Dead Seeds

It was yet another long day for my poor feet. You would think after a year of constant standing I would learn to wear more comfortable shoes. Obviously not. Maybe some loafers would be a nice change, then again I did do a lot of walking and in rain loafers didn’t fair so well. Maybe my wedges would get more comfy as I broke them in. Maybe not. I was on my way home anyway.

I was a misuse during the wee hours of the day working at the Gene Juarez salon in down town San Jose. It’s a nice job, pays well and gives good tips. Tonight was my co-worker Erica’s 21st birthday party at Vandez’s place on 3rd. It was a club built strictly on the grounds of people being wasted upon leaving. I had managed to get in with the massive group of girls ID check free. Don’t ask me how, I was only 20, but it worked. Thank god I was the designated driver. I didn’t want to get carded and kicked out because the girls wanted me to get drunk. Funny thing is they all ended up calling a cab, leaving me to walk back to my car alone and cold. Late spring still requires a jacket after dark. California is fickle like that and smart me was just sporting a pair of leather shorts and halter top, with a pair of boots of course. It wasn’t considered proper to wear anything more in the group I had gone with. I was considered conservative in my choice of clothing by just about everyone tonight.

I glanced behind me as I continued down the side walk towards the parking lot containing my car. It was a quite night and I was alone. A year ago on a night like this someone had tried to mug me. He didn’t succeed, seeing as how I knew Judo and a few other tricks and he hadn’t even pulled a knife on me, but I still didn’t like being alone. Just because you got mugged once doesn’t mean you can’t get mugged again. At least I wasn’t in San Francisco. I hear it’s really bad over there…

“Renee!” I jumped and whirled around looking for the person who had called my name, hands up to guard my face incase something took a swing at me.

“Renee! Pick up your phone! Pick up your phone you ninny!” I let the tension slide away from my body as I realized it was my phone ringing. It was Erica on the other line. I had forgotten she put a personalized ring tone for her ring. Shaking out my arms I fished the small cell phone from my pocket and slid it open. Yep, it was Erica alright.

“Hey there, aren’t you supposed to have passed out in the taxi cab?” I answered with a humorous smirk as I turned and headed for the parking lot again.

“Can you call work for me?” I quirked an eyebrow as she slurred into the phone. Oh boy was she ever wasted.

“It’s past mid night, I’m sure they aren’t open.” I answered trying to not laugh at her drunken state in the process.

“I mean in the morn’. I’m not goin’ ta work…” There was a shuffle in the speaker, then a rough thump. “In the mornin’…” I rolled my eyes as giggles bubbled up from the background. She had taken a cab with a few other people from work. I wasn’t going to name names, let’s just say I knew who was going to be at work in the morning and who wasn’t.

“Alright, you get to bed and take some aspirin.” I sighed and shook my head as I rounded the corner of the parking lot. It was pretty much a really wide alley with a few parallel parking spots lining the building. In the spot furthest down the alley my little car sat looking shiny and new like I had bought it just yesterday. You could say I did buy it yesterday. Did I forget to mention my adoptive father is a dealership owner? Well, now you know. He likes to dote on his only daughter, even if I’m adopted. Let’s just say figuratively that I was a spoiled little princess before mommy and daddy came along to spoil me some more.

“Sure thing, boss.” I sighed as the phone clicked off leaving me to the silence of the alley as I came up too my car. Turning over my cell phone in my hand I used the light from the screen to avoid the drying puddles on the ground. As painful as they may be my shoes were too cute to get dirty. Flipping my keys from my pocket I beeped my car unlocked and quickly hopped over a puddle to the door. It was a bit of a drive to my place out in the boonies, but it was worth it. Seclusion from the world was better then having it shoved down your throat my neighbors, plus I was right next door to my little sister. Yes, you heard me, my little sister lives next door with her adoptive parents. Though technically she lives a mile away. That’s how far out in the fields I was. I had managed to keep track of her thanks too a few tricks I had learned in what I considered to be a past life. A world so different from this one that it almost seemed to be a dream that lasted twelve years, a world where the demons of the night roamed all hours of the day and lived like humans in a time frozen by their own will to preserve what peace there once was… Yeah, I was never going back there.

Starting the engine the car purred to life sending vibrations through the seat and up my back like some massage I hadn’t expected. New cars always surprised me, especially ones with big engines. I normally drove a little Mazda that my daddy bought me a few years ago. This thing, whatever it was had a lot more kick in it. I often lurched forwards at stop signs and traffic lights and speeding was a bit of a problem. Good thing I hadn’t been caught yet.

Pulling out onto the main streets I headed for home. It was an empty night which made sense seeing as how it was nearly one in the morning. I only passed a few cars as I flew down the fast lane on Vine Grove highway. One was like that forbidden time of night when you knew nearly everyone was snuggled up in the sheets of their beds. It was also the most dangerous time of night to be out alone. Good thing my car was far enough off the ground to run someone over if I had too. Hey, I was still a girl, I didn’t want to beat people up unless I had too or it was for a prize.

A few songs blaring out of the speakers and I was drifting across the last stretch home. I slowed down as I came to cross the driveway leading up to my little sister’s house. It was a long and dark shot back to the porch lights in the distance shadowed by trees and protected by sticker bushes. Unless you were the size of a rabbit you weren’t going to getting down to that house in any other way besides the driveway. I stared down that long passage until my eyes started to see things in the shadows and eased my car forward.

“Renee!” I hit the breaks and looked around for the source of my name. Something slammed into my side window making me half throw my body into the passenger seat. Clinging to the arm rest I gaped at the side window and nearly started laughing at myself. It was my little sister standing there making a face against the window. Her chubby little cheek was pressed into the window making her eyes squint up and look somewhat melted. Her little hands pressed against the window as she pulled away and laughed lightly. I rolled my eyes playfully and sat back up in my seat. Pulling the emergency break I unbuckled myself and turned to open the door. She backed away from the door so I wouldn’t hit her and I stepped out into the night air. This road wasn’t widely used, so I wasn’t too worried about someone coming up behind me.

“What are you doing out at this late hour?” I asked as I knelt down to her eye level. She laughed that adorable laugh I loved and twisted back and fourth on her heels.

“Exploring. Mommy is playing poker with Daddy again.” I almost shook my head and sighed, but held my breath and smiled. This happened all too often. She was still too young to know what actual poker was, so I had told her poker was a shouting game. Basically, her adoptive parents were having a fight. Again. It was the second time this week.

“Do you want to sleep over at my place tonight? I’m sure Mommy would be okay with that.” I offered as I offered my hands to her. Truthfully I often took her home with me. I always came home late and about two or three times a week I would find her sitting on my porch like a bundle of mail. It was no way for a child to live her life, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I was too young to adopt her and I wasn’t really qualified for child care, being single and all. Child Care Services frown upon single twenty year-olds taking care of children. It’s against their code or something. In the mean time I could play parent while her adoptive ones spat over something stupid.

“Really?” Her voice squeaked as a large grin plastered itself over her face. I nodded and scooped her up in my arms. A high pitched giggle came from her as I tickled her belly and walked with her in my arms to the other side of the car. She laughed the entire way until I stopped to open the car door. Turning her around I bent over and placed her in the seat she was still giggling as I closed the door leaving her to buckle up while I went back to the driver side door. She was too short for a normal seat belt, but I didn’t have a booster seat so this would have to do.

Quickly sliding into my seat I too buckled in and closed the door. I glanced over to Alli as she draped herself over the arm rest and clicked the buttons on the dash to change the song on the CD. I usually drove in silence, made it easier to hear the purr of the engine, but Alli liked noise. She loved to sing just like our mother did. I on the other hand had no talent what so ever in the subject of music. I could dance, but other than that I was terrible. Letting the emergency break down I gently started on the gas and we lurched forward. Alli jerked with the motion then laughed and sat back in her seat.

“Do it again!” She laughed and gripped the seat belt in her hands, waiting for me to let the car lurch again. I shook my head and pressed down on the gas again. The car jumped and Alli squeaked with excitement as we flew down the empty road towards the house I had only recently learned to call home.

My house wasn’t all it seemed to be from the outside, due to my lack of being home to take care of the plants every weekend, but it really was worth every penny my dad put into it. I was a very spoiled child. My parents were big time lawyers working in the next state over. They had recently moved there and bought me a new house here so I could keep my job. Their reason was that finding a new job would be too stressful, but I pretty much just made them think that was the reason with a little bit of convincing. I really wanted to stay here for Alli. I wasn’t going to leave her alone with un attentive parents. What would I do if I ever lost track of her?

“We’re almost there, squirt.” I said as I eased around the turn into my drive way and crawled up the long stretch. My house stood out like a mountain in Texas against the trees in the back ground. I had left the lights on all day so every plain of the outer walls shined with white light against the dull grey paint. It was too dark to tell, but I knew the lawn was too tall to look good, seeing as how I hadn’t hopped onto the lawn mower in weeks.

Reaching up to the clicker on the visor I signaled the garage door to open and slowed in front of my house waiting for it to reach the top. Alli squirmed in her seat and unbuckled herself. I didn’t tell her to put it back on, but I did check that her door was locked just incase. I couldn’t have her trying to hop out when I was pulling past the door frame.

“Chill your buns, squirt. You can get out when I pull the E brake, remember?” I held in a chuckle as she pressed herself back into the seat crossing her arms over her chest and pouted like a stubborn little kid. She really wasn’t all the stubborn, but I knew she was tired and a little bit grumpy. Because of what we were it wasn’t in her nature to get sick or have mood swings. She was just tired. It was nice to know exactly what was wrong with someone. People were always so fickle, but not us. Oh no, our species was much to advanced to be sick, according to some. Okay, according to most. We’re known for our big egos.

“Can I have some warm milk?” I glanced at my sister’s small form through the corner of my eye as I pulled into the now open garage door. A light laugh passed my lips as she reared over the arm rest to press her face close to mine. It was amazing how quickly she forgot about things.

“Of course. Don’t we always?” I answered as I put the car in park and yanked on the emergency brake causing the car to jerk with the movement. Sometimes I forgot how strong I was, playing human wasn’t always easy.

“Yay!” She cheered as she hopped off her seat and bounded out of the car. I sat in my seat as she slammed the door shut and raced towards the house door. I shook my head and slid out of the car following her through the door and into the interior of my house.

My house was probably something some one would call bland, but I rather liked it. My tastes weren’t bold or frankly very colorful; if anything my tastes were bleached. White paint covered every wall in my house including the ceiling and trim like some sort of fog blinding all who walked in. The only things that stood out were the wooden chairs and coffee tables at each side of the maroon couch and rocking chair. Maroon, it was a color that would forever haunt me. That deep color, the stench of blood, the tears that trailed my cheeks… It wasn’t a pleasant memory, but one that I could still feel seeping through the sides of my boots every time I stepped into the shower.

I shook my head to rid my thoughts of the past and turned towards the kitchen where I could hear my little sister struggling to open the refrigerator door. Passing by the granite counters lining the majority of the walls in the kitchen I walked past Alli yanking the door open so she could grab the milk carton as I went for the mugs up in the cabinets.

It took me maybe ten minutes to get Alli up in bed with her Rainbow Bright pajamas on and a mug of warm milk sitting in her palms. Her bedroom was probably the only room in the house with color in it that wasn’t a bad memory from my past. Pink coated the walls in the frilly glow while the hardwood floor shimmered with the light from the bed side lamp. Her sheets were coated in shots of the Disney princesses al looking bright and happy. I always felt completely out of place in this room, but Alli’s high pitched giggles fit in perfectly with the sheets.

“The fairy princess Gretel was loved by all,” I read from the picture book in my hands as Alli cuddled against me. We were lying across her bed, her under the sheets and me on top of them. I cradled her under my arm as I held the book out over her lap and turned pages with my one free arm. This was how we spent most nights before her bed time, reading fairytales, most of which were true in some sense, and drinking hot milk till one of us fell asleep. Usually it was Alli who fell asleep first, but I’ve been known to zonk out in the middle of a sentence.

“When does the prince come in?” Alli asked, her words slurring out of her mouth. I held back a laugh and took her Mug from her lap as it started to tilt over in her lap and placed on the night stand. She was ready to be tucked in, that much I could tell for sure.

“When the princess is saved by the prince from the evil trolls.” I answered softly as I slowly pulled my arm from behind her body and pressed her back into her pillows. She yawned and rolled over under my hands snuggling into her blankets in the process as I gathered our mugs up and waited for her to stop moving. Once she had settled I pressed the light switch down and left the room, closing the door softly behind me. Sighing loudly I pressed my back into the cold wood of the door and let my head hang for a moment. Reading her those fairy tales was always so difficult. If it wasn’t for him she would be living that life. Princes and Princesses didn’t always interact like the perfect couple. Sometimes the prince decides to ruin it all and the princess runs off to save her little sister. Not that I didn’t do it to save myself too; that just happened to be the effect of saving someone close to me.

Shaking my head I pushed off the door and headed down the hallway. After all these years I still couldn’t get that night out of my head. You would think after eight years of therapy I’d be better at forgetting things that ruined my life. Then again those kinds of things weren’t supposed to go away.

Quickly shuffling down stairs I dumped the mugs in the sink and headed for the French doors leading out to the backyard. Yanking open the doors I threw them wide and lightly tapped across the wood panels of the deck. From the porch the lawn looked like a small ocean with the long blades of grass waving in the wind. It was rather odd to have a windy night, but I didn’t mind too much. It was cold outside, but this part of me was always welcoming the flowing movement that never seemed to stop.

By species I was a demon, by blood I was royalty and by sheer luck I was a mystery to everyone I left behind. Hopefully life would stay the way it was, even if it wasn’t perfect it was a few grades better than being forced to marry the man that killed our parents. He was the prince of ice, the epitome of my night mares and the one man who ever had a hold over my heart. Most nights I spent twisting in my bed crying out as my mother was bloodied and gutted before my eyes by the very sword that had sheltered me for years. Then, once in a blue moon, the memories of our time spent laughing under the willow whisked me away to the love I once held for him.

Me and my memories, it’s like one of the love hate relationships.