Butterfly Collector

I laid under the massive body that belonged to Phillip. His gigantic muscles were flexing as he fumbled his way in and out of me. I tended to not go for the muscular type, then again, I didn\'t choose Phillip, he chose me.


The bemused groans I released from the bottom of my throat had to of let him know that I wasn\'t pleased. I watched the sweat drip out of his every pore. It was undeniably obvious with every false stroke by his hand or ill bite here or there that he was completely inexperienced with the female body.


Why the hell is he trying so hard?


His pace grew slow and his eyes began to close. He was climaxing and trying to savor the moment as if it would be his last.


I should hope this isn\'t his last time...he needs lots of practice.


I felt this bewildering confusion as my mind began channel surfing to thoughts of Will. I drifted off into another world...then a tug at my hair made me realize exactly where I was. A cheap apartment covered with objects galore that were supposed to look expensive but the gaudiness of them only made them look cheaper then in actuality they were.


The O face, here it comes....


I rolled my eyes as I realized just how predictable men can be. But that day I decided to be nice and give the man a proper send off. I let out a deep moan that made it seem like I just had the orgasm of my life. A wry smile appeared on his face letting me know exactly what he was thinking \"I am a god.\".


Well then, God, do I hate men....


The telephone next to the bed began ringing causing my ears to do the same. Phillip reached over me in an attempt to grab the screaming phone. Instead of helping him I just rolled over figuring he didn\'t do anything for me, why should I do anything for him?


Oh, maybe the sheer fact that he tried! God you\'re a bitch!
I am not!
Right, keep telling yourself that, Shirl, maybe you\'ll believe yourself one day.


\"Hello\" his voice was rough and dry. The kind of voice that would drive any grown woman wild as it whispered naughty things in her ear.
\"Yeah, she\'s still here.\"
\"Yeah it was good.\"

He snickered as he talked about his conquest, me. I pulled my hair back tightly into a pony tail figuring that I was spending the night. The hairstyle choice was a wrong one for it caused me to feel lightheaded.

\"Do you have any Advil?\" I mumbled trying to not annoy him while he was on the phone.
\"In the kitchen I believe there\'s some.\"


I pulled off the bottom sheet and wrapped it around my body. Even though he had already seen it, I just felt strange walking around. I could imagine the criticism he would come up with in his mind for I did it to myself all too often.


\"Where are you going?\"
\"To get the Advil.\" I snapped back
\"Uh, hold on a minute Will.\"

Phillip leaped out of bed and stood in the door way. His skin was tight and like leather. His eyes looked deeply into mine, too deep for comfort. I didn\'t like it when people tried to read me. If I wanted people to read me I would be an open book. I found a strange comfort in his eyes. They struck me as tough yet at a second glance there was deep concern painted all throughout them.

\"No, let me get the Advil for you. Do you take two?\"
\"Yes sir.\"


He slowly leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. For the first time he actually seemed sure of his own actions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Will looked at me with those puppy dog eyes that always made me melt. The heavens were open and the sky was crying along with him.

\"You\'re engaged?\"
\"Why are you crying? You set me up on the date with him-\"
\"Yeah, to get you to fuck him not to marry him.\"
\"Why do you care??\" I screamed causing Will to cower.


He walked up to me, never taking those precious gems he called eyes away from me. His soft, cream like hand made it\'s way to my cheek. I then was the one to cower. He pushed into me as if there was something he wanted but he wasn\'t going to ask for it. I looked into the distance at a passing mini-van. He was completely past the point of crying and I was afraid of what he would do instead.

\"I know you Shirley...you\'re never going to settle for him.\"

His hips grinded slightly into mine.

\"You can\'t have just one guy. That\'s why you went from guy to guy to guy.\"

His hand slid down onto my collarbone.

\"That\'s not why I went from guy to guy to guy.\"

He raised an eyebrow in a quizzical style. His lips were now barely rubbing against mine.

\"Why did you then?\"

He bit his bottom lip, telling me what it was he wanted.

\"To feel wanted.\" I whispered quietly, afraid to show him the slightest bit of insecurity.

\"Oh, let me tell you something Shirl girl.\"

He placed a hand on the small of my back and forced me to thrust into him. I moaned as I felt his erection.

\"I\'ve wanted you for a long time now.\"

I gripped my hands onto his shoulders to try and fight the urge to tell him how I had too desired him and longed for him to touch me. He was the true reason I had one night stands. I never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone but him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up in a daze unsure of my surroundings. I took all that was around me in and realized that I was in my own home, alone. Will didn\'t really want me. That was all a dream.

He\'d never want you. You\'re a damn fool.
Shut-up! It\'s not like I want him.
Do you enjoy continuously lying to yourself or is it a bad habit you\'re trying to quit?