Gravity of Love

I can't believe that I just planned a date with someone I hardly knew except for two nights of sex. Although he talked like sex was the last thing on his mind; so what else did he want from me? What could I possibly give to him? I was basically nothing now thanks to Ren but the look in Jon's eyes suggested otherwise. It's not like I didn't want to believe I could be more—I knew I could be—it was just the fear that kept me trapped. Fear of Ren and my life with him but I was also scared shitless of life without him.

I went back to my dressing room to change and was able to get a few hours of sleep before my next set. I rushed on the stage as the music began and I found myself scanning the crowd to see if Jon had stuck around. Just when I was beginning to think that he already left, I spotted him at one of the tables in the back. Shit, but I was actually relieved he had stayed. As I began to dance I kept my eye contact mostly with him, making the dance more personal. I moved my hips, crawled on the floor and twisted this way and that showing just how flexible my body was. Hell, just because sex wasn't supposed to be on his mind didn't mean it wasn't on mine.

Despite cries from the audience I didn't do an encore I usually did and scrambled off the stage in record time. I went back to my dressing room, washed up and changed into a t-shirt and jeans within thirty minutes. Even though I wanted the time with Jon, I was still worried that someone would see me leave with him and all it would take was one little bird landing on Ren's shoulder to start trouble.

I wasn't concerned for just myself, but Jon as well. I could deal with Ren beating me, maybe even killing me, but I couldn't take Jon getting hurt just because of me. Ren was the type of guy to go after someone I cared he knew the biggest knife would be in my chest. He would never truly be out to hurt them but me. That's why he slept with David and turned him against me.

My heart dropped as I remembered the last time I saw him was when we had that nasty argument in this very room. I briefly wondered how he was, but forced myself not to dwell on him too long. I was torn with mixed emotions since David had proved to me, more than once, that I could never really trust him. He found it better to hide behind his masks, becoming a chameleon with everything in his life…even me. The worse part of it was I actually believed he could change and all it would take was the right guy. I even thought that…that…I could have been that guy. Silly, stupid little Gavin.

I shook thoughts of him away and decided to concentrate on enjoying myself with Jon. No sooner than when I turned off the lights there was a soft knocking at the door. Jon had wondered what was taking me so long and came to find me.

"Jeez, do you have no patience?" I teased and yanked the door open. I frowned when I faced an equally dark hallway and no signs of Jon or anyone else. I eased into the dimly lit hallway. "Jon?" Feeling a bit panicked I lowered my voice. "Rick?"

"Rick's already gone, he said you have to lock up the front."

I peeked my head and looked to the right and saw David standing to the right of the door. What the hell?!

"Why did Rick even let you in?" I grumbled angrily and leaned on the wall inside of the room, not wanting to face him just yet.

"He knows I belong to Mannix," he sighed. "Rick had asked Ren about me when I came here that day and we had that fight."

I frowned. "And how do you know that?"

David remained still in the shadows of the hallway and his voice traveled to the doorway like a whisper of a ghost.

"Rick told me. When he saw me he just let me in, told me and…and laughed." There were a few pauses of silence and then. "Gavin, can I at least come in?"

I opened my mouth to say 'yes' but I hesitated. Somehow saying yes was to let David back into so much more than just my room. I knew what type of emotional baggage David carried and I wasn't sure if I was ready to swept back into it. Not only that, but I would be breaking one of Ren’s many rules that meeting with clients outside of “business” wasn’t to be done. It made me a bit of a hypocrite since I had planned on spending hours with Jon, but Jon wasn't David. He wasn't a client and he didn't mean as much. Ren would understand wanting to go out and get laid before spending time with a man I had feelings for.

But I didn't want to just lay Jon, I liked him. Just how I liked David.

Fuck.

"Gavin?" By the sound of his voice he was closer to the doorway. "Gavin. Please."

The sudden tone of his voice disturbed me and I poked my head out to look at him. Why did I have the awful feeling that something was wrong?

"What's going on, David?" I asked him carefully.

His shoulders outlined in shadows seemed to fall and his head lowered and I heard him release a deep shuddering breath. Fuck, what was wrong with him? I went to the end table by the couch and turned on the small lamp, desperate for light. When I turned around I saw David walking slowly into the room. I had planned on telling him that he needed to leave but all I could do was curse softly when I saw David's face. Or what could be seen of his face underneath the bruises and blood. He looked like he had just walked away from a kickboxing match and he lost. Lost badly.

I didn't say a word and just gestured towards the couch and went to close the door behind him. I remembered Jon was outside waiting for me with that cheerful smile of his, so sure that he could woo me over conversation and coffee. I looked over my shoulder at David, beaten and bloody on my couch, and wondered if David's problems were worth it. With a sigh I closed the door and went over to the couch to sit next to him.

As I saw him shivering on the couch, dressed in nothing but a loose t-shirt, sweatpants and tennis shoes, my mind raced back to Ren. It suddenly made sense now. Ren had been on the phone with Mannix, bragging about almost ending David's life.

"Mannix did this to you." I made it a statement, not a question.

David gave a slight nod and hugged himself tighter. I went to my knees in front of him to inspect the damage. I reached slowly for his face, placing my fingertips on his chin. When he didn’t pull away I tilted it so I could fully see all of Mannix’s damage. His lip was busted and a spot above his right eye was steadily bleeding making David keep that eye closed. His nose was bleeding too, but it didn’t seem broken and all the other cuts on his face weren’t going to need stitches. He’d been roughed up pretty bad, but nothing that need emergency care. Thank God.

"I deserved it," he whispered.

If he weren't so hurt already I would have slapped him. "How the fuck do you deserve this?" My tone was so angry that David flinched away from me.

"I tried to get him to talk about the Gates," he mumbled.

Ah. Then David would be half right. He didn't deserve it but he fucking asked for it. It would be stupid to confront someone who already had a violent temper. The moment I thought that I realized I had done the same thing earlier today. I pushed Ren's hand and got slammed down because of it. I was so not able to argue.

"Where's Mannix now?" I asked him.

He shrugged again. “Don’t know. The last hit he gave me made me trip and hit my head on the coffee table.” He reached up and tentatively touched the cut above his eye. “I passed out, I guess, and he left me there. I woke up scared shitless and came here, hoping you’d be working tonight.”

Hmm. So Mannix must have called Ren and then left. Knowing those two, they were together somewhere giggling at how bad off David was and then fucking like sick, perverted bunnies.

I sat next to him, stroking the cheek that wasn't bruised. "You can stay here for the night, but you have to gone by morning, okay?"

David nodded and stood. "Where's the bathroom?" I pointed him in the right direction and he disappeared around the corner. I got up and glanced down the hallway only to see him undressing. I stood there captivated as he stepped out of his pants and I followed that smooth curve of his back down to his ass. All types of naughty thoughts began running through my head and I nearly jumped to the ceiling when the room door swung open.

"I thought you might need help getting dressed," Jon chuckled. "Or undressed.. Whichever you prefer."

Shit. I had totally forgotten about him. At the sound of Jon's voice, David turned around and I was caught in the act. Dirty-peeping-tom Gavin. He gave me a small smile and turned around so I could see all of him and he calmly shut the door.

"Gavin? Are you okay?"

I quickly moved away from the hallway and looked at Jon. "I'm alright." I started slowly.

Jon's face crumbled. "You've changed your mind."

"Not for the reason you think," I told him. "I've got a friend here that needs me right now."

Jon looked unconvinced as his eyes swept the room for evidence that someone else was here. His eyes were cold when they met mine and I felt two inches tall under that icy stare.

"If you didn't want to, you should have said so, Gavin. I know how I found you wasn't the best but I didn't want to force you."

"You didn't and I'm sorry. He's just—"

"Gavin? Are you talking to someone?"

David's soft voice interrupted me as he emerged from the hallway wearing nothing but his sweatpants. With all the blood gone the bruises were brutally clear. He looked worse than before with various blue and purple bruises over his face, arms and chest. His eye was swollen shut and the cut from his busted lip was still red.

I turned back to Jon and his face was almost unreadable. He stared at David with a strange curiosity and his eyes slowly traveled up and down David's body. David finally moved back to the couch to escape Jon's glare and I had to clear my throat to get his attention.

"I can see why you're busy," Jon said softly. "Take care of your friend." He glanced at David and walked quietly out of the room. I ran out after him moments later and caught up to him just as he was walking to his car.

