My Wicked, Wicked Sins

The World is Black

Loud footsteps disturbs the silence of the street,
It is the dead of night, not a creature in sight,
Darkness looms and nothing more.
For countless hours I walk alone,
In the pitch-darkness on the road of rock and stone.
With nothing but a lamp guiding my way, I’ve lost all hope for this world.
My eyes have stalked hate--
My eyes have seen fear--
My eyes have pierced anger in two--
Rape--
Murder--
War--
A few of the various elements that have escaped Pandora’s Box.
Light ceased to exist.
Covering the world in it’s coarse black blanket.
Suddenly halting in place,
I turn around and face the darkness; the lamp hovering slightly next to me.
Licking my thumb and index fingers, I put out the flame.



















Enter

Enter the dimension that is my universe.
Be damned all who oppose my thoughts--
My hopes--
My dreams--
My Art--
My heart--
Enter the center of my existence.
Find the scales that measure my worth.
My worth in society--
My worth in your eyes--
My worth in the face of your God--
Enter into my twisted soul.
Explore my many various eclectic interests.
Weapons and blood--
Culture and History--
Creativity and Color--
Learning and experience--
Truth and justice--
Money and power--
Sex and pleasure--
The Holy and the unholy--
Things divine and peculiar objects--
Ancient marvels and present wonders--
Whether beauty is truth or truth beauty--
Whether radiance is in the eye of the beholder or in universal view--
Wondering if the sun will die today or tomorrow--
Music and Rhythm--
Books and words--
Theatre--
Technology--
Family and friends--
Animals--
The end of mankind--
Life and death--
Enter reality.


Blood Sport

The ailment of reality overcomes your body,
It drains the life out of you--
Leaving your sorry, pitiful carcass on the ground.
Kicking it aside, I burst out in guffaw.
Remembering my past experiences,
You were always the hero. The strong one. The successful one.
While I stood in the back; hidden in the shadows.
Who is the strong one now?
This sport; this blood sport--
You get one chance-- no more, no less.
The vehement will survive, but the weak will disparate.
Choose.

Are you a coward or a brave?
Are you a giver or a taker?
Are you weak or are you strong?
Are you a committer or a noncommittal?
Feeling lost? No such feeling.
Feeling sad? Get over it.
Feeling rejected? Screw them.
Feeling useless? Do something.
This sport; this blood sport--
You get one chance-- No more, no less.
The vehement will survive, but the weak will disparate.
Choose.












Mountain of the Forgotten

Though shades of gray cannot hide the imperfections of my actions,
My mind can only wonder if this place can.
The air carries the rotting scent of death, and the pungent aroma of decaying flesh.
Yes, the perfect place for such a sinner.
The perfect place for me.
The rotting corpses ripen and bloat during the heat of the day,
Their limbs open and leftover blood oozes out from each of them,
Creating a river of crimson red.
I can only smile as I walk on top of lifeless corpses,
Their empty, soulless eyes staring back.
This is universal peace.
This haunting silence, this scar of loneliness, this scar of manslaughter
Is--
Peace.
The world is at peace, but at a terrible price.
There is only one left.
And I cannot deal with it.
The horizon shows me nothing but bodies upon bodies unknown.
They are the forgotten.
I am the forgotten.



















Taking Me

You roughly grabbed my arm, gripped it tight and sat me down.
I watched you through scarred eyes--
Tying me to the wooden chair--
Breaking my legs--
Cutting my hair--
Pulling out a pocket knife, you sliced off my earlobe--
Slit my wrists--
Legs--
You carved your mark on my skin--
I sat there; bleeding severely.
I said nothing.
Eyes meeting yours, they were suddenly turned away.
Feeling the force of your hand cross my cheek.
Unable to move, I did nothing but watch and feel--
Feel the blood flowing from my wounds--
Feel your cold, rough touch--
Feel the lust growing inside you.
It grew--
Slowly--
Painfully--
Quickly and with gusto--
Forcefully--
Stopped.
Again.
Gone.













Limits

A soothing lullaby haunts my sleep,
The melody soon after went in deep--
Deep within the inner sanctions of my soul,
A feeling in which later, it would have it’s toll.
Setting my eyes upon the horizon and watching the rising moon
It was there that I realize that I was some sort of loon.
Wanting to defy gravity,
It became my infamous malady.
Crossing the clairvoyance that was universally held,
My mind and desire forever meld.
Floating on top of this strong current of change,
Taking a risk, I took the stage.
Making my own wings of wings of wax from the remainders of a candle,
The heat from the close-minded bastards was more than I could handle.
Having endured them for years, I am ready to claim the sky.
Saying goodbye to the citizens of the darkness, I sensed that all of them wanted me to die.
Like Icarus, I ascended high above, minding the sun’s heat.
Touching the clouds, and spying on the world below, my heart suddenly skipped a beat.
Clutching my wings with my disappearing strength,
I had experienced freedom to a certain length.
And so, I fell down to earth once more.
Body broken, wings gone, bones shattered, but my dreams never tore
Deep within the sanctions of my soul,
I knew the feeling would have it’s toll.













