The NEW Elemental Super Heroes!
folder
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
869
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
869
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Insanity, Nox and Cold Snap!!!
Insanity, Nox and... cold snap
A/N: Forgive me, after no computer for so long, I have not had anyway to access the internet. I am now back temporarily on my friend's computer he loaned me (internet is lifeblood) and I am going to continue with our nonsence story. Feel free to give me ideas for neighbors, friends, etc. And as always, reviews are used as currency, flames are... yes, given to Flame so she can light Wind's hair on fire again.
Oh, and I don't own anything... literally, I own the clothing on my back, a wedding ring. (Real life Tempest married real life Ice! It will be in the story!) and a dryer... don't ask. ON TO THE PANCAKES AND BALLOONS!
Earth: She's been spending tooooo much time with ME!
***
"ME?" Oompa shook his head as he light up a smoke, "Y'all are insane."
Earth shook his head, he wanted to, he had to, but he held back as best he could, for now.
Flame had to giggle just a bit, it was just too funny to see Earth sweat, mainly because he had his shorts on fire.
Shadow smirked and leaned over to the CD player and pressed a button. The Willy Wonka Oompa theme song started playing. As soon as Oompa heard the music, he dropped his beer, (Much to the alcoholic, Rascal's delight) and started doing the Oompa dance, twirling around and then kicking up, nailing Wind in the nuts.
Wind dropped to his knees and crossed his eyes, he was sweating as he let out just a small whimper before falling over.
Everyone had to laugh as Shadow turned off the music, "That is his only power, he does the Oompa dance!"
Flame had to smirk, "I WANT ONE!!!" She ran over and squeezed the cute little Oompa tightly. Rascal was lapping at the cup of beer happily, ignoring the two weirdos that were above her.
Physco was now drooling over the ungaurded grill, and those rather thick looking steaks that were sitting there. Nox was as well. Physco looked over at the feline and smiled, 'You create a distraction while I get the steaks?' (notice that they are not really speaking, rather just 'garfield' speak)
'I could do that myself and get all the steaks, why share?' Nox was cleaning her tail.
'Because it's the nice thing to do, Physco... *hic* leave... *hic* the cat alone' Rascal was walking over to the table to grab herself another beer can (how she opens it, nobody knows)
'Alcoholic' Physco spat.
'I enjoy a few beers now and again, yes' Rascal popped the top with a tooth and poured it onto the ground. 'Maybe a nice rare steak too if you two are just going to argue about who's going to get them all day' She hadn't noticed the one pound kitten with four pounds of meat sitting on a steaming pile on the concreate. Nox held her mouth full and looked up at the two dogs, 'what?'
Phsyco shook his head, 'When did?'
Nox licked her lips, 'Ninja kitty!'
By now, all the 'humans' were done laughing over the injured Wind to notice that... the steaks were gone!
"Physco!" Ice yelled.
'Oh, sure, blame ME! The cat is eating!!!' Physco ran into the house, nub tail between his legs.
Nobody seemed to notice that the kitty had drug the pile of steaks off to the bushes where she and Rascal had shared beers and ate steaks and swapped dirty stories.
"Calm down guys, I have some tofu dogs in my fridge." Ice smiled.
"Froo froo tofu? Hell no, I need MEAT!" Oompa spoke up, Shadow nodded.
Flame just sighed as she walked towards her apartment. "I have a few pounds of beef in my fridge, we can have burgers."
'That's good, we need dessert, we are out of beer and steak' Rascal hiccupped from the side of the yard. Nox agreed as she patted her full belly, "That and Ice's italian cream cake sounds good. Rascal, this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.'
Flame came running out into the courtyard, "Burgers!"
Ice smiled warmly, "About damn tim- hey, did you guys eat my cake?"
Earth had a small slice, so Ice turned to him, "Did you eat the -whole- cake?"
Storm looks around, "Hey, where's the beer?"
Rascal and Nox weren't seen for the rest of the night.
***
Ice sat in the apartment, Tempest wouldn't be home for at least another week... it made her sad.
She sat there and flipped through the television channels. Nothing! She growled softly and stood up finally, stretching to touch the tips of her fingers to the ceiling. She had no idea that she…
“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!”
Wind and Storm poked their heads out of their doors, Flame walked slowly out of her room, dressed in only a silk robe. Slowly she walked up the stairs, past Storm and Wind and up to Earth’s door. She went to touch the doorknob, only to find it frozen. She opened up the door finally to find the poor teenager standing in the middle of his room, wearing a towel around his form. He was so cold.
“Ice must not have realized she had done that, hold still, I’ll warm you up!”
Another scream echoed through the complex!
Ice was in her bedroom and heard the two yells, “What the hell is everyone yelling about?”
***
Ice was shopping for groceries. She was reading, “hmm… milk.” She grabbed a gallon of milk, “Ugh, Ice cream…” She then reached for some chocolate milk, “Ugh, chocolate ice cream…”
She continued to shop, everything she touched was frozen by the time she was done with it. She resorted to using a pair of gloves that she had to buy so she wouldn’t freeze the canned goods.
She put the groceries away and went out to talk to Flame.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Flame asked after she got Ice a mug of coffee and sat down with her, Shadow was at his job.
“Well, watch.” She touched the mug, it froze instantly. “I’m having trouble holding my powers. It’s like I can’t stop from freezing something!”
“Don’t panic, don’t panic!” Flame sighed.
“Of COURSE I’m panicking!!!” Ice shook her head. “Why are my powers going silly?”
“Maybe you are sick?” Flame suggested.
“Sick, I’ll go to the doctor as soon as I can.” She said.
***
The next day at the doctors!
“Well Miss Ice Sickle, you are certainly ill.” The male spoke, a black man with long gold hair, the Elementals personal doctor.
“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I control my powers, and why can’t I…” she grabbed onto the bottle of rubbing alcohol, “why CAN I freeze rubbing alcohol?”
“It’s slushy, not frozen.” The doctor pointed out.
“It’s still…” she shook her head and then bliked.
“That is a problem…” the doctor shook his head as he scribbled on a notepad.
“No fucking shit, Sherlock!” Ice growled.
“We will fix the problem. I promise you that.” The doctor sighed, “Let’s do some blood work.” He then began to draw blood out of Ice’s arm, which promptly froze. He gave her a little look and just shook his head, “That’s not a good thing.”
“Again… no shit.”
***
“Gotta love them Fritos” Flame had met Ice for lunch as Ice waited for her blood work to come through, they had stopped at Subway, Ice paying.
Ice was having a bit of trouble with her meal. She froze the sub that she had in her hands, chipping a tooth on her tuna delight. She then tried to take a drink of her cola, only to get nothing but a near brain aneurism from trying to suck the straw. She then reached for her Doritos and…
“I think this is my body telling me to be on a diet.” Ice sighed.
“I personally think that it’s Christmas in July. Get you in a room with high humidity…” Flame teased.
“Flame, I love you, but right now, I don’t know what’s up with my powers…”
“I know, I know, you are worried.” Flame shook her head, “Everything will be fine.”
“Well, right now, I am worried and hungry.”
“Ah, never a good combination.”
“Well, the doctor said my blood work was on rush, so it’s about two… he should have the results… do you mind coming with me?”
“No problem.”
***
“Miss Sickle, we seem to have a small problem here.” The doctor said as he lead Ice and Flame into a small room.
“What is it Doctor?” Ice gasped.
“Your blood won’t thaw. Ms. Dancer, if you don’t mind?”
Flame flicked her wrist, “I’m only here for moral support.”
And the poor doctor eeped, but was not hurt… the blood thawed. “Thank you, this will only take a moment.”
“That’s the only problem when you work with elementals.” The doctor turned to head out to run the tests.
“We heard that.” Flame and Ice said together.
The doctor fled from the room.
***
“Congratulations are in order Ms Ice. You and your girlfriend here are going to have a ba-“
“SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND” Flame roared.
Ice felt weak, “Wait, baby??? I’m PREGNANT?” She then looked at Flame, “What, don’t you love me anymore?”
“That’s not what I meant…”
“Ladies… lad…” The doctor tried to calm them both down.
Both shot a blast of their respected elements towards the poor cowering man. He then looks at the small puddle of water in front of him, “I am SO glad that they cancel each other out!”
“Back to that… Flame… I’m pregnant… how am I going to tell Temp?”
Flame shook her head, “YOU tell Tempest. I’ll be… eh… yeah, I have things I have to do.”
“Flame… seriously, how am I going to tell Tempest. We’ve only been dating for about five months now…”
Flame just shrugged, “Sucks to be Ice right now.”
((Okay, okay, I KNOW I KNOW, see, I have the last two chapters of the Original Elemental Super Heros on this ancient thing called a floppy disk drive, and no computers that I have access to even know what this thing is. I will TRY to get to either the library or something to get the chapters… please don’t leave me Sephy Sama! You are a loyal reader, and I haven’t been very nice to you… and as a present for my loyal one, the one who gave me the kick in the butt (you know how hard it is to find a floppy disk that doesn’t want to be found?) You can choose… do you want a part in the next chapter of NESH? If you do, leave it in your review!!!
Later… come on Flame.
Flame: Up up and… up some more…
Ice: What? She’s been hanging out with Rascal too much!
Rascal: ‘Has not.’
Flame: *grins and hands Rascal another wine cooler*
Rascal: *smiles and whistles innocently*
A/N: Forgive me, after no computer for so long, I have not had anyway to access the internet. I am now back temporarily on my friend's computer he loaned me (internet is lifeblood) and I am going to continue with our nonsence story. Feel free to give me ideas for neighbors, friends, etc. And as always, reviews are used as currency, flames are... yes, given to Flame so she can light Wind's hair on fire again.
Oh, and I don't own anything... literally, I own the clothing on my back, a wedding ring. (Real life Tempest married real life Ice! It will be in the story!) and a dryer... don't ask. ON TO THE PANCAKES AND BALLOONS!
Earth: She's been spending tooooo much time with ME!
***
"ME?" Oompa shook his head as he light up a smoke, "Y'all are insane."
Earth shook his head, he wanted to, he had to, but he held back as best he could, for now.
Flame had to giggle just a bit, it was just too funny to see Earth sweat, mainly because he had his shorts on fire.
Shadow smirked and leaned over to the CD player and pressed a button. The Willy Wonka Oompa theme song started playing. As soon as Oompa heard the music, he dropped his beer, (Much to the alcoholic, Rascal's delight) and started doing the Oompa dance, twirling around and then kicking up, nailing Wind in the nuts.
Wind dropped to his knees and crossed his eyes, he was sweating as he let out just a small whimper before falling over.
Everyone had to laugh as Shadow turned off the music, "That is his only power, he does the Oompa dance!"
Flame had to smirk, "I WANT ONE!!!" She ran over and squeezed the cute little Oompa tightly. Rascal was lapping at the cup of beer happily, ignoring the two weirdos that were above her.
Physco was now drooling over the ungaurded grill, and those rather thick looking steaks that were sitting there. Nox was as well. Physco looked over at the feline and smiled, 'You create a distraction while I get the steaks?' (notice that they are not really speaking, rather just 'garfield' speak)
'I could do that myself and get all the steaks, why share?' Nox was cleaning her tail.
'Because it's the nice thing to do, Physco... *hic* leave... *hic* the cat alone' Rascal was walking over to the table to grab herself another beer can (how she opens it, nobody knows)
'Alcoholic' Physco spat.
'I enjoy a few beers now and again, yes' Rascal popped the top with a tooth and poured it onto the ground. 'Maybe a nice rare steak too if you two are just going to argue about who's going to get them all day' She hadn't noticed the one pound kitten with four pounds of meat sitting on a steaming pile on the concreate. Nox held her mouth full and looked up at the two dogs, 'what?'
Phsyco shook his head, 'When did?'
Nox licked her lips, 'Ninja kitty!'
By now, all the 'humans' were done laughing over the injured Wind to notice that... the steaks were gone!
"Physco!" Ice yelled.
'Oh, sure, blame ME! The cat is eating!!!' Physco ran into the house, nub tail between his legs.
Nobody seemed to notice that the kitty had drug the pile of steaks off to the bushes where she and Rascal had shared beers and ate steaks and swapped dirty stories.
"Calm down guys, I have some tofu dogs in my fridge." Ice smiled.
"Froo froo tofu? Hell no, I need MEAT!" Oompa spoke up, Shadow nodded.
Flame just sighed as she walked towards her apartment. "I have a few pounds of beef in my fridge, we can have burgers."
'That's good, we need dessert, we are out of beer and steak' Rascal hiccupped from the side of the yard. Nox agreed as she patted her full belly, "That and Ice's italian cream cake sounds good. Rascal, this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.'
Flame came running out into the courtyard, "Burgers!"
Ice smiled warmly, "About damn tim- hey, did you guys eat my cake?"
Earth had a small slice, so Ice turned to him, "Did you eat the -whole- cake?"
Storm looks around, "Hey, where's the beer?"
Rascal and Nox weren't seen for the rest of the night.
***
Ice sat in the apartment, Tempest wouldn't be home for at least another week... it made her sad.
She sat there and flipped through the television channels. Nothing! She growled softly and stood up finally, stretching to touch the tips of her fingers to the ceiling. She had no idea that she…
“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!”
Wind and Storm poked their heads out of their doors, Flame walked slowly out of her room, dressed in only a silk robe. Slowly she walked up the stairs, past Storm and Wind and up to Earth’s door. She went to touch the doorknob, only to find it frozen. She opened up the door finally to find the poor teenager standing in the middle of his room, wearing a towel around his form. He was so cold.
“Ice must not have realized she had done that, hold still, I’ll warm you up!”
Another scream echoed through the complex!
Ice was in her bedroom and heard the two yells, “What the hell is everyone yelling about?”
