You Don't Know Me

After a few weeks of classes, Marcus felt like he was falling into a comfortable routine. His schedule was completely packed, between full-time school, a decent chunk of hours at the skate shop, and studying whenever he got the chance. But Marcus preferred it that way. Staying busy meant it was easier to keep himself out of trouble.

It was a beautiful Friday morning as Marcus headed from the parking lot towards the building where his English class was held. He heard someone call out behind him, and smiled a greeting at Janette. She was a friend of Tony’s who he had met the day of the orientation, and she was also in his English class. She was very attractive, if a little dopey, but she seemed to be an extremely sweet girl.

“How are you doing?” Janette’s hazel eyes twinkled as she caught up to Marcus.

“I’m good, thanks,” he smiled warmly at her. “How are you? Did you get the reading done?”

Groaning, Janette shook her head. “I must be the dumbest person in the world,” she grumbled. “I read two chapters and couldn’t understand a thing.”

Elbowing Janette lightly, Marcus reprimanded her. “Don’t talk about yourself like that,” he told her. “A lot of people have a hard time with Faulkner.”

“I bet you had no problem understanding it,” Janette gave him a playfully mean look. “You might not look the part, but you’re a pretty big nerd underneath it all. I can tell.”

Laughing, Marcus shook his head. “I never was before, so it’s funny to hear someone say that,” he admitted. He paused to wait when Janette stopped. It was breezy out, and her straight dark hair was getting into her eyes. Watching her fuss with a hair tie she had on her wrist, Marcus thought that he was lucky to have already made a few friends since starting at the college.

“Sorry, I have this pet peeve about hair being in my eyes,” Janette said as they started walking again towards class. “I don’t know how you do it. Your hair is always falling in your face!”

“Ah, the torture I put myself through to be beautiful,” Marcus joked, but he noticed that Janette’s cheeks tinged pink at his words. He felt his stomach drop as he realized that she was developing a crush on him. He had no intention of dating anyone right now, and he didn’t want to hurt Janette’s feelings with his unintentional flirting. “Or I’m just too lazy to go get a decent haircut,” Marcus added with a shrug.

This made Janette laugh again, and Marcus felt better. As they headed into the classroom, Marcus reminded himself to not be too flirty with Janette in the future. He didn’t need any more complications in his life, especially now when things finally seemed to be moving along smoothly.

-----

Later that morning, Marcus was wandering around the campus. He had about an hour before his next class would begin, but he had turned down Janette when she had asked him to get some breakfast together. He entered the social sciences building where his psychology class was held, and started walking down the hall. Turning a corner, he bumped straight into two people who were also walking, knocking the books and papers out of the hands of one of them.

“I should have known it was you,” Michelle grumbled as she and Marcus both leaned down to pick up the papers.

“And it’s nice to see you, too, Michelle,” Marcus grinned. “Sorry about that. I guess I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“Big surprise,” Michelle said with annoyance. She and Marcus had psychology together, and he had been friendly to her from the first day of class. He had told her he apologized if he offended her in any way during orientation, and he hoped they could be friends. Michelle had told him that she hadn’t been offended – that she hadn’t been anything. That she hadn’t even thought of him since that day.

Marcus had just laughed at this. The colder and more distant Michelle got with him, the friendlier and more easy-going he was with her. He could tell it infuriated her, and he got a weird kick out of annoying the perplexing girl. Like right now.

“Hi,” Marcus raised his chin in greeting towards the boy Michelle was walking with. “Don’t mind Michelle’s manners. I’m Marcus.” He physically had to hold back a chuckle from the darkened expression on Michelle’s face.

“I’m Sean,” the boy grinned back. “And don’t worry. I’ve known Michelle her whole life, and I know she has no manners.”

Unable to hold back this time, Marcus laughed when he saw Michelle shoot Sean a death stare. “Okay, well, I’ll let you guys go. Nice to meet you, Sean. See you in class, Michelle.”

The grumble that came out of Michelle’s mouth was incoherent. After Marcus had walked far enough away, Michelle then turned and glared at Sean. “What the hell was that?” she asked angrily.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Sean responded, not at all flustered by her demeanor. He glanced over his shoulder. “That was one of the flat-out hottest guys I have ever seen, and he was completely flirting with you. What the hell were you doing, going all turbo-bitch on him?”

