Beauty

Connor Reegan looked up as someone called his name and he mentally winced as he saw a familiar blonde man waiting for him at the coffee shop ahead of him. He knew turning around wouldn\'t work. He\'d tried that before and the persistent artist had just followed him. Over the past two weeks he\'d been running into Troy daily, far too frequently to be considered mere coincidence. At first he\'d been annoyed. Why did someone like Troy have to involve himself in Connor\'s life? He didn\'t want that kind of attention. As much as the painter proclaimed him beautiful, Connor didn\'t believe a word of it. Troy was the beautiful one, that was easy enough to see. If he\'d been looking for a date Troy would definitely have been a consideration, but he\'d given up dating years ago. Connor was just a normal person, with enough of his own problems to worry about without having a mad painter stalking him. All he wanted to was to be left alone, to go back to having the painter ignore him like everyone else did.

\"Hey.\" Troy fell in step with Connor as he walked past, his intention to ignore the blonde man\'s existence failing as Troy tried to wind his arm around Connor\'s waist. Connor sidestepped to avoid the move, his reaction almost automatic considering how many times Troy had tired that trick. \"How was your day?\"

The questhad had surprised him the first time Troy had asked, as had the sincerity with which the man had asked it. Normally only his family members bothered to ask things like that. \"It was alright.\" Their actions had become routine, replayed countless times in the short while they\'d known each other. At some point Troy had learned his name and picked up Connor\'s daily routine.

Connor hesitated for a second, as he always did, his token resistance before the manners his mother had instilled in him took over. \"And yours?\"

Troy smiled at him blindingly. \"Much better now that I\'m with you.\"

Connor would have been flattered if he hadn\'t already heard the same line every day for the past two weeks. Besides, he\'d known the comment was empty firsfirst time he\'d heard it. Troy didn\'t care about him, he was probably just trying to get into Connor\'s pants. Why anyone would go to so much trouble just for a quick tumble confused him, buoy doy didn\'t seem like a professional artist to him.

A tug on his sleeve caught his attention and Connor gave Troy a questioning look. Troy pointed to a small coffee shop ahead of them on the other side of the street. \"Let\'s go have a drink. My treat.\"

\"If you wanted coffee, why didn\'t you get some earlier?\"

Troy\'s smile looked like it belonged on a child\'s face, full of innocence that Connor couldn\'t believe was real. \"Because this store has some really delicious cake.\"

Connor sighed. \"You make it sound like I actually have a choice in the matter.\"

Troy smirked at him playfully and grabbed Connor\'s wrist lightly. \"Of course you don\'t.\"

Connor let himself be pulled along. It wasn\'t worth trying to argue over the matter with Troy. Connor knew he\'d lose anyways. He always did.

The line at the coffee shop was a little long. As they waited to order, Connor\'oughoughts took a serious tone. \"Why won\'t you leave me alone?\" His voice was lowered to avoid those near them in line catching the conversation, his tone devoid of emotion.

Troy\'s gaze was fixed on the menu ahead of them as he spoke, and he looked like he was giving his full attention to considering what to order. His tone matched Connor\'s in seriousness. \"Because I want you to be my model.\"

\"You just want to get me in bed.\"

\"That\'s just a secondary goal.\"

Connor snorted and looked away towards the scattered tables inside the shop, not really seeing them. \"And I\'m sure once you got me inside your \'studio\' you\'d just try to molest me.\"

Troy\'s tone changed to one of outrage and Connor c see see the hurt look on the painter\'s face from the corner of his eye. \"Of course not. I\'d never do such a thing.\"

\"I\'ll believe that when you get your hand off my ass.\" Connor belatedly realized his voice had risen back to a normal speaking level when the old lady in front of them half-turned to give them a startled look. Connor looked at the floor with a slight blush.

