Dark Diary

Chapter 2; Sealed Lips

I turned it over and over in my mind, but I couldn’t figure out how the mysterious person had done it. If it had only been the magical healing of my body, I’d have been fine with it. If it had only been the window and the lock, I’d still have been fine with it. But the fact that under my window lay two stories of nothing but air, I was having a pretty hard time wrapping my head around the whol ordeal.

I wasn’t disheartened though. Far from it, I was encouraged by my mysterious visitor. He’d given me the chance to drag on my pain for another day, and for that I was grateful. After all, dying in that bliss would have been nice, but I’d had plenty of other things I wanted to attempt before I tried to make myself die on purpose.

It was noon again; I’d waited for it to be about the same time as the day before until I started setting up for my next fun activity.

This attempt was far simpler than the other one. I’d knotted four loops around my bedposts, one in each corner, made of real rope this time, and I took out a bigger vibrator. This one was even better than the first, it was in a more sensual shape, it was double the length and width and it twisted much deeper when activated.

I covered it with lube and placed it at my entrance, wincing. This one was bigger, so it would hurt a little when it went inside. But I liked it that way. Slowly, I began pressing it in, starting and stopping every so often as I felt the muscles stretch and relax. Deeper and deeper, eight inches of thick, hard pleasure filling me up inside.

After that phase was complete, I grabbed a roll of duck tape. I ripped off a few nice big long pieces and started putting them in place; the first few went over my sealed lips, and to do this I wrapped the tape around my face three times to make sure that it couldn’t come loose. Once I was sure that my mouth would never be able to inhale, I focused on my nose. I placed almost four long pieces of the tape in different places just over my nose, and I knew that when I pressed down and closed the space between my skin and the restraint…

Before that, I slipped my ankles into the snare loops at my ankles and pulled at them tightly with my hands, making them especially taut. Then I lay down on my back, naked and without a blanket this time. I turned my vibrator on to the highest setting, exhaled and firmly taped the duck tape over my face. I tested it by trying to take a breath or two, and when I was sure that no air would get near my lungs I slipped my wrists through the loops of rope and pulled down hard, making the knots impossibly rigid and thus binding my own arms above me.

The feeling washed over me at once. I loved that vibrator so much…The familiar painless tension rose into my chest and I moaned from under the tape. The lack of oxygen made my senses far more acute, and I was delirious with pleasure. The thing that was turning me on most, however, was that I knew for a fact that there was no way I could escape this on my own. Sure, I had wanted to try a few more things before giving into death, but it was fine with me if I was going to die in the next few minutes too. I didn’t mind.

Either the stranger was going to come back and release me before my body succumbed or his good deed from yesterday would have been in vain and I’d die here, strapped to my bed and suffocating. I firmly believed that both were just as good.

I lay there for a long time, nuzzling the side of my face into the mattress and practically purring every time to vibrator pressed against that spot that made my insides twist with pleasure, and at the thrilling intense feeling of asphyxiation that was making my heart beat so fast...I could feel the pain in my chest start to throb and the instinct to try and draw breath was irresistible, and it amused me when my terrified body began to tremble once more when it was deprived of the horrible cold air again.

This time when I started to get scared and I pulled on my restraints, another part of me was reveling in my own despair. It was like going to a scary movie because you wanted to get scared. Sure, you were frightened, but you were enjoying it and you wanted to see it through till the end. That was me, whimpering under the tape, tearing eyes staring up at my ceiling as my frantic fingers scratched and clawed at the stone hard knots that I knew very well would never come apart.

It was like I was watching myself as I felt everything, and I loved to see myself struggle. The more I struggled the tighter the knots got, the more frightened I became and the weaker I felt. Soon I was calming down, and the pleasure took over again. I was focusing on it more this time around; I wasn’t as distracted with my fear now. I was smiling under that tape. I was smiling through those tears.

I willed myself to stop struggling completely. I became docile as the pain faded even more and the numbness crept over me, all of me realizing how wonderful my restraints really were, feeling grateful to them having been there. I was remembering that they were a good thing. I offered them my loving, quiet resignation, curling my toes in delight as all feeling vanished and the sound of the vibrator and the sound of my weakening heart where the only things I heard. I felt myself relax as my vision grew dark, and this time I was more excited than before. As I let my eyelids droop I was once again, sure that this time I would die.

But I was mistaken. Because when I opened my eyes again I was lying naked on my bed, tape removed, wrists and ankles untied and breathing quite evenly, not to mention that I was at a climax. Just like yesterday the vibrator was still going and I cried out in surprise when I came. I lay there for a while longer, reveling in the feeling before getting up and looking around me.

The tape was gone even though my face was still sticky in places, but pieces of the rope were still there. Some of it was still tied around my wrists and ankles, the rest was scattered in pieces across my bed and on my floor, like it had been ripped apart. I was slightly surprised; I’d used that rope especially for this, hoping to give my life-preserving friend a bit of trouble when he came to stop me. But he’d chopped through the stuff like it was nothing at all, which gave me the impression that he wasn’t using you’re average Swiss army knife. I was kind of under the impression that he had claws.

The window was left open again. I glanced down to see the damage. Again, my body was unscathed. Even my wrists and ankles were devoid of rope burn. I smiled to myself darkly. Did this clawed savior want me to be more creative?

***

The next day was Saturday, and I wasn’t able to practice my new pastime at noon because my parents had forced me to go to this horrible party with them. I wasn’t sure what it was for, but it was at a banquet hall and a lot of people I knew from school were there, so I sat with them.

I was seated between Andi and Nico, both decent guys that I liked hanging out with in school the year before. Andi was the soccer fanatic and Nico liked to paint. I liked them both well enough, but I wasn’t the kind of guy that made very close friends. They seemed pretty happy to see me though, and I pretended to be just as pleased. In reality I wanted to get back home, to my addiction.

We ate there, and there was music and lots of old people exchanging their weekly gossip. It was totally pointless. I must have looked bored because Nico tugged on my sleeve.

“I’m bored too. Come on,” he beckoned to me and stood up, “Let’s go out for some fresh air.”

I looked over for Andi, only to see him courting a young lady near the buffet table. I glanced back at Nico who made a face.

“Those two have been flirting constantly for a good three weeks now,” he informed me unhappily, “I wish they’d just get together already so that Andi can screw up again, get dumped and stop acting like a jerk.”

I offered Nico a knowing smile. Every time Andi found a girl, he always neglected Nico and his other friends and would only come crawling back after the girl had discovered what a complete loser he was. It always made Nico very jealous. I glanced back at Andi, wondering how long it would take this new girl to realize it. She seemed pretty sharp. Three days maybe?

“Come on Edric,” Nico urged, grabbing my arms and pulling me childishly, “Who cares about Andi, let’s ditch him!”

I smiled again. He was so jealous.

“Why don’t you find yourself a girl, Nic?” I teased.

Nico blushed, looked away and didn’t answer, but I’d known he was gay since the first day I’d met him. He just hadn’t admitted it yet. Maybe not even to himself.

I let Nico lead me outside. It was getting dark by now, the sky had turned bright orange and pink, and I could see a few stars. Nico laughed and ran out into the parking lot after a squirrel, and I just watched.

I’d forgotten how cute Nico was, with his shoulder-length red hair and his thousands of freckles. Not to mention those big, innocent grey eyes and nervously fiddling fingers. He was going into grade twelve acting like he was still in grade school. You just wanted to grab the kid and fuck his angelic little brains out! Of course I’d never acted on that particular impulse, but now I thought I might. If I lasted a few more days, I might as well. I really didn’t have anything to lose.

He turned over to look at me, clueless and grinning in the setting sun. So I made up my mind that if I survived two more days of my pastime, I’d definitely fuck the kid before I continued. Nico wouldn’t have a say in the matter of course. It was about time he got a good dose of reality anyway.

So I smiled at him kindly and I let him hug me before we went back inside. I knew Nico trusted me, and I was sort of anticipating breaking his fragile little heart.

**********

End of chapter 2.

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