Why Me

When we finally land in Oklahoma, everything looks so different from what I’m use to. The airport is huge! Bigger than the one in Israel! Everywhere you look, there’s people. Steph nudges me on the shoulder, “Fae, there’s so many people!”
I laugh, and reply, “Yes, there are a lot.” We are walking through the airport, towards the baggage claim. Robby is walking infront of us. “Steph, Robby is way to quiet.”
She laughs at this. “Yes he is. Maybe he’ll open up after a while.”
“I hope so, his quietness is starting to bug me.” We arive at the baggage claim, and everyone there starts to clap and cheer. I’m so confused. “Why are they clapping?” I ask Steph.
“I’m not sure. Maybe they feel safer with us here.” She replies.
“She’s right. They do feel safer, also they are aplauding our bravery. They’re proud of us. Don’t forget, we’re fighting for their safety.” Robby says to me. I look at him surprised that he even said something. “Stay here, I’ll go get our bags.” He walks away.
“Well that was weird.” Steph says. We both watch Robby walk away.
“Ya, no kidding.” I look around us. The clapping has died down now, and we are just standing there, waiting for Robby to come back. “Now what?”
“I have no idea. Oh! After we get our bags, you wanna go shopping?” Steph asks.
“Sure! That sounds fun! I haven’t actually gone shopping in a long time!” I laugh.
Just then, Robby comes back with our bags. He looks like he’s struggling, so I run up to him and help. “Let me help you.” I say to him.
“No, it’s ok. I’m sapose to be helping you, not you helping me.” He replies.
“Don’t worry, I wont tell anyone.” I smile, and take a bag.
He smiles back at me. “Thanks.”
We walk back to where Steph’s standing, and I whisper in her ear. “Don’t tell anyone that I helped him with the bags. He told me not to.” I laugh a bit.
She gives me a funny look, then smiles and nods yes.
We then walk back upstairs to another gate, where we are going to meet the helicopter. We put our stuff down, and I look at Steph and say, “Ready to go shopping?”
“Hell ya!” Steph yells. She looks at Robby, “Robby, you want to come with us?”
“No thanks.” He replies.
“Ok! Lets go!” Steph links arms with me, and we go.

The shopping area in the airport is huge. I walk up to this clothing store window. There is a manican wearing a really cute skirt with a tight white shirt. Steph comes up from behind me.
“It’s mine.” I say, not even looking at Steph.
“No, mine.”
“No, I saw it first.”
“But I saw it second!”
“So, it likes me better.”
“Um, what does that sapose to mean?” Steph looks at me funny.
“It made since in my mind.”
“What ever.”
“Fine, whomever it fits gets it.”
“Fine with me!” Steph runs inside. I follow after her, and I ask someone for the clothes in the window. They go and get it and bring them back to me. I go and meet Steph in the dressing room.

The shirt looks smaller now then when it was in the window.
Steph tried them on first, but they didn’t fit her. She threw them at me, and I put them on. They fit.
“Fine.” She says, and goes to find something else to buy.
I laugh. “I win.”

After we’re done, we walk back to the gate. The gate is kinda small, and there aren’t many people at it.
Steph and I sit down, and Robby gets up to go wander around. I get out my journal and a pen, and I start writing. Steph fell asleep.

After a little while, a little girl walks up to me, stands in front of me, and stares at me.
I smile at her.
She smiles back.
“Can I help you?” I ask her.
“Are you a real soldier?” She asks.
I smile at her, “yes I am. I am real.”
She smiles even wider. “Cool! Cay you read me a story?” She holds up a book that she had behind her back.
I laugh a little to myself. “Sure! Come and sit here.” I point to the empty seat next to me.
The book is Dr. Suess the Cat and the Hat. I take the book from her and start reading.
During the time I’m reading, the girl is very happy, and is smiling the whole time. Steph wakes up and smiles. “Fae, who’s your new friend?”
The little girl looks at her and smiles, “I’m Stacy! You are a soldier too.”
Stacy looks at me, “I’ve got to go now. Thanks for reading me a story!”
“Your very welcome!” I reply. She turns and runs away. “I think you scared her away.” I say to Steph, not even looking at her.
“I don’t think so!” We laugh.
“So how long do you think it will be from now till we land?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s about an hour from take off till landing. But what time we take off is a good question.”
“I think it’s at 2.” I look at my phone. “Oh wow! It’s only 8 am! This sucks. What should we do now?”
“I have no idea.”
Just then Stacy ran back up to us. “Ms! I have some more time now! Can you finish the story!?”
I laugh, “Ya sure!” I pick up the book and Stacy sits back on the chair next to me.
Just then a women comes up to me. It’s Stacy’s mom, because Stacy yells “Mommy!”
The mother smiles at me, and then turns to Stacy, and says in hebrew, “I told you not to bother this girl. I can read you the book. Leave her alone. She doesn’t need to be bothered.”
“But mom! She doesn’t mind!” Stacy replies in hebrew.
‘Wow she speaks hebrew. It seems like she doesn’t speak english.’
“Why don’t you tell her your sorry.” the mom says.
“Why can’t you. You interrupted our reading. She said it was ok!”
“You know I can’t baby. And she probably doesn’t understand hebrew.”