Troy stuck his hands in his pockets. \"Would it be so bad to step into my studio, just once?\"

Connor\'s answer was automatic. \"Yes.\"

For once Troy looked directly at him without a smile on his face. \"What are you so afraid of?\"

The words were low, heard only by the two of them, but they made Connor freeze in place. What did the painter know about him? Nothing. He had no right to assume.... Realizing he\'d unconsciously clenched his fists, Connor forced himself to relax.

\"I\'m leaving.\"

Connor stepped out of life quickly before Troy could react. As soon as he was out the door, he fled.


*****

Connor was out of breath by the time he got home. He let himself in with a key from his pocket, the lack of cars in the driveway telling him he was the first one home. His mom would still be at the hospital, just getting off the morning shift. His stepbrother Mark would get out of work in two hours, the same times as his stepfather. He took his backpack directly to his bedroom after neatly placing his shoes in a corner of the entranceway. His room was sparse, hardly decorated and mostly devoid of furnishings. His furniture was all made of wood, a light oak that went well with the creamy blue walls and their white trim. His bed was piled with blankets that formed a layer about half as thick as he was. A small bedside table held a sturdy blue lamp, plastic so that it didn\'t break if it accidentally got knocked over. Connor tended to have a lot of accidents. A large closet took up most of the wall opposite the bed, though it was barely half-full of clothing. Everything in it was long sleeved. Connor had stopped wearing shorts and t-shirts a long time ago. He preferred clothing that covered him from head to toe, much to his mother\'s disappointment. She always said he should show off his body more, that he was going to overheat in such heavy clothing, even though Connor never did. The majority of the space in the closet was taken up by boxes filled with items he didn\'t need out in the open for daily use. The only decorations in the room were two pictures hung on the walls, one of a grassy meadow covered with wild flowers and another of a raging waterfall. The pictures were special to him; they\'d been two of the last things his father had bought for him before he\'d died nine years ago. He likhem hem because they relaxed him. Something about them always seemed to calm him. The waterfall one had shattered once when it fell the the wall, but Connor had had it reframed the next day.

Connor removed his laptop from its slot in his backpack, returning the computer to its normal spot on his desk. His textbooks were piled next to it, subjects he had homework in at the top of the stack to be completed before the night was over. He pulled open the first book, a math textbook, and flipped to the pages his homework problems were from. He stared at the first problem without seeing it for several moments, his mind refusing to focus on the text in front of him and instead concentrating on a certain infuriating blonde man.

Giving up with a sigh, he let his head fall to rest on his open math text. It wasn\'t that he didn\'t like the other man. Despite his annoying tendencies, he didn\'t seem like a bad person. He was self-centered, arrogant, and determined to have his own way, but that didn\'t make him bad. Just selfish. Connor smiled to himself. It was kind of endearing, the way Troy followed him around all the time. Even if the other man\'s attention was shallow, it was still nice to have someone paying so much attention to him. It made him feel like he wasn\'t just some insignificant person lost in a crowd.

Connor sighed. If circumstances had been different he might have considered giving in to Troy\'s requests. But he was scared; he had good reason to be. His stepfather did not like homosexuality in any form. He\'d nearly broken up with Connor\'s mother when he\'d found out her son was gay, but they\'d managed to work things out. Connor didn\'t want to do anything to jeopardize his mother\'s happiness, so he\'d sto dat dating after his mother had gotten remarried, telling her he simply didn\'t have anyone he liked at the moment. She kept pushing him to find a nice young man, regardless. But if his stepfather caught him in a relationship... the consequences would not be good. So he had no choice but to stay single. Things were easier for him that way, for many reasons.


*****

\"What\'s a cute kid like you doing alone?\"

Connor ignored the tall blonde painter as he sat next to Connor on the park bench. He had an English text open in his lap, but he doubted he\'d be able to concentrate on it now that Troy had shown up. An arm snaked its way around his shoulders and rested on the back of the park bench. Connor ignored TroyTroy was just trying to get him to react. The best way he\'d found to get rid of annoyances was to ignore them, but for some reason his usual tactics weren\'t working on Troy. Probably because he wasn\'t really trying.