Rolling her eyes, Michelle tried to will the color from rising in her cheeks at Sean’s claim. “He was not flirting with me,” Michelle insisted. “He’s just an arrogant ass that developed some strange need to make my blood boil. And if you think he’s so attractive, you go for him.”

Raising his eyebrows, Sean shook his head. “Believe me, I would if I had a chance,” Sean laughed. “But that boy is as straight as a ruler. It’s a shame, really.”

Unable to stop the corners of her mouth from rising a little, Michelle looked at Sean. They had grown up on the same block since they were both born, and he was probably the only person that Michelle considered a real friend. He was funny and outrageous, and he was never offended by Michelle.

“Come on,” Michelle said as they walked further down the hall towards the doors. “I’ll buy you some coffee before I have to get to class.”

“You’re just trying to get me to shut up about the unbelievably sexy boy who was totally hitting on you right here in front of me…”

“Will it work?” Michelle gave him a smirk.

“Throw in a donut, and it might,” Sean grinned, making Michelle giggle.

“Fine, just don’t mention Marcus… don’t mention him again.” Michelle didn’t know why she wanted this conversation to end so much, but she did.

“With sprinkles. A donut with sprinkles.”

“Shut up and come on!”

-----

The skate shop was closing in half an hour, and Marcus couldn’t be happier. He was exhausted from the week of school and work. All he wanted to think about was going home, climbing into bed and falling asleep in front of the television.

“Tony told me you worked here, but he didn’t say how cool this place is!” Marcus spun around to see Janette. She looked happy and excited to see him. “You must love working here.”

“Yep, sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and realize none of this is real,” he spread out his hands and looked around the small, cramped shop, making Janette laugh.

“So what are you up to after you get off work?” Janette asked nervously as she leaned against the countertop. Her eyes were wide and hopeful.

“You know, I’m just feeling a little tired,” Marcus said honestly. “I was going to go home and crash out.”

Biting her lip, Janette looked a little hurt. “Marcus, did I do something wrong?”

Feeling a wave of guilt wash over him, Marcus shook his head. “No, Janette, not at all…”

“Then…” Janette paused to look down at her hands before she continued. “Then why did you start, like, avoiding me today? You didn’t sit next to me during class, you wouldn’t have breakfast with me, you didn’t come to the parking lot to skate this afternoon, and now…” She looked up, her wide hazel eyes confused. “Did I do something?”

Inhaling deeply, Marcus tried to figure out what to say. He didn’t want to seem like a conceited idiot by telling her that he thought she had a crush on him, and he was trying to stop that before she really started to like him. But honestly, there was no other explanation he could give. “This is going to sound awful,” Marcus began, giving Janette a wry smile. “It’s just that, this morning, I got the feeling that you might… you might like me. As in like me, like me. Wow, that sounded lame,” he let out a small laugh of discomfort.

The bright red color that rose in Janette’s cheeks affirmed Marcus’s assumption. “So, you wouldn’t be interested in me, then…” she said softly, a look of embarrassment across her face.

“No, that’s not it,” Marcus put his hand on top of hers, and she looked up into his face. “Janette, you are a really cool girl. And really, really beautiful. It’s just that I’m not dating anyone for the time being. I have a lot of stuff on my plate right now, and I’m still dealing with a boatload of issues from my past. But if I did want to see anyone right now,” he gave her a charming smile. “I would definitely be interested.”

Janette’s face softened, and she gave Marcus a small grin. “That’s nice of you to say,” she told him. “I guess I don’t feel as dumb this way.”

“Don’t feel dumb at all. Please,” Marcus begged. “Come on, anyone watching us right now would say I’m the idiot, turning down knockout like you…” The blush that colored Janette’s cheeks this time wasn’t from embarrassment but from flattery. “Listen, I will be out of here in fifteen minutes. Could we go get a slice of pizza or something?”

“I’d like that,” Janette smiled. “I’ll wait outside.”

“Okay,” Marcus grinned, although inside he was berating himself. He really was exhausted, but he didn’t want to offend Janette. She really was a sweet girl, and perhaps if he were interested in dating… But no, that had been a lie. In truth, when Marcus did finally feel comfortable enough to start seeing someone, he knew it would be someone completely different from the sweet, simple Janette. It would be someone intelligent, and opinionated, and challenging. Someone who would constantly keep him on his toes and make him work to be a better person.

And one day in the future, Marcus hoped to find that girl.

-----

“You have got to be kidding me,” Michelle said to herself a couple weeks later. She was supposed to meet Sean in the college’s café for coffee between classes, but when she arrived there, she was taken by surprise. Sean was already there, sitting at a table laughing and talking with Marcus. Begrudgingly, she walked over to them.

“Hey, Shell,” Sean greeted her. “How are you doing?”

“Um, I’m fine,” Michelle said, not trying to hide the annoyed note in her voice as she sat down. “And don’t call me Shell. I hate it, and you know that.”

“I see you are in your usual good mood,” Marcus teased. “Too much studying, maybe?”

“Not enough sex is more like it,” Sean mumbled under his breath. As he expected, Michelle reached over and smacked his arm. “I’m just kidding. You’d be like this whether or not you were getting laid.”

Knowing her face was bright red, Michelle smacked Sean again, this time harder. She hated that Marcus was watching this all with a wide, cocky grin. She hated that he was getting a laugh at her expense.

Marcus looked at Sean admiringly. Sean was the only person he had ever seen Michelle seem even a little bit comfortable with. It bothered him that he even cared what she thought of him, but it did. He guessed that he had gotten a little too comfortable with how people treated him because of his looks, charisma and quick wit. Michelle wasn’t even slightly impressed by any of it, and in some sick vain way, he wanted to win her friendship, just to prove that he could. He didn’t like himself for this, but he knew it was true.

“Should I go?” Michelle finally found her voice again. “Am I interrupting? Or were you two looking forward to your ‘Pick on Michelle’ game?”

“I’m sorry,” Marcus said, his voice sincere. “We were just teasing. Please, stay. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?”

Michelle was about to tell Marcus not to, but Sean answered first. “She takes hers light and sweet,” he said, and Michelle watched helplessly as Marcus rose to get the drink for her.

Glaring, Michelle felt a great deal of hostility towards Sean. “Why did you do that?” she hissed. “Why are you even sitting with him? You guys don’t have any classes together, and you have nothing in common.”

Looking a little annoyed himself, Sean shook his head. “How do you know we don’t have anything in common?” he asked. “What do you know about Marcus? Really? Come on, tell me.”

Faltering a little, Michelle glanced across the café to look at Marcus, who was pouring coffee for her. “Jesus, Sean, just look at him. He’s like everyone we went to high school with – everyone that called me a loser and called you a fag.”

Following Michelle’s glance across the room, Sean disagreed. “You are being as judgmental of him as other people are when they judge you or me without knowing us,” Sean’s tone was disapproving. “Yes, the boy could be a model. I get that he’s suave and cocky – God, I would be ten times worse than him if I looked like that. But, Shell, he’s nice. He’s really nice. Why are you so adamant about him?”

Watching as Marcus paid for the coffee he was buying for her, Michelle furrowed her brows. What exactly was it that made her want to dislike him so much? “I don’t know,” she finally said, her voice childish and obstinate. “I just don’t like him.”

“Here you are, Michelle,” Marcus put the coffee in front of her and smiled. “One apology, light and sweet.”

“Thank you,” Michelle said, not meeting his eyes. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“No problem,” Marcus’s demeanor was easy and light. “So, have you decided where you’re going to volunteer?” Seeing the confused look on Sean’s face, Marcus explained what he meant. “It’s part of our Intro to Psych class. We have to do twenty hours volunteer work before the end of the semester.”

“I actually do volunteer work already, but I’m not sure if I want to do something else for this project,” Michelle admitted, and Marcus bit back a smile. It was one of the first truly honest and non-hostile things she had said to him. “I tutor women working on their GED, but there’s this retirement home not far from my house I’m considering working at. Have you decided?”

Shaking his head, Marcus really wasn’t sure. “There’s a few places I have thought about, but…” His words faded off. Marcus had been considering volunteering at an in-house residence for teenagers with drug problems, but he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to do that yet. It would force him to look at a part of himself he was still dealing with on a daily basis. “I figure I still have a little time to decide.”

For the first time since Michelle had met him, Marcus looked unsure. His bright eyes had clouded over, and he was frowning. He had obviously been thinking about this project deeply, and she was impressed. “You definitely have time,” she said supportively.

Surprised by the friendly tone in Michelle’s voice, Marcus looked up at her. This time, she met his gaze and gave him a small smile. Smiling back at her appreciatively, Marcus nodded. “Yeah, we still have, like, two months.”

Glancing between the two people he was sitting with, Sean smiled. “There is definitely a spark here,” he thought to himself happily. He had been friends with Michelle for longer than he could remember, and he knew he was the only person she really trusted. It upset him that years of being teased for being a gangly child, an over-achiever, and from a poor household had made her closed-off and distrustful of other people. He liked the glint that this beautiful enigmatic boy brought out in her.

“So, listen, Marcus,” Sean made a rash decision. “It’s still, like, two weeks away, but I was planning on having a Halloween party.” He saw the annoyed look on Michelle’s face, but forged forward. “Nothing big – my apartment’s not that big – but just some cool people hanging out. And don’t worry, you don’t have to wear a costume if you don’t want to…”

“I’m not sure,” Marcus began, but saw the look of disappointment on Sean’s face. “I mean, I’d love to, I just…” Thinking about it, he realized that he really didn’t know either of these people. He didn’t feel comfortable explaining how he hadn’t been to a real party in years, since he had quit drugs and drinking. “I, um, I’d just need to check my work schedule. But if I’m off, I’m there.”

Looking unsure of Marcus’s response, Sean nodded. “Well, it’d be on the Friday night before Halloween.” He had a sinking feeling in his stomach. “Just let me know…”

“Marcus!” A loud voice called out, and Michelle looked over. Two boys were walking over, both of them very attractive. “How you doing, man?”

Rising, Marcus put out his hand and did that weird handshake/half-hug thing Michelle hated guys doing. “Tony, Luke, hey.” He looked over at the people sitting at the table. “Hey, these are my friends, Sean and Michelle. Guys, this is Luke, and this is Tony. Tony and I were in high school together.”

“Hey,” Tony said in a friendly way. Luke stood back, looking less comfortable and not saying anything. “You were in my Spanish class last year, right?” Tony asked Sean.

Looking much more comfortable than he had a minute ago, Sean nodded. “Yeah, that’s right.”

“Listen, I don’t mean to be a bitch,” Tony turned his attention back to Marcus. “But I was hoping you could show Luke that kickflip you did…”

Marcus was about to object, but Sean interrupted. “Don’t worry about us,” he said easily. “Go on.”

Looking uncertain, Marcus glanced over at Michelle to gauge her reaction, but she was staring at her coffee cup like it was incredibly interesting. “Well, okay…” he said uncomfortably. “I’ve got class in about half an hour, though.”

“No problem,” Tony smiled. “I do, too.”

Rising from the table, Marcus grabbed his messenger bag and threw it over his shoulder. Michelle was still staring downward, causing words to start tumbling from Marcus’s mouth. “You know what, Sean? If I’m scheduled to work, I’ll switch shifts. I’d love to come to your party.”

Looking up in surprise, Michelle glanced over at Sean, who was smiling. “Awesome. I’ll give you the details next time I see you.”

“Perfect,” he smiled. “And I’ll see you in class, okay, Michelle?”

“Whatever,” she said, looking into his eyes and giving him a hard look.

Shaking his head, Marcus followed Tony and look out of the café and towards the parking lot.

-----

“So you’re going to a fag party?” Luke asked with a disapproving glare when the guys had gotten out of the cafeteria.

“Back off,” Marcus said immediately, raising his eyebrows. He didn’t know Luke very well, but he wasn’t about to put up with anything like that. “Sean’s a really cool guy.”

“Whatever,” Luke sneered, shrugging his shoulders. “If you feel like having a bunch of gay guys hitting on you all night…” He started walking ahead of the other two towards the small group that had gathered in the parking lot.

