Forever Ignored

I love summer! 

Well, I hate the heat and the bugs but I love, love, love the nights when the sun never really sets and the fact that during the summer I can just go to work from Monday to Friday, from seven to three, and have all the weekends off. No school, no thirteen hour days but actual free time to do whatever I want! Ah, got to love summer! <3 

More free time also means more time to write of course and I'm trying my hardest to focus on this story now, despite the new ideas trying to distract me ( evil little voices in my head!).

Anywhoo, it's really late (2.22 am) so I'm just going to click "add chapter" and go to bed now, good night everyone! 

Traxie

 

 Chapter 17

 

 

 

I had always dreaded the possibility of having to survive on my own in the city, or anywhere for that matter, and it turned out I had dreaded it for a reason. Seff's place was a lot nicer than ours had been; it was warm and dry, the smoke from the fire didn't stay in the room but disappeared upwards into the cracks in the building.

I stayed inside for as long as the food Seff had left me lasted. The firewood ran out before that but I curled up in the corner and hugged myself for warmth, not ready to leave the safety of the room just yet.

I dragged it out for too long and when I finally staggered through the broken window and onto the street, I was feeling wobbly and shaky. My eyes hurt when I squinted around in the bright daylight, my already hesitant step wavering. I had thought that it was night time and my eyes stung, used to the darkness inside the crumbled building.

I couldn't even remember when I had last been outside in broad daylight; for years I had only been out and about during the short dark hours of the night, as did everyone else I knew. It seemed I wasn't the only one confused about the time of day though, since there were plenty of people shuffling down the street.

I could sense the tenseness in the atmosphere, the anxious looks on people's faces registering with me. Something had happened, something so out of the norm that it had people leaving their safe places at day when it was the most dangerous to be wandering outside.

”Hey, what's going on?” I croaked out, adressing my words to a man hurrying past me and the man threw me a glance over his shoulder.

”I heard they're handing out food, you better hurry if you want any.” The man replied, surprisingly openly since it was about food. Usually no one would even consider passing on information about a possible meal to a stranger.

I stumbled after the man, my belly churning with hunger. I knew who 'they' had to be but honestly didn't care. I'd get something to eat and get stronger, then I could head out of the city and search for the others. It had been stupid of me to stay behind, I could see that now. I had nothing in the city now that the others were gone and I wished I had just gone with Seff.

I followed the crowd towards the center of Broken City, where the City Leaders took residence, but stilled when I met a wall of people, blocking my way forward. I recognized the place, the crowd was gathered at the strange clearance between the crumbled buildings.

”Form a line! Have your ID tags ready for inspection and you will get your meal!” A strict male voice bellowed from the front and while the others scampered to get into a sort of a line, I hung back. I got shoved around when others hurried past me to claim their spot on the queu and I drew back even more, regretting wasting my energy on coming this far now.

I had the ID tags they wanted to see before giving out food, Vasco had returned them to me, but it wasn't about that. I felt nervous going near the City Leaders, even more so than I had been before getting caught thieving from them, and I didn't want anyone touching my ID tags now that I had them back around my neck.

So I turned around and stumbled back the way I had come, trying to ignore the nauseating feeling of hunger bubbling in my stomach.

 

 

A week later I found myself back at the clearance hidden amongst the crumbled city, where a crowd had already gathered to wait for the City Leaders to show up. Food had been given out every day, and every day I had come with the others, only to change my mind and stumble away instead of getting on the queu. I just couldn't shake off the rising panic whenever any of the City Leaders even glanced in the general direction I was in.

The City Leaders showed up and a line was formed. This time I forced myself to join it and kept my eyes focused on the back of the guy before me, shuffling forward a half a step whenever he did. I felt dizzy and sick; I had been eating practically nothing for days and it was taking a heavy toll on me.

The crowd was getting a little antsy when time went past. People started to get nervous that there wasn't enough food for everyone, apparently that had been the case before, and the crowd grew restless. I wasn't expecting the harsh shove from behind and had no chance of regaining my balance once it was lost. I went down hard and bit back a hiss when I tried to soften my fall with my hands. Grovel bit into my palms and my body curled up to protect itself when people behind me forced forward, stepping over me. No one threw a single glance my way, as if I wasn't even there, merely happy to be a little bit closer to the food now that someone had fallen.

Someone stepped on my ribs and I gasped in pain, panicking when I realized that there was no way I would be able to get back on my feet, not with how weak I was and with the people crowding over me. I screwed my eyes tightly shut and just tried to endure when sharp pain shot up my arm, straight to my shoulder. It took me a while to understand that I wasn't curled up on the ground anymore but held up by an iron grip on my arm.

I was pulled away from the line and I forced my bleary eyes open to look at my savior. My mouth opened to thank whoever it was but the words dried up in my throat and my stomach dropped when I recognized the glaring eyes of the man clutching my arm. Vasco pulled me to the side and shifted his hold from my arm to my wrist, forcing my palm to turn upwards. Water was poured from a bottle over the broken skin on my palm and I hissed, trying to pull my hand away in vain.

Vasco let go of me and blocked my escape with his body, pressing over my back when his hand took a hold of my other wrist to repeat the action on my other palm. The broken skin stung and I twisted in Vasco's hold, trying to get away. For a moment I panicked, thinking that Vasco wasn't going to let me go but then the bigger body behind me stepped away and the hands holding my wrists let go.

I didn't look back, just ran. My heart was beating fast and irregular in my chest, my mind dizzy and eyesight blurry when I hurried to get away from the clearance, the pushy crowd and the City Leaders. Away from Vasco.

I went back to the collapsed building, not the one Seff had lived in with his family but the cold moldy one that Mist, Missy and myself had called home for so long. I crawled up across the room to the spot that had used to be mine, curled up next to the cold wall and closed my eyes. I was exhausted and eventhough I knew that if I fell asleep, I would more than likely never wake up again, I was ready to submit to the darkness. I was too tired to care.

 

 

 

I woke feeling warm. I wasn't laying on the cold hard concrete but on something soft. Maybe this was what the heaven I had been told about in the orphanage was like, maybe this was the place where no one ever went cold, tired or hungry. My stomach churned and I frowned, a flicker of anxiety breaking through the smooth relaxation. If this was the heaven I had been told about, then how come I was hungry?

I tore my eyes open and panicked. It was dark but even with my blurry eyesight I could make out that I wasn't where I had fallen asleep. My eyes darted franticly left and right, taking in my surroundings before I looked down and saw the reason why I had been so warm and comfortable. I was in a bed, under a warm blanket. This realization did nothing to ease my panic and I pushed the blanket away in a hurry, shifting to get off the bed.

My hands felt swollen and sore, and I grimace when I looked at the broken skin. I tried to stand and felt dizzy, falling back to bed. I had to take a moment to gather myself before trying again. My legs were shaky and I felt weak but I stayed up this time. I looked down at myself and felt relieved to realize that I was still wearing the grimy clothes Vasco had given me before letting me go,

The door to the room was slightly ajar, letting in a strip of light that cut through the black darkness and guided me in the right direction. The hall beyond the bedroom door was dimly lit and I stayed by the wall, leaning into it for support when I shuffled my feet towards the light.

I recognized the place as soon as I reached the end of the corridor. I had sat hours next to the front door, not far from where I was standing now.

”You're awake!” Rio's voice from the kitchen startled me and I flinched into the wall, my knees locking to keep my legs from folding out under me.

”Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” Rio continued with a small frown and moved from the stove towards me. ”Come, sit down, you look like you're about to faint.”

I shifted away from him when he reached to help me and thankfully Rio took the hint and kept his hands to himself. I moved towards the kitchen with shaky legs and Rio hovered nearby, ready to catch me if I fell but not touching. I sat down on the first chair could reach and leaned onto it with my forearms, feeling weak and sweaty just from the short walk.

”How-” I croaked out in a raspy voice, shivering at the feeling of cold sweat running down my back.

”Vas found you on the streets, passed out. He brought you here. You've been asleep for four days, I was starting to fear that you wouldn't wake up at all.” Rio explained, his voice soft and quiet, while ladling something from the pot on the stove to a bowl.

”I was home.” I mumbled and leaned my head on my hands, shuddering. I didn't like the idea of Vasco having his hands on me while I had been passed out. I didn't like the idea of Vasco having his hands on me, period.

Something was set before me and opened my eyes, staring down at the steaming bowl of soup in front of me. My mouth watered instantly and my starving stomach churned but still I hesitated. There was a small voice at the back of mind, nagging at me, telling me that I didn't have Vasco's permission to eat. Did the man know his brother was giving me food? Warm food?

”Please, Colan?” Rio said in a pleading voice and held out a spoon for me. ”You need to eat to regain your strenght.”

”Where is he?” I asked quietly, my eyes set on the steaming surface of the soup, my fingers digging into my filthy hair.

”Working. Don't worry about Vas, Colan. He won't hurt you.” Rio said and I frowned, unable to stop myself from letting out a small disbelieving huff.

”He brought you here and asked me to take care of you. He promised not to hurt you anymore if I did.” Rio continued, getting me to finally shift my eyes away from bowl, to look at him. He really believed that Vasco wouldn't hurt me anymore and I wanted to believe it too, I just couldn't.

