Descend the Stair
folder
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
645
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
645
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
II:
Title: Descend The Stair...
Note: These were the third and fourth, respectivly, in a series of self-imposed writing prompts.
II:
I am sitting in the car.
I am parked out on the curb near the corner, watching.
I am waiting for the light to go out in our bedroom.
When it does go out, I pull the car into the drive and kill the engine, marveling at the fool I have become.
I know you're not asleep yet, but at least now I know that you are pretending to be.
I could take the elevator, but instead, I take the stairs.
Each footfall echoes in the closed air like my heart within my chest.
It must be so easy for you.
You can just carry on pretending you're okay while I...
I break at the bend.
Everyday I push a little harder, and you fold a little faster.
I wish to God you'd fight with me again.
Fights are good.
They have rules.
They have winners.
And they have make-up sex.
What is that song?
"You Live For The Fight When That's All That You Got!"
And that is all that we have.
You scream.
I scream.
You cry.
I never do.
You throw things.
They hit me.
You leave.
I chase you.
And we Have Sex.
It is the only way that I know how to reach you anymore.
It seems like the only time that you look at me anymore is when you're pinned underneath me on our bed.
And it is our bed.
My bed is as cold as my heart, but our bed is warm with the heat of our bodies, if not our love.
I did love you once.
"¦But now everything I feel seems like it is being strained through a block of ice, and in the end, even after all that effort, all that ever registers at all is Apathy.
I don't know when I became this sort of empty, and I don't know how to put a stop to it.
I don't think I want to.
I climb into the bed beside you, and reach out to wrap you in my arms.
If I can feel, I might end up hating you.
I think that might kill me.
This thought makes me shiver.
It's cold in this room, but your body is warm.
You are naked, and I am fully dressed.
There is a metaphor there, but it can't reach me through
All
This
Ice.
I know you want to leave me.
And I know exactly why you won't.
You need me.
You need me to keep your heart from freezing.
You need me to make you feel, or else you'll end up like me.
Cold.
And Empty.
It's almost like you're sucking me dry of all of my humanity in order to keep yourself afloat.
But I loved you once, and so I am still willing to give you this.
I can't hate you for this.
It must be so easy for you.
See, at least you're free to hate me.
And I think that maybe I might hate you for that.
"I bet you're hard to get over,
I bet the room just won't shine,
I bet my hands I can stay here.
I bet you need -- more than you mind...
I think you're so mean -- I think we should try
I think I could need -- this in my life
I think I'm just scared that I know too much
I can't relate, it's a problem, I'm feeling...
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
'Cause there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you..."
-Matchbox 20 "If You're Gone"
Note: These were the third and fourth, respectivly, in a series of self-imposed writing prompts.
II:
I am sitting in the car.
I am parked out on the curb near the corner, watching.
I am waiting for the light to go out in our bedroom.
When it does go out, I pull the car into the drive and kill the engine, marveling at the fool I have become.
I know you're not asleep yet, but at least now I know that you are pretending to be.
I could take the elevator, but instead, I take the stairs.
Each footfall echoes in the closed air like my heart within my chest.
It must be so easy for you.
You can just carry on pretending you're okay while I...
I break at the bend.
Everyday I push a little harder, and you fold a little faster.
I wish to God you'd fight with me again.
Fights are good.
They have rules.
They have winners.
And they have make-up sex.
What is that song?
"You Live For The Fight When That's All That You Got!"
And that is all that we have.
You scream.
I scream.
You cry.
I never do.
You throw things.
They hit me.
You leave.
I chase you.
And we Have Sex.
It is the only way that I know how to reach you anymore.
It seems like the only time that you look at me anymore is when you're pinned underneath me on our bed.
And it is our bed.
My bed is as cold as my heart, but our bed is warm with the heat of our bodies, if not our love.
I did love you once.
"¦But now everything I feel seems like it is being strained through a block of ice, and in the end, even after all that effort, all that ever registers at all is Apathy.
I don't know when I became this sort of empty, and I don't know how to put a stop to it.
I don't think I want to.
I climb into the bed beside you, and reach out to wrap you in my arms.
If I can feel, I might end up hating you.
I think that might kill me.
This thought makes me shiver.
It's cold in this room, but your body is warm.
You are naked, and I am fully dressed.
There is a metaphor there, but it can't reach me through
All
This
Ice.
I know you want to leave me.
And I know exactly why you won't.
You need me.
You need me to keep your heart from freezing.
You need me to make you feel, or else you'll end up like me.
Cold.
And Empty.
It's almost like you're sucking me dry of all of my humanity in order to keep yourself afloat.
But I loved you once, and so I am still willing to give you this.
I can't hate you for this.
It must be so easy for you.
See, at least you're free to hate me.
And I think that maybe I might hate you for that.
"I bet you're hard to get over,
I bet the room just won't shine,
I bet my hands I can stay here.
I bet you need -- more than you mind...
I think you're so mean -- I think we should try
I think I could need -- this in my life
I think I'm just scared that I know too much
I can't relate, it's a problem, I'm feeling...
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
'Cause there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you..."
-Matchbox 20 "If You're Gone"