Nightmare

Tucked warmly inside the blankets that spread across my bed,
My eyes soon linger in the darkness that soon led.
Marking my body with the sign of the Cross,
I figure that within the sanctity of dreams, I could feel no loss.
Drifting away from the physical world,
Nothing but my childish desires lured.
Television, toys and books I dreamt,
But after turning the knob of the door to go outdoors, A horrible sight. Immediately.
I knew what it meant.
It was truly Hell. Lava flowing.
Fires fiercely growing,
Terrible creatures grabbed and gagged me,
They set me down, forcing me on my hands and knee.
My eyes set upon a most horrific sight,
How I wailed and screamed, hoping that they would take flight.
But from what I saw and heard,
I knew that my childhood fantasies were at a blur.
I saw my parent nailed to a cross,
Screaming and crying, I had experienced loss.
I saw my sisters tortured and stabbed; wounded and bloody,
They were cast aside soon after, their bodies muddy.
How I longed to hold my mother’s hand,
Unfortunately, she was a part of another land.
A sharp feeling startled me and I saw pitch black.
I soon realized that everything was as it should be, without lack.
I, being a child of five,
Bawled for my parents, and having them dive--
Dive to save me, to wrap me in their love.
No response came, no sign from above--







You Can’t Control Me

Moving Heaven and Earth cannot slightly budge me,
Two feet are planted firmly on the ground.
I fight for human nature.
Art--
Expression--
Love--
Hate--
Truth--
Trust--
Pain--
Lust--
Individuality--
Fear--
With nothing but faith in my heart,
No one will bar me down.
With the strength of my soul feeding my flare,
No one will break me.
Heart--
Body--
Mind--
Spirit--
Mine.
Destiny--
Mine.
Control--
Mine.












Hello Darkness

Hello Darkness, my former ally, again we meet.
Our previous encounter resulted in both of us getting beat.
How I was seduced by your strength, power and greed,
At that time, I contented me to do your deed.
Hello Darkness, my former friend, again we speak.
How I was deceived by you, week by week.
I made the mistake in confiding in you,
But how much you have corrupted me too!
Hello Darkness, my former Alias, again I drop your name.
As I fell deeper and deeper into you, I knew then that nothing would be the same.
Losing my identity and my soul to join your collection--
Your recruitment was far beyond perfection.
Hello Darkness, my former master, I made the mistake in serving you.
Instead of solving one problem, I had made two.
But not this time Darkness, not this time.
For today, I will not act as your mime.
Goodbye Darkness, my new enemy, I have chosen my way.
For even within the sanctity of the dark, one will surely pay.
And so, my old friend, I have seen both sides;
I will follow along land and sea, minding the tides.
I am not afraid of the darkness,
Though it may be cruel and heartless--
If ever we should encounter once more,
I will utter “Hello Darkness”, never again falling for your lure.













Be Satisfied

It’s been much too long my dear friends,
Do you still believe in my abilities?
I’ll have you know--
I am broken--
The ground littered with the remains of my contents--
And believe you me, there is much more fat on the ground than anything else.
I know--
I know--
“Don’t call yourself fat!” Or “You’re not fat!”
Well the truth is, I Am Fat-- obese actually.
My eyes and that mirror never lie, It describes me down to a tee!
A self-centered, obese virago that acts like a child--
(Not exactly this, but I sure hope someone will call me this one day)
Care to know what I think of you?
I will gladly tell.
You are the most beautiful, radiant females on Earth.
Of course, I am not worthy of your presence--
I will the room with my stench--
I rob the room of it’s perfection--
And yet, here I am.
Pretending.
To be nice.
To be tidy.
To be innocent.
To be lazy.
To be happy.
To be sad.
To be hopeful.
To be hardworking.
To be creative.
To be in love.
To be proud.
To be arrogant.
To be superstitious.
To be amused.
To be pleasured.
To be “me”.
To be satisfied.
You may not like it--
You may not approve--
But since I am ‘arrogant” and “proud”
“Hardheaded” and “dense”--
I am afraid the only solution is to be satisfied.
Be satisfied.





































There is no Cure for my Ailment

How I long for life to be in state of nonchalance--
For I never can seem to be myself.
Creating guff to hide my true persona,
I’ve been become accustomed to shield myself in it.
Help me, cure me, and rescue me from my ailment.
I have no vibe--
No gusto--
No strength to escape my ailment.
If there is no cure, then leave me be.
Help me, cure me, and rescue me from my ailment.
I linger on the hinge of my dark doorway--
Anticipating my dissipation.
Help me, cure me and rescue me from my ailment.
I fall--
Deeper--
Into silence.
Help me--
Cure me--
Rescue me--
From my ailment.
If there is no cure, then leave me be.
















Rock the Arts

Stand proudly before your audience.
Smile, nod, bow and don’t forget to project aloud.
The difference one makes.
Take your instruments, and hold them tightly
It is what it is--
Musical, Vocal, Pencil, Body--
Use it-- become one with it.
Unravel the mystery of the force that beckons you to the Arts--
Experience--
Live--
Gather--
Rock the Arts.
Stand up on that stage--
Feel the excitement of the people.
Let that feeling become your adrenaline.
Let the lights guide your passion--
Keep on a steady pace and you’ll find your calling.
Let it become your motivation.
Trust your instincts, let them come out.
Have faith in yourself, and do what you think is right.
Let this become your style.
Writers, pick up the intimidating blank sheet of paper--
Let the words flow out of the wound of your pencil--
Dancers, move forever in grace and style--
Make the music control your body and let it bring out it’s fury--
Artists, show us the inner contents of your soul--
Let us see the cornucopia of colors that lie eagerly within you--
Singers, let your voices cradle the stars to sleep--
Sing away the sorrows, and sing away the problems of the world--
Musicians, where would the bees be without their song?
Bring the melancholy and joyous melodies for all to hear--
Actors and Actresses, in that barrier between stage audience-
The world is yours alone to control.
Stand proudly before your audience.
Smile, nod, bow and don’t forget to project aloud.
The difference one makes.