Hate Me

.Hate Me

by: The Inflated Taco

o2: People are Strange

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-G E O M E T R Y-

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“Mr. Huntington!” a shrill voice screamed, piercing the ears of every person in the room, “Do you want me to call your mother?!”

Ozzy’s head snapped up and he wiped some drool off the corner of his mouth, earning a few chuckles from a few of the other dim-witted monkeys in the room, “Naw, Mizz’…Save yourself the time” he raised his arms and stretched, “It’s not like she’s even home”

“Oh really?” the teacher asked through slit eyes, “Where ever would she go that could be more important that she’d want to spend time away from her ‘precious’ son?”

He shrugged, dismissing her rudeness “I dunno’ she hasn’t been in town for the past few months actually”

“Are you suggesting that I call child services and report her of this negligence?” she questioned with a snicker as she tightened her grip on the dry-erase marker she was holding between her fat, pruney fingers.

I wonder if Oz was telling the truth….I know I’d be crying myself to sleep every night if my mom had abandoned me for months at a time. Maybe she was an alcoholic or junkie who spent her days living in a dark crack-den. I stole a glance at Oz; judging from the way her son turned out I probably wouldn’t doubt it.

“Naw’ miz’, don’t bother doin’ that. I’m already 19 so the state can’t do nuthin’, ya’ know?”

Wow…he’d been in high school for how many years? 5 at the most. Wow…that’s just sad.

Mrs. Maple’s tattooed eyebrows shot up to her hairline and her lips went pencil thin as she learned this for the first time. Her beady roach-like eyes then trekked past Oz and then for the first time she noticed me.

Fuck.

“And who might you be, darling?” she beamed. Her previous façade melted into something much more welcoming. Those insect eyes moved down, noticing the papers I’d been writing on, “I simply adore getting new students! Welcome! And she takes notes too! Do you see that Mr. Huntington? Notes!”

Mr. Huntington rolled his blue eyes, lifted his text book and flipped me the bird because that’s just ‘so’ mature.

The cow then flashed me what looked like it could have been a decent smile had she not had her face filled with 98 percent botox, “What’s your name darling?”

“Her names Monika” Oz said before even allowing a single syllable to escape my lips, “Monika with a K’ not a C’”

What a smartass.

What on earth could compel someone to be so mean to someone they had just met? Oh my God, I’m having flashbacks back from elementary.

I forced a smile onto my face, pretending Ozzy was simply not there, “Yeah, that’s my name, Monika. I just transferred back here from---”

“Welcome to my class Monika!” she began in her shrill voice. What the hell was wrong with these people!? Where the fuck did they get off by constantly interrupting me?! “You don’t have to sit in that particular seat. In my class everyone’s free to sit wherever they see fit.”

When she had said that I could just feel her eyes rolling over Jeremy and Oz. Damnit! I really hope she wasn’t going to pressure me to move. I wanted to stay by Jere’. I turned my head slightly to try and see whoever was sitting around me without appearing too obvious.

Okay, so the people around me weren’t the nicest looking people. And so what if they looked like they stepped outta’ an S&M convention, they hadn’t done anything to me.

Yet.

My smile had faded, but I forced it back. Before I even had a chance to respond to the old hag Jere spoke out from behind me, “She’s fine. She wants to sit there.” He drawled. He cut the silence by drumming his fingers on the desk, “And like you said- there’s free seating.”

The cows eyes widened considerably from behind her horn-rimmed glasses and for an instant I thought the helpless marker in her hand was gonna’ burst, “I would really appreciate it if you two delinquents would keep your mouths shut. I wasn’t asking for either of your opinions!”

Her head snapped back Exorcist-style (okay, that’s an exaggeration) and gave me a smile that any normal dog would have taken as an invitation to war, “Now Monika, do you want to sit there?”

“I don’t want her to sit there”

What an ass!

“Mr. Huntington!” the teacher screamed through gritted teeth, “SHUT UP! Just one more word and I swear--”

“I’m just sayin’ her sitting there’s thrown off this whole rooms Zen” he whined in the most exaggerated way. This rooms Zen? Wow…was he going so low as to bring this rooms Zen into his little lame argument? “She took my seat!”

