Shigeru's Predicament

Chapter 2: Ladder to heaven

Warnings:
M/M, sexual situations between an adult and a minor, oral, frot

The next morning was really awkward.

Kiyoshi wouldn’t look at me and didn’t say anything outside of the normal “Morning”, “Pass me the salt, please” or some shit. I think I ruined our easy-going relationship we had until now. And it’s only my fault. He is some kid, he is curious. Of course he would like to see some porn. And I had to go and tease him about it. As I stared at my coffee cup a self-conscious voice whispered from across the table.
“Are you still mad at me?”
I frowned and looked at him confused. Why should I be mad at him? He had every right to be mad at ME. And there he was, asking me if I was mad. I really didn’t know what’s in his head sometimes. So openly curious I asked:” Why should I be mad at you?”
He tapped the corners of his mouth with a napkin, even though there wasn’t even a crumb from his toast, and relaxed a little in his seat.
“Because I said some awful things”, Kiyoshi said and he looked seriously down, that look you got when you see a dead cat that was ran over by some sicko who doesn’t give a shit about a animal-life. I wanted to come to him and reassure him, that everything is okay. But I didn’t think that would be the best way to approach the whole ordeal. And then it struck me.
He thought that I was mad at him, when I sent him to bed! Oh god, I just couldn’t say “Hey, if you don’t mind I have to get off because you just said something really sexy and I don’t think I can hold it off when you’re near me!”
Yeah that would be the smooth way out. Anyway.
I just had to get this heavy atmosphere away and I wanted my funny little Kiyoshi back, because if he was down like that the whole week, I thought I was going to commit suicide.
So I laughed a bit, and watched as his sad face went away to be replaced by a scowl.
“Don’t tell me you thought I was mad at you. I was just teasing you and you’re teasing me. So, no harm done, at all. And really, that wasn’t the worst thing someone said to me”
Okay, I really hadn’t to add that last part, because his look was stuck between relieved and curious.

The rest of our breakfast we remained in light conversation, about what we’re going to do this week. We cleaned the table and sat in front of the TV to play with one of his game consoles. I’d never had much interest in such things, but since I knew Kiyoshi I got fairly good in playing these kinds of games and I loved to see him so determined to win every time we played. So he started some anime-style kill-everything-with-your-big-ass-sword game that had co-op mode.
We just concentrated on the task at hand, and I was really getting into it, as he asked, without even slowing his character (a girl that had some big boobs and a skimpy dress) in his killing spree.
“Did you jerk off when I got into bed?”
A big “YOU’RE DEAD” flashed from the screen, and the instruction that Player 2 could join the game by pressing the “Start”-button. I spluttered some nonsense, I wasn’t even aware off and looked at him with a haunted look. I took a deep breath and calmed down a bit.
“You did go to bed after I said you should, did you?”
He nodded and looked at me after he died as well and that curious look, that wouldn’t fall off since breakfast was there in full force.
I really didn’t know if he was playing innocent or if he was just plain curious, but I couldn’t just brush it off. I allowed too much by letting him watch porn with me, it would be unfair to say that everything wasn’t his concern. That would be just the way every adult approaches subjects like these.
But I doubted this rich-posh-stuck-up family would sit and explain the great world of sex to their little well-behaved son. And if he wouldn’t ask me, he would gain his education from porn, because there wouldn’t be anyone he could ask.
I don’t think that would be the better solution. So I just would give away my insanity and would talk to him about that.
So we would’ve it out of our system and I could live in my happy, little world where the not so innocent, happy, little Kiyoshi lived in. Okay that was weird.
I turned off the game console and the TV and turned to him.

“Kiyoshi, I just wanted you to know, that you can ask me anything you want. I know it’s very exciting and somewhat confusing with all this stuff about sex. And especially when you’re about to find out, that you like things that other people don’t like, or even want to know of”
I did sound like some sex-ed teacher or some priest, but I think it’s the best to leave it as open as possible, so that he can choose the direction in where this talk should go.
He looked at me with a thoughtful face, and when he put away his controller and sat back on the sofa I know I was in for a serious sex talk.
He gnawed his lower lip and I just looked calmly at him. Not pushing, not expecting. This should go at his pace, not some forced anatomy lesson, like in school. Did they even teach sex-ed in that rich school?
“Why is it considered bad to look at pornography?”
This stuck-up language of this family used to annoy me, but in this kind of talk it’s useful, because it isn’t so awkward, when the other has somewhat of a mature mind.