Seeing Marcus’s whole body tense, Tony put a hand on his shoulder and stopped him. “Don’t pay attention to Luke,” he told Marcus, giving him a small grin. “He’s an asshole. That Sean kid seems nice.”

Taking a deep breath, Marcus looked appreciatively at Tony. While they had never been very close in high school, they had always gotten along. He remembered that Tony had hadn’t really had many girlfriends throughout their time together in school, being more shy with girls than most six-foot-three athletic guys were. And that, even though he had been a successful football player, he had never fallen in with the stupidity of the ‘popular crowd’. Nodding, Marcus forced himself to calm down. “I don’t like Luke,” he said in a low voice.

“Not many people do,” Tony laughed, making Marcus feel more at ease. “Come on. You have the opportunity to make him feel like a loser. Let’s do it.”

-----

“I can’t believe you invited him to your party,” Michelle was seething. “Why the hell did you do that?”

“Um, because I think he’s a cool guy,” Sean said, a smile playing on his lips. “And because you have a full-fledged crush on him.”

“I do not!” Michelle yelled louder than she had expected, causing several students to turn from their tables to look over. “I do not,” she repeated in at a lower volume, heat rising to her cheeks. “I can’t stand him.”

“Then you’re stupid,” Sean said plainly, brining forth a look of shock on Michelle’s face. “He obviously likes you.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Michelle said through clenched teeth. “Maybe somewhere deep down, he wants to fuck me or something, to prove that he can beat the Ice Princess, but he has no interest in me otherwise…”

“Why not?” Sean asked gently. “Why isn’t it a possibility?”

Blushing deeply, Michelle looked at her hands. “Because guys like that don’t have interest in girls like me.” It wasn’t often that Michelle admitted her low self-esteem, but she couldn’t stop herself now. Looking up, she locked Sean’s gaze. “Have you seen the girls following him around campus?”

“I have, actually,” Sean admitted in a soft voice. “And I haven’t seen him look back at any one of them the way he looked at you today.”

“Don’t do this, Sean,” Michelle surprised herself with the lump she felt in her throat. “Don’t go making me think that someone like him could actually like me, because it’s not true…”

Reaching across the table when he saw Michelle’s eyes glass over, Sean took her hand. “Of course he could,” he told her gently. “How many times have I told you that if I were straight, I’d be all over you?”

Laughing, Michelle wiped at her eyes with her free hand. “Great,” she laughed. “I’ll spend my whole life knowing that if you had any interest in having sex with someone without a penis, it would be me.”

Shaking his head, Sean let out a chuckle. “You’re a great person, Shell,” he said affectionately. “Stop trying to hide it.”

-----

When someone knocked at his apartment door the night of Sean’s party, Marcus was surprised. He opened it and was even more shocked to see Tony standing there. He knew he had mentioned that he was going to the party earlier that day.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Marcus asked, gesturing to let Tony in. “Is everything alright?”

Tony entered the small apartment and was staring at the floor. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he said, blushing. “And I know you have this party to go to and everything…”

Leading him to the kitchen, Marcus gestured towards a seat at the table. “What’s up, Tony?”

“This is going to sound really bad,” Tony began nervously. “But I was wondering… Do you think it would be okay if I came to the party with you?”

Unable to hide his surprise, Marcus looked at Tony. “I don’t think it would be a problem,” he replied. “But I don’t think you’ll know very many people there.”

Using visible effort to look up at Marcus, Tony tilted his head nervously. “But it’s Sean’s party right?” he asked. “He’ll be there?”

Understanding suddenly overtook Marcus, and he sat down across from Tony. “Yeah, he’ll definitely be there,” he gave him an encouraging grin.

“Nobody knows this-” Tony started to say.

“I don’t care, Tony,” Marcus interrupted.

Letting out a deep breath, Tony nodded. “I didn’t think you would,” he said, his voice shy. “It’s just… people can be assholes.”

“Come on,” Marcus grinned. “Let’s get going.”

“Thanks, Marcus,” Tony smiled as he rose. As Marcus went to grab his jacket, Tony got a little bolder. “So, do you know if Sean has a boyfriend?”

“Not that I know of,” Marcus laughed, picking up his keys. “But let’s go find out.”