"Jon! Wait."

Jon stopped and turned. "You sure leaving your friend alone is the best thing?"

"He'll be okay for a few minutes. I wanted to say I was really sorry about tonight."

Jon shrugged. "Nothing to be sorry about. The guy looks pretty bad off so I understand."
I stood in front of him, desperately trying to read his expression but his face was shut down. He didn't appear to be angry but his new attitude bothered me.

"Jon, I'm—"

He rolled his eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you, don't be fucking sorry!" He took a deep breath and looked down the street, not meeting my eyes. "I'm just disappointed, alright? I really wanted to talk with you."

So that was his only problem? Disappointment that he didn't get me? And just when I thought Jon couldn't get any sweeter.

"It doesn't mean I can't see you at all," I softly told him.

Jon gave me a small smile. "Are you asking me to save myself for you?"

I laughed. "That depends. Do you think I'm worth it?"

Jon moved closer to me, sliding his hand to my waist. "You just might be. Although if I wait, I might want more than just coffee next time."

"Who needs coffee?" I teased. I leaned forward to kiss him and he hungrily returned it; he moaned as I held his lips in-between my teeth and his fingers groped and pulled at my body. For what seemed like hours, the kiss continued; our lips smacking nosily as his tongue took up residence in my mouth and our moans were lost under the strong night breeze and the distance sound of traffic. It wasn't until our lungs burned for air that we finally pulled away from each other.

Jon smiled at me. "Go look after your friend, I'll see you another night."

He got in his car and I watched him he drive off, getting smaller and smaller until he was just a speck against the horizon. I looked back at the dark strip club and thought of what was waiting for me inside. For a brief moment I wondered if I had made the right decision, but I suppose I had. Choosing sex over helping someone wasn't exactly noble. I took a deep breath and walked across the empty street, back into On The Lash.

David was fidgeting with a towel as I entered. He looked up and I saw the relief on his face. "I thought you were going to ditch me."

I sat down on the couch. "No way, you're much more important. Besides, I didn't really want to go anyway." I felt a bit sick as I gave him that super sweet lie, but I wanted him to feel better after what was done to him. Truth wasn't what he needed tonight.

"You have to get back to Ren, don't you?" David asked. "I don't want you to get into any trouble."

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. We're actually getting along okay so he shouldn't get too mad at me." More and more lies. They came so easy these days and I watched as David soaked them up. But it was all for his well-being so that made it justified, didn't it?

I was so caught up in my thoughts that when David spoke I barely heard him.

"I'm nothing to him, aren't I?"

I chose my words carefully. "I don't know how Mannix feels for you, David. But beating you up sure isn't love."

"I can't escape now," he began sniffing softly. "I'm trapped and he's stuck with me until…until I'm dead. It would be better if I was."

I grabbed his chin and made him look at me. He whimpered as my fingers dug into his bruised flesh but I didn't care.

"Stop it," I snapped. I couldn't find any words that would make him feel better and lying now would only make things worse. I decided to jump off the cliff and be brutally honest. "David, I won't profess my undying love to give you hope and to say that Mannix could change is a lie even I can't tell. All I can give you is the bit of comfort that I know how it fells to be tossed aside. Death is always tempting but something usually happens or you meet someone that makes you want to give life another chance. Hold out for that, because that's all we have." My mind drifted to Jon as I said that and I felt more regret as I looked into David's eyes.

He was fighting back tears as I kissed him gently on the lips. I had no intention of sleeping with him, even if he wasn't bruised. Kisses were the only comfort he'd get from me. He eased his head to my shoulder and I held him. I think this was hitting him so hard because he finally had to take off his pretty masks. Just like that night Ren stripped me bare, David now had to face all of himself and his life.

I moved us around so we could lie down on the big couch, hugging David's taller body to my own. Morning was just around the corner and soon we'd have to get up and move. David would have to go back home to Mannix and I would have to get back to Ren. We both had to answer for things we had no control over, weren’t responsible for and suffer a love that tore us apart the more we wanted it. I laid there, saying nothing, serving as a temporary escape from whatever demons he wanted to hide from.

We fell asleep like that and I had no doubts that I had made the right decision tonight.