“Actually I do understand it, and speak it. I don’t mind that Stacy’s here. She’s been keeping me company. Our flights is in 6 hours.” I reply in hebrew. The mom was surprised. So was Stacy. Even Steph was.
“Wow I’m surprised. You didn’t seem like you understood us. Well, if you say it’s ok, I guess it’s ok with me. But if there’s any problems, I’m going to be in the gate right next to you. Can you make sure she comes back soon. And thank you.” the mom says, smiling.
“No problem. Stacy is a sweet girl. I’ll take care of her.”
“Thank you mommy!”
I turn to Steph, and say, “Hey, and you read this and tell me what you think. I’ve got the cords already.” I hand her my notebook with my song in it.
“Sure!” She starts reading it.
“Ok, now let’s read.’ It’s a new book. It’s actually in hebrew and english. “What do you want me to read, the hebrew or english?”
“Umm, hebrew.”
“Ok,.......” I start reading.
While I’m reading, Steph goes over and corrects my song. She then rewrites it.
After I’m done reading, Stacy gets up, takes the book from me, and says, “Thank you very much!” She turns and runs off.
Steph then hands over my notebook, and I read it. It looks good. I then put the cords in.
“I like it.” Steph says over my shoulder. “It’s kinda long though, but that’s one of the things I like about it.” She takes the notebook from me. “There’s some hidden meaning in it, that you don’t recognise unless you look hard enough.”
“Ya, that’s why I wrote it.”
“Will you sing it for me?” She hands me the notebook.
“Well I can try. I don’t have my guitar with me right now, so I don’t have any music.”
“You can do it with music whenever we get back. But sing it now!”
“Fine.” And I sing it.

“It’s pretty! I can’t wait till I hear it with your guitar!”
“Ya, I haven’t even played it yet. I can’t wait to hear what it sounds like.” I stand up and walk to the window. “What do you think we’ll find?” I ask.
Steph walks over to me. “I don’t know.” She puts her arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll be right next to you when we get there. Holding your hand every step of the way. I won’t leave you. I promise.”
I smile and look at her. A tear has fallen down my face. “Thanks.” She gives me a hug. “I’m just so scared. See, I know that I shouldn’t be scared of seeing a bombed out city or town. I see those almost every day. But this is my town. And my family, and friends. I don’t know if I’m ready to see it. I wish that the whole group could have come with me. Yes I know, they can’t but I can wish can’t I? But if I never pressured my parents, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t feel this pain. I wouldn’t be se scared to go home.” I just relized that music is playing over the intercom of the airport. The song ‘Tonight I Wanna Cry’ is on.

“I know you wish this stuff never happened. And I know you wish that you could have had a normal life. But you can’t change the past. Your parents did die, and your town did get bombed. But don’t forget this. I’m happy your parents died.” I looked at her funny. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking ‘Why would she want my parents dead?’ Well it’s because if they’re alive, I would have never met you! You would have never gone to war, and you would have never met Stephen, Seth, Robin, and Adam. You would’ve never loved Adam. Adam would’ve never loved you. Don’t you see, now you have all of it. You have me, Adam, Stephen, Seth, and Robin. You have Dana, and everyone from Israel. You have everyone back at camp. You even have your friends Katie and Henry. You have your mother and your father. Your have your brother, and you even have your sister. -“
”Wait, how do I have Katie, Henry, my mom and dad, my brother and my sister? How do I have them if they’re all dead?” I’ve started crying a little bit.
“You have them because they’re still in your heart. They’ll always be there for you. But if they hadn’t died, you wouldn’t have us. You would have never had met us. So if you think about it, you’ve got the better deal. You’ve got everyone.”
I smile at her, then look back out the window. I put my head on her shoulder. Trying hard not to cry, I say, “Well if you put it that way. I guess your right. I do have the better deal. I’ve got you Adam, Stephen, Seth, and Robin. I’ve got Dana... I’ve got my friends. I’ve got my family... I’ve got everyone I love... but then why do I have to feel so empty?” I can’t hold the crying in anymore.
Steph hugs me tighter. “It’s because of the death of your friends and your brother. It’s normal to feel like that. Don’t worry it’ll pass after a while. And I’ll be right here. Right by your side.”
And we stood like that for the next hour or so.

After a while, we go and sit back down. Robby has come back, and is now drawing. Steph and I are playing chess. We borrowed the chess set from some people that are sitting next to us. It is 11 am now. Stacy and her mom have left. They were going back to Houston.
“Check mate!” Steph yells.
“Damn not again! I suck!”
Steph gets up and jumps up and down. “I win! I win!”
“Yes you win. But I always will win when it comes to clothes.”
“That’s not true. I’ll always win! I’m a winner!”
“You guys are being so childish.” Robby says.
“No we’re not!” Steph yells.
“Yall, I’m hungry. I’m gonna go grab some lunch. Yall wanna come?” I ask.
“No thanks.” Robby says.
“Sure!” Steph says way too enthusiastically. I laugh. She gets up, and we walk off.
“So were are we going for food?” Steph asks.
“I don’t know. There are so many places to choose from!” We’ve just arived at the food court. “You pick.”
“I don’t know. Lets see, we haven’t had a lot of this stuff. What are me craving?”
“Hmmmmmm.” I look around.
“McDonalds!” we both say at the same time.