A diary of a male nursing student

Unfortunately Richard\'s first step into the utopian paradise that was university life ended up with a foot full of dog shit. Shaking the offending limb until the majority of the dog faeces came off Richard continued to make haste towards the looming buildings in the distance. The place was massive, much larger than his high school filled with its bong smo wan wannabees, and ditsy females that seemed impervious to his sexual allure. He looked at the map that his mother had given him, she worked at the university as well, fortunately for him it was at a different campus. The thoughts of her screaming face filled his mind once again as he heard her voice echoing within his mind, forever haunting his mind.

He looked at his watch. Quarter past 9. Shit! He was already 15 minutes late for his first lecture as he felt his neck tighten, the skin beginning to crawl at the back of his neck. Whenever he got stressed his body got excited and produced too much hormones which caused him to itch uncontrollably. It wasn\'t just stress that triggered the problem either, heat, food allergies, dust. He was a walking itch bomb waiting to explode. He ignored the familiar tingle and proceeded to wander faster through the shadows of the buildings, looking for what he hoped was the lecture theatre as stated on his timetable. He stumbled upon it by accident, after entering a strange new building to cut across it, he came out directly in front of the lecture theatre. The gods must be smiling down on me today; Richard bemused to himself as he quickly jogged towards the building. His backpack jiggled as he ran, bouncing up and down against his behind like a bewildered jockey whipping his horse to run faster. He reached the lecture theatre and walked up to the sliding door. It didn\'t open. He could hear the lecturer dimly through the wall, the lecture had as he guessed started without him. He needed to find a quiet way in so he could slip into the masses without being seen. He didn\'t know how stringent these university lecturer\'s were after all. Hopefully not as bad as his mother, if that were all possible. He made his way around the building until he found a set of stairs leading up. Descending the stairs he came upon a door, \'ah\' Richard thought to himself, \'this must be the back door to the lecture theatre\' sureo ono one will notice me as I slip in discreetly. He looked down at the door.

\"Emergency exit only\"

Richard shrugged his shoulders; he had seen many of these so-called emergency doors being used as normal functioning doors before. He didn\'t think any harm could have come from opening it. He tried the handle, it was stiff and wou't b't budge. \'It must be one of those old stiff ones that haven\'t been used in a while, just needs abit of force to open it up\' Richard thought to himself as he pushed down on the handle with all his might. All of a sudden he heard a crack, like he had just shattered something within the door. This was closely followed by an ear piercing wail, the unmistakable wailing sound of the fire bell. Richard froze, letting go of the accursed handle. He looked around him, nobody haen hen him. Turning on his heel he ran down the stairs as fast as he could; his feet a blur moving as fast as his mind was. He was on his way running out of the building when he almost ran into an elderly looking man walking perpendicular to him. The man stopped him, placing one of his old knarled hands upon his shoulders gripping him tightly.

\'Oh god no, he saw me, this is the end of me, I\'m going to get kicked out of university on my first day here\' Richard thought to himself frantically, contemplating the idea of knocking the old man over so he could make his escape. The old man leaned closer to Richard, his breath smelled of salami and cheese, whilst his body reeked of that perfume that all old men wear... Old spice.

\"Don\'t go running around in the building sonny, just walk like the rest of us. There is no need to panic, it is probably just one of those fire drills again. Just follow me to the evacuation area so they can do a head count. Can\'t see any point in doing a head count since you\'ve come from a lecture, they don\'t count heads there as far as I know...\"

Richard felt the lump in his throat sink back down. He let out a big breath of relief as he followed the knarled old man to the evacuation area. It was quite a long walk, so Richard felt the need to converse with this old man, being sociable so to speak.

\"...Well thankyou, my name is Richard this is my first day here...\"

-\"Richard eh? Pleased to meet you... the name\'s Bill.\" The old man said extending an arm in greeting. Richard shook the hand, Bill\'s grip was strong as he felt like he was trying to crush every single bone in his hand the way he shook. Perhaps he had mistaken the situation as a challenge to an arm wrestle?

\"So do you work here Bill? Are you a gardener or something?\"

-\"Gardener? Heh, what gave you that idea?\" the old man said, hawking and spitting on the ground a mere inch away from Richards foot. Richard discreetly moved an extra foot away from Bill. Before resuming conversation.

\"I dunno.... I just thought...\"

-\"Well as a matter of fact it\'s my first day here as well young Richard. I\'m in the same boat as you.\"

Richard looked at the man dubiously for any signs of senile dementia. His Nanna had signs of it on his dad\'s side. But he didn\'t seem to possess the same characteristics as she did, such as dancing around in her underwear and flashing pedestrians. He also didn\'t seem to be very argumentative needlessly or hard of hearing either. Perhaps he was a professor, going back to university after years in the field to do a course in anthropology, linguistics, or Latin.

\"Really? And what course might you be enrolled in Bill?\"

-\"Well I have always wanted to do this course for such a long time, but I have been very busy up til this time working in the mines as an engineer, I felt I needed a change of career, something fresh...\"

\"Uh-huh\" Definitely anthropology, Richard thought to himself, maybe even chemical engineering.

