Why Bother?

Closing the door behind her, Joanne leaned back against it for support. Had tonight really just happened, or was she getting ready to wake up from yet another disappointing dream? Had Jake really told her all the things she had wanted so badly to hear all these months – that he was sorry, that she had done the right thing, that he loved her, that he wanted her back?

Taking a deep breath, Joanne pushed herself from the door and crossed the living room into the kitchen. She was surprised to see her mother still awake, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea, going over some paperwork. It was still before midnight, but her parents usually went to bed fairly early.

“Well, hello, honey,” Mrs. Anderson looked up from the documents she had been working on and gave her daughter a warm smile. “How was your night?”

Sitting down across from her mother, Joanne felt like her heart was beating double-time in her chest. “It was… unbelievable,” she admitted, feeling her lips curving into an enormous smile. “It couldn’t have been more perfect.”

Tilting her head, Mrs. Anderson studied at her daughter silently for a moment. “Are you going to offer more information than that?” she teased, clearly happy to see Joanne in such a good mood. “Or are you going to torture your poor old mother?”

Laughing, Joanne shook her head. “I don’t even know what to say,” she admitted. “Jake… he said everything I’ve wanted to hear since we broke up. We talked about everything that happened with his family, we talked about our lives now, we talked about possibilities in the future… And we kissed. And, mom, it felt so nice. It felt so… natural.”

Mrs. Anderson smiled at the excited, blushing face of her daughter. Reaching across the table, she took Joanne’s hand. “I’m so glad you enjoyed yourself,” she told her. “Have the two of you decided what’s going to happen next?”

Shrugging, Joanne chewed on her bottom lip. “Well, we’re going to have lunch together tomorrow,” she explained. “And I guess that’s when we’ll really try to figure things out… Mom, what do you think of all of this? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Please,” Joanne’s mother grinned. “Most of my friends have to pull teeth to get their teenagers to open up to them. I’m so glad you feel comfortable asking. And in truth… I believe that you and Jake have some real issues to work out, but all in all, I think this is a good thing. I think Jake is a good kid, and I know you love him. With all you two have been through, I think you’ll be able to appreciate each other in a way most people your age don’t normally do.”

Nodding, Joanne started to rise. “Thanks,” she moved towards her mother and leaned down to give her a hug. “I think I’m going to head upstairs now. Mark doesn’t usually go to sleep until pretty late, so I think I’ll give him a call and see what he thinks of all this craziness.”

“Okay, darling,” Joanne’s mother smiled back at her. “I’m heading to bed in a few minutes myself. We can talk more in the morning. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Mom,” Joanne called back, and then headed upstairs towards her bedroom. Quickly slipping off the dress her mother had loaned her and putting on a t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms, Joanne sat cross-legged on her bed and pulled her cell phone out of her bag.

“It’s about damn time,” Mark answered good-naturedly without even saying hello. “By the way, I think you’ve officially turned me into a girl. I’ve been sitting here for the past few hours, wondering how you and Jake were doing. That is not something a guy does.”

“Shut up,” Joanne laughed.

Mark waited a beat, and then went on talking. “So are you going to tell me what happened, or am I supposed to telepathically know?”

Rolling her eyes, Joanne leaned back onto the pillows at the head of her bed. “Calm down,” she told Mark. “Obviously, I didn’t call you to get barraged by insults. I wanted to tell you what happened, and get your opinion.”

“Okay,” Mark said. Joanne could hear him light a cigarette on the other end of the line, preparing himself for the story he was about to hear. For some reason, this made Joanne giggle to herself. “Okay, go.”

Joanne spent the next hour telling Mark every detail of the evening – what was said, what she had been thinking, Jake’s expressions – everything down to the kiss on the porch and Joanne’s request that she and Jake have lunch the next day and talk more about things.

“That’s great,” Mark told Joanne as she finished her story. “Really, that’s awesome, Jo. I’m so happy for you.”

