Starting Over

On Tuesday, Catherine was headed towards the lunchroom when she heard a deep voice call out her name. “Wait up,” Batey asked, breaking into a jog to catch up with her. “So how are you doing?” he asked with an easy smile.

“I’m good,” Catherine admitted happily. When she had gotten home the night before, her parents had been delighted to hear how well rehearsal had gone. She told them all about Emma and the other cast members. The only thing she had left out was any mention of James. There was no need to worry them right now. “How are you doing?” she asked Batey back.

Grinning, Batey threw a friendly arm around her shoulder. “Better now, knowing we have lunch together. Will you sit with us, or do you have plans already?”

Appreciative of the invitation, Catherine shook her head. She had been sitting alone during lunch for the last few weeks, and it had been getting excruciating. “No, that would be great,” she replied.

“Good,” Batey told her. “James will be very happy.” He gave her a smirk before adding, “He was talking about you this morning… something about a date on Friday?”

Blushing, Catherine nodded. “Yeah, just dinner, I think.”

“Well, watch out for him,” Batey said over-exaggeratedly, trying to make his voice sound joking, although Catherine could tell there was a serious undertone to it. “He’s my best friend, but he can be a cad with the ladies.”

“Like I told him last night,” Catherine joked back. “None of you know me, so I may be the one who turns out to be the bad seed or the heartbreaker.”

Letting out a warm, infectious laugh, Batey nodded. “I wouldn’t be surprised,” he told her. “You’ve got that air of the beautiful, quiet girl with a whole bunch of tricks up her sleeve. I guess I’ll have to keep an eye on you.”

“I guess so,” Catherine grinned back, as they approached a cafeteria table where James was sitting. Feeling her cheeks heat up slightly when he looked up and greeted her with a surprised but pleased expression, Catherine begged herself to stay calm and friendly.

“Look who I found,” Batey said proudly.

“Hey,” James greeted her, closing the book he’d been looking at. “Sorry, I was just cramming for a test I have next period. How are you doing?”

“I’m good,” Catherine said, taking a seat across from him. Batey was smiling amusedly at them for a moment, his arms crossed in front of his chest. James looked up at him and gave him the middle finger. Laughing, he turned without saying anything else and headed towards the lunch line.

“You know, you took me by surprise a little last night,” James grinned. “I’ve spent half the morning trying to see if I could figure you out. Quiet one moment, confident the next. Laughing at me when I go to kiss you, and then kissing me a minute later. I’m not sure what to make of you.”

“I guess that’s one of the few perks of being the new kid,” Catherine told him. “I get to have this air of mystery. Nobody knows anything about me yet.”

“Yet being the formative word,” James replied. “So we’re still on for Friday, right?”

“Right,” Catherine nodded. She reached into her bag and pulled out a sandwich. “You’re not eating?” she asked James.

“Look, the shoe has moved to the other foot,” he grinned. “Yesterday, you nearly bit my head off for saying almost the same thing to you.”

Blushing lightly, Catherine nodded. “I’m sorry about that,” she said as she unwrapped her sandwich. “It’s just… I have always been thin, and… and I used to get teased for it, so I’m a little sensitive.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was enough. She bit into her sandwich and looked up at James.

“Understood. No teasing about your weight,” James nodded. “Anyway, I brought something for lunch but I ate it second period. And nothing in that lunch line looks even slightly appetizing. I’ll grab something after school.”

At that moment, Batey walked up with a tray piled high with food. Unlike James, he didn’t seem put off by the menu selections. “So, Catherine,” he said, picking up a hamburger. “I know you and James have had a bit more time to talk than we have, so tell me about yourself.”

Normally, questions like that made Catherine nervous, but Batey’s expression was so friendly and his voice so inviting, she began answering without too much worry. “Ok, like I said, I’m from Long Island. I’m an only child. I love to sing, but I haven’t done much besides choir. Um, apparently I’m really boring when I talk about myself…”

Laughing, Batey shook his head. “Nonsense,” he grinned. “It was unfair of me to put you on the spot like that.”

Catherine took another bite of her sandwich as she studied the boys in front of her. They seemed so different that it was a wonder that they were friends. Yet they both had some amazing qualities that shone through right when you met them. With James, it was his confidence and wit. With Batey, it was his friendliness and warmth. Together, they seemed to complement and balance each other out.

