Drama (And some acting, too)

The show went off without a hitch. The audience lapped up Finn’s performance without a second thought. Ryan looked on with a touch of bitter resentment as audience members and teachers alike repeatedly praised Finn.



Most of the drama students knew that Keller only cast Finn as the lead in every show because he was good looking. He was a pretty okay actor, but his singing was definitely sub-par. But looking at him now, Ryan definitely couldn’t blame Keller. He had that charm and confidence of a leading man, and all of the singing talent in the world couldn’t add up to that, Ryan thought with despair.



“You were so great!” Sarah greeted him, pulling him into a giant hug. “Your solo gave me goose bumps!”



He knew she was being serious. Ryan had been fortunate enough to get a 16-bar solo in the ending number of the show, and knew that Sarah would be listening raptly the whole way through. She never failed to tell him that his voice was incredible. It was the reason she had started dating him in the first place.



Ryan knew that he probably had the best tenor voice in the whole school, but lacked that leading-man style that Finn had.



“Do you want to go to the cast party? They’re going to Chili’s,” Sarah asked him. “I was thinking we could go there for awhile and then…” she trailed off. Finn had just detached himself from his group of admirers and was heading in their direction. Her gaze flickered behind Ryan’s shoulder at him, and Ryan caught on just as Finn showed up behind him. His breath caught in his throat.



“Ryan, that was awesome, man. I wish I could sing like you,” and Finn pulled Ryan in for a quite unexpected hug.



“Thanks,” Ryan finally managed to choke out. “You were great, too.”



“Sarah,” Finn took his turn hugging her, “beautiful dancing again. So, are you guys coming to the cast party?”



Ryan had been only so-so about going to Chili’s after the show, but it now seemed to be quite a splendid idea.



“Definitely!” he cried, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. “Yeah,” he calmed himself somehow. “We’ll be there.”



“Awesome, see you there then,” Finn said, and winked at them as he walked away.



“Gay,” Sarah said, nodding.



“Shut up,” Ryan told her. But he was smiling.





“I can’t believe how funny he is,” Ryan announced to Sarah for about the eighteenth time as she drove them both home from Chili’s. “I mean, he’s just… he’s really funny. And he’s intelligent, too. That usually doesn’t happen.”



“Don’t forget that he’s freaking hot,” Sarah reminded, grinning sideways at him.



“How could I forget? He is gorgeous. God. I can’t believe he talked to me! He’s never said anything more than, ‘hey Ryan, could I borrow a piece of paper?’”



“Yeah. It’s incredible. Next he’ll be asking you to borrow a pencil… or maybe even your math book! Holy crap, this is huge!” Sarah teased.



“Shut up. I’m just happy that he noticed me for once. It feels… fantastic.”



“Yeah, I can imagine,” was all Sarah said, and she looked straight ahead without another word.



Ryan took the next minute or so to look her over. Her naturally thick, wavy hair was usually too much to manage, so she normally kept it tied into two long braided pigtails. Tonight, however, she must have felt adventurous because it wound its way around her shoulders in a wild tangle of black. It had a very Janis Joplin feel to it. She was also wearing dark eyeliner and lip gloss that made her lips puffy. She had once explained to Ryan that, on days like this when her hair couldn’t be managed and she didn’t feel like straightening it, she felt it necessary to wear makeup. “It’s my way of apologizing. ‘Sorry about the hair. Here, here’s some eyeliner to make up for it.’”



Ryan thought that she looked beautiful no matter what, but Sarah was not of the opinion that her gay best friend’s perception of beautiful was akin to the rest of the male population’s.



She looked tired, he decided. Tired… and something else. “Are you alright?” He finally asked.



“Hmm?” She seemed to snap out of a reverie of some sort. “Oh, yeah,” she smiled at him briefly, unconvincingly. “Yeah, I’m cool.”



And that was it. Ryan didn’t push it.



She dropped him off at his house, and he offered that she come inside so that they could perhaps watch Troy again and ogle at Brad Pitt for awhile.



“Nah, I’m not feeling the muscle men right now,” she said.



“We could watch Chocolat,” he suggested, putting on a coy smirk. “I know how you loves you some Irish Johnny.”



She chuckled flatly. “Yeah. Nah, I’m just not up for a movie right now. I’m pretty wiped. Give me a call tomorrow when you’re ready for school. Night.”



“Ok,” he was puzzled. “Good night.” And she drove away with a strange look on her face that Ryan couldn’t quite place.







“How was the show?” Ryan’s mom called from the living room as he came in and set his bag down.



“It went really well,” he replied. “I got a few compliments on my solo. And Finn did an amazing job tonight. He was spot on. He’s so funny. Ha. I was just remembering something he said at the cast party. He… well, I don’t remember. But it was funny. Ha.” He floundered a bit, meeting his mom’s gaze, and blushed. “I think I’ll head up to bed. It’s been a long night.”



“I don’t blame you. You look exhausted,” she said, smiling. “You should talk to Finn more. He seems like a really nice kid. And God, is he cute. If I were 30 years younger…”



“Yeah, ok. Good night, mom,” Ryan laughed, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.



“Good night, Ry.”





Ryan loved his mom more than anyone else. She was, in most ways, his best friend next to Sarah. He told her everything. Well… almost everything. There was one pretty important thing that he always omitted. But he was getting there.



He knew that she would understand. Knew that she wouldn’t mind. He could almost hear what she would say to him; “You know that I love you, and that I’m proud of you. As long as you’re happy, I’m proud of you. Nothing could ever change that.” Or something similar. She had always been a very liberal person, voting democrat and scoffing at the injustices of homophobia. She would easily slip into the PFLAG groups, he knew. But for some reason, he just couldn’t bring himself to say it.



“Mom, I’m gay.” Simple. Three words. Just do it. But he couldn’t. I’ll tell her later, he thought. Maybe tomorrow.