\"Don\'t you have any friends?\"

Connor looked up in surprise at the comment and then quickly looked away. \"That\'s none of your business.\"

Connor felt Troy\'s arm twitch slightly behind his back as the other man shrugged. \"It was just an observation. You\'re always walking alone or studying by yourself every time I see you. Must be lonely, living like that.\"

Connor stared absently at the text and shrugged. \"Not really. You get used to it.\" Connor\'s personality didn\'t make it easy for others to get near him. In high school, he\'d always been described as cold and boring. No one had ever bothered to get close to him, and Connor\'s own poor social skills didn\'t help the matter. He didn\'t know how to handle people, so even if he did try to make friends he\'d just mess everything up. After all his failed relationships in high school, he\'d given up. He was better off alone anyways.

Troy frowned a little. \"What if I was your friend?\"

Connor blushed and glared at the other man, slightly hurt. \"Don\'t make fun of me.\" He closed his textbook with a snap and shoved it into his book bag.

Standing, Connor tried to stalk off but a hand on his wrist stopped him. He whirled to glare at Troy. The serious expression on the other man\'s face muted his anger. \"I\'m not making fun of you.\"

Troy\'s tone was low, sincere. Connor stared at the ground. He wanted to believe the other man, but he seemed so flippant all the time. It ward trd to be certain that he was serious. He didn\'t resist as Troy stood so that their faces were only centimeters apart. Troy studied Connor\'s face, his eyes hard.

\"What are you so afraid of?\"

\"I\'m not afraid of anything.\" It was an empty protest, they both knew it.

Suddenly he was being spun around and forced down on the park bench. Connor didn\'t have a chance to react to the movement. He blinked and found himself sitting on the bench with Troy holding his hands down on the seat of the bench. Troy\'s face loomed above him, their gazes locked. The lack of pressure on his hands surprised him as much as his own sudden breathlessness. His mind went blank and he simply stared at the other man emotionlessly.

\"If you\'re not afraid, then why won\'t you model for me?\" Troy\'s voice was melted honey over cold steel. Ice blue eyes seemed to stare straight through him. \"If you\'re not afraid, then it won\'t be a problem for you to come to my studio, just once.\"

Connor swallowed, hard, and tried to not feel so much like a cornered rabbit. \"Just once, and then you\'ll leave me alone?\"

Troy nodded solemnly.

Connor considered his options, thought about it carefully. If all he had to do was show up at Troy\'s studio once and then he was a free man, why was he waiting? Troy was offering him a chance to escape the other man\'s constant presence, a chance to be free again. He could have the painter gone from his life once more. He could go back to being alone once more. That\'s what he wanted, right?

\"Or are you afraid?\"

There wasn\'t any harm in it. His stepfather couldn\'t object about a single painting.

Connor made up his mind. \"I\'m not afraid. I\'ll do it, once. Only once. Just so I can get you out of my life again.\"

Troy smirked at him and Connor got the distinct impression that he\'d somehow lost, though he wasn\'t sure how.

\"Good.\" Troy pulled away, acting nothing like the man that had pinned Connor to the bench seconds earlier. He dropped a small piece of paper in Connor\'s lap. \"There\'s my card. Stop by sometime tomorrow, whenever you\'re free.\"

Connor glanced down at the small white card, seemingly incongruous with Troy\'s existence in its plain austerity. An address was listed in bold font in the center of the card. Connor looked up to make a comment to Troy but the blonde man was already gone.