They all sat in amiable silence for a few moments, with Catherine and Batey finishing their lunches and James glancing through his textbook again. Catherine began looking around the room, recognizing some people from some of her classes. As she turned back to the people she sat with, she was caught off-guard to see James staring at her with those intense blue eyes and giving her a smile that somehow managed to convey both sweetness and cockiness at the same time.

“Well, I should probably go now,” Catherine said abruptly, standing up. Both James and Batey looked surprised. “I, um… I forgot a book in my locker. I’ll see you guys later.”

Hurrying out of the lunchroom and into the hallway, Catherine paused to catch her breath. Why had she just freaked out like that? Was it just the fact that James’s grin had affected her pulse in a way only one person had done before? “He’s not Marcus, you idiot,” she told herself. “He might look like him, but he’s not. Geez, be normal, please.”

-----

Going to the park after school had turned out to be the best way for Catherine to calm down. Emma, John, Sandy and Dennis took her to a small park within walking distance of the school. They walked and talked, finally sitting down on the bank of a stream. John was jumping from one side of the bank to the other repeatedly. “You have to get tested for ADD,” Dennis teased his friend.

Shaking his head, John disagreed. “No, I can concentrate just fine,” he said seriously and sat down next to Dennis. “Do you like Monty Python?” he asked Catherine, causing everyone to laugh at his immediate change in subject matter.

“Yeah,” Catherine told him. “But why?”

“What better way to get to know someone than by asking questions?” John told her plainly.

“Fair enough,” Catherine smiled. Then they sat around, asking questions and telling Catherine about themselves and stories about other people from school. They stretched out as they chatted. Emma lay on her side and Sandy rested her head on her leg. Dennis lay back in the grass, and Catherine decided to do the same, but didn’t realize John was behind her. As her head hit his knee, she blushed and apologized, but John insisted she lean on him.

It was a very comfortable afternoon, and for the first time in what must have been almost two years, Catherine felt like a normal teenager. Dennis was doodling on Catherine’s notebook, drawing a beautiful flower. Emma was now braiding Sandy’s hair, and Catherine twisted a dandelion in her fingers as she rested her head on John’s lap and watched from below as he animatedly told her about seeing his favorite band play live recently.

As the sun started to set, everyone got quiet – even John. Catherine looked over at the water running through the stream, over rocks and around small plants. She didn’t want to leave this feeling behind, but with night coming she shivered with a chill. As she sat up, John quickly slid off his hooded sweatshirt and slipped it over her shoulders. “No,” Catherine insisted. “Please, you’re in a t-shirt.”

“I never get cold,” John told her shrugging. They all started standing up and gathering their things. As the group started heading out of the park, John turned to everyone. “I don’t have a car and I live close, so I’m going to walk from here, if it’s okay.”

“Same goes for me,” Catherine said, looking at the group that was heading back to the school parking lot to get their cars.

“Okay, then, we’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Emma smiled.

Catherine waved happily and fell into step with John, who was talking about music again. He asked her about the types of music she liked, and they argued over some artists. John constantly made dumb jokes and had Catherine laughing hard as they arrived in front of John’s house. “I only live a few blocks away,” she told him, going to take off his jacket to give to him.

“Then I’ll walk you,” John smiled eagerly. Before Catherine could even argue, he was heading down the street. Catherine found it easy to talk to John. Yes, he was loud and liked to be the center of attention when they were in big groups. But one-on-one, he was very funny, he asked a lot of questions, and he had an extremely endearing way about. “So, if you like The Killers, you’ll definitely like this band I’m going to see on Sunday. It’s a day gig, a bunch of local bands, but it should be fun, if you want to come.”

“That does sound fun,” Catherine smiled. She didn’t know what it was exactly about John, but he made her feel more comfortable with herself than she had in a long time, and she wanted to spend more time with him. “We’ll make definite plans at rehearsal tomorrow, okay? Oh, this is my house.”

Giving Catherine a genuinely happy smile, John nodded. She noticed that his smile was very straight and white, like a movie star’s, even though with his sandy hair falling into his eyes and his goofy demeanor, he was far more adorable than he was handsome. Still, the calm smile gave him an air of attractiveness she hadn’t noticed earlier. “Thanks again for lending me your jacket,” Catherine told him as she slid out of it and handed it to him.

“Anytime,” John smiled. “Goodnight.”

Walking inside, Catherine glanced out the door at John’s retreating figure. She was glad she had gotten the chance to know him alone. He made her feel good about herself, and about her life, in a way she couldn’t really explain.

-----

“Are you all trying to upset me?” Mr. Martin asked in the middle of rehearsal the next day. “Do you want to see a grown man weep? Because that is the only reason I could think of that the lot of you are performing so badly.”

Catherine was getting used to her eccentric director. He insulted everyone as one big group, although he walked around and complemented individuals quietly throughout the rehearsal. During a break, he had even approached Catherine and told her that her voice was strong, distinctive and lovely. Then he turned away before she could respond.

“That’s Martin for you, hits you with a compliment and then runs,” James told her, approaching from behind. “Hey, do you want to sneak out for a smoke? We still have about ten minutes.”

Looking over her shoulder at Mr. Martin, Catherine bit her lip nervously about getting in trouble during the second rehearsal. She didn’t have time to make a decision though, because as soon as Mr. Martin turned his back, James grabbed her hand and dragged her behind the curtains to the side-stage. She giggled as she followed him down a hall and out a side door, which was propped open with a chair. Once outside, James gave her a big grin. “Sorry, you just have to move quickly with Martin, or he’ll catch you.”

“I didn’t even get to grab my cigarettes from my coat,” Catherine explained. Taking the cigarette James offered graciously, she smiled. “Thanks.” After he lit her cigarette, she continued. “You know, you really do have a great voice.”

“Thanks,” James replied. “So, I was wondering, do you want to go home after rehearsal on Friday or just go out from here?” Rehearsals took place three days a week from three to five.

“Ah, let’s live dangerously and just go from here,” Catherine laughed, although she was relieved that she wouldn’t have to worry about James showing up at the door and her parents answering.

“Dangerously, huh?” James smiled back. “Well, I was thinking Italian food and a movie, but maybe I ought to revise that plan.”

“Absolutely,” Catherine told him, giving him a mockingly serious expression. “I need intrigue… mystery… espionage would possibly be nice.”

“Espionage?” James cracked a grin. “Yes, we can spy on Martin. You know, see how he lives at home. I have a feeling he has some sort of creepy double life.”

“Like at night he moonlights as a bouncer at an S&M club?” Catherine joked. “In full gimp garb?”

“Oh, no, I just got a visual,” James smiled, closing his eyes. “Make it stop!”

Catherine looked at James cracking up in front of her. Already she could tell that there were innumerable ways that he was unlike Marcus. First and foremost, he could laugh at himself, which Catherine found to be a very endearing quality in someone who also seemed to be almost vain. Right now, his black hair had fallen onto his forehead and his eyes were dancing from laughing so hard, and he looked even better than when Catherine had first met him. With his defenses down, he was beyond attractive.

Dropping their cigarettes and heading back toward the auditorium, James watched Catherine walk in front of him and he smiled. He hoped that the date would go well. There was something about this girl. Not that he hadn’t been out with tons of beautiful girls in the past, but Catherine seemed to be some weird combination of strength and vulnerability, arrogance and self-consciousness, sincerity and playfulness, innocence and sensuality. He felt like she would keep him on his toes.

-----

After rehearsal, Catherine joined Emma and John, who were sitting on the edge of the stage. “Hey, we’re going out for coffee,” John told her. “Want to come?”

“I’d love to,” Catherine replied honestly. “But I have to go home and do some work-”

“Bye, Cath,” James called to her across the room as he and Batey were headed out. He was waving and had a goofy grin on his face.

Waving back, Catherine flushed with a moment of contentment, but when she turned around, Emma and John were giving her weird looks. “What, he was just saying bye,” Catherine said, blushing even more.

“Yeeeah,” Emma said sarcastically. “That’s all it was.”

“Listen, I know you don’t like James,” Catherine began, wanting to be honest and up front with her new friends. “But I think he’s… nice. Harmless at worst. And he asked me out for Friday, and I said yes.”

John paled a little, but recovered quickly. “You know, whatever,” he said, not looking in Catherine’s eyes. “Just, like, try to avoid bringing him around to stuff we all do together.” Then he looked like he suddenly thought of something. “So, are you still going to go to the show with me Sunday?” he asked.

“Of course,” Catherine said, surprised that John was even questioning that. “Listen, I actually have no intention of seriously dating this year. This is just… for fun. But I’m really looking forward to Sunday, John.”

“As you should,” John nodded, his normal exuberance returning. “Because it is going to rocking, as rock shows tend to be. Perhaps we will even boogie.”

Laughing, Catherine’s shoulders relaxed a little. “Yes, let’s hope there will be boogying had by all.”

-----

In the parking lot after rehearsal on Friday, James and Catherine sat on the hood of his car and had a cigarette. “So what sort of excitement do you have planned for the evening?” she asked. “Knocking over a 7-11? Going to a mafia gathering? Cow tipping?”

“You do realize we live in northern Virginia, right?” James smiled back. “DC is like 20 minutes that way. We don’t have cows just, you know, walking around.”

“Ah,” Catherine said. “I see I shall learn many great things from you, teacher.”

It had been hard to figure out what to do with Catherine on their date. James didn’t want to bore her; he wanted to do something outrageous. Of course, he couldn’t think of a single thing, so at Batey’s advice, he’d planned something simple and sweet. “Jump in,” James told her. “It’s a surprise.”

They talked easily on the car ride. Each time James made one of his normal sarcastic jokes, Catherine was right on him, calling him on any bullshit. He liked that about her.

“We’re here,” James said, pulling into the parking lot of a playground. Catherine followed him curiously once he had taken a bag out of his backseat. Walking past the swing set and slide, he led them to a small field behind it and pulled a blanket out of the bag, spreading it out. Then he sat on the blanket, and began pulling out food from the bag: sandwiches, chips, sodas. “Take a seat.”

Biting her lip, Catherine sat down. This wasn’t at all what she had expected, but it was incredibly thoughtful. “This is great,” she told James honestly. “Oh, are you blushing?” she teased. “You are, you’re blushing!”

“Shut up,” James grinned at her. “Or you don’t get anything to eat.”

“Okay, I promise,” Catherine put out her hands, and he gave her a sandwich. “So tell me more about yourself,” she said after she had unwrapped her sandwich. “All I know is that you sing well, you think a lot of yourself and you’re a dick to girls.”

”Gee,” James cracked. “I can see you think a lot of me.”

”No, I’m sorry,” Catherine replied sincerely. “I was just teasing. Tell me something about you…”

“Well, I’ve got one sister, she’s in your class and she’s a bitch,” James said. He was a senior. “Her name is April. Avoid her at all costs… um, I’ve lived here all my life. My dad thinks I’m gay, since I’m in theater, not sports, so, you know, great relationship there.”

“So ever have a real girlfriend?” Catherine asked, and immediately blushed. Why had she brought that subject topic up?

“A couple, but they never lasted more than a few months,” James admitted. “And you?”

“I… had one boyfriend. Two years.”

”Shit,” James said, his eyebrows raising in surprise. “That’s a long time.”

“Yeah,” Catherine blushed. “It ended badly.”

Nodding sympathetically, James finished his sandwich and spread out on the blanket, propping himself up on one elbow. “Sounds like you don’t want to talk about that,” he noticed.

“Nah,” Catherine said. “It’s in the past. Why dwell?”

“Right,” James smiled. “And we’re here now.”

Catherine finished her sandwich and lay down on the blanket as well, on her back looking up at the sky. It was autumn, so it everything was already getting blanketed in black. “This is nice,” she told James, looking over at him.

James was staring at Catherine’s face. He liked how her big green eyes constantly seemed to be moving, taking in everything around her. He also like how her cheeks turned pink when she saw him looking at her. “You know, on Monday, you said I couldn’t kiss you without asking…”

“Are you asking?” Catherine smirked, willing the heat from her cheeks.

“No,” James replied suddenly, catching Catherine by surprise. “No, first, come with me,” he told her, standing up quickly and putting out his hand to help her up. “Take a seat,” he said when they got to the swings.

Laughing, Catherine did as she was told. James came behind her and pushed her. Then he sat on the swing next to hers and watched as she glided through the air, her auburn hair swaying out behind her. They did this for several minutes in silence, Catherine swinging and looking up as the stars began to appear in the ever-darkening sky, and James watching her. Finally, Catherine slowed her swing down and brought it to a stop. She looked over at James. “Thanks… for this,” she told him sweetly.

“No problem,” James smiled. “Now I’m going to ask you if I can kiss you.”