“So you think this is a good thing?” Joanne asked Mark incredulously. “Because you were the one telling me, only like six hours ago, that I needed to move on. Remember?”

“And you’re the one that told me you weren’t ready to move on,” Mark reminded Joanne. “Maybe you weren’t ready to move on because you and Jake are meant to be together.”

“You’re right,” Joanne told Mark, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “You are turning into a girl.”

“Shut it,” Mark retorted.

Repositioning herself, Joanne climbed beneath her blanket and settled into the bed. “You know I’m just kidding Mark, right?” she suddenly felt a need to make sure Mark knew how much his friendship meant to her, and how much she appreciated the way he had been there for her since everything with Jake and Eve had happened. “These last few months would have been unbearable for me if I hadn’t had you there.”

“Right back at you, Jo,” Mark sounded pleased but embarrassed by Joanne’s praise. “And I’ve got to admit that knowing you and Jake are working things out kind of gives me hope. Maybe it won’t happen, but maybe there’s a chance for Eve and me, too…” Once again sounding self-conscious, Mark decided to wind things down. “Anyway, it’s pretty late, and you have a big lunch date tomorrow. We should both probably get some sleep.”

“Okay,” Joanne resignedly agreed. Although Mark was right that it was getting late, she felt like she was too excited to sleep yet. “I’ll call you tomorrow after I get back from lunch with Jake?”

“Sounds good,” Mark told Joanne. “And I want you to remember something when you have lunch with Jake tomorrow. I know how much you love him, Jo, and how much you want to be back with him. But don’t let him think that you’re the lucky one to have him take you back, because you’re not. He’s damn lucky that you’re even considering it. Okay?”

“Okay,” it was Joanne’s turn to sound embarrassed. “Thanks, Mark. Goodnight.”

Putting her cell phone into the charger on her nightstand, Joanne leaned over and turned off the light. As soon as she settled back into the bed in her darkened room, she closed her eyes and realized that, despite her excitement, she was also very tired. Very tired, and very happy.

-----

Joanne knew this was a dream, but she didn’t care. Everything was perfect. The leaves on the trees in the forest shone emerald green, a turquoise stream running close by made soft swishing noises, and the grass beneath her was as soft as silk. But all of that barely registered as Joanne concentrated on making love to Jake. Yes, everything was perfect… ‘Or it would be,’ Joanne thought with annoyance, ‘if that annoying ringing sound would stop.’

Opening her eyes, Joanne realized that she was in her bed tangled in her sheets, a thin layer of sweat covering her body. She also realized that the annoying sound she had heard in her dream was actually her cell phone going off.

Looking at the caller ID, Joanne felt herself blush. ‘Maybe he was having the same dream I was,’ she grinned to herself as she hit the Talk button on her phone. “Hey,” Joanne whispered, hoping that taking so long answering the phone hadn’t woken her parents. “What are you doing calling at three in the morning?”

For one moment, no sound came over the line. Joanne was about to say something, to make sure she hadn’t accidentally lost the call, when she heard something that made her blood run cold. A soft, pitiful, pain-filled sob. “Jake,” Joanne immediately was gripped by fear. “What’s the matter?”

The only sound that came through the phone was another sob, then another. For over a minute, Joanne quietly begged Jake to tell her what was wrong. Even when he finally began speaking, she couldn’t make out what he was saying. Frantically, she begged Jake to slow down, but he couldn’t. “Jake, please,” tears of terror were now rolling down Joanne’s face. “At least tell me where you are.”

“Saint…” another sob caught in Jake’s throat. “Saint… Saint Luke’s…. Saint Luke’s Hospital.”

Immediately springing from the bed, Joanne found a pair of flip-flops to slide on and grabbed her bag. She didn’t care that she was in her pajamas. She just had to get to Jake. “I’ll be there in ten minutes,” Joanne promised, her voice cracking from fear and confusion. “I promise, ten minutes.”

Too upset to even think about leaving her parents a note, Joanne dashed down the stairs and through the front door. Climbing into her car, she threw the vehicle in reverse and pulled out of the driveway, her pulse pounding in her ears. Putting the car in drive, she began racing towards the hospital. Too many horrible images were going through her mind for Joanne to concentrate on any one. All she could do to calm herself was pray, over and over again: “Please God, let everyone be okay.”

-----

The emergency room was dimly lit and very quiet when Joanne entered, nothing at all like the action-packed commotion television dramas would lead people to believe they were in the middle of the night. In fact, there were only four people in the room besides the man at the receiving desk: a very pregnant woman holding her stomach with one hand and her husband’s hand with the other, Mrs. Reynolds, and in the far corner with his head in his hands, Jake.

“Mrs. Reynolds,” Joanne went running over to the distraught looking woman. “Mrs. Reynolds, what’s going on?”

Turning quickly at the sound of her name, Jake’s mother looked at Joanne. The woman’s face was soaked with tears, and her eyes were wide with fear. When she saw Joanne, she put out her arms and – for the first time ever – embraced her.

“What’s going on?” Joanne asked again as she pulled back from Mrs. Reynolds. “What happened?” Peering over the woman’s shoulder, Joanne could see Jake. He was still sitting in the same place, in the same position, although she could now tell that he was rocking back and forth just a little. He did not seem to be aware that Joanne had arrived – nor aware of almost anything around him.

All at once, Mrs. Reynolds began sobbing uncontrollably. Joanne held her, tried to soothe her, although all she really wanted was some answers – and for Jake to come over to her. “Please,” she whispered her pleading into Mrs. Reynolds’s hair when the woman began to calm down. “Please, tell me what’s happened.”

Apparently trying to pull herself together, Mrs. Reynolds began to speak. “My husband…” she started to cry again as soon as she spoke her first words.

“Is Mr. Reynolds okay?” Joanne asked with confusion. “Where is he? I thought he wasn’t supposed to be released until Monday.”

Wiping at her face, Mrs. Reynolds shook her head. “We thought so, too,” she told Joanne, her voice cracking. “But we were wrong. He got released this morning. He… he came over… he was so angry…”

For the first time since she had arrived at the hospital, Joanne noticed Mrs. Reynolds’s eye. At first, she had assumed the redness and puffiness were from crying, but now the skin around her right eye was quickly growing darker, and it was clear that she had been struck. “Mr. Reynolds hit you?” Joanne asked as gently as possible. “Where is he now?”

“He… he…” Mrs. Reynolds was crying so hard, she could barely stand. Leading her towards a chair, Joanne sat her down and tried to help her get calm. “He’s back in jail,” Mrs. Reynolds finally got out. “The cops… they came… they took him back.”

Her eyebrows crinkling in confusion, Joanne looked at Mrs. Reynolds. She was a little bruised up, but didn’t look bad off enough to need emergency medical attention – nor did Jake, as far as Joanne could see from across the waiting room. “I don’t understand,” Joanne admitted. “If Mr. Reynolds is in jail, why are we here-” Suddenly, a massive shock of realization went through Joanne’s body. “Where’s Eve?” she whispered.

Looking at Joanne with wide eyes, Mrs. Reynolds again began sobbing. While Joanne felt badly for the woman, she wasn’t able to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest. “Mrs. Reynolds, you have to tell me,” she begged. “Where’s Eve?”

It did no good, though, as each time Joanne mentioned Eve’s name, Mrs. Reynolds fell into a deeper state of hysteria. Finally, Joanne gave up and crossed the room to see Jake. It scared her, as she approached him, to realize he hadn’t actually moved since she had arrived there, and even as she walked up to him, he didn’t even raise his head.

“Jake?” Joanne asked softly, having a hard time forcing the words past the enormous lump in her throat. “Jake, it’s me,” she said as she knelt down in front of him and put her hand on his shoulder.

Jumping a little at the contact, Jake looked up, and Joanne was frightened by the look in his eyes. She had never seen him look like that before – not when he had lost his temper at prom his junior year, or the many times that he had come over after being beaten by his father, or even when he had felt betrayed by Joanne. No, the look of pain and hopelessness and fear in his eyes chilled Joanne to the bone.

“Joanne,” Jake said softly, so softly Joanne could barely hear him. “You came,” he sounded like a child as he spoke. Suddenly, he leaned forward and embraced Joanne tightly as he began crying. “You came,” he repeated over and over again, his voice growing more frantic by the minute.

“Of course I came,” Joanne hugged Jake back tightly, trying to soothe his hysterics. “It’s okay,” she told him, kissing the side of his head gently. “It’s okay, Jake. I’m here. But you have to tell me what happened.”

It took a minute for Jake’s hard crying to wane to soft sobs, and as it did, he slowly released his grip on Joanne. She took the opportunity to move into the seat beside him, where she wrapped her arm protectively around his shoulder. “Jake,” Joanne’s voice was pleading again. “Please, you have to tell me what happened. Why are we here?”

A look of horror flashed over Jake’s face, and he quickly buried his head in his hands again, back in the position he was in when Joanne first arrived at the hospital. As he began rocking, Joanne realized that he was also whispering something. Leaning close to him, all she could hear were bits and pieces of apologies – “so sorry” and “didn’t mean it”. Suddenly, though, he said something that made Joanne freeze.

“Oh, Eve, I’m so sorry.”

-----

It was after eight in the morning when Joanne finally pulled into her driveway. Turning off the ignition, she just looked at her house from inside the car. It was the same house she had lived in her whole life, with it’s southern exposure and blue piping and the porch that Joanne had always loved because it reminded her of something out of an old movie – something wholesome and gentle. But this morning, something about the house looked wrong – off somehow.

Forcing herself out of the car, Joanne trudged up the steps and opened the door. Her whole body was drained from the evening before, and even the simple act of closing the door behind her seemed a daunting task, so she just left it open and walked into the living room.

“Where have you been?” Joanne heard her mother’s voice, angry and concerned and relieved all at once. “You leave in the middle of the night without a word or even a note, and you don’t even answer your cell phone? What the hell have you been doing?”

Looking up, Joanne saw her parents standing in the doorway leading to the kitchen. “I’m sorry,” Joanne said, her voice devoid of emotion.

“You’re sorry?” Mr. Anderson’s face was growing red with anger. “That’s all you have to say for yourself? We’ve been worried sick! Where were you? Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

Sitting down on the couch in the living room, Joanne shook her head. “Cell phones don’t work in the emergency room,” she said simply, as if this explained everything. “They block them or something. I didn’t realize you had called.”

“The emergency room?” Mrs. Anderson asked her daughter softly, her face suddenly growing pale. Hurrying across the room, she sat next to Joanne and put her arm around her. Joanne was unresponsive, though. She seemed to be in a daze, vacant, bare, devoid of any expression of emotion. “Baby,” Mrs. Anderson looked at Joanne’s face. “What happened? Why were you in the emergency room?”

Looking up, Joanne looked first into the face of her father. Even though he was balding and the lines on his face were increasing, he still looked as strong and powerful as he had when Joanne was a child. Turning to her mother, Joanne studied the dark circles under her worried eyes. “Eve died,” Joanne said softly.

And then suddenly, before her parents had even a second to take in the shocking news, Joanne dissolved into pained sobs in her mother’s arms.

-----

TO EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED SO FAR: I WANT TO AND WILL RESPOND INDIVIDUALLY, BUT I’M A LITTLE DRAINED RIGHT NOW, SO EVERYONE WILL HAVE TO WAIT A FEW DAYS.

I KNOW THIS WASN’T A COMPLETE SHOCK, AS I ALLUDED TO EVE’S DEATH IN THE FIRST CHAPTER, BUT I HOPE I DID A FAIRLY GOOD JOB WITH THE EXECUTION. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF EVE’S DEATH WILL BE EXPLAINED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, I PROMISE. THANKS AGAIN TO EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST.