The Trouble with Love Is

Chapter 2
Everything Happens for a Reason

Author's Note: Same goes for this chapter as the other one and just so I won't leave you completely hanging the next chapter is called: But He's My Brother

Bethany wakes up from her bed in a cold sweat. Her alarm clock is echoing in her ears. "School again?" She groans as she throws her blanket onto the floor and stands up in her see through baby t-shirt and white cotton panties she always wears to bed. She walks to the door and slowly opens it, barely able to open her eyes. She wobbles down the hallway to the family bathroom and opens the door not hearing the shower already running inside. Her brother steps out of the shower in the nude. Neither of them move from their constant gaze. Bethany looks down a little out of curiosity.
"Enjoying the view, Bethany?"
Bethany blushes and leaves from the bathroom. She places her back against the bathroom door, suddenly noticing that the back of her shirt is drenched with sweat. She smiles, widely, to herself. "About nine and three quarters."
The bathroom door swings open and she lands hard on the ceramic, black and white tiled floor. "You can use the bathroom now." He steps over her body and begins walking down the hallway to his room next to hers. "Why are you up so early anyway? Practice doesn't start until three."
Bethany stands up from the floor after noticing how stupid she looks laying there. "School..." Is all her brain can mange to mumble out.
"It's Saturday. Why would we have a party on a school day anyway?"
Bethany shrugs still feeling the uncomfortable-ness of seeing her brother with no clothes on.
"By the way Gay called." Jesse continues his trek into his room.
"His name is Dana!"
"Same thing."
Bethany walks into the bathroom and slams the door. Jesse did not like Bethany's boyfriend Dana and he never tried to pretend he did. They have been going out almost since she was adopted. They are almost inseparable and today he is coming over. He comes over every time he calls. Bethany hurries and jumps in and out of the shower. She steps out of the bathroom cautiously with a white cotton towel wrapped around her body. Her hair is up in a tight bun with two long strands of hair from her bangs dripping down the front of her shoulders.
"Hey Bethany." Jesse calls from behind her at the top of the stairs. "Gay's here, so put on some clothes."
Bethany nods and walks into her room to her closet. "He never comes this early." She throws on a pair of baggy, grey sweatpants she stole from her brother's closet and a white t-shirt on top. She runs down the steps to see Dana standing at the door and Jesse standing directly in front of him. "Why didn't you let him inside?"
"I don't trust him." Jesse turns around to face Bethany on the stairs.
Bethany shrugs and continues down the stairs. She pulls Dana by the hand, into the kitchen. Dana is sixteen years old. He has ear-length, platinum blonde hair and green eyes that always seem to look right through Bethany. He is definitely the model type, with button down shirts that suggest he recently fell into The Gap. He has cherry red lips that are always pursed in a slight pout. His height and build pale in comparison to Jesse; only standing at six feet.
Bethany looks down at the kitchen tile and then up at Dana who is staring back at her underneath his blonde hair. He puts his hand to her cheek; still not saying a word. The air in the room is still and Bethany jumps at the slight change in air pressure. Dana leans down, slow, and Bethany closes her eyes; waiting for the kiss to come, but it never does. She opens her eyes again at the same time as Dana. Her brother's hand is in the way of Dana's lips reaching hers. His hand moves down to around Dana's neck. "Jesse-."
"What makes you think you can kiss my baby sister? Did you ask me could you kiss my baby sister? No!" Jesse's hand squeezes tighter around his neck while Dana's face turns a pale red. Jesse is drinking a glass of milk with his other hand.
Bethany kicks Jesse in the shin making Jesse drop Dana to the floor. "What the hell was that for?"
Bethany ignores him and instead tends to the half suffocated Dana on the floor. Dana is never much for words. "Are you okay?"
"There's something we need to talk about." Dana grows serious as he stands from the floor.
"What?" Bethany looks up at him again. His usually cold eyes now seemed, surprisingly sincere.
"We've been friends forever, but..." Dana looks at Jesse and then at Bethany. "I think it best that we-."
"Break up?"
"Yeah, and it's not you-."
"It's me."
"Exactly. I hope we can still-."
"Be friends."
"Yes." Dana lowers his gaze and moves to walk out of the room.
Bethany grabs his wrist and turns him around to face her. "What's wrong with you! You're just going to throw away three years of friendship and for what? Some stupid boy reason!"
"We both need our space. We're always together. We're still young. We need time to test other relationships, with other people." Dana still does not meet her gaze. Inside his eyes are quivering. "Girls like you don't go with guys like me; we're too different. In the end, you'll see it's for the best. I just don't feel that way about you anymore."
Bethany bites her lower lip until a tickle of crimson blood shows. "You're lying! Look at you, you're shaking."
Dana leans in and kisses the blood away from her lip. "Goodbye Bethany. “He finally gets to the kitchen door and this time Bethany does not stop him from going through.
"Are you cool Bethany? You know, Gay...Dana isn't worth you getting upset over. Everything happens for a reason. He's right, you're better off without him."
Bethany, however, is not listening to the empty words of her older brother. She does not say a word. She walks out of the kitchen and slowly up the stairs, ignoring the cries of her worried brother behind her. She goes into her room and does the only thing she can think of to cope with the pain. She puts in her favorite band Evanescence's CD and cranks up the volume singing along, full-blast, to track eight, Taking Over Me:
You don't remember me, but I remember you.
I lie awake and try so hard, not to think of you.
But who can decide what the dream? And dream I do...

I believe in you! I'll give up everything just to find you!
I have to be with you! To live! To breathe!
You're taking over me!

Have you forgotten all I know and all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand.
I knew you loved me then!

I believe in you! I'll give up everything just to find you!
I have to be with you! To live! To breathe!
You're taking over me!

I look in the mirror and see your face!
If I look deep enough
So many things inside that are just like you...
Are taking over!
With the last lyric of the song Bethany can feel her picking up her lamp beside her bed and throwing it into the window, shattering it into a million crystal pieces. She slides her back down the closed door of her bedroom, wanting to cry so desperately, but not knowing if she has the ability to feel the emotion that causes tears anymore. The anger builds again resulting in the full length mirror behind her door dropping. She does not want to look at the face that cost her everything any longer.
Her sorrow soon turns to anger, again, as she hears the next track start, My Last Breath, and as she flings her side table dresser into her closet she thinks of everything she gave up to be with him; everything that he threw away. She begins to sing, this time screaming it at the top of her lungs:
Hold on to me love, you know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid.
Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath, safe inside myself!
Are all my thoughts of you?
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight!
Her anger quickly turns to helplessness as she looks for anything in the room to take away the pain from her heart; if even for a little while. She turns to a shard of clear glass on the floor. She takes the shard in her hand and digs the sharp end deeply into the skin of her right wrist vertically. As she begins another line next to the already gushing one, she thinks of all the reasons she's doing this. Her birth family does not want her, her adopted family thinks she is ugly and does not want her, no one bothers listening to how she feels for even a moment, no one cares if she's lives or dies, nothing matters anymore. She wants to finally let all of that go and get it out of her system. As long as the glass keeps cutting she does not have think about anything else...
Suddenly two arms wrap around her through the blaring of the music and in between the cutting. The arms take the glass shard from her and throws it down and away. She can hear Evanescence's Whisper in the back of her head, halfway through the beginning, she begins to sing along faintly:
I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away. If I will it all away!

