Sleepless Nights

A Very Happy Birthday

Finally, after a long four months, it was the winter break and my birthday was a mere six hours away. Then I\'d be fifteen like Patrick already was three weeks before. I was walking with him along the riverfront in the city. We were both born here, two city guys through and through. We loved hanging out here; there was so much to see, so much to do that it was unreal. The riverfront was one of our favorite haunts. We came here almost everyday. It wasn\'t much to look at: just a blue rail to stop you from falling into the sewage-filled water but no one came here and recently, I got the feeling that Patrick liked it when it was just the two of us.

We were walking along the path next to the rail throwing bottle caps that we found into the water in silence. If I threw it really far, Patrick would sigh and smile a little. If there was one thing I really liked about him, it was his smile. It was so beautiful that I just wanted to smile when he did. It seemed to light up the room. To me, at least.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked me suddenly.

“I thought we could catch a movie or something,” I answered.

He looked at me, as though trying to ask me something without actually saying anything. He seemed to be thanking me. I thought he was just thanking for inviting him but I always invited him, every year. Maybe he thought I wouldn\'t because we didn\'t seem as close anymore.

“Tori, we\'re still friends, right?” he asked as though reading my mind.

“Yeah, of course,” I answered him, a little shocked. “What makes you think we aren\'t?”

Patrick shrugged. “I dunno. I guess it\'s just \'cause we don\'t talk much anymore.”

“We do talk,” I told him. “Or, at least, I do. You\'re probably just a little confused \'cause your mom\'s dating again. It\'s not uncommon. You\'re just jealous of Peter.”

Patrick flinched at the sound of his name. He looked at me to see if I noticed but I pretended to be interested by the cars crossing the bridge down the river.

“So, what movie will we see?”

I noticed that he changed the subject. He\'d been doing that a lot lately, especially if Peter was mentioned.

“Look,” I said, unable to subdue my curiosity any longer. “Has something happened between you and him?”

“Me and who?” he said nervously.

“You and Peter. Did he say something to you?”

Patrick started to walk down the ally onto the main street. I followed him in time to hear him quietly say; “I don\'t wanna talk about it.”

That was the last mention of Peter all day. We spent about another half an hour wandering around the city before we headed home.

That night I stayed up to about three o\'clock, totally forgetting that I had turned fifteen in the passing hours. I was trying to work out what had happened between Patrick and Peter. It could be just a stupid thing like Patrick feeling jealous of his mom\'s boyfriend. But it could also have been serious. Patrick could have found out something about Peter that Peter didn\'t want anyone to know about and threatened him to stay quiet. That could explain why Patrick didn\'t say much anymore; he wasn\'t the best at keeping secrets.

After hours of thinking, tiredness overwhelmed me and carried me off to sleep.

o_o > -_-

I woke up the next morning at ten thirty to see my little brother Mike looking around my room.

“What are you doing?” I questioned.

Mark jumped slightly then turned to look at me. “Where did you put my underwear?”

For the first time I noticed that he was naked from the waist down. I laughed to myself for the prank I played on him. It was about the fifth one in two days. He was just so gulable that I couldn\'t resist.

“It\'s not here,” I told him.

“Well then where is it?”

I smiled again. “Patrick\'s bedroom.”

That must have been the last straw because he dived on top of me and wrapped his hands around my neck. It\'s wasn\'t painful or anything because I new he wasn\'t serious. We have a kind of rare brotherhood relationship; we are really close which is a little uncommon with other people who know who want to be an only child.

When he finally stop play choking me, he said; “Happy birthday.”

He jumped off me which allowed me to sit up. “Thanks. Where\'s mom and dad?”

“Dad\'s at work,” he informed me sitting on the side of my bed, “and mom and Kelly have gone out to some Japanese shop to get you some DVD thing for your birthday.”

“Oh, that\'s nice.”

Mike nodded. “Okay, now really, where\'s my underwear?”

Again, I smiled. “Patrick\'s room.”

Mike got up and started to walk out. I slapped his bare ass on the way out. He turned around and playfully covered his cock.

“Oh, you pervert!” he said in a playful voice. “I\'m calling the police! This is sexual harassment!”

With that, he walked laughing. I was a little giddy myself, probably because I was finally fifteen and Patrick couldn\'t joke about me not being able to get in to fifteen rated movies legally. On that I note I lifted my cellphone and pressed speed dial two: Patrick.

“Hello?” said a man\'s voice.

I was immediately alert. Peter had answered Patrick\'s phone. After what Patrick had told me the day before, I didn\'t really trust him anymore.

“Hi,” I said keeping my voice normal. “Is Patrick there?”

“Sure Tori,” Peter said, “He\'s right here.”

There was silence for a few seconds then...

“Hi.”

“Hey, what\'s up?”

“Nothing,” Patrick answered. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

I smiled despite the circumstances. “Thanks. I was just wondering if you wanna come over. My mom and your mom have gone out so...”

“Sure!” Patrick answered a little too quickly. “I\'ll be over in a few minutes. Do you want me to bring back Mike\'s underwear?”

“Yeah, you\'d better. See ya.”

He hung up. I got up and pulled on a shirt and pants. I got washed and had just come down stairs when Patrick knocked on the door. I walked over and opened it.

“Hi,” I greeted him. “Come in.”

He walked in and as he did, I noticed he was a little pale but flustered at the same time. We walked up to my room and closed the door behind us. I sat down on the bed watching Patrick look out the window.

“Expecting someone to be following you?” I asked in a jokey voice.

Patrick looked at me with eyes full of nervousness.

“Oh my God, you are,” I gasped. “Who? Peter?”

Patrick didn\'t say yes or no or nod or shake his head but his eyes told me what I needed to know.

“Patrick tell me what\'s up with you two,” I begged him.

“He- he does things,” Patrick whispered. “He does things to me.”

“What things?” I questioned but at that moment Mike opened the door.

“Oh sorry,” he said reading the look on my face. “I was just wondering if I could have my boxers back?”

Patrick threw him his underwear and he left.

When I was sure he was gone I turned back to Patrick.

“What things?” I repeated.

“He- he-” Patrick began. “He rapes me.”

The air was knocked from my chest. What ever I was expecting Patrick to say, it wasn\'t that.

Suddenly, Patrick threw his arms around my neck and began to cry int my shoulder. I had no idea what to do. For one thing, I was shock that Peter would ever do something like that and for another, I\'m not very good with crying people.

Slowly I patted his back, not knowing anything else to do. He slowly looked up at me.

“I\'m sorry,” he said. “It\'s just that- that no one believes me. If I tell anyone, Peter just tells them that I don\'t like the fact that he and my mom are together.”

“But isn\'t there any- any proof?” I asked awkwardly.

Patrick shook his head. “No, he\'s careful. He doesn\'t hurt me too much and he doesn\'t use things. It\'s just me and him. I had to tell someone, someone who would believe me. You do believe me, right?”

“Of course I do,” I told him. I believed every word he said and to this day I still do. “Who did you tell other than me?”

“My mom, Jaime, the police, the councilor guy at school. No one believes me, not even my own family.”

I was totally shocked at that. Kelly or Jaime didn\'t even believe him and they knew him his whole life.

“I\'m sorry I\'m telling you this today,” he said wiping his eyes. “It\'s your birthday and I\'m ruining it for you.”

“No,” I said. “You didn\'t ruin anything. It\'s Peter who should be sorry.”

Even I noticed the hatred in my voice. Patrick was more than a friend to me. He was a little small for his age and got picked on a lot. I sort of became his guardian or protector over the years. Anyone who made fun of him had me to deal with. But that was more of a joke than a threat. I was a little shrimpy back then and was more or less just a scrawny little bag of bones.

“Look, you can\'t go back there,” I told him.

“Wh- what?”

“Call him, tell him your staying the night here. Just don\'t go back in that house.”

“If I\'m gonna stay,” he said. “I\'m gonna need some things.”

That thought hadn\'t occurred to me. “Well, I\'ll come with you so he doesn\'t try anything.”

I looked back at him. He was so sweet, so innocent. Why would anyone want to hurt him. Sure we\'ve had our falling out over the years but I would never hit him or hurt him physically. He was much too gentle for that.

Patrick continued to wipe his eyes and another thought occurred to me.

“You stay in here,” I said. “I\'ll go get your stuff and tell him you\'re staying over.”

“No,” Patrick almost whispered. “He might hurt you too.”

“If he hurts me then there will be more than one accusation against him. People will believe that he\'s a rapist. They\'ll have no choice.”

Patrick seemed scared at first then nodded. I turned to go out the door but I was stopped by Patrick\'s hand on my arm.

“You know this won\'t solve anything,” he said sadly. “Tomorrow, I\'ll have to go back.”

“We\'ll think of what to do tonight,” I told him. “Just stay here.”

Before he could stop me I ran downstairs and went out the back door. I went through I get that was put in the fence and open Patrick\'s back door. I went inside and looked around. Peter wasn\'t in the kitchen but he was in the living room watching something I obviously wasn\'t meant to see. It was a man and someone else on a bed. It seemed to be a home video. I thought it was just an amature porno movie but then the man moved his head and I saw Patrick lying on his mom\'s bed, silent tears running down his face. Before Peter saw me, I crept back to the back door, opened it and closed it loudly.

There was the noise of a T.V being turned off and Peter walked out from the living room.

“Oh, Tori,” he said cheerfully. “You scared me for a moment. What can I do for you?”

Trying my best to sound normal I began to lie from the top of my head.

“I\'m just here to get some stuff for Patrick, he\'s spending the night at my house,” I said but leaving out the reason.

“A birthday thing I bet,” Peter said. “I hope there will be no girls present or any silly games.”

He winked playfully at me.

“No just us. And Mike probably.”

I thought I was doing well at staying casual but at the time I didn\'t notice that my hands had formed fists.

“You\'ll need his toothbrush, a change of clothes and probably some underwear,” Peter said. “I\'ll go get them for you.”