When the hell did I go back to elementary school? Wait… this was high school, there was practically no difference between the two. Except of course, everyone in high school was desperate to insert or have someone else’s genitals inserted into them. Or the way the majority of the school’s population was popping brain cells faster than anything. But when you overlook those two disturbing behaviors you’ll notice the uncanny similarities between the two grade levels.

If I were anyone else…I know I’d have given the cabron (spanish for dumbass) a piece of my mind. But, since I was me… all I could do was sit here and try not to look at him for fear of gagging. I clenched my eyes shut and spoke in a cold voice that sounded nothing like me, “This seat will do fine”

The jackass’s head snapped to low at me with a scowl, juicy lips drawn back in a snarl. I only cocked my head to the side, letting some of my black hair over my purple (contacts) eyes, allowing a teasing little smirk to play at my lips before slowly turning my head back around.

“Oookay!” Mrs. Maples sang, shaking her head in the most retarded manner, “Now that we’ve moved on…I have something to tell you, class!”

No one in the class really seemed to care, but of course Oz had to be the oh-mighty center of attention, “You’re gonna’ have a baby and have no choice but to retire?”

The teacher’s eyes bulged out a bit and she opened her mouth to scold him but like always he beat her to it. He was leaning forward in his desk, resting his chin on his palm and looking as innocent as anyone can when they have numerous pieces of metal jammed into their face, “I knew it! I mean, no one spends a freakin’ 1 ½ hours at lunch unless they’re feeding for 2….and I’m sure everyone has noticed that swell in your tummy.”

“Mr. Huntington!” she huffed. Her face was so red I kind of thought for a second it was gonna’ explode, “That was not going to be what I was going to announce!”

He only shrugged and leant back in his seat indicating for her to go on.

From a cupboard by her desk she pulled out a stack of papers, “For the next few weeks of the school year you will be working on these packets”

She began to hand them out to the students, only she would pass them out by rows, skipping the one by it and so on, “From what I’ve noticed in the short time I’ve been blessed to teach you is that when you work on individual assignments, usually your work is, well…wrong.”

She finished passing out the packets and took a seat up in her stool, “For the next few weeks of the school year you will be given a fresh packet every Friday. Every single of the 150 problems must be completed. You will be given a partner so there is no excuse as to why any problem should be left unanswered (don’t you just hate it when teachers do that?).”

Some blonde with horribly done highlights hand shot up, “Oh my gawd! Do we get to pick out partners?! Dibs on Chad!”

The teacher let her head fall in and I could practically feel the mental anguish she was feeling from being surrounded by all these shallow monkeys. Through eyes wide in irritation she stared at the slut, “I was getting to that….All those who have a packet please turn to your left.”

I tensed and almost didn’t turn to my left in fear of what I would see.

Unfortunately, I looked…

And what I saw made my eyes bleed and my heart keel over from intense shock.

“For the next few weeks you’d best become buddies with him and whoever this person may be, I don’t really care. You will work with them and you will complete these packets. Only 7 grades will count towards your average. And each one of those will be a packet, except for your end of the year exams, so I suggest you begin immediately.”

My lower lip was drawn up in uncertainty, eyebrows creased as I turned my attention to the packet resting on my desk. This was bad.

No, bad was an understatement...this was catastrophic.

If I thought having Ozzy as a partner was bad and the math packet was catastrophic then I really don’t know what word could summarize the feeling that struck me as I skimmed the first page. A barely perceptible whimper escaped me as I flipped through the pages, examining the problems.

This wasn’t fair!

Only half, no scratch that, a fourth of the problems were geometry. The rest was just incredibly, ridiculously difficult Algebra and Pre-Cal. I mean HARD! Like the nipples on a blind lesbian while she’s making her way down a fish market hard! I hadn’t even taken Pre-Cal yet! NO!

I was near tears….How was I going to flunk a class at a public school?

My ‘partner’ must have noticed my distress because he finally said something, “Come on--Having me as a partner can’t be ‘that’ bad.”

-

-

-

This had been the first time since freshman year that I had walked home with Jeremy. He lived in the apartment beside mine: he was B7. We had met when I was in 6th grade, when he had moved here from Alabama. I couldn’t help but hide my smile as I remembered how silly his Southern accent (which he has since lost) had sounded to me 4 years ago. Back when he had moved here no kid talked to him because of his funny accent, but I spoke to him because I hadn’t known anyone else. And that’s how we became friends…

I pushed my hair behind my ears, trying to keep it out of my eyes as the wind blew harshly, and looked at him through the corners of my eyes. My mom had always liked him. He was practically her adopted son. His own mother never really looked after him because she was too lost in alcohol and drugs-so it only came natural for my mom to take him in.

His messy dirty blonde hair drifted over his muddled emerald, making him look so oblivious to the world around him. Everything, from that reptilian-like swagger in his walk, the way his cigarette hung on his lips, to the ‘I don’t give a fuck’ expression on his face was just so cool. He looked like such a badass.

I think he sensed that I had been staring at him because he tossed back his disheveled hair and let out a chuckle from deep in his throat as he sucked on his death-stick, “What? Do I have something on my face or--?”

Hoping he hadn’t noticed, I averted my gaze to the road, “No, it’s just---” I couldn’t help but gawkily laugh, “---it’s just…you look different from how I remembered you. Like I’d see you every now and again, but you just always seemed kinda’ busy so I never really looked at ya’.”

“Yeah?” he asked aloofly, blowing smoke out through his slightly parted lips, “You look different too—"

Nervously, I chewed on my lower lip, turning away, pretending some elderly couple tending to their yard had caught my eye, “That’s just all the make-up ya’ know?”

He shook his head, giving me a cheesy lopsided grin, “Naw, it’s not just that. Your hairs grown and you colored it like some weird blackish blue---" He turned his attention to the old couple who caught us watching them and waved in greeting before bluntly stating, “Plus your tits got way bigger”

If my skin had been one shade lighter I would probably have been the hue of a fire truck. Did he really just say that? Timidly, I took a swift glance at my chest….Okay, so I went up 2 cup sizes in 9 months. Still, it’s not like I hadn’t noticed what was happening to my own body.

Suddenly, he stopped in the middle of the street, drawing me out of my breast examination, “Hey! Why’d you stop?”

He looked over at a small, dingy frame house, then turned back to look at me, “I’m gonna’ go pick something up from there. Don’t worry it won’t take too long.”

Stupidly, I just stood at the edge of the street unsure of what he wanted me to do. Did he want me to go with him or just wait here? Apparently he wanted me to go because he turned back to me and sighed, “So are you coming or what?”

We cut to the door through the dry lawn that had only been covered by patches of desiccated grass and a few weeds that managed to sprout. This house was butt ugly. Jere’ didn’t even bother knocking when he got to the door; he just barged in and walked into the living room. I followed him in, noticing as I entered that the inside was just as trashy as the outside. My mother had always told me that just because you were poor didn’t mean you had to be dirty. And whoever lived here seriously needed to listen to one of my mom’s lectures.

I felt that by just breathing in the funky air I’d catch some sort of disease.

Jere’ walked past the doorsill into what I believed was the kitchen, leaving me alone in the middle of the living space. I stood there awkwardly, with my hands in my pocket, allowing my attention to wander to the dusty prints of famous artwork on the wall. It was while I was standing there that I noticed odd muffled noises coming from some other room. Then as soon as those muffled noises turned into full-blown shameless moans I knew what was going on in there.

It’s during times like these I’m so grateful my skin isn’t white, because if it were I’d probably spend a majority of my life blushing.

I was so busy trying to interpret the jumbled words coming from the couple blatantly expressing their passion for each other that I hadn’t noticed Jeremy come back into the room.

This weirdo white guy was also with him. They stood under the doorstep, exchanging hushed mumbles for a while until the guy finally noticed me.

And the moment his hazy grey eyes began to scrutinize me I felt 3 feet tall.

This guy looked even more daunting than Ozzy, if possible. It was probably because he bared a slight resemblance to Charles Manson…and anyone who even so much as looks like a crazy cult leader is just scary.

