morning. But he knew it would start another fight, one that would inevitably lead to her accusing him of no longer being attracted to her.

So he let her take him upstairs. He kissed her when her mouth touched his, undressed her, let her undress him. He let her pull him into bed with her. He did all the things that pleased her with his mouth and his hands, and when he slipped between her parted thighs and pushed into her, her whispered, “I love you.” made him feel both sick and guilty.

When she was asleep, he laid beside her and checked his cell phone. There was a new text message. He opened it and read.

FROM: Theo
You owe me a beer.

He half smiled. She was probably still awake. He imagined she was curled up on the couch in the basement, a book and a glass full of whiskey and her phone. He imagined she was waiting for a reply to him. It made him feel important to believe that.

He replied.

TO: Theo
You ok?

A moment later he got something back.

FROM: Theo
Dumbest. Question. Ever.

He slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Chloe, and went downstairs. He sat on the couch and dialed Theo’s number. She answered immediately.

“I can come over.” he said in greeting. “I can come get you.”

“No you can’t.” she said. “Chloe would pitch a fucking fit if she woke up.”

“Who cares.”

“I do. I just fixed one problem for you, don’t make another one.”

“Come on. We’ll drive out to the beach.”

“It’s winter.”

“So?”

She laughed. “Another time, Spencer.” she said.

They were both silent for a moment. “Hey Theo?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are we doing this to ourselves?”

She laughed again. “Do you really think you deserve better?”

He thought about this. “No.” he said finally. “I guess I don’t.”

“Neither do I.” she sighed. “Besides, I love him.”

He heard something in her voice that he didn’t like. “Do you?” he asked her. “Do you really?”

She was quiet for a long time. “I don’t know.” she said finally. “I can’t remember.”

“I’m sorry.” he told her.

“Me too.”

“It’s because you’re scared, isn’t it?” he asked her, and she made a strange hissing sound. “You don’t want to be alone.”

“Maybe.” she said quietly. “Maybe I’m hoping he can change. Maybe I’m waiting for the old Mickey to come back.”

“Maybe you’re delusional.”

“No more than you.”

“Does this make us bad people?” he asked. “Thinking so little of our best friends?”

She made a snorting sound, and he imagined her rolling her eyes. “I’m a bad person, Spencer, but its not because I think so little of the way Chloe treats you. You’re just confused.”

He didn’t know what she meant by this, but before he could ask her, she said good night and hung up.

He went back upstairs and got into bed with Chloe again, who was snoring softly. He didn’t sleep at all.
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So. Some on Mickey and Chloe here. No, neither one of them are likable, and yes, Chloe's sort of out of her mind.

Reviews, please?