My brain started to formulate a rather stupid and sick idea. Maybe he made Patrick wear curtain things when he raped him. And maybe they were hidden with Patrick\'s underwear. Well, now was my chance to find out.

“Oh it\'s okay,” I told him. “I know where they are.”

In any other situation I would have avoided saying that I knew where Patrick\'s underwear was. It could lead to some embarrassing questions.

“No I\'ll get them.”

Before I could say any more, Peter had already walked off. He came back a few minutes later with the things and a little box.

“Patrick was in a little rush earlier and for got to take this,” he told me. “Here, it\'s your birthday present from all of us.”

“Thanks.”

I made to open the box but Peter stopped me. “I wouldn\'t do that here. Open it in front of Patrick. He picked it out. There\'s also a little present from me in there.”

I looked at the box. It was about the size of a CD case but about double the width. I took it and Patrick\'s stuff and left going back through the gate and into my house. I climbed the stairs and found Patrick looking at a magazine I hoped he\'d never find.

“Ah, you weren\'t supposed to find that,” I said nervously.

It was a gay porno mag. Yes I\'m gay. Big whoop! It\'s not like I\'m the only one.”

“You\'re gay?” he asked with a small smile that I hadn\'t seen in a few weeks.

“Yeah,” I said dumping his things on my bed. “I hope you don\'t mind.”

It was the most stupid thing you could ever say. \'I hope you don\'t mind.\' It\'s sounds like you read one of his books or something without permission.

“No, in fact you should open your present now.”

He\'d spotted the box in my hand. I sat down beside and opened it. Inside was a picture inside an expensive looking glass frame. The picture itself was what I was interested in. It consisted five photographs all faded together. There was a picture of me and Patrick when we first met, when we went on holiday together, when we were in our school talent show, when we finally managed to climb the old oak tree at the park and one that was taken a few weeks ago in his back yard.

I almost cried looking at it. It was like all my memories squashed into one picture. It was a really nice gift.

“You like it?” Patrick asked.

I was to touched to speak. I just looked at him and nodded. I lifted it out of the box and saw a note under it. Patrick saw it to and looked at it. From the look on his face he didn\'t know it was there. I took it out of the box and opened it.

It was a hand written note from Peter to me. It said:

Happy birthday Tori. Not that you and Patrick are 15 I know that you will want to do things, especially with girls. I was once in your shoes and know what it\'s like to have urges and needs.
Just remember that Patrick, even though he is older, is not as street smart as you are so he could fall into the wrong kind of situation. I want you to keep him safe from anything, including yourself should the situation arise.
Thanks.
Peter

For some reason or other I felt that this letter was warning. Keep him safe. It was almost as though he was daring me to stop him from hurting Patrick, like he knew that I knew.

“Can I read it?” Patrick asked. “Or is it personal?”

“Sure.”

I handed him the letter. He read it slowly, taking in every detail. When he finished he handed it back to me.

“I didn\'t put that in this morning,” he told me. “Peter must have put in it when I left. When you called this morning, I was about to wrap it up, you know, make it nicer. But then he came, said my mom was out and that he was bored. He was about to- to- you know when you called. I ran out without it \'cause I was so scared. I didn\'t- I didn\'t mean to-”

He\'d started to cry again. Without any hesitation I wrapped my arms around him and let him cry into my chest. I don\'t know why I did it but when he looked up at me, his eyes all watered up with tears, I leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

He looked shocked but thankful. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at me again. Without even the slightest look of doubt, he leaned in and kissed me. His lips parted and I slowly let my tongue slide into his mouth, letting it rub along his own.

I suppose that now would be a good time to point out that this was my first kiss with anyone. Somewhere deep down I always wanted it to be with Patrick.

We pulled away owing to the fact that we needed air. I noticed Patrick was smiling.

“That was my first kiss,” he told me.

“Mine too.”

We stared at each other for a minute then Patrick broke the silence.

“Have you ever,” he began but stopped.

“Ever what?”

“Ever had sex?”

I didn\'t really want to answer that but I did.

“No,” I confessed. “Have you?”

What a stupid thing to say. His mother\'s boyfriend rapes him. Of course he\'s had sex. Okay, maybe he didn\'t want to but he still did.

“Not properly,” he told me. “Peter just comes in, does what he wants then leaves. It doesn\'t give me any pleasure or anything.”

I felt really sorry for him. I\'ve heard sex is good from some of my older friends who have already done it.

“Why did you ask?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “I guess I just thought that we could...”

His voice trailed off but I knew what he was asking.

“You want to have sex with me?”

He looked up from his feet and gave only the slightest of nods.

I reached out and pulled him into my chest. Then I rolled over so that he was under me.

“Only if you do me a favor,” I told him.

“Anything,” he gasped.

I was about to answer when I just realised that he was really horny. I could feel his hard on pressing onto my leg.

“Only,” I started, beginning to feel my own arousal. “Only if you don\'t tell anyone. At least, not right away.”

He nodded right away.

“Okay then.”

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The next chaper will have the actul sex in it. Just to let you all know. I plan to write it right now.

The present that Patrick gave Tori was actully based on a present my friend gave me.

Please review.