To Love's End

The next day scared me. I tried making excuses to allow some time for Chris and I to be alone, but he acted as though he couldn’t stand the thought of me.

We were watching television and he had been sitting directly across from me. I stared intently at him, but he was obviously avoiding eye contact. I didn’t understand what was going on and I felt hurt. Just when I thought things between us were at an understanding… He went very weird on me. He’d never acted this was towards me before and I wondered if I had done something wrong. But the thought of my hand in his was persistent on the forefront of my mind. I felt a sense of cheerlessness and decided to put him out of my mind.

Maybe things weren’t as I’d imagined …?

Night fell quickly on the house, and I found myself sitting in the big reclining chair with my sister and his, Amy, on the couch. We had decided to sleep in the living room because there was a television and we could stay up later.

I yawned with exhaustion, the day had drained me emotionally and all I wanted was for sleep to take my young mind to a place where worries no longer plagued it. I flicked through channels, just trying to fill my mind with something else before I drifted into slumber.

It was to my great surprise when I felt Chris slip onto the chair beside me. At first I was slightly annoyed, as he offered no apology for his actions during the day. When I felt him slide closer to me, once again taking my hand in his, I decided maybe I had imagined it all. In fact, after I felt his lips touch mine for the first time, I decided I didn’t care if it was the truth. What had to matter was the fact that he was here with me now. He gently pressed his lips upon mine and I allowed my mouth to open, deepening our kiss. I pressed myself towards him.

I remember hoping I was doing ok. My doubts were set aside when he wrapped his arms around me and my hands found his neck, intensifying our kiss. In my preteen mind, I could think only of the idea that this was my first real kiss. This was me, finally maturing. I was actually making out with someone. Like in the movies! Looking back, I was so naive and childish. Then again, I had only been fourteen. This was all very new to me… But it felt very natural for me and I think it did for him.

I closed my eyes as his mouth traveled to my neck. His breath upon my skin was tantalizing and I shivered with delight.

These thoughts of pleasure were clouding my mind, but I was still desperate to ask him something. I let him continue his actions while I tried to gain to the courage to say what I wanted to say.

“Chris…” I whispered, hesitantly pushing him away. He looked at me and I began to blush profusely. I went silent. I just didn’t seem to be able to say anything more. I was so shy.

“What…” He asked, suddenly nervous. “I thought this was what you…”

Damnit, I hadn’t meant to confuse him. I had to speak up. I took a breath and spoke.

“It is… I just…” I felt his hand take mine and for the first time felt completely safe and accepted in his arms, a feeling I would grow to know. “Why did you ignore me today?”

I felt him tense slightly.

“I was afraid we’d get… caught.” He spoke quietly, afraid to disturb our family nearby.

I thought for a moment. This changed everything I’d thought after today. So he did want to do this, just like
I did… Maybe, I was the immature one. I was the one who hadn’t thought of the consequences of getting caught. All I wanted was to do something with him. I didn’t think about how public I was being. I felt truly stupid at that moment.

“So… You want to do this?” I asked timidly. This was so awkward.

“If you want to…” He replied quietly.

I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. I felt a flutter in my stomach again and shifted closer to him.

“I do…” I whispered, looking at him. His hands slid to the small of my back, pulling me against him. I moaned as I felt his, quite obvious, erection pressing into my thigh. My mind was overwhelmed with new sensations as he caressed my body. Involuntarily my hips moved against him, desperately seeking some sort of release. I could feel a burning desire beginning to overtake my young body, making me far more self-assured and assertive. I guess sexual need could really change a person.

We continued to kiss for a while. Though I had gained confidence, I was still a little shy to take the next step. His hands ran through my hair as he kissed and caressed my neck with his mouth. I moaned aloud, unable to control the desire I felt. He stopped his ministrations, and I realized I’d been far too loud. We both glanced over toward my sister and his. I hoped the dull sounds of the television had blocked any noise we were making, out.

He returned to kissing me and I felt his hand at the hem of my t-shirt. My heart raced slightly as I knew what he was going to do. Ever so slowly, his hand began to slide up my shirt, his fingers dancing upon my skin as he did so. It was enticing. I shifted to allow him better access.

Then we heard footsteps above us. I jumped slightly and pushed him away. I could hear someone moving toward the stairs, most likely with the intension to travel to the lower floor. He looked at me and I said quietly, “You’d better go…” I was not ready to face whatever consequences would be awaiting us should we be caught.

He pressed his lips against mine one last time, cupping my cheek, and then quietly made his way a room opposite the living room, intending to hide until he could go back to his room.

I pulled my long abandoned blanket over myself and shut my eyes tight, feigning sleep. I finally heard someone walk into the kitchen, but I didn’t dare look to see who it was. My mind was still occupied with other thoughts. I was excited about what had happened but so utterly disappointed about the disturbance. As I drifted into sleep, I was filled with a mix of emotions. But one thought was persistent.

There’s always next time…


My eyes opened slowly and my senses were overwhelmed. I smelt bacon and eggs, could hear the loud conversation my mother and sister were having, and was blinded by the bright sunlight of the living room. I was in somewhat of a state of shock, as I sat up slowly. Looking towards the kitchen I felt my stomach growl with hunger. I sighed from sleepiness and made my way to the table.

My family greeted me, and I noticed my Aunt at the stove. I blinked a few times and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. And as I quickly gulped down a glass of orange juice I remembered what had happened last night. Despite my best efforts, I began to blush profusely. I hoped no one noticed. I also became more aware that my sister might have seen something last night. I felt quite guilty and wanted to go back to the chair and sleep.

“Julie, are you feeling ok?” My sister asked.

I pressed my lips together and nodded, now realizing that she had in fact been asleep last night and did not witness anything. My guilt immediately faded and I felt much better. Although the blush remained on my cheeks.

“Girls, you should go make sure you have all of your things. We’ll be leaving in a little while, ok?” My mother told us. That’s right! We were leaving today. I felt slightly disappointed but relieved in a way. I was so embarrassed after what I’d done last night, I wasn’t sure if I could face Chris. I’d acted so out of character and wondered if he regretted doing that. I hoped not, but I still wasn’t sure I wanted to see him right away.

I ate a quick breakfast and made my way to Amy’s room, where my bags were located. I sat on the floor and packed away my clothing and other items. I began to hum to myself as I folded some t-shirts. I didn’t hear anyone approach me.

I jumped when I felt hands cover my eyes. My hands immediately tried to peel them off. But when I felt a hot breath upon my ear and a voice whisper, “Guess who?” I stopped. My heart rate calmed and I began to smile. Maybe this wouldn’t be as awkward as I’d thought.

“Hm…” I said in mock contemplation. “I think it’s my favourite cousin.” I stood up and faced him. I could feel myself begin to blush as I looked at him. He smiled at me.

“You know…” I began, his hands resting on my forearms.

I stood, feeling sort of awkward.

“You don’t have to say anything… I know.” He told me. I nodded; thankful he was making this easy for me. But I knew I had to tell him something.

“I… I like you.” I felt immediately stupid and looked at the ground. I’d finally admitted what had been plaguing me for so long and felt a wait lifted off my shoulders. I heard him chuckle and felt even dumber. His hands slid down to take mine.

“I like you too…” He told me. But as always, I heard someone walking towards us down the hallway.

“Thank you…” I told him, not feeling quite as dumb. I was actually feeling quite excited… He’d told me he liked me. Finally, after accumulation of feelings over the years something had manifested itself. I felt incredible and wanted to shut out the rest of the world. Unfortunately that was quite impossible.

“Chris, you’re such a pest!” Amy told him as she entered the room. “You’re always bothering Julie!”

“Ah, shut up Amy. We were having an adult conversation” He teased her, rolling his eyes. She was always bothered by the age difference of himself and her and he always played it up. I knelt down and returned to packing, giggling to myself.

“Mom wants you to go downstairs anyway; you have a phone call... Some girl.” Amy said, pushing him out of her room and locking the door. But not before he could get his last word in.

”It’s probably one of my many girlfriends.” He joked, as he made his way to the lower level. I grinned as I packed away the remainder of my belongings. I heard Amy sigh and say, “Ugh, what girl could ever like him?”

I bit my lip as I began to giggle quietly.

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Well, I hoped you enjoyed that! I'd love to hear any input or suggestions! I hope that the chapters arent too short as well~

Thanks to the reviews on chapter one! Makes me happy to know that someone likes the story =) Shoutouts to ree, JdWheels, and Corrupted_Sara (I like your stories btw!) .

Chapter three should be up fairly soon! Thanks for reading =D