He walked over to me as though the room were spinning from beneath his feet, stopping when he was only inches away from me. I nearly shit myself.

“Hi—" I said meekly, inclining my head so I could look up into his face. Damn, it seemed like everyone on earth was taller than me. I hate being short! And I’m not even that short, it just seems as though everyone else was just too tall. Must be something in the water.

Charles jr. lazily smiled down at me, “So what can I do for you, babe?”

“She’s with me” Jeremy murmured as he inspected whatever he was holding in the brown sack this wack-job had given him.

“Oh…” The scary man said as he shoved his hands into his jean pockets and smiled down at me.

This was awkward…

He looked like he wanted to kill me with a spork, chewing gum and a band-aid, and then shove my body into a freezer.

Luckily, a loud moan coming from the two horney rabbits in the next room broke the silence. Charles jr. let out an overstated sigh and strut over to the shut door. He began pounding on the door with his fists, hoping the couple would hear him over their lovemaking, “Dude! We’ve got company! Keep your slut a bit quieter, won’t you!?”

Then he turned back around, giving me a smile just as creepy as the first. Only this one sent a different message. This one was more along the lines of: I will plant spyware in your bedroom, mercilessly wank to you changing out of your clothes, then one day kidnap you, and then after repeatedly raping you for 6 months will strangle you and tie cinderblocks to your feet so that I can drop your body in the ocean. A very creepy smile, indeed…

He took a few steps closer to me but, thankfully the moans started up again, only this time the overly loud girl was accompanied with the howl of some guy practically screaming, “Oh fuck! –Babe, I’m gonna’ cum! Oh…oh shit!”

Charles Manson jr. froze in mid-step and brought a finger up, “One second, please”

Oh my gawd…

This was upsetting (okay, maybe just for me).

2 people were going at it 10 feet away from me. To put it lightly, I was disgusted.

I stole a glance at Jere’ who really didn’t seem phased by whatever was going on because he was too busy emptying out the contents of his pockets onto the TV as he fished for change.

I looked back over to Charles jr. and watched him as he did the most insane thing, ever! Without hesitation he opened the closed door, poking his head in through the doorframe, “Dude, now that you’ve completed round 1, I’d really appreciate it if youse’ guys could cool it for a while. Man, you gotta’ work right now. School finished like 15 minutes ago so its gonna’ be fuckin’ mad for the next hour.”

Whoever was in there mumbled something that I couldn’t hear and Charles jr. said something back then shut the door and turned his attention back to me.

“Uh—" I looked up at him as he stood near me. My mind buzzed at a million mph as I thought of a good enough excuse to run out the front door and never look back, “Er… I should probably get going”

“Why?” he asked with a grin, “You just got here”

“You just said you had a lotta’ work to do…I don’t wanna’—"

“Aww…don’t go!” he pleaded as he grabbed my wrist and lightly pulled, “You’re the first babe whose stepped into here that don’t look like she’s got any VD’s or anything.”

And how was I supposed to respond to that? Gee, thanks for the compliment, freako.

I didn’t have to respond because Jere’ spoke out from behind me, “You got any of that hydro shit?”

Jack whipped his head around to look at Jere’, “Naw, man. One of the girls is gonna’ be back in a few with some new shit if you wanna’ wait.”

“Yeah, I’ll wait” he sighed as he threw himself onto a lumpy plaid sofa that totally went with the torn yellow wallpaper. He looked up at me with familiar green eyes, “Monie, wait with me?” he asked. Well, I dunno’ if it was a question, because it sounded more like an order.

I only managed a nod since the next thing I knew freako was in my face. Literally. “How come I never see you at school? I’d remember seeing you.”

“I---I…” I mumbled as I tried to take a step back. Damnit, this guy was insane! Fuck! Everyone was insane. I nervously took a step back, stopping when I felt the back of my legs touch the sofa, “I—I just transferred back to Kingsville”

He flashed me a smile bright enough to blind ¾ of the population, “Oh cool!” he brought out his hand for me to shake, “Well, nice to meetcha’ I’m Jack Lewis.”

Nervously, I put my slightly trembling hand into his, “I’m Monika Vazquez”

At least his last name wasn’t Manson. Jack Lewis sounded kinda’ friendly actually.

Jack…

That asshole Oz had said something about a Jack.

“Are you the Jack that sells birth control and stuff?”

His grip on my hand loosened a bit and his smile slightly fell, “May I ask why you wanna’ know?” He vaguely furrowed his eyebrows in unease, “Do you need some or what? Holy fuck! You and Jeremy are fucking aren’t you?”

“No!” I shrieked; my eyes had nearly popped outta’ my skull and I had almost lost balance and would have fallen onto the seat. Jeremy also looked slightly embarrassed. A tint of pink was splashed onto his cheeks as he flashed me a gawky smile.

“Phew!” Jack muttered as he pretended to wipe panicky sweat off of his forehead, “You two would so not be good for each other; even if it were totally physical. You’re this celestial little innocent thing and he’s...uh--”

“No, no, no!” I interrupted shaking my head, “It’s not like that! Jere’ and I are just really good friends; I mean I’ve like known him forever.”

He grinned down at me and squished my round cheeks, “Aww! You get all cute when you’re flustered! You get all red and silly.”

What the fuck was this guy smoking? …Probably crack.

I think I stopped breathing and looked up at him in confusion and slight (okay, a lot) fear. He got the hint he was creeping me and after a last squish of my cheeks let me go, “Fine, fine. So which ones do you want? I’ve got Depro-Provera, but there’s no fuckin’ way I’m gonna’ give you the shot. I’m a little bitch when it comes to that. There’s the minipills and the combined oral contraceptives. Before I sell em’ to you, first you gotta tell me who the lucky guy is.”

How could he ask me that?! And even if I were screwing around with someone its not like I’d say it (I’m not by the way). I swear, he had no shame.

“Its just this guy mentioned something about a Jack that sold birth control today” I said as I took a seat by Jere’ on the plaid sofa, “I was just curious if that Jack was you”

I watched Jeremy as he leaned over the coffee table and poured some white powder onto it, “Hey, Monie, you got something I could use?”

I was in to much shock to respond. Two times in a day! That was just crazy. He was gonna’ end up snorting his nose off.

Jack took out his wallet and shifted around in it till he drew out a metal card and tossed it over to Jere’, “Here, dude” After putting his wallet back in his oversized pants he turned back to me, “You gonna’ hit that?”

“Huh?” I stupidly blinked as I was brought out of my trance.

“Dude! This is mine! I paid for it.” Jere’ snapped as admired the little line he drew the coke into.

“Chill, you greedy fuck. You’ve got enough blow in there to get a whale fucked up.” Jack muttered, rolling his eyes. He took a seat on the arm of the sofa and asked me, “So whats your drug of choice, hun?”

“Life” a scarcastic voice said from behind me.

I practically pissed myself! I turned around to see who was behind me, and when my eyes made contact with the cretin, my heart hit the pit of my stomach.

It was him.

My mouth hung open a little, as I examined him. Great, now that I’d seen Satan in his boxers I was sure to go blind.

If I thought he looked dangerous in geometry, now he looked lethal. His arms were covered in a ¾ sleeve blast of tatoos; a few were on his chest and ribcage. Had he worn his hair up I’m sure I’d notice more on his upper back. This guy was a walking canvas.

There was no way he’d be coming to my house to do those packets; my mom would freak. Well, first she’d freak, then her heart would go into a state of panic and she’d die.

“Yeah? So you don’t do shit?” Jack asked, his eyebrows shooting up in disbelief, “And you hang out with the worlds biggest stoner?”

”Fuck off man!” Jere’ growled as he bent forward, over the table and inhaled the sparkly, off-white flakes. He shook his head as everything shot to his brain, numbing his body. As soon as the feeling passed he slumped back down onto the sofa and let out a light laugh as he stared blankly at the TV screen. He looked relaxed, but his body was still slightly trembling.

I have no clue how people could do that shit. The nice feelings gone in 45 minutes, then your left craving for more.