“Well, good question. I, speaking for myself, don’t think there is anything wrong with it, because the people in this pictures or movies do this by choice, and they get paid, so I don’t know where the problem lies. But I think that other people who are less open in such things don’t find the idea appealing of watching some people fucking. I think they have the same issues as men who look at straight porn and say ‘I’m 100 % straight, it’s normal to watch some guy’s cock pushing in and out of a pussy and getting off on it’”
Kiyoshi’s cheeks darkened at the last part a bit, but he was listening intently.
“You see, there are not really problems with the porn itself, but with the people who look at it, or don’t look at it. So it’s perfectly normal to look at porn and even to get off on it.”
He looked thoughtful a minute and then cleared his throat.
“So it’s the same with being, uhm, gay? Are you gay?”

This question threw me a little off, but maybe he just wanted to know to reassure himself that it’s okay to be gay. He trusted me, I thought it would comfort him in knowing that a trusted person is like him. Or something.
“I think so. But with being gay are a bit more issues connected than in watching porn. But I don’t consider myself as gay. I just don’t care who my partner is, as long as it’s fun”
As predicted, he looked confused and frowned at me. Or he was thinking. I didn’t know.
“I heard about men being pursued for being gay. Why is that? I mean, as long as they don’t do anyone harm, why do people do something like that?”
At that I had to think about it myself. I’d never had a problem with being with men. It didn’t make a difference to me. Human is human. So I just shrugged and looked at him with a lost look.
“I really don’t know what to say to something like this. But I think it is better to not talk about your sexuality, or rather interest to anyone you won’t get involved with. Uhm. I mean in a sexual sense.”
He smirked a bit and said in a teasing tone.
“Do you want to get involved with me in a “sexual sense” or why do we talk about this?”

I looked dumbfounded. This little, sneaky shit. Looking and acting all innocent and then he was saying something like this. It was time to turn the tables. He threw me off enough. Now it’s my time to be all sneaky.
I smirked at him and gave him my “sexy-look” and leaned towards his face, only to stop short before our noses could touch.
Whispering a soft “Maybe”, I let the tip of my tongue caress his cheek. Inwardly expecting a violent shove and an angry outburst in some form. For good measure, as he hadn’t reacted yet, I let out a small moan and closed my eyes.
Suddenly I felt a hand on my neck, under my long hair, and I was shoved into Kiyoshi’s face so my mouth crashed against his lips. After a moment of shock a tongue was trying to get in my mouth and I broke away to look at him flabbergasted. I shuffled away on my back, and waited for some kind of reaction.
But he only stood up and looked at me with a hurt look.

Yeah, really smooth. I was such a jerk.


A few hours later


I had a tray of cookies and two cups of cocoa and knocked hesitantly on Kiyoshi’s door.
After hearing a muffled “Come in”, after a few seconds I entered with a tentatively look.
He was lying with his earphones in the ears on his back and looked at me somewhat irritated. When I placed the tray on his desk I took the two cups and gave him one, which he took with a slight nod and then sat up.
I made myself comfortable on the floor and took the plate with the cookies on it. We were drinking and eating in silence but a cautious look was exchanged after a while. He looked seriously depressed and made no attempt to hide it. I was really guilt-ridden and it took me every bit of willpower that I had to look into his face.
He was waiting for something, so he just stared at me, while he was eating. And I, supposedly the grown-up here, didn’t have the balls to just say something.
I put my now empty cup and the empty plate back on the tray and sat on the same spot as before.
“Kiyoshi..”, I began but was immediately interrupted by him as he grabbed the collar of my shirt and looked more than livid into my eyes.
“You said, you don’t care who you’re partner is, but you couldn’t even kiss me?”, he all but hissed.
I just blinked. So, that wasn’t in my mind as I saw him depart a few hours ago. I thought he is mad at me for trying something he didn’t want to. I was seriously off with my intuition when it came to Kiyoshi. I gently took his hands from my collar away and took a deep breath.
“I didn’t want you to have false hopes or stir something in you, that is born from sheer curiosity. Kiyoshi, to me you’re just a kid and..”
Well, that was certainly a way to shut me up. And my cheek stung pretty much. Like a goddamn woman. ‘I don’t like what you’re saying so I’m gonna slap you’re face’.
I sighed exasperatedly and stood up. He hadn’t even registered what he was doing because he looked shocked at his hand.