”I can't stay here.” I mumbled out finally and Rio smiled a sad kind of smile.

”I know, Colan. Just eat now, please?” Rio pleaded with me quietly and I gave in, wrapping my stiff fingers around the handle of the spoon.

The soup was delicious, the warm liquid soothing the hunger aches and nausea away, and I felt better instantly. I was spooning the last of the soup into my mouth when there was a knock on the front door. I reacted violently to the short sound and the spoon fell from my fingers with a clatter. Rio got up from his seat and I reached over to clasp a panicked hold of his shirt.

”P-Please! Please don't, I don't want to-” I begged and Rio seemed to hesitate. For a moment I thought that he would sit back down and ignore the now continued knocking on the front door, but then Vasco's voice rang from the hallway.

”Rio?!”

Offering me an apologetic smile, Rio detached my fingers gently from his shirt and left the kitchen. I couldn't jut sit there so I got onto my feet, still shaky but feeling a little better now after I'd eaten.

”Why did you take so long? Is everything alright?” Vasco's voice was louder now that the front door was open and I swallowed thickly, moving by the wall to stay out of sight.

”I was in the bathroom.” Rio lied to Vasco but let his brother inside.

”Is he still asleep?” Vasco asked with a grunt and there wa a short silence. ”Rio?”

”He's in the kitchen.” Rio said so quietly I almost didn't hear him. I had no time to react; Vasco marched the short way from the front door to the kitchen in a matter of seconds only to find me slumping against the corner looking pale and sweaty. Vasco's eyes were dark when he let his gaze run over me from head to toe.

”Going somewhere?” The man asked finally, taking a small step closer to me. I backed away in a hurry, my hand fumbling with the wall to keep myself upright, and saw Rio frown behind Vasco who seemed unfazed by my evident panic.

”Vas you promised-” Rio begun but fell quiet when Vasco raised his hand to silence him.

”Sit down, Brat.”

”N-No.” I muttered and backed away from him until I was standing with my back against the kitchen cupboards with nowhere to go.

Vasco was quick and I screamed when strong fingers wrapped around my arm and I was pulled out of the corner and towards the table. I was forced to sit down on the chair I had sat before and Vasco's hands pressed over my shoulders to keep me seated when I tried to get back onto my feet.

”I'll let go when you stop moving.” Vasco grunted and I kept struggling for a moment longer before giving in and sitting still with my shoulders hunched forward. Vasco's hands lingered on my shoulders for a moment longer, his fingers brushing over my collarbones shortly before pulling away. Rio visibly relaxed when Vasco stepped away from me and rounded the table to sit opposite me.

”Are you hungry?” Rio asked, hurrying towards the stove and although Vasco didn't say anything, begun ladling soup into a bowl.

The atmosphere was tense and I kept my eyes on Vasco's hands that rested against the surface of the table. A bowl of soup was set down and Rio busied himself with cleaning the kitchen while Vasco continued to stare at me, not touching his meal.

”Why did you turn away from the food line?” Vasco spoke up suddenly, surprising me with his unexpected question.

”Wasn't hungry.” I mumbled, knowing the stupidity of my answer even before I said it.

”Yet you came back. ” Vasco pointed out dryly, picking up his spoon when Rio hovered briefly behind his shoulder to see if he was eating or not.

I didn't say anything at that but shifted in my seat, using my legs to push the chair away from the table as slowly as I could, to give myself more room to stand up.

”Dont move.” Vasco ordered instantly, his voice firm with the tone of authority that always made me want to obey instantly.

”I'm going.” I said simply, hating the way my voice wavered even when I had tried to sound certain.

”Going where? Off to die in that moldy pit?” Vasco snorted, not concerned at all of my threat.

”I can go where ever I like!” I retorted, looking up from the table with bravado that wavered the second I matched eyes with Vasco.

”No you can't, not if you intend to starve yourself to death.” Vasco replied calmly, spooning soup into his mouth in a lazy pace.

”What the fuck do you care if I starve of not?!” I spat, unable to stop myself even when a tremble had started in my shoulders, threatening to spread to the rest of my body.

”Why didn't you leave the city with Seff?” Vasco asked, taking me completely by surprise, and I lifted my eyes to look at him again.

He knew about Seff leaving the city? Did he know about the others as well? Did he know where they were?

”Why didn't you go find your friends? There shouldn't be anything holding you back in the city.” Vasco continued, his dark eyes boring into mine with such intensity that I had to look away.

”Fuck off.” I muttered out in a quiet voice, half wishing that Vasco wouldn't hear me, scared of his reaction to my bad attitude, but determined to not to go back to the role of a pet he had beaten me into before.

He could beat all he wanted now, I wasn't going back to the fur on his floor, that much was for sure.