-\"So I bit the bullet and enrolled myself into being a nurse.\"

\"What?\"

-\"I\'m going to be a registered nurse.\"

\"Really?\"

-\"Yes, I have been holding it back for so long and now is the time to fulfil my dreams. What course are you enrolled in young Richard?\"

Richard hated the way he got called young Richard by this prophylactic old fool. He couldn\'t believe it! THIS OLD MAN, who looked like he was in the early stages of dementia was enrolled in HIS course! Well I guess there would be more females for me then Richard thought to himself, attempting to look at the bright side of this whole fiasco. Richard shook his fist at the sky swearing silently.

-\"Richard?\"

\"Oh, sorry, got lost in a train of thought. I\'m enrolled in nursing as well.\"

-\"Great! We can be study buddies, how old are you Richard?\"

Richard felt the whole world swallow him up as a great darkness fell upon his world.
\"uhmm... 21 this year.\"

-\"21? Wow, that\'s so young, my nephew is turning 21 this year. Yep, he\'s following in his father\'s steps and going to uni, much like me... Ah I remember the days when I was 21 years old I was....\"

Richard zoned out as his gaze came across the figure of a blonde sitting in the evacuation area. She looked like she had just stepped off a cloud and lost her angel wings. Her face radiated natural beauty as her blonde hair cascaded off her shoulders. Her laughter filled the air, the sound like a dozen angels trumpeting triumphantly. It sounded ethereal, as she exuded an aura that glowed, radiating outwards calming him. Richard and Bill made their way to the evacuation area as students chattered amongst themselves excitedly. Bill must have seen something else that took his interest, or he had gotten the hint that Richard didn\'t want to talk to him as he turned away from him, excusing himself as he went. Richard was alone once again, but he was glad to rid of the old man. This gave him a chance to talk to the ethereal beauty radiating a mere 10ft away from him. His tongue was dry as it stuck to the top of his mouth clicking whenever he talked. Adjusting his glasses he made his way over to the blonde goddess in front of him. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as he made his way over to her. She looked up at him and smiled, her dazzling white teeth flashing brilliantly against the sunlight whilst her dazzling azure eye\'s shone; brilliant against the pale complexion of her face. It was like a scene out of a romance movie. He walked up to her confidant, ignoring the itching crawling sensation that threatened to overwhelm his body.

\"Hi.\"

She looked at him quizzically. Her smile dropped and her eyes changed to that of curiosity.

All of a sudden Richard felt a hand rest upon his shoulder and tighten.

\"Hey, there you are young Richard, come over here, I got something to show you...\"

The blonde goddess raised her eyebrow at Richard when Richard continued to stare at her.

-\"I think your dad wants you.\"

Richard was quick to pounce on the situation in a vain attempt to verify the situation. Abit too quick.

\"He\'s not my father, he\'s my.... Uhmm.... Friend... I mean... not friend... uhmm... study buddy.\" Richard finished, his voice getting softer as he realised how sad this actually looked.

The blonde laughed, unfortunately to Richard\'s ears it did not sound the way it did moments ago, the ethereal angelic laughter of innocence and vanity. No, this laughter sounded mockingly harsh. Richard turned away, his cheeks flushing red as Bill led him away excitedly. Leading him to two women standing chatting too each other. By their age they had to be lecturer\'s at the university.

\"Richard, meet Coral and Sue...\"

Richard smiled thinly grasping their soft flabby hands and shaking them.

\"They are first year nursing students here as well! Can you believe it! I haven\'t seen Coral here since I was down at the RSL, and that was 3 months ago. Still baking those delicious brownies?\"
Coral nodded her head enthusiastically.

\"So when I saw these two I thought it would be excellent if we all banded together to study together. Make it a real learning experience.\"

Richard winced.

\"Are you ok Richard? I noticed that nasty rash you have on your neck? Is that eczema? My daughter had that when she was a child. Horrible disease, you must be in so much pain, the itching I hear gets quite unbearable. Have you tried using olive oil?\" Sue said.

Richard nodded mutely. He was sick of people sympathising over him and offering him their diagnoses on his skin conditions. Sue looked the younger of the two; perhaps she was Coral\'s daughter. Perhaps she had a daughter the same age as him Richard thought to himself sarcastically.

\"Oh yes I used to have eczema once\" Bill said hawking and spitting in the grass. Richard had to move his foot to avoid it getting caught in his line of fire. Bill seemed impervious to the fact that he had almost spat upon Richard as he continued to talk.

\"... well at least I thought it was eczema, turned out to be a gonorrhoea. Damn nasty disease, now I got a permanent red rash round my crotch area, really chaffs when I walk and my thighs rub...\"

\"Ok, thanks Bill, I don\'t think we need to hear about your gonorrhoea stories again... \" Coral interjected before he could continue.

Richard and Sue sighed a breath of relief collectively. Richard looked at his watch. It was 11 in the morning. Richard rummaged through his bag until he found his timetable.

\"Well... I had better get going, according to my timetable I have a tutorial now. It was nice meeting you all. I\'ll see you around.\" Richard said.

They all said their goodbye\'s collectively and Richard rushed off. The whole situation made his body tingle, on the edge of itching uncontrollably. He opened his wallet and fished out two anti-histamine tablets, swallowing them dry as he enjoyed the bitter taste slowly slide down his throat. Two minutes later he stood in front of his classroom calm, collected and slightly drowsy. No doubt the effects of the anti-histamine. Shrugging aside the thoughts of Bill and his entourage of study buddies Richard cleared his thoughts. He was ready for anything. It was time to make his fantasy a reality.