But I was never ever in my life so on the brink to just crush that cute little face with my knuckles. He doesn’t want to be a kid? Then he should deal with the consequences.

I was by no means a man who gets off on beating small children or woman or something. But my patience isn’t infinite. Kiyoshi looks frightened as I stood with 6’2’’ a few heads bigger than he was in front of him and grabbed his collar.
My long hair hung partially in my face and I knew I must look very scary for someone like him. But I wanted him this way. There was just a line that was crossed, that I couldn’t just ignore.
I pushed him against the wall and bowed down to look him directly in the face. His eyes were wide his lips were shaking.
“You want to be seen as a grown-up? Treated as a grown-up? Should I show you what grown-ups do with another? Without any care for the other at all, because they’re so engrossed with their own life? Did you ever ask you why I sit here nearly every fucking week to clean your posh-stuck-up ass? HUH?”
He just shook his head and he was on the brink of hyperventilating.
“Because I get money for all this. And not because I love you or some bullshit. So get your fucking nose out of the clouds and get the world to know. Not everyone is going to lay everything to your feet. Work for it or leave it. But don’t think because you’re pouting that everyone is going to lick your god damn golden boots.”

There were a few seconds were nothing happened but suddenly Kiyoshi began to sob and I didn’t know why, but I just looked on his crotch and I knew why he was suddenly crying.
He wetted himself.
In his own pants.
I thought I overdid it just then.

Something broke in me and I crushed him on my chest in a hug and apologized desperately. A few tears ran down my cheeks and I kissed his face all over and apologized over and over.
His face was red and he had snot and tears everywhere. And I thought I could never be happy in my life if I would see this expression on this face again.
I didn’t know what possessed me, but it wasn’t an everyday situation that a 13-year-old pissed in his own pants, but I lifted him up and went to the bathroom. I filled the bathtub with water and undressed him and myself and got with him in the warm water.

This was the first time that I thought that this big bathtub is good for something. I sat him, with his back to me, in front of me and washed his back, his hair and than hugged him. His sobs died away after half an hour, but I didn’t let him go. I knew when his mind cleared he was going to beat me in a pulp, and I would let him. Or worse, he wouldn’t let me touch him anymore. And I didn’t think that would make this whole week easy.
In hope of some response I murmured “I’m so sorry, Kiyoshi, please forgive me. I didn’t know what came over me. I never wanted to hurt you and say such cruel things. I was so upset I wasn’t in my right mind.”
As he touched my arm with his hand, I dreaded that he would want me to leave him and a sob escaped my lips and a few tears ran down my face. But he just stroked my arm gently and relieve flooded through my whole body. We sat in the bathtub just like that until the water got cold.
Kiyoshi shivered as he got out of the water. And I watched, fascinated at his behind and looked away as I reminded myself that he is just a child. He turned around with two towels in his hand and I got to see his crotch for the first time in my life. I was a little surprised that he was indeed a “man” down there, despite his small body. With pubic hair and all.
He waggled one towel in front of my face and I got red when I saw his confident face that confirmed that I was really staring to long.

I opened the plug hole and stood up after taking the towel. While I hadn’t washed my hair they got fairly wet, because of their length so I rubbed them dry standing there in all my glory, and watched from underneath the towel as Kiyoshi focused on my dick. I was somewhat curious if he would say something. But I wouldn’t want to push it. Not after this whole thing.
So I put the towel around my waist.
“Why did you shave it?”
At first it didn’t occur to me that he was talking about my pubic hair but than I thought about the time as I was his age and I was very proud of my growing bush down there. But I hadn’t had any sex at that time, so it didn’t matter.
Then I had an idea. I took a strand of my hair and put it on my hand.
“Touch it with your lips”. He frowned but did as he was told. Then I took the strand off and offered in my hand without the hair. He did touch the smooth skin and looked confused at me.
“Now think about which one felt better?”
It didn’t take very long and it was worth it as he blushed several shades of red down to his shoulders and I sauntered past him through the bathroom door.

