Life of Zan

My fist struck and there was a loud crack as the fool\'s shoulder broke, following in rapid succession by three other cracks as I broke both his shoulders and both of his hips. The fool stallion can insulted my friends, living and dead, and many of the things I beleived in. I turned and strood down the hall, the students staring at me. Rules were that students don\'t fight outside the sparring rings and never without protective gear. But when pushed to hard I pushed back. I growled and the slured acent of my liniage twisted the sounds of my muttering as I shut myself in my room. The room had nothing in it, being I still had not had time to bring anything to the temple yet.

There was a knock at my door befor it opened to let in a rather muscular mare into my room. She was wearing that standare fighting gi her hair tighten up in a topnot. She was the strength insturtor for the upper end students and made even me seem weak in comparison. I looks at her for a moment, seeing that her brown coat was shiny with sweat and her large eyes seemed concerned so I doubted she was kicking me out.

I turned my back on her and looks at the wall before reraching out and starting to drawl the circle needed to reach my platform where my belongings were. I was half way done before she finally stopped me by hugging him tightly, pinning my arms to my sides before speaking.

\"Don\'t let them get to you. I know you deal with alot of biases but don\'t let their words get under your skin, I know how vengful you get and you need to master your tranquility and rise above such thoughts and emotions, not just force them into a bottle and wait for the it go nuclear on us all.\"

I started at the half done circle and reached up with my tail and began to complete it, the tailtip being more the well trained enough to make the engraving I needed. Though it seemed like years time flowed oddly here and aging just stopped and time quit passing; or seemed to anyways. I was hauled away from the wall by her as the center of the circle showed my platform. She laids back agaisnt the wall with me in her arms and rubbed back softly. Though strong and powerful, she was a very emotional person.

\"Please Zan, you need to listen to me. I know what you\'re doing. You\'re not proving yourself better by lieing to yourself about your pain. You never really cry for any of your pain, you only cry in rage, not morning. How long are you going to let the past weight you down? You hide behind being a horny freak, you hide behind being a killer, you hide behind being a hero, you hide behind all sorts of masks, but underthem you are in pain and you have to admit it.\"

\"You\'re wrong, my memory was tailored and thought things removed. there\'s no memories clear enough in my mind to be worth crying over anymore, the pain and all the rest is gone since I can\'t clearly remember Angel or any of the children. They are just blurry images.\"

\"Zan you ideot! This isn\'y about your mind this is about your heart and soul. They can play with details but you still remember her don\'t you?\"

\"Yes, I remember her somewaht. though time has washed some of it away. It\'s not just about her you know, there are many pains in my life and none of them are likely to go away. Now why bother crying and being weak? none of it help, it just makes me look stupid. Now let me go.\"

\"I\'m not letting you go till you learn this lesson. Thyrin my think you can learn on your own but when it comes to the heart and soul you are the thickest student ever! If you don\'t cry for it the pain hangs on till it\'s washest away with tears. You know as well as I that I\'m right now give it up and cry!\"

\"No! I have no reason left to cry. I\'ve gotten revenge and that\'s all there is to it. Yuri is still my friend and lover, I have other children.. I think. And Io\'mah is pregnant, that means soon I\'ll have plenty of children. I have all the tranquility I need. I\'m beyond the need to feel such pains become logic rules them useless.\"

\"That\'s not tranquility that\'s being an arrogent ass. Look, you don\'t always have to be the strong one for the world to lean on, just let it go. I know you\'ve cried in Angel\'s arms but you haven\'t cried since have you? Since she died the only crying you\'ve done is from the level of rage you had to use to cover the pain. You constantly fight and use physical pain to cover emotional! Hell you might me dragging around pain from as far back as Angela Vasaro! You are just the thickest numbskull at this school ar-\"

I cuts her off as I slammed my head back at her\'s and burst into flame, making her cried out in pain and suprise. he clothing caught fire and my gi got burned away as I lep though the circle out onto my platfor and made a bookcase rise out of the floor to block the portal back till I was good and done calming down. She may have been right but then she was also wrong. Too many people relied on me to be strong and I refused to show weakness now.