Don't turn away! (Don't give into the pain.)
Don't try to hide! (Though they're screaming your name.)
Don't close your eyes! (God knows what lies behind them.)
Don't turn out the light! (Never sleep, never die.)
She feels her weight lift into the air and her mahogany red regret begin to slowly pour onto the carpet; soaking through it. It's now she realizes that her salty tears are mixing in with the blood, in a way making it thicker as it mixes in mid-air, after trailing down her arm. Everything fades to black until all she can hear is the voice of her brother whispering okay's in her ear.
***
Bethany opens her sleep filled eyes. She can feel a cotton bandage secured tightly around her wrist. As she opens her eyes and they adjust gradually to the lamp light she can make out a blurry silhouette sitting beside her. She turns her head and realizes she is lying in Jesse's room and that he is sitting beside her holding her hand in his. "Jesse?" She says faintly, sitting up against the head board and suddenly remembering everything that has happened. "How long have I been-?"
"We have practice in three hours. I was going to let you sleep."
"Where's dad? You didn't tell him-?"
"Nah. I cleaned up your room, but that doesn't matter because he phoned and said he's going on this big opportunity business trip, that suddenly popped up. He'll be gone for a few days."
"You mean he has a new secretary and he wants them to get to know each other better."
"Exactly. Do you want to talk-."
"No. I should get up anyway. Since practice is gonna be soon."
"Yeah."
"Why do I take so much shit from people?"
"Psychologically, you're probably just clinging to the closet person you can find because you so desperately, like almost every other teenager, want one person to understand and maybe even care about your meaningless, trivial, empty life. Personally, I would just say you're a nice person, maybe too nice sometimes."
Bethany kneels on the bed in front of Jesse. "You could actually stand to be a little nicer." She smiles.
Jesse wraps his arms around her, closing the little distance between them in a heartbeat. "Don't ever scare me like that, again. I thought I was going to lose you."
Bethany blushes as Jesse holds her closer and her face is buries itself even further in his chest. "Jesse." She manages to choke a whisper through. She wraps her arms around him noticing that he is crying silently. "Jesse I'm...I'm sorry." She can feel her eyes beginning to water at the thought of hurting her brother so badly. Her manly, masculine older brother, with the defensive walls, and the moody, brooding attitude had dissolved away with just the notion of losing her for even a moment. "I'm sorry."
He pushes her away from him onto the bed. "Yeah, whatever." Apparently, the moody, brooding, and masculine facade had returned as quickly as it left. "Practice starts soon, so get the fuck out of my clothes, put 'em back, and hurry and get ready. You look like shit."
"Thanks." Bethany calls after the closing door. "For nothin'."
***
Bethany stands at the archway of the garage. She can hear the sounds of the band warming up inside the four walls. After this practice she will officially be a member of her brother's band, The Other Side. She twirls the end of her blonde hair thinking deeply of dying it. She tugs at her brother's black button shirt with the blue and silver dragon printed on the back, that she is wearing, unbuttoned over top of her white undershirt and black cargo pants. She opens the screen door and steps inside. The band stops playing at her intro and for the first time she does not hear the yells of the 'get the hell out of here's'.
"Ay yo Bethany, what took you so long. We started twenty minutes ago." Darion finishes some last minute tuning to his bass guitar; a Fender Stratocaster.
"Do you ever not start a sentence with 'Ay yo'?" Bethany walks over to the middle of the throng imitating Darion's accent perfectly. Darion scoffs and turns away. "So what exactly am I supposed to be singing? Are we singing at the party tonight?"
Jesse stands up and shoves five sheets of song lyrics at her chest. "This and yes. You have to learn those by tonight and try not to tell dad about the party."
Bethany tries to force a smile. "I guess we better get started."
***
Jesse flops down on the couch beside his sister. The band has just left to get ready for the party that will start in only an hour. Bethany sits her feet on top of Jesse. "I'm exhausted. We just practiced for four hours straight and now we have to play again in another hour."
"Get used to it."
Bethany stands up from the couch. "Well, I have to go get ready. My feet kinda smell, too." She raises her barefoot to the tip of her nose.
"You're disgusting and how many times do I have to tell you to take off my clothes and put them back in my closet."