*****

Troy smiled as he heard the doorbell ring. That would be Connor, his reluctant beauty, about to step into Troy\'s net. He was looking forward to their session. He had to try and convince Connor to come back to him after just one painting. He had to ensnare the boy enough that Troy could eventually work him to the point Troy wanted him: naked and in bed. Getting him here had been the easy part, once he\'d found which buttons to press to make Connor react. It was like a challenge for him, a contest. Without the challenging element Troy wasn\'t sure if he\'d be as interested. The hunt itself was nearly as good as catching his prey. It added something to the conquest, a sense of triumph and the submission of his prey. In some ways he was more attracted to Connor\'s defiance than anything else, it was a refreshing change from the normal models that jumped at his every whim. Connor was beautiful certainly, but Troy had pretty much any beauty he wanted at his disposal. He wasn\'t in love with Connor. The sheer idea of that was absurd. He just wanted the boy\'s body, wanted to triumph over one of the few people that resisted him.

He wanted to dominate.

Smiling, Troy pulled open the door and ushered Connor into his lavish apartment. He left the door unlocked so that Connor could remain at ease. No need in scarring the boy off too early. Connor was tense, Troy could tell by the stiff way he held himself. Over the past few weeks Troy had become an expert at reading Connor\'s mannerism, not a hard task considering the boy\'s social ineptitude. He didn\'t seem to know how to mask what he was actually feeling.

The boy was interesting, in a strange way. He was shy and polite outwardly, quiet and timid but with an unapproachable exterior as if he held himself away from the rest of the world. And he was never rude unless provoked. The boy\'s temper was a source of amusement for Troy, as buried as it was under the boy\'s cold exterior. He\'d often do something that angered Connor, just so he could see the spark of temper hiding inside him.

The boy looked around awkwardly and Troy stepped forward to lead the young man through his sparse living room and into his spacious bedroom. Connor balked at first, but Troy pointed to the canvas and easel set up to their left. \"Don\'t worry, I\'m not going to molest you. It\'s just easier for me to paint people in here, there\'s more space to work with.\"

The comment was true for the most part; it was easiest for him to work from his bedroom. It also gave him his best chance at seducing Connor. The boy gave him a disbelieving look but he didn\'t protest.

\"Lie down on the bed, facing me, however you feel comfortable.\"

Connor complied wordlessly, lying on the bed stiffly with his nervous eyes glued on Troy. The painter was surprised how docile Connor was being. The boy probably just wanted to get this over with as fast as possible so that he could leave.

\"Are you comfortable?\"

Connor nodded silently.

Walking over to the CD player on his dresser, Troy pressed play. Classical music filled the room, low and soothing. It was designed to help the younger man relax, to calm him enough that Troy could paint a more natural picture.

Connor gave him a quizzical look but said nothing as Troy squirted a bit of creamy blue onto his palette and began recreating the fall of his bed sheets on the canvas before him. Troy concentrated on his work, smiling to himself as he noticed Connor slowly relaxing. He could tell the other man was trying to force himself to stay alert and losing the battle. In the end, the quiet tones of the music had won over Connor\'s consciousness and the boy was asleep before the painting was half finished. Troy was glad he\'d saved the face for last. Connor looked so precious when he was sleeping, the harsh lines of his face washed away to give him a look of innocence and purity. He knew some rich lady was just going to adore the painting, it should fetch him a good price. Troy faded out the background of the painting a bit, adding tones of white to give the piece a more surreal, angelic feel. Smiling to himself, he admired his work and then set it aside to begin his next task.


*****

Connor was dreaming. He\'d never felt this relaxed when he was awake, though he couldn\'t remember the last time he\'d slept so well either. He was warm, cushioned on a blue cloud with a heavy warm blanket on top of him. And there were soft lips pressed against his, a moist tongue demanding deeper access. Dreams like this weren\'t new to him, and he gave in to the other mouth\'s demands, deciding to make the most of his dream before his alarm clock went off.

