Product of the Broken

Ch. 2

Round underdeveloped chocolate eye's struck Nicolae with wet key lime flavored questions as they stalked their way to the nearest fast food restaurant. Sitting in a sickly painted corn yellow booth he found himself neither shocked nor surprised to be seated beside his new 5yr old interrogation officer, who was still running a mile a minute despite the three French fries she'd stuffed inside her tiny little mouth. Nicolae had ordered a simple cheeseburger and small coke, Cambria found it strikingly odd that he'd refused to order anything more; he plainly commented "Anymore greasy food would ruin my girlish figure." As he took a bite from the deliciously grilled piece of meat he raised a hand and placed it atop Cambria's daughters head silencing her instantly and causing her to giggle soda through her miniature freckled nose when he began drumming his fingers on top of her head, taking another bite he calmly chewed not wanting to admit out loud how good this nastily grueling food tasted to his battered tongue.
This feeling came often when you didn't eat for a few days. Setting down the burger he paused taking a sip of prickly coke. "Cambria dearest what on earth do you feed this child? Pre-recycled sugar packets?" She didn't answer him right away and found she didn't really know how to answer so she merely shrugged commenting only slightly "What can I say? She's five." This seemed to satisfy Nicolae and she wasn't sure why she cared if it did. His pink tongue swirled along the silkily lining of his mouth, tasting the large amount of cheddar cheese and beef hamburger meat that rested on the roof of his mouth, silently mixing with a delightful sip of soda that tickled his nerve endings and gave a prude warning to tell himself to try and calm down and chew thoroughly. No one was going to take the food away from him he kept telling himself, but the constant dread of this possibility never truly left his blood stream.
Cambria watched him closely as she took a bite of her salad it's creamy ranch dressing gliding down her throat and leaving an odd after taste as she noticed how quickly Nicolae was eating his food. He acted as if someone was going to snatch it all away from him and forbid him to digest anymore then he already had. She didn't understand him, he'd been so skittish since they stepped off the subway, shame stricken and at loss he refused to even of inside the day care center, sitting on a wooden bench with his arms folded across his chest his slender frame bent at an angle that started at the base of his neck. The daycare center had been rather surprised to see Cambria so early in the day to pick up her daughter. But no complaints were made.
She'd been worried about this whole deal but in the end it hadn't been as horrific as she thought. Nicolae was still perched on the bench where she'd left him only now he was standing on top of the bench and balancing on one foot. Clearing her throat of a single layer of confused mucus to bring forth his occupied attention span, which was stretched out to a thin line. Of course it snapped back like a uptight stressed out rubber band when Cambria's lovely bundle of joy, or well to be more accurate her daughter clutched onto his ankle, dropping all her books and stuffed penguin doll who stared up in messily sewn misery as Nicolae toppled off the bench and onto the pavement laying flat out. He unblinkingly stared up at the bright shiny sun staying as perfectly still as the pain running through his lower back and ass which had taken much of the brut force of the fall's crushing effects would allow.
Adara shuffled over to his head watching him intently her modest little sneakers lit up with each step and the penguin seemed to be looking at him now in self-pity. She was very small for her age her braided pigtails hanging in front of her shoulders made her look like a doll. Cheeks still pleasantly pudgy with baby fat she sucked on her lower lip, glancing up at her mother and poking Nicolae in the face with the penguin who he would later learn was named Captain Galapagos who apparently owned an Atlantic ocean liner that caught only wild fish sticks. She was five he didn't need to question any of it. Cambria had earlier slapped her own forehead at her daughters behavior kneeling down to see if Nicolae was alright Adara interrupted her sweetly "Mommy"¦did I kill it?" Cambria paused setting her purse down "No honey you didn't this is actually a new friend of Mommy's, his name is Nicolae he's coming to lunch with us today." Adara turned back towards Nicolae spreading her fingers out and placing the hand right in front of his face "Hi Nico my name is Adara and I'm five years old, this is Captain Galapagos he comes from the Artic." Nicolae allowed himself to take a heavy breath blinking up at her and then in towards Cambria's softly concerned gaze "She'd so charming, I can see some resemblances." Coughing as he began to stand he dusted himself off. "You say my name like I'm a cookie wafer, it's a pleasure to meet you." He said looming above her agitatedly in a cool collective manner.