The next two days were filled with polite talks and cautious looks. We didn’t even touch each other where it wasn’t even meant in any way than unintentional.
But than I made a bad mistake, just to be some cool “babysitter”. I have a high tolerance on alcohol so I didn’t even think about people who react way stronger to some alcohol.
So I drank some sweet wine after a good dinner while we were watching some anime, he wanted to see.
I relaxed and was watching the movie, that had, a little too much gore and too few boobs to be interesting, but the storyline was kind of intriguing. But Kiyoshi found something other intriguing.
“How does it taste?”
I looked in his direction and held the glass in front of his face. Without even smelling he took a sip and licked his lips.
“That doesn’t taste too bad. It’s really sweet. I always thought alcohol is bitter or sour. Can I drink it?” He looked at me with a somewhat pleading look and I laughed slightly.
”I don’t mind, as long as you don’t tell anyone.”
I got up to fetch me a new wine glass and we looked at the movie in silence until the bottle of wine was empty. Only a little tipsy I took another bottle of the wine and opened it up.
I poured Kiyoshi his second glass and he was drinking it slower than the first glass.

After a while he scooted over and leaned against my side. Playing with his hair I thought nothing about it, because we we’re cuddling often when we’re looking movies.
I’d never prevented it, because I knew his family wasn’t the cuddly type and he is pretty affection-starved.
My hand trailed down to his neck and I stroked him there with my back of my hand. My attention suffered after the fifth glass of wine and I hadn’t realized his little whimper, so I just caressed his neck further until the movie ended and I wanted to get up to look for another DVD.
As soon as I took my hand away, he grabbed my wrist and looked up to me.
“You don’t want to watch another one?”
Kiyoshi just shook his head and looked at me with glazed and somewhat pleading eyes. That was strange, because I didn’t think the movie was that sad, or I’d said something that would leave him like that.

So I sat back and looked at him quizzically as he let go of my wrist and crawled over to until he was on my lap. At that moment I thought I had too much alcohol because my brain shut down completely as he took my face in his hands and looked directly into my eyes.
“I don’t care if you like me or not. But, please, please never leave me.”

His voice was hoarse as though he would cry any moment. And I hate it when I’m right because there were tears running down his face.
He just looked at me with his tearstained face without making any sound but I thought I could hear my own heart thumping in my ears. I licked my suddenly dry lips and his eyes focused instantly on my lips. That was the first time in my life I just couldn’t comprehend what was happening to me, and I was certainly not that drunk like on other occasions.
So I just hugged him tightly and crushed my mouth against his and as soon as our lips collided our tongues were entwined.
I realized that he hadn’t any experience in that department, but he was sure a fast-learner and after a few minutes I let him dominate the kiss and just felt. He sucked passionately on my tongue and rubbed his whole body against mine and I thought I just found the ladder to heaven, because I sure wasn’t in hell anymore.
The kiss tasted like sweet wine and a little hint of the dinner and my nose was invaded of his smell. I’d never thought that shampoo could smell so erotic.
Kiyoshi’s hands went through my hair and he was massaging my scalp and I just had to moan because I couldn’t stand this onslaught of sensations anymore. He just got more fervent and I began to rub my hopelessly hard dick under my pants against his crotch. Now it was his time to moan, because he had an equally hard dick and our colliding cocks threw him completely off.
In favour of humping me he stopped kissing and pressed his face against my neck as his hip-movements grew more desperate.
My head fell back as I felt his mouth on my neck, and as soon as he was biting and sucking on my flesh I groaned loudly and pressed his hips stronger against my dick. He was shaking all over and my hand snaked under his shirt to claw his back to keep all the sensations in check.
I thought he was biting a chunk out of my neck as he all of a sudden stiffened like a board and then with a loud moan and a sob he very likely came into his pants. My orgasm wasn’t too far behind and I held him strongly against me as I exhaled sharply and came into my own pants.
I turned my face to the side to kiss all I could reach from his face.
He smiled sweetly and a few moments after that we fell asleep as we were.

At 4 in the morning I woke up because my back was killing me. Kiyoshi was draped over me and my shoulder felt really cold and sticky because he seemed to have a serious problem with drooling in his sleep. It wasn’t nice but I could ignore it. But the mess in my pants was hard to ignore and it smelled like sperm everywhere.
I nudged Kiyoshi until one of his eyes opened and he looked at me groggily.
“Whattimeisit”, he murmured and I stood up when he sat back on the sofa.
“4 am. I’m going to shower. You should go, too. Whether you’re going to sleep again or stay awake.”
He rubbed his eyes and nodded slightly. I stretched my body as I went in the direction of the bathroom.
After turning the shower on I undressed, and got under the hot water. While I was washing my hair I heard the bathroom door open and close and some rustling of clothes.
As he entered the shower stall I tried to gather my thoughts.

