The Search

You think the world around is the most simplest of worlds. That people

you see and speak with are all the same. No one is different. Maybe the

people you see have the different background, a different life, but in

the end we are all the same being, right? The same human race? This is

how I felt until I ran into the monster that I had fallen into only a

few nights ago. I haven\'t told a soul, too frightened to tell a soul

about this beast. I can\'t sleep at night because in the end I dream of

him. I fear him. He dances by my window frame at night. Watches over me

like a devil in disguise. You would think this all insane, but after

you\'ve been through what I have you would understand.



I stared at Mallicaus in a quiet comfort. He was my

comfort. My only friend I could hold too and call my savior. His blue eyes

gazing back at me. His rough calloused hand tussling through his hair

and pulling back the strands that fall over his eyes. His lids

snapping shut and then reopening. A smile adorning his lips. He looks up at me

a slight form of concern.



" Are you okay Lilliana, you haven\'t touched your food," He asked as he

watched me stab my food into the pasta in front of me. The look of

lack of interest to eat the food in front of me. I look up lost in my own

thoughts. " Hmmm?" I ask. My drowsy eyes turning up to meet his own. He

gazes back at me. His brows knit together to show his concern has

increased.



" Are you okay?" He would ask again. " you haven\'t seemed yourself

lately." He commented. His eyes shifted down to my fork as I still stabbed

the untouched food. I sighed and fell back into my chair. My eyes

turning to the window in front of me. My thoughts wandered again. To that

night, that pain, that devastating night. His eyes the rage everything

he had was still in my mind. How he came at me and spat the words he

would find me and come to me again to finish the job.



I shuddered. My eyes turning down in my own shame. I grabbed my purse

from the chair and stood. I looked at Mallicaus again. " I have to go."

I muttered to say. He stood quickly.



"What why so soon we just got here, are you okay, come on tell me

what\'s wrong," He asked following my steps. I turned to look at him. The

pain overwhelming, being in public and at mallicaus\'s side only made these

things worse to me. Tears welled in my eyes and I felt the cool liquid

of them fall down my cheeks.



" Stay here Mallicaus I must be on me own, now please just leave me

be." I spoke hoarsely back. "Wait Lilliana please, just tell me what\'s

wrong." He said taking my arm. I looked at him his pained expression only

hurt me more. I took my arm from him and walked out of the door. The

chime signaling my leave.



I stepped out onto the street. I grabbed my black wool long coat by the

top and pulled it together to keep the cold away. My breath warm

frosted in the air as I breathed. My heels clicked, clicked down the paved

sidewalk. My hair bounced and tickled the back of my neck. My eyes were

in front of me but my mind was wandering elsewhere. Not here not now

but there and then.