His arms rose to encircle strong shoulders as he melted beneath an insistent mouth, small noises of pleasure escaping his lips as he felt another man\'s tongue roving through his mouth. The fact that he was on blue sheets seemed odd to him, his sheets should be dark green, but he knew without looking that he was lying on top of blue ones. He ignored that fomomemoment, it was probably just another inconsistency of the dreaming world. His mind went blank as the invading tongue caressed the roof of his mouth, and he shivered. Whoever he was dreaming of was certainly a good kisser.

Hands were trailing over his body now, inside his shirt and along the sides of his legs. His eyes lazily opened to take in the wispy blonde bangs tickling his face and a long blonde ponytail falling over one shoulder to pool on the bed beside them. Blue eyes filled with lust sparkled down at him smugly as they broke apart and Connor gasped for air.

Connor\'s eyes widened as he realized that he wasn\'t dreaming and he tried to push the other man off of him. Troy was.... They had been.... Connor reacted blindly, his first instinct being to run out of there before Troy did something else to him.

His hands were caught before he could struggle free and Troy pinned him to the bed.

\"Get off me.\" The demand sounded weak, even to his own ears.

\"No.\" Troy leaned over him until their noses nearly touched and their breath mingled.

Connor struggled once more, though he knew it was in vain. No amount of force could move Troy off of him. He twisted underneath the painter, trying anything to wiggle his way to freedom, but it didn\'t work.

Panting, he waited to catch his breath before speaking again. \"Please get off me.\"

\"You liked it.\"

\"No.\" That wasn\'t something Connor wanted to think about at the moment.

Troy leaned down so that their lips brushed against each other briefly. His eyes were half-lidand and distracted. \"I\'ll let you go if you can honestly say you didn\'t like that.\"

\"I didn\'t like it.\" Connor knew the words were hollow even as he said them.

\"Say it so that I believe you.\"

Troy\'s mouth descended on him before he could respond. His words were swallowed and he felt himself reacting almost involuntarily to Troy\'s kiss. He was giving in and he knew it. He couldn\'t help it, not when it had been so long since another man had touched him like this, particularly one as gorgeous as Troy. He wanted it too, on some deep level that told his consciousness to take a hike. He reacted, he didn\'t have a choice not to as his body rebelled against him. Troy abandoned Connor\'s mouth to trace wet kisses along his neck. Teeth grazed his earlobe and Connor turned his head to the side to give Troy better access, shivering with pleasure. His hands were released so that Troy could run his hands over Connor\'s body again and Connor gasped, his body awash in so many different sensations.

Troy leaned back with a smirk and Connor used that opportunity to quickly push the blonde painter to the side. Connor was out the door before Troy could voice his protest, the door clicking shut as the painter rose in pursuit. Connor was gone by the time Troy reached the hallway.


*****

Connor walked down the street, his eyes absently scanning the street ahead of him. His eyes strayed to the coffee shop ahead of him, but there was no familiar figure waiting there for him. As he walked past, he couldn\'t help looking inside the shop and intently scanning its patrons. True to his word, Troy had left Connor alone after Connor had modeled for him over a week ago. But now that he was alone, he knew he didn\'t want to be. He kept expecting Troy to pop out and surprise him somehow, kept hoping he\'d turn a corner and find Troy waiting for him.

He should be accustomed to being alone. For the past three years at least he\'d been by himself. It was something he was familiar with. It\'s what he\'d thought he\'d wanted, for his own good. But now that everything was over, he\'d changed his mind. He\'d gotten a taste of something better than what he had and he couldn\'t stop himself from wanting more. He hadn\'t realized how lonely he had been until Troy was gone.

It was strange, thinking of the painter like that. When Troy had been around he\'d been an annoyance, but at least he\'d been there. He was someone who kept Connor company despite how cold and distant Connor could be. He was someone to talk to. Connor even missed the way Troy teased him, confused him, angered him. He felt so many mixed emotions when he was near Troy, and he was only now beginning to sort them out. He didn\'t dislike the painter, he hated himself for wanting Troy around. But it was more than just the other man\'s presence that he wanted.