I knew he was just a kid, but I didn’t take advantage of him. That was all his idea. I haven’t done anything. But isn’t it my fault, that he did have such thoughts about me? Did he think I wanted him, because I allowed him to look at porn with me?
Or did I feel guilty because I was the reason he wetted himself and I couldn’t stand to see that face again? I should have stopped him yesterday evening. It wouldn’t do for any of us to do something like that. Did he even want more than that?
Maybe he was just curious and I was the pervert here in hope of something more from him. But is he really a kid anymore with that kind of sex drive? Is it really that bad that I did that with him or some other kid, that didn’t have any idea of what he or she was doing. Or worse: some other pervert like me who would just fuck him and dump him.

Kiyoshi pushed me a little on the side so he could get under the water.
“You shouldn’t think so much. Because it looks like it really hurts”

Yep, I was going to fuck this little smart ass through hell and back. My hands found their way into his hair and I was sucking and biting on his lips until he was panting and moaning like some bitch in heat. I released his face and looked into his eyes.
“All of these things I was doing, and maybe, when you’re a nice little boy, going to do with you, are just for me and my fun. If you’re going to think I love you or you get the strange idea of demanding anything from me, I’m going to fuck you so hard, that you wouldn’t even think of fucking until your next life. Understood?”
Kiyoshi’s eyes were half lidded and he shivered. But not in that kind of way he was shivering as he pissed himself. He closed his eyes and exhaled softly and I couldn’t stop looking at his small body and his hard cock. I’d never seen such a nice cock, even if it isn’t full grown yet.
I pressed him against the shower wall and turned the water off.
My eyes never left his as I knelt down in front of him, so that my face was on the same level as his dick.
His eyes widened startled as I licked the tip of his cock and he whimpered slightly. Normally I would look up into a face of an adult and it was really strange to see such a girly boy face from this kind of angle and with a dick on my tongue. But it was somehow more erotic to see the face of someone who didn’t know what to expect from a blowjob and I had the feeling that he wouldn’t last at all, so I wanted to savour his bliss-filled face for as long as it was there.
It’s good that all the water washed the old cum away, because that wouldn’t be such a good taste to enjoy a cock that never had that kind of attention before.
I sucked on his foreskin and slowly encircled his glans with the tip of my tongue. Kiyoshi held his breath and he looked like he was dying. The good kind of dying, of course.

After gathering some spit in my mouth I swallowed his length in one go. There was no way I couldn’t held my eyes open anymore and I just began to hum and to suck on his dick like there was no tomorrow.
Kiyoshi however grabbed my hair and was gasping for breath. He shoved my face all the way over his dick and I let him guide my head and just concentrated on sucking.
Even though he was nearly in my throat (I was really glad his cock wasn’t that long) HE sounded like he was going to choke.
This wasn’t the first time my face was thoroughly fucked, but he sure was the first guy who didn’t have any mercy with me. He wasn’t one of those shy virgins. Far from it. He took what he could take and I was fully enjoying it.
In retrospect I wouldn’t have a good conscience if he weren’t like that. Because I felt like he was taking advantage of me and not the other way round. So I’d never felt any guilt as long as I only offered and never used force.
With a sustained moan he held my head with both of his hands and pressed my face right into his stomach. And then he was cumming. I thought I would suffocate because my nose was flat against his skin and my throat was sealed because of his cock but I tried to contain my panic and just let it happen until he was finished.
As he finally let my head go I was scrambling backwards and was panting to get some air in my lungs back. I coughed some of his cum up because I hadn’t even a chance to swallow it all.
His mixed look of terror and satiation was very entertaining and I was sure I would’ve laughed if I had enough air to laugh so I just grinned in his direction while I was gasping a little bit.

Kiyoshi looked self-conscious away and I just stood up and rolled my eyes. I kissed his forehead and turned the shower back on to wash my hair and body once more and than exited the stall so he could finish to wash up.

“I’m going to sleep. You should sleep in, little one. Sleep well.”

At that I went to the guest room to get some highly needed sleep.