The Rousing Misadventures of Miss Pandora Sparkle

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Panty hose were the Deb-il. At any rate they were according to the mother of one Miss Pandora Sparkle.

Of course if you had asked the woman in question, a quite pious and all around wound much too tightly little female that stood all of four foot eleven and answered to the name of Sylvia Crane, she would probably have told you that most things were. The devil that is. And then more than likely she would have smacked you over the head with her bible.

At least that had been Pandora’s experience with the lady.

According to her mother, almost everything from make-up to mini skirts to bingo were the deb-il and they should be avoided at all cost. Of course, even as a child Pandora had figured out that everything couldn’t really be the deb-il. She knew that her mother was wrong on most counts.

Pandora sighed as she looked down at the small package she held in her hand.

Except for the part about the pantyhose. She was fairly certain that her mother had been dead right about them. They quite possibly were the deb-il.

Especially when you meant to get queen size and now you found yourself holding a tiny egg with a red “S” stamped on the side and it was clearly mocking you because the hose knew very damn well that they were your last pair and you didn’t have time to run out and buy more or you would be late for work.

Pandora briefly wondered what her boss would say if she called in to tell him that she would have to be late because she had bought the wrong size panty hose; then decided that she really didn’t want to know.

Oh well, there was nothing else for it. She popped the egg open and yanked out the tiny Barbie doll size nylons. She would just have to get them on some how.

She tossed the empty egg to Puffball and Fluffikins. At least her cats could enjoy playing with the package. Pandora smiled as she watched them start to bat it back and forth.

It started out relatively promising. Her feet went in rather well and there was no problem at all as she pulled them up over her calves. Sadly, that was where they decided to stop.

Pandora frowned in a way that was sure to give her wrinkles eventually as she grabbed the waist band and yanked. Hard.

A vision of someone wrestling a greased pig shot through her head but she did finally manage to tug and tow the waist band to just above her hip bones.

Unfortunately, all that meant was that the crotch was still camping out somewhere between her knees while the elastic band at the waist wickedly tried to strangle her cock.

Pandora grabbed the crotch with both hands and jerked upwards while simultaneously jumping. The theory being that if the pantyhose were traveling upwards while the rest of her was heading down they might somehow meet in the middle.

She soon abandoned that tactic as useless and resorted to the kick first one leg out behind you then the other while clutching the waist band trick. All any of it did was make her red in the face while the hose stubbornly refused to budge.

Perhaps if she put her shoes on to anchor them at the bottom?

Pandora waddled to the bed like a penguin with its legs taped together and fell awkwardly into a sitting position as she worked on putting her shoes on.

She lifted one foot to slide it into the stilt like heels she was so fond of and all seemed well. Then she lifted the other foot and slid the second shoe on. The movement caused her bend ever so slightly at the waist and the hose chose that moment to try and make a break for it. They steam rolled down across her cock so quickly that they very nearly left tread marks.

Pandora grabbed at the fleeing fabric and managed to catch the waistband before it actually could settle around her ankles. She scrambled up on the bed and lay on her back, hiking her hips into the air and wriggled the hose back into the approximate position they had been in.

Gingerly she sat up, still clutching the waist and then heaved herself up into a standing position.

The crotch of the hose still stubbornly refused to get any closer than five inches from her own crotch. She grabbed a handful of nylon at each hip and slowly lowered herself into a slight squat. When she straightened up again she was delighted to find that the shift had indeed caused the reinforced panel to move ever so slightly in the direction she desired.

So she did it again. Squatting a little deeper this time and again was rewarded when she stood up with a crotch that had undeniably moved in the right direction.

Congratulating herself on a job well done she crouched down completely on her heels.

There was a sickening ripping sound as the crotch blew out of her hose like an over filled balloon.

Pandora cursed loudly. Reinforced panel her ass!

She was so angry that she grabbed the thing closest to her, which happened to be a remote control and threw it.

Unluckily for her she happened to throw it in the direction of Puffball and Fluffikins, startling both cats so badly that they took off in opposite directions with Puffball yowling and streaking out of the room while Fluffikins zoomed right between her bowed legs. Pandora squawked as she tottered dangerously on her outrageously high heels just before she came crashing to the floor with a loud thud.

For a few moments she just stared up at her ceiling with a disgusted expression on her face.

Finally, she forced herself to get up and go to the phone to call her boss and tell him that she would be late because she had just had a blow out. (it wasn’t her fault if he assumed she meant a tire.)

Then she called her mother to tell her that she had been right all along.

Pantyhose really were the deb-il.

Next chapter: Pandora finally makes it to the set of “No Shame.”