He extended his hand and shook Captain Galapagos's fin before shaking Adara's petite hand. Her nails were painted green. He was guessing his day was going to be highly unusual and he couldn't have been more right, he declared inside his mind as he finished off his small coke smiling when he took his hand off of Adara's head and set it upon the cold countertop of the restaurant table. "So Cambria would you like to know what I meant now?" Despite never having met him before she found his voice quite entertaining as well as just a tad distracting in the sense it almost seduced you into forgetting what your current thoughts were before hand. Dipping a French fry into ketchup she twirled it into the red goop and sincerely nodded her head as casually as she could manage. He began mellifluously with his explanation as to why he was on the subway all day"¦everyday pretty much, and whilst he was in the middle of all this explaining that would lead up to the divine reasoning behind his words.
Cambria was beginning to think far to fast for her own good. What if she saw someone she knew? They'd wonder who Nicolae was and why she was going around town with someone she met off the downtown subway system. Most suddenly however the reverie she'd been trapped into was shattered by Nicolae's fingers inches from her face snapping sharply for her attention to be returned to the front upright position. Taking a deep breath her mind hovered on his words that slide off his tongue like soymilk. She could almost hear herself say it out loud "˜it's okay, I don't have friends anyway.' Nicolae idly played with his hair "You can't laugh Cam"¦" Blinking stupidly she reached for her soda "I'm sorry what?" He'd lost her somewhere and he knew he should learn not to ramble, "I said you have to promise not to laugh at why I'm on the subway everyday"¦why my days are kind of all bad."
She watched him glance at Adara who'd climbed down from the booth seat and begun playing with another toddler on the slides just outside the glass walls separating the playground from the eating area. Promising not to laugh she felt like she'd known him longer then two or three hours you don't just promise anything to a stranger you see on the streets. You have to feel the inner connection, feel it buzzing beneath the skin. Then and only then can you feel comfortable crossing the street with them, holding their hand and looking both ways. Nicolae watched her expression change from softly concerned to patiently alarmed, who knew the words "I've been homeless since I was 17" could produce such a dismayed expression from someone. It was nothing really he tried to say. Nothing at all it happens to people all the time. Everything sounded stupidly simple and plain to Nicolae as he sat up straighter and tried to appear as nobly as possible. This would be like every other time she'd get up and whisper an apology, pretend to have too be somewhere, maybe say she forgot about some appointment across town and had to hurry to get to it in time and that she had a nice lunch.
Biting at the skin along his lower lip he coughed hard. She wasn't moving. Why wasn't she moving, he asked himself inside his mind. She's supposed to walk away disgusted, maybe even cause a scene. Feeling an itch developing along the bridge of his nose he covered it with his palm and scratched the annoyance off his face. "Do you have a job?" the words made him jump and he held onto the table edge for balance even sitting he felt like his vision might tilt to the left. "What?" "Do you have a job Nicolae" He paused in thought and realized he didn't. "No not at the moment"¦sometimes I do odd jobs like um"¦stuff down at the docks by the harbor loading seafood it pays a hundred dollars a day for working like "¦six straight hours. But I hate that kind of work so no I really don't have a job." Cambria looked over his shoulder making sure Adara was all right playing outside by herself now while the other children hopped around in the ball pit. "Would you like one?" Nicolae narrowed his eyes, "A job?" he questioned feeling this conversation was turning into something more, he stared down at his left over food wrappers, which were crumbled, and laying in desecrated ruins.
Before he could voice himself further he felt her grab his hand with utmost care and commence on writing a phone number on the top of his hand in a navy blue colored ink. Call day or night she said in a tone he couldn't distinguish. "Why are you doing this Cambria"¦not that I'm complaining or anything but your kind of attaching strings here the more you get to know me the more complicated things will get. You seem like a nice girl I don't want make you look bad by working for you"¦" Taking her hand once more into her own she quieted him quickly "No Nicolae trust me just call when your ready I promise I won't get in trouble I know people don't do things like this every day." He snorted slightly with his own term of a giggle "I don't think people do this much at all." Sighing within herself she continued "This is kind of forward and awkward but just follow me on this okay?" He nodded and didn't speak for a moment he liked sitting here with her talking as if he came here for lunch every day. After a short time of silent looks towards one another Nicolae felt the edge of his trench coat tug in the direction of floor looking down Adara smiled up at him. Helping her back into the booth and onto the other side of him he smiled towards Cambria "Would calling tomorrow be to soon?"
Walking down the road he squinted towards the on coming street sign and made a sharp left turn towards the third house on the right side of the suburban street way. Dane Valrico's home stood before him soon enough and he made a steady ascent up its small porch steps and knocked three times. No one answered. Feeling disappointed Nicolae glanced down at his watch, which was held together by electrical tape around the watches formally thick leather band. It wasn't even three o'clock no wonder no one was home, he thought feeling silly and walking around the back towards the gate and unhitched it passing through to the backyard and sliding past the trash bin. You see Dane Valrico is a high school history teacher who teaches near Nicolae's old school that he only attended to until the 11th grade in which his father had him promptly removed for undisclosed reasons, at the moment anyway.
Nicolae had met Dane during his sophomore year only then he was just a teacher in training to take over for another when they retired so he was in and out of the school quite often. He was fairly enough Nicolae's only friend on this earth so when something decent happened Dane was the first to find out. He'd left him a house key at some point in his several years of knowing him and so he'd always have a way in no matter what time of day. Nicolae would never really tell Dane this but he was truly grateful someone cared enough to allow him into their home at strange hours of the day. Slipping in through the side kitchen door Nicolae shut and locked it again with a flick of his wrist and quickly made his way towards the fridge he was hungry for once but he was curious as to what Dane may have left him. Peering inside he let out a slight shrill squeal, seeing that Dane had left him the best thing in the world. Jalapenos. Taking the jar most carefully within his grasp he plopped himself onto the couch and turned on the T.V. Inwardly he felt moderately guilty for coming to Dane's even if the man insisted it and said it was alright Nicolae always felt as if he were trespassing. Remembering that he'd told Cambria he had no place to live.
He'd lied plain and relatively simple. But in a way he'd told what he thought to be the truth, well his own version of it anyway. You see Dane told him long before the subway rides began, before he even fully understood the ferocity of chaos in which Nicolae's home life was carried out in. That he was always welcome to live with him. That whole Spanish "˜my house is your house' mumbo jumbo applied, anything that was Dane's was Nicolae's as well. So why wasn't he living here? Why wasn't he eating dinner every night at the table with Dane while he looked over term papers and discussed the latest trends in Swedish furniture? Foolish senseless beat up pride that's what. Call it stupidity it doesn't matter what way you look at it it's still the same. Nicolae was stubborn and far to modest for his own good sometimes. So he came and went as he pleased or as his troubled mind would allow. It's hard to feel good about someone offering you something if you have nothing to give them in return.
When Dane normally got home he found his home just as empty as he left it in the early morning. But he knew when Nicolae stopped by, because the snacks he bought him were always gone. Otherwise the house was fairly enough untouched. Tonight however the T.V was blaring softly and Nicolae was lying against two or three plush pillows. His eye's drooping in a sad attempt to stay awake long enough to catch the end of whatever program he happened to be watching. However fatigue was winning the battle but as Dane clamped on the lid to the hot peppers Nicolae seemed to return to life. He yawned lazily, "I need to talk too you Dane, Fate has finally started to shine on me, save for the sever sunburn that normally follows." Dane planted himself at the edge of the coffee table holding the jar in his hands. As if to signal to Nicolae he could continue. "I was on the subway, and I met a girl we talked for awhile swore at one another a little and then I went to lunch with her." Dane rubbed the side of his head clearing a long strand of hair from his eyes. "And"¦?" He responded lightly wanting to hear more. "And like well I got her phone number. She wants to help me, and I really think this time it isn't about, you know the whole "˜I feel super sorry for you let me bask you in sympathy' She wants to help me find a job around her house doing what I have no clue."
Dane rolled his words around in his mouth not quite liking the taste. "That sounds fishy Nicolae." Nicolae himself frowned deeply "Well duh Dane of course it does because for starters I hate fish and then there's the fact my luck is normally about as good as the kid who gets the razor blade apples on Halloween. Be grateful I'm doing something with myself." Dane shifted from one hip to the other "I am grateful"¦ I just don't want you getting your hopes up." Standing up Dane crossed the room shutting the window blinds near the entryway "You know Nicolae you could just live here with me." Nicolae rolled over resting his foot on top of the couches backrest. "We've been through this before Dane you know what my answer is." "Yes I know Nic but I've said it a thousand times you don't have to pay me anything."
Nicolae could see exactly where this conversation was leading to but he couldn't see why Dane always brought it up. It only led to a familiar crash and burn sequence a moment of undigested awkward silence. "It isn't just that and you know it. I appreciate the offer I really do but living here"¦ it's to familiar." "To familiar to what, to them? Nicolae you have to get it through your thick skull, your father isn't coming back he isn't going to pull up in the driveway again and yank you out the doorway by your hair. He's gone Nicolae why can't you comprehend that?" The room felt as if it were going to boil. "It's not that simple!" Nicolae spurted from his mouth sitting up and knocking a boot off one foot in the process. "Because you won't let it be simple! I just want you to realize Nicolae your not to blame you can let me help you, you can learn to forget the past because I assure you they've already forgotten you." Dane's voice had cooled some as his words pushed forth from his throat. "I can't forget the things they did Dane it doesn't matter where I go what I do I still wont sleep any better and I still won't feel welcome. Those are things I can't change, I'll always feel scared even if I don't show it." The last of his words came out in nothing but a whisper as he leapt from the couch and turned away from Dane walking down the hall and disappearing from his line of vision.

Dane was left alone in the living room the sound of his bedroom door clicking open with an ultra cool touch reaching his ears over the hush of the television. With awkward silence preprogrammed to set in Dance graced the kitchen floor with his Dock Martin shoe's and started fixing dinner. With all said and done there really wasn't anything else to do he thought as he poured a bag of frozen corn into a boiling pot.
There's a key to treading onto dangerous ground successfully and it's to really never tread upon it in the first place. Because you can't expect to step on glass without receiving a few cracks along the way. That's how the human mind tends to work. You see they don't always concentrate on what's more than meets the eye, oh no they have to go beyond that. They would rather depend on human nature and risk hopelessness with the ever popular theory of superstitious consequences of seven years bad mental luck. But go figure, that most people chose door number two instead of door number one that had the brand new car behind it. That just happened to light up the room with it's confident sparkling All-American dream family car wax shine. Which leads us to think some people wish life was like it is on the their T.V sets. In the end reality isn't fun, it's the pure raw form of existence in it's more potent form known to mankind. And who can blame them for wanting to think that, make believe is always more interesting sounding then the honest brutal truth.
It's also probably the reason why people in large overly populated cities allow themselves to be hypnotized by day time T.V. That mindless bull that's nothing but house cleaning products and reruns of soap opera's, people promising magical wonder drugs that'll fix those sagging eye's in no time at all. None of them want to step out of whatever front door they may have to see what event has launched itself onto their doorsteps. Nicolae ran his hands through his dripping wet hair as he thought all of this through. He came to a minuet conclusion he didn't have to fret about day time television mind-rot syndrome. Because he didn't even have a front door to worry about.