“Jere’ ain’t that bad. He’s my bestfriend ya’ know?” I looked over at Jere’ and held back the sudden want to wrap my arms around him and tell him to quit fucking himself up like that. I turned away from him and gave Jack a poignant smile.

“Best friends sometimes become lovers” Jack grinned as he dug into his pockets. He brought out a little baggy with what else? Llello.

When the fuck did I walk into Scarface?

I swear, I’ve never been surrounded by so much cocaine (or any other drug) in my life. And just check out my will-power! Just say no! Only, I’ve never really had to say it for myself considering everyone else has been saying it for me.

“Scoot over, hun” Jack laughed as he jumped on the sofa, parting me and Jere’ as he planted himself between us. He poured out more than Jere’ had on the table and drew it out into 3 lines with the metal card, “You sure you don’t want some?”

I nervously shook my head, “No thanks, I’m good”

“Aww! That’s cute!” He gushed as he twisted around in his seat and threw an arm over my shoulder. He leaned in so close to me I would probably have been able to distinguish his detergent had he not reeked of cigarette smoke. “So you wanna’ tell me to just say no then? That this shits fucking me up?”

Was he mocking me?

I shifted in my seat and turned to flash him an annoyed face, but the instant we made eye contact I froze. He was so damned close to me. Like his lips were only 5 inches away from mine.

I whipped my head to the opposite side, hoping my heart would slow back down to a normal pace. Oz was leaning against the armrest with a big smirk on his face as he watched me nervously try and squirm away from his friend. I defensively brought arms between Jack and me, “Could you please—"

“Please what?” Jack whispered into my ear. Little shivers slithered down my spine as his hot breath glided down my neck. Oh my gawd! He was gonna’ rape me.

“Get offa’ me!” I yelped when I felt him put his hand on my knee. This was gross! And it wasn’t just gross…it was also wrong on so many levels. This was the closest I’d ever been to a guy; and here this one was breathing down my neck.

“Not even she wants you, man” Oz laughed. He moved off the sofa’s arm and took a seat on the dusty carpet before the table and pushed his long hair behind his ears, “And she’s like this super dork”

Gee…thanks. It’s not like my self-esteem could drop any lower.

“But she’s a cute super dork” Jack said in an annoying sing-song voice as he finally removed his arm. I was probably redder than I’d been when I heard those people screwing. This was so uncomfortable. Jack was the first guy to ever be so physically close to me. And as though that wasn’t enough he was also the first person to flirt with me. With me!

The only explanation to his wack behavior was the drugs.

I peered over Jack to see why Jeremy wasn’t being a dear friend, and pushing this weirdo off of me. All hope left me when I saw him. He was sitting there with this uncanny, happy look dancing in his eyes. Apparently, whatever he snorted was grade A merchandise.

Fabulous. I’d been left alone to fend this suspected rapist off of me.

The sound of a door slamming brought me out of my self pitying. I shifted my head at an angle and saw a girl emerge from the room where the noisy couple had been in. She took one glance at me distressed expression, then Jack’s closeness and sighed, “Come on Jacky. Bugger off will ya’?”

She walked over to Oz, sexy sway in her hips that both conscious men had noticed, and took a seat on the floor in front of the coffee table. When she was within grabbing distance, Oz lazily swung a tattooed arm over her shoulder and squeezed her boob. My eyes bulged out a little in shock….I didn’t see that coming. GROSS!

But then again I hadn’t seen today coming either. Today had to be the most fucked up day of my life.

On the bright side I met 2 new people…2 disturbed, clinically insane people.

“Monika, at least come to the Rob Zombie concert this Friday” Jack begged as he gave me the most pathetic attempt at a puppy dog face. I suppose it would have been cute had his face not reminded me of a certain cult leader.

“Er…I don’t…” I groaned as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, trying my hardest to come up with an excuse to not go. This had been the 1st time anyone who wasn’t Jelly, Xing or Jere’ asked me to do anything. And chances are I would’ve said yes had I not been shitless of the guy asking me out.

“Come on why can’t you go?”

I kept silent, watching as the girl dove head first into the white powder. Oz kept his hand on her back, rubbing thoughtless circles over her shoulders. All the while he stared at her, mesmerized as a hungry look swirled around in his eyes. Gawd, he was such a horn-dog.

I averted my eyes to the blank television screen and mumbled to Jack in a near whisper, “I can’t go because…because I have to do homework.”

I hung my head and so wished those words had never escaped my lips. I was now officially the biggest dork on the planet.

Homework? On a Friday night?” Jack asked disbelievingly. He turned away from me, looking slightly hurt, “Oh yeah? And what class do you have homework for?”

Quickly, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “Geometry”

“Oh, shit” Oz hissed as he looked up at me. A light frown adorned his brow as he remembered the math sheets due first thing when we stepped into class Friday afternoon. But since today was a Wednesday, there was only 3 days left to complete 90 math problems. “So how are we gonna’ get that shit done?”

“Dude! I was asking her out!” Jack mumbled, rolling his eyes, “You don’t just interrupt a guy when he’s asking a chick out”

I had been getting asked out? Wow…I had been getting asked out. I turned to look at Oz, feeling too humiliated to keep eye contact with Jack. To put it lightly, today had been…different. Not only had I been asked out, but I’d been partnered up with the spawn of Satan, watched some guy grope a chick and watched my best friend inhale a line.

“Dude…” Oz mocked, sneer pulling at his upper lip, “You don’t burst into a room when a guys just bust his nuts in some chick and then tell him he’s gotta’ fuckin’ work!”

I probably looked like someone stuck a heaping pile of shit under my nose right then. Ozzy, my math partner, had been doing it 10 feet away from me with some coke whore. God help me, I may never eat again. Accidentally, an appalled, “eww!” escaped my lips.

“Oh, my! I seemed to have forgot I was in the presence of virgin ears” Oz scoffed as he made me this mocking face. He leant across his currently blasted-out-of-her-mind whore and ran his rather long fingernails down her collarbone, allowing his hands to play at the fabric of her low-cut top. Oz wiggled his eyebrows, and flashed me a smile oozing in sleaze, “I just can’t say things like bustin’ my nuts, tea baggin’ or butt munching can I?”

Did he just say butt munching? What the fuck was butt munching? I had an idea, but it just seemed totally unhygienic, and a sure way to get infected with hepatitis A.

I rolled my eyes, “It’s not that”

“It’s the fact that it was you emptying your load” Jack laughed as he ruffled his dark, wavy hair, “Its just too gross for her to imagine” Quickly, he turned his head to look at me, this mock-serious expression etched onto his face, “Hun, don’t imagine Oz jizzin’. It’s just not a pretty sight. ”

Oz chose to ignore Jack and continue tit rubbing his slut. Without much thought (it’s not hard to imagine how a guy could really think with his hands all over some chicks boob) he mumbled, “So tomorrow I’m taking you to work with me ‘aight? We can work on that shit there?”

Before I could even agree the girl pouted out her artificially plump lips and scraped her ridiculously long nails along his jaw line, “Oz, baby, why don’t you ever take me with you to the shop?”

Like some hornball he viciously attacked her lips with a kiss that made you wonder if perhaps he were trying to suck her tonsils out through her throat. It was grotesque. And as though that wasn’t enough, he pulled down her stretchy little top and I nearly hit 2nd base with a girl whose name I didn’t even know.

My mouth dropped, and I hardly even bothered trying to hide my disgust at this hardcore P.D.A. That ham sandwich backed up in my throat when he huskily whispered just loud enough for the whole room to hear, “Because, babe…if I had you with me at the shop I’d never be able to concentrate. My dick would be bone hard all…”

I have no clue what other disgusting thing he said to her, because the next thing I knew she stuck her hand down his boxers. Quickly, I averted my eyes and turned over to Jack giving him a funny ‘what the hell?’ expression.

He only shrugged and laughed off my discomfort.

Today would most definitely be a day to remember.

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“He did WHAT?!”

I laughed into the receiver, “I know! It was the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen! And it wasn’t even a nice boob; it was kinda’ veiny and little.”

“And you looked?”

“It’s not like I could help it. I mean if some guy whipped it out in front of you out of the blue, I bet you’d be staring too!” I reasoned. I shifted the phone to my other ear and continued to fold my clothes as I sat cross-legged on my bed.

“You know I’d be staring” Xing snickered. I could practically hear the grin in his voice.

“Well, yeah…but still it’s gross. And then tomorrow after class, I’m gonna’ have to go with the o’ mighty prick to his job.”

“I wonder where he works—" Xing sighed.

“Some place sleazy I bet”

“—he’s so cute, though. I bet by day he deals drugs at that house and by night he works as a male stripper under the alias Big John”

I doubled over with laughter, dropping my Badtz-Maru undies as I rolled onto my side. The image of Oz in a leopard print g-string, waving his crotch in front of a middle-aged woman popped into mind. “Yeah, right. But if he does turn up working anywhere using the codename Big John, I promise to give you a call.”

It was then I heard someone cough from in front of me. I looked up and saw my mother standing against the doorframe, “Tengo que usar el teléfono. Usted puede llamarlos en 15 minutos.”

“I’ve gotta go Xing” I sighed, rolling my eyes towards my mother.

“Aww, okay. Ciao, love!”

Click.

My mother walked over to my bed, taking a seat at the end. Even after 27 years of marriage she still looked lovely. After giving birth to 3 children she had put on some extra weight. And even though she may not be up to par with societies standards of beauty, she was still the most fantastic person on the face of the earth. She looked a lot like me back in the day. From old photos I could tell that we shared the same straight, dark hair and big-chested, curvy shaped, petite frame.

“Mija, I saw you walking home with Jeremy today. ¿cómo está?she asked as she delicately put her hands in her lap. Like her mother before her, my mom was also the sweetest, most selfless person alive.

“He’s alive” I shrugged, seeming too interested in pairing my socks than actually giving her a decent answer. Its not like I was gonna tell her he was a coke-fiend or that he’d pierced his eyebrow (thankfully, she hadn’t noticed). “We do have a class together”

“Que bien. I made extra fidejo con carne so you could take some over for him. God knows his own mother probably didn’t even come home last night. It’s in the Tupperware with the yellow tapa.”

“Right now? You want me to go take over that food right now?” I groaned. I tugged at my oversized ‘Save the Whales’ t-shirt to indicate there was no way I was going over there. I’d already showered and changed! There was no way I was going to get dressed again so I could spare myself the embarrassment of going over there in short shorts. I was tired!

In response my mother rolled her eyes, picked up the phone and nearly went out the door before she turned back around as she remembered something, “I almost forgot. This Friday your father and I are going to Monterrey to see your abuelos. We’ll be gone till Thursday. I’m working an extra shift tomorrow so you probably won’t see me till we get back from Mexico.”

I sighed one again, “Okay, mother”

I absolutely hated it when my parents took off like that. I was left with my younger, more beautiful sister who may still have been in middle school, but she had way more of a social life than me. She was always off with her little posse doing God knows what all day, leaving me at home all alone.

And I hated being alone.

It was surprising my parents would only be gone for 6 days. Usually, when they went to Mexico they’d stay for at least 10 days or more. I’m not saying they were neglectful or anything. To be honest, they were usually up in my business all the time; and I never even went out or anything. Well, it wasn’t my mom who was the worry-wart, it was just my father. He totally played out the comically, overprotective father to the T.

It was so annoying how time seemed to have gone forward but he stayed stuck 40 years in the past. Religion also played a big role in his life. He was a Bible-thumping Christian, and it was more than a bit frustrating. That’s how my family had raised him, and that’s how they still acted. If a kid got expelled from school or didn’t put effort in graduating, he was kicked out of the family. If a girl got pregnant and did not get married, she was disowned. If a wife cheated on her man, she was shunned. Yet if it happened to the man, he was expected to be forgiven. That’s the way things worked in my family.

I ran my hand through my dark hair so that I could tie it up in a half-ass bun, and watched my mother as she leaned against the doorframe, dialing the phone. Truthfully, my mother was the only one in my family who wasn’t a complete pain in the ass. I rummaged through my closet and pulled a pair of warm-ups over my shorts so that I could be somewhat presentable when I delivered Jeremy his dinner.

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