Nodding, Catherine leaned towards James. Their mouths came together, beginning with soft, chaste kisses. Then he ran his tongue slowly along her bottom lip until she parted her lips. He nibbled on her bottom lip before sliding his tongue gently into her mouth, exploring her tongue. From their seated positions on the swings, it was impossible to touch each other, making the kiss very innocent and sweet. Finally pulling back, James gave Catherine a smile. “I liked that,” he said. “And I like you.”

Feeling her heartbeat in her chest, Catherine looked at James sadly. “I like you, too,” she said, biting her lip and thinking momentarily about how nice the kiss had felt. “I just… I just have to let you know that I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”

“That’s usually my line,” James laughed. “No, it’s okay,” he told her more seriously. “I like spending time with you. I’m not looking for anything else, either.”

“Anything else?” Catherine repeated. “Because, I’m talking about no serious relationship either emotionally… or physically.”

“As long as you’re okay kissing me like that,” James smiled. “I’m okay.”

-----

Catherine had spent all day Saturday doing homework, and stayed in with her parents watching movies on Saturday night, which made them happy. “So what are your plans for tomorrow?” her mother asked her. “More studying?”

“No, I’m going to a show… a concert with my friend, John,” she told her.

”John?” her mother asked nervously. “Like… a date?”

“No,” Catherine smiled, shaking her head. “Like a friend. Just wait until you meet him when he picks me up. You’ll like him.”

-----

Catherine was right. When John showed up at her house the next day, her parents immediately liked him. He was goofy and told bad jokes; he did not seem threatening at all. “So I’ll have her back by Tuesday,” John told Catherine’s mother. “Or eight. One or the other.”

The show was a lot of fun. When a pit had formed for one band, John had dragged Catherine into it. When they got out, they were sweaty and gross. “I need water,” she told him.

“Coming through, coming through,” John called out. “Lady with a baby.”

”Don’t say stuff like that,” Catherine laughed. “I’m new here. All I need is for people to think that I’m knocked up.”

Of course, this just made John drop to his knees and put his ear on her stomach. “Aw, I can hear it, it’s saying ma-ma,” he said loudly, making Catherine crack up.

John was a lot of fun. When the band they had come to see actually came on stage, he insisted they move up towards the stage, but he protectively put Catherine in front of him. As he bounced around, singing along with every word, Catherine wondered why she had taken to him so quickly. “Probably because he’s nothing like my friends in New York,” she thought to herself. “Especially Marcus.”

After the show ended, John insisted on going around to the booths. He only wanted to buy one shirt, but he looked at everything closely. “Excuse me,” he said to one girl who was selling things in a booth, using a fake British accent. “Does this come in a thong?” He was holding up a hat. The girl, who didn’t look amused, just turned away from him.

On the way home, Catherine asked John to drop the car off at his house and walk her home. “It’s nice out, and it’s still early,” she said, and he agreed.

They only lived three blocks apart, but John walked Catherine up and down streets in their development, pointing out houses. “There’s a crazy old Russian lady who lives there,” he pointed at one house. “She’s really nice, but she doesn’t speak a word of English. But she will talk to you in Russian for as long as you’ll listen. When she first moved here, I listened to her for twenty minutes before I realized she couldn’t understand a thing I was saying. It was nice.”

Finally arriving at her house, Catherine smiled at John. “I had a lot of fun today,” she told him. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Me too,” John replied in a rare moment of seriousness. “So, are you, like, with James now?” A slow blush crept across his cheeks while he asked.

Surprised by the question, Joanne shook her head. “No,” she said, realizing that John was developing a crush on her. “I… I’m not planning on anything serious this year. It was just a date.”

“So, then,” John smiled nervously. “Then, if I asked you on a date sometime, that would be okay?”

Pausing only briefly, Catherine smiled. “Yeah,” she said. “That would be nice.”

“Awesome,” John nodded, grinning widely. “Rock on then.”

Biting her lip, Catherine waved as John strolled back home. Once inside the house, she sat down and thought about what had just happened.

Did she want to go on a date with John? The truth was, she did. He was fun and free. He made her feel young and happy. And he was definitely adorable to look at. Could I picture myself kissing him? A blush rising in her cheeks, Catherine realized that was very easy for her to imagine – and she liked it.

”So, I told myself I wouldn’t date at all this year,” Catherine reminded herself. “And now I’m ready to date two different guys. Way to leave my reputation back in New York,” she thought wryly before standing up off the couch to go into the kitchen and greet her parents.