"As many times as it'll take to get me to listen." She walks to the bottom of the stairs. "Why do we have so many steps in this house?"
Jesse shrugs refusing to move from the comfortable confines of the couch. "I dunno."
Bethany sits down on the platform at the bottom of the stairs. "A conversation usually involves the second party to say more than two words in reply."
"I know."
"You're hopeless. You know that?"
"Yep." Jesse turns his matted and sweaty locks towards Bethany. "Why do you have to touch me and kiss me in front of crowds of people? That's what home is for."
"What are you embarrassed? I mean I don't know why I do what I do. Probably because it's nice to get to do something in front of all lot of people that other girls don't get to do. If we weren't related you would never give me a second glance." Bethany looks at the swirls on the ceiling. "Can I ask you something that's kind of personal?"
"Go for it."
"Have you and Storm ever...you know done it before?"
"What the hell kind of question is that? Of course." He lays on his back on the couch. "Have you and Gay...Dana ever-."
"No." Bethany stands up once more. "I should really go get changed."
"Is he coming?"
"I think so. Everyone's coming. I sort of invited him before...everything. Maybe, he won't. I don't know." She begins walking up the stairs to shower and change.
"I could kick his ass for you if he shows up."
"Thanks, but no thanks."
***
Bethany stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom. She is wearing a tight fitting off the shoulder, white blouse, with a loose, knee length, black skirt. A harsh knock sounds from the opposite side of the door. "Bethany! Hurry up! Everyone's here; we're all set up by the pool."
"I'll be right there!" Bethany covers the slash on her thigh, with her skirt, that she just drove a jagged mirror shard, that she found in the corner of her room, into. She dabs her usually flawless skin with toilet paper where the blood runs from. She opens the door, runs down the steps through the house and to the backyard. Having a party, filled with soon to be drunk teenagers, outside saves a lot of trouble with the cleaning; especially if you have a pool man to clean the puke from the filters.
The Other Side is already standing on a small stage platform near the right corner of the pool. There are already party-goers coming from the front yard. "When do we start?" Bethany asks when she gets to the stage with the rest of the band.
"Soon." Jesse is fondling with the strings on his guitar.
Bethany turns to the microphone and taps it lightly, sending a violent echo through everyone's ears. "Sorry!" She says just as she sees Dana walk into the back yard, of now about fifty teenagers chugging down beer. However, he is not alone. On his arm is Storm. Bethany turns to Jesse and pulls him off the stage; guitar and all. She drags him through the back door and into the kitchen. "I can't sing. I can't sing with him watching me with her."
"Huh?" Jesse is still dazed and confused from being dragged by the arm through the backyard.
"Dana is out there with Storm! He dumped me for your ex-girlfriend."
"Oh yeah. I probably should have warned you she would do something like that. If you're going to call her out, don't do it in front of a crowd of her friends."
"Don't you even care a little?" She sits down on the stool at the kitchen counter.
"Not really. She can do what ever the hell she wants to do." Bethany is getting more upset with each unhelpful word uttered from his mouth. He stands beside her; leaning on the counter. "Stop worrying about it so much. If Dana doesn't realize how beautiful and perfect you are then he doesn't deserve you."
"You really think I'm beautiful?"
"You're alright." He smiles at her.
She smiles back. "You think I'm perfect?"
"As perfect as you can be, but still drive me insane." He finds himself staring at her ruby red lips. He tries to turn away, but his attempts are quickly dissolved as the strawberry lips come closer to his. He does not know if he is moving closer or if she is, but it seems to take hours to get to a point where their lips are only a millimeter apart. He can feel her sweet bubblegum breath breathing heavily on his face; hot and wet. Her tongue pokes out of her mouth and trails over her lips, making both of them tingle as they move even closer.
"Ay yo, Jesse! Bethany!" Darion bursts into the door and Bethany and Jesse shoot away, like same poles of two magnets, to either side of the kitchen counter. "We got to play."
"Yeah, we're coming." Jesse shoots out the door after Darion, leaving Bethany still sitting at the counter.
She blows out heavily, but the loud exhale is muffled by the creak of the kitchen door opening and closing again. "Look, Jesse..." Her eyes roam to the doors archway. "Dana?"