Turning down a side lane, Connor found the secluded park bench that he often sat at. Sinking down onto the wood and metal, he let his hand rest lightly against his closips.ips. Troy had made his interest in Connor\'s body more than obvious. It was clear in the way he constantly touched Connor, often in very inappropriate ways. But the kisses... they had been something else entirely. He could still remember the heat of Troy above him, their breath mixed, and Troy\'s tongue in his mouth. The memory made him shiver and he blushed slightly. He\'d known he was attracted to the other man from the moment they\'d met, that much was obvious. Who wouldn\'t be attracted to Troy\'s good looks? But he hadn\'t realized how attracted he was until Troy had kissed him. Connor had enjoyed it. A lot. More than he remembered enjoying kissing anyone in high school.

He wanted to be with Troy again. He wanted to go back to having Troy near him, having Troy pay attention to him. But he didn\'t know if Troy still wanted him. Sure the man had said repeatedly how much he wanted Connor as his model, but Connor had always thought that was just a ploy to lure Connor into bed with him. And he\'d gotten Connor in bed, just not the way either of them had thought.

Connor looked down at his hands as they absently toyed with a small white card. Even if Troy still wanted him there was the problem of his stepfather. If he found out.... But how much longer could Connor keep denying himself a relationship? If not Troy, then he\'d eventually find someone else he liked. And his stepfather didn\'t necessarily have to find out. He worked from nine to five, so as long as Connor was home before five then he\'d never know. It was usual for Connor to be out on weekend mornings, normally saying he had a project to work on or that he was studying in the library. He could at least try, right? As long as his stepfather didn\'t find out there was no harm in it, and Connor was very good at hiding things if he wanted to. He\'d had a lot of practice.


*****

Troy turned the TV off anstenstened, wondering if he\'d imagined the sound. He heard a second knock and stood swiftly to answer the door. He was surprised to find Connor standing on the other side of the door, nonchalantly staring off to the side. Troy smiled widely and stepped to the side to let Connor enter if he so chose.

\"Good afternoon.\"

Connor walked in without looking at Troy, his gaze absent. He was silent for several moments and Troy let him take his time.

\"Do you still want me as a model?\"

Troy nodded, though Connor\'s back was to him. Stepping forward, he entwined his arms around Connor\'s chest. Connor tensed, as Troy had expected him to, but he didn\'t step away. \"I do.\"

\"Then I\'ll be your model.\" The younger man relaxed slightly in his arms and Troy let himself grin in triumph.

\"Wonderful!\" Troy let his cheer show in his voice. That meant Connor wasn\'t upset about what Troy had done earlier. Taking the other man\'s presence in his apartment as an invitation, Troy leaned down to kiss Connor\'s neck. He delighted in the shiver and small intake of breath caused by Troy\'s lips on bare flesh, his tongue slipping out to lightly taste Connor\'s skin. He broway way after a second to whisper into Connor\'s ear. \"Does that mean you\'re interested in being more than just my model as well?\"

Troy let his right hand brush across Connor\'s stomach and felt the skin tighten through the fabric of the younger man\'s shirt.

\"Yes.\"

Troy\'s smile widened and he gently spun the boy to face him. One hand tilted Connor\'s chin up so that the boy faced him, half-lidded eyes focusing on Troy\'s own. Troy leaned forward slowly, his own eyes focused on the pink of Connor\'s lips. He stopped a breath short of his goal and felt the other man\'s breathing quicken in excitement. Troy\'s tongue darted out to trace across Connor\'s lips and he placed his hands on Connor\'s shoulders to hold the boy still, felt him tremble as Troy moistened his lips. Both of their eyes drifted shut as Troy pushed his tongue into the other man\'s mouth before bridging the gap between them with sealed lips. Connor melted against him and Troy knew he\'d won. Connor was his now, beyond a doubt. Troy was certain he would enjoy his prize.