The tub was deep and allowed a significant amount of water to reach to it's rim level. Steam rose listlessly above it's surface giving the bathroom its own smoky atmosphere dabbing his pruning fingertips against the water, once frazzled nerves were coming apart rerouting themselves into their original slots of alignment. The large toe of his left foot tangled around the metal string of the tubs stopper. Yanking every so softly at first feeling it break it's contact with the tub he waited patiently for the unceremoniously common sound heard at the end of every glorious bath. Nothing happened at first as the drain apparently felt ornery but with a slight change of heart came to the gurgling sound of the waters retreat into the pipes and onward towards the sewer system or wherever it really led to.
Tilting his head to the side as he grasped with a slick warm touch to the rim of the tub for balance in which to hoist himself out. Nicolae set his sights on the beside phone that lay positioned atop Dane's nightstand, through the crack of the bathrooms sliding door. This newly golden opportunity still didn't feel truly right nor would it ever. He'd thought maybe Cambria had lied and it was only some bogus number that didn't really exists. For all he knew this was the number to Pizza Hut. If this was true then it wasn't a total loss He'd had a nice afternoon and eaten a full meal, so all in all he didn't come out empty handed. Although deep inside his mind Nicolae prayed the number was real. Even if he wouldn't admit it he wanted to try and forget the past. He just wished he could feel that it forgot him. It was one thing in life he wanted to be left out of.
Wrapped up in borrowed sleep wear Nicolae thumbed through some of Dane's school papers. Just a bunch of messily written up essay questions nothing terribly special or important. He could no longer recognize any of the students names and he was openly pleased for this, for he'd gotten tired of seeing anyone he knew from his old classes. There were still moments when he awoke in the morning dreading the seconds slipping by that counted down to his departure to a place he both loathed and detested as well as moderately feared. It wasn't the work or the teachers really well maybe the teachers were part of the problems that were involved in his ultimate choice to allow his father to take him out of school. To give everyone a small taste of what honestly drove him to let his father have his way with the matter is to think back to when you were in school and recall how children can be cruel. They'd rather poke the wounded animals with pointed sticks then save them or give them pitied solace. Straight forwardly meaning it's just more interesting. Quickly becoming bored with thoughts of yesterday he set down the papers he really hated his father for his insane tendencies whether he was rid of the man or not. The things he'd done to him was irreversible damage, there'd come a time to better explain all this later. Due to the fact right now it was time for dinner.
It seemed to be the crack of dawn when Dane rolled over to gaze groggily at his beside clock. However it wasn't even close to dawn merely because it was already nine A.M. Staring at it in confusion he rubbed his slightly coarse face his peach colored hair was suffering from a bad case of bed head. In his two short years of teaching he'd never been late for work once today was the day that wiped that record of it's clean features. Beautiful he thought just freaking beautiful. Dane knew exactly by whom had his record been gently smudged. The culprit was standing at the foot of the bed dressed in one of his best dress shirts with the rest of his own attire, half of a cream cheese bagel was in his mouth to top it all off. How cute of him to leave the rest of his wardrobe alone Dane would surely have to thank him later. He couldn't really complain about the shirt he would have loaned it anyway. "Morning sleepy head," Okay change of thought not after a nick name like that. Nicolae didn't receive the happy go lucky sunshiny morning welcome he thought he may as a large goose feather pillow smacked into his chest causing him to yelp hopping backwards and avoiding anymore possible attacks. "Hey! Watch it Dane you'll get cream cheese all over your shirt." "I think cheese is the least of my worries right now, why did you let me sleep in? you knew I had work." Nicolae rolled on the balls of his feet. "Listen you hate that job those kids are all brats you said so yourself. And it doesn't even pay decent, so don't go complaining to me. I was being nice and thought you could use an hour or two getting some extra sleep today because I kind of need a ride." Dane slumped back down into the bed "Somehow I can already feel I'm going to regret this." "Regret what?" he asked as innocently as he dared. "Regret letting you have your way as usual." the lump in the bed said through the layers of blankets he'd thrown atop himself. He could hear Nicolae's instructions well enough that he didn't bother moving until the younger man whined they'd be late. Dane popped his head from beneath the blankets staring once more at his clock. The number had been real.