***
Ice was shopping for groceries. She was reading, “hmm… milk.” She grabbed a gallon of milk, “Ugh, Ice cream…” She then reached for some chocolate milk, “Ugh, chocolate ice cream…”
She continued to shop, everything she touched was frozen by the time she was done with it. She resorted to using a pair of gloves that she had to buy so she wouldn’t freeze the canned goods.
She put the groceries away and went out to talk to Flame.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Flame asked after she got Ice a mug of coffee and sat down with her, Shadow was at his job.
“Well, watch.” She touched the mug, it froze instantly. “I’m having trouble holding my powers. It’s like I can’t stop from freezing something!”
“Don’t panic, don’t panic!” Flame sighed.
“Of COURSE I’m panicking!!!” Ice shook her head. “Why are my powers going silly?”
“Maybe you are sick?” Flame suggested.
“Sick, I’ll go to the doctor as soon as I can.” She said.
***
The next day at the doctors!
“Well Miss Ice Sickle, you are certainly ill.” The male spoke, a black man with long gold hair, the Elementals personal doctor.
“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I control my powers, and why can’t I…” she grabbed onto the bottle of rubbing alcohol, “why CAN I freeze rubbing alcohol?”
“It’s slushy, not frozen.” The doctor pointed out.
“It’s still…” she shook her head and then bliked.
“That is a problem…” the doctor shook his head as he scribbled on a notepad.
“No fucking shit, Sherlock!” Ice growled.
“We will fix the problem. I promise you that.” The doctor sighed, “Let’s do some blood work.” He then began to draw blood out of Ice’s arm, which promptly froze. He gave her a little look and just shook his head, “That’s not a good thing.”
“Again… no shit.”
***
“Gotta love them Fritos” Flame had met Ice for lunch as Ice waited for her blood work to come through, they had stopped at Subway, Ice paying.
Ice was having a bit of trouble with her meal. She froze the sub that she had in her hands, chipping a tooth on her tuna delight. She then tried to take a drink of her cola, only to get nothing but a near brain aneurism from trying to suck the straw. She then reached for her Doritos and…
“I think this is my body telling me to be on a diet.” Ice sighed.
“I personally think that it’s Christmas in July. Get you in a room with high humidity…” Flame teased.
“Flame, I love you, but right now, I don’t know what’s up with my powers…”
“I know, I know, you are worried.” Flame shook her head, “Everything will be fine.”
“Well, right now, I am worried and hungry.”
“Ah, never a good combination.”
“Well, the doctor said my blood work was on rush, so it’s about two… he should have the results… do you mind coming with me?”
“No problem.”
***
“Miss Sickle, we seem to have a small problem here.” The doctor said as he lead Ice and Flame into a small room.
“What is it Doctor?” Ice gasped.
“Your blood won’t thaw. Ms. Dancer, if you don’t mind?”
Flame flicked her wrist, “I’m only here for moral support.”
And the poor doctor eeped, but was not hurt… the blood thawed. “Thank you, this will only take a moment.”
“That’s the only problem when you work with elementals.” The doctor turned to head out to run the tests.
“We heard that.” Flame and Ice said together.
The doctor fled from the room.
***
“Congratulations are in order Ms Ice. You and your girlfriend here are going to have a ba-“
“SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND” Flame roared.
Ice felt weak, “Wait, baby??? I’m PREGNANT?” She then looked at Flame, “What, don’t you love me anymore?”
“That’s not what I meant…”
“Ladies… lad…” The doctor tried to calm them both down.
Both shot a blast of their respected elements towards the poor cowering man. He then looks at the small puddle of water in front of him, “I am SO glad that they cancel each other out!”
“Back to that… Flame… I’m pregnant… how am I going to tell Temp?”
Flame shook her head, “YOU tell Tempest. I’ll be… eh… yeah, I have things I have to do.”
“Flame… seriously, how am I going to tell Tempest. We’ve only been dating for about five months now…”
Flame just shrugged, “Sucks to be Ice right now.”
((Okay, okay, I KNOW I KNOW, see, I have the last two chapters of the Original Elemental Super Heros on this ancient thing called a floppy disk drive, and no computers that I have access to even know what this thing is. I will TRY to get to either the library or something to get the chapters… please don’t leave me Sephy Sama! You are a loyal reader, and I haven’t been very nice to you… and as a present for my loyal one, the one who gave me the kick in the butt (you know how hard it is to find a floppy disk that doesn’t want to be found?) You can choose… do you want a part in the next chapter of NESH? If you do, leave it in your review!!!
Later… come on Flame.
Flame: Up up and… up some more…
Ice: What? She’s been hanging out with Rascal too much!
Rascal: ‘Has not.’
Flame: *grins and hands Rascal another wine cooler*
Rascal: *smiles and whistles innocently*