Edge Of Nowhere, Half Past Never

 

 

16 Session

 

I jumped up suddenly. Something horrible has entered my nostrils. That stink! Ammonia.

Looked around. I was on the floor. Hands free. One of them had a firm bandage on it. Three people besides me were in the premises, not counting that sack of shit and maggots hanging out by the ceiling. Didn’t manage to raise my eyes above their knees. Well, one of them was squatting down beside me but I still avoided his eyes.

“I have reset the bones to their places. Don’t exert the left hand for at least a week,” one of the people said. It was the younger looking lab technician. “Do you understand me?”

I only curled up, hugging myself. “Where are my clothes?”

He looked up at the senior labtech. Older man replied tiredly, “Stop being so sympathetic. They’re just made to be like this.”

“Stop making us like this, you son of a bitch,” I whispered.

“At least I have a mother,” labtech retorted cynically without interrupting whatever he’s been doing. That did hit the mark. He probably rehearsed this situation with myriad of my brethren. Is that all that makes us different to the normal people? I wanted to ask. Wanted to know exactly what went wrong in this rotten world. I had no strength. Knowing won’t save me anyway.

Labtech the younger took off his coat and put it over my shoulders. White quickly seeped with red blotches.

Someone sighed. “If director finds out, you’re going to get fired. It’s not that kind of institution.” Not that kind of institution, huh? And somehow, I’m the one not human?

“I’m just trying to salvage our sample.”

“Smooth.”             

“Shut up.”

“You know you’d see drastic change in his attitude after the most basic cerebral correction,” senior reminded his pupil.

“I’m sure your attitude would suffer same result, mad scientist,” I couldn’t help to hiss through the teeth.

Extremely bored, annoyed sigh. Labtech was about to quote something long and irrelevant like a law paragraph but changed his mind. Like it matters. “It must have been so much easier back in the day when instead of AI we had only yes, no and cancel options,” he mumbled.

“How dare you… human experiments,” I cursed out loud against my better judgement. My hatred boiled.

Scientist finally glanced at me from behind his interface. “That’s impossible. I assure you, no such thing has ever been performed in this facility,” preposterous man assured me. And then it hit me. I am not human. Not to them, the people who knew what I really was. I swallowed bitterness and shut up. It was useless to argue. I was almost convinced he was right, anyway. Perhaps I wasn’t.

They told me to get back to the fold. I staggered through the white corridors again.

I see. I saw it way before I even woke up. That’s what being human is. Ruthless. Cold. Selfish. Somehow on the way I just became weak and started craving for pity and mercy. Perhaps I am of human species after all, just needed to relearn these things.

Limped into the compound. It was dark. Night time. Only my team was around and few other nighthawks. And him. He was still up too, sitting in the gym vigilant. My knees felt weak. Yeah, they shook. I tried to walk but was stuck in place.

“Oy, Rawstone, you’re okay?” Brat jumped over the couch and walked towards me. Words could not describe how happy I was to see him. Ran-limped the few remaining steps towards him and fell into his arms. Pressed the small body to mine with all my remaining might. He responded. I don’t’ know what I would have done had there been no one to greet me. “It’s okay. You’re back,” he said stroking my hair. “It’s over.” Runt didn’t ask, nor tried to pry. He just knew.

“Can you walk?” He asked.

Shook my head, burying it in his narrow chest. Manned up eventually, “Give me a minute.” I was sure knees would still refuse to cooperate.

Brat pulled me up, but not on my legs. Found myself in his arms. He was surprisingly strong for a midget. Strengthened my grip around his neck. “Relax. I’m not gonna hurt you.”

 I knew.

“Baldy, …” Kid called.

“Yeah, I know. Already sent Lazyass ahead.”

He carried me to the showers, Sloth was already there with a small bag. Medpack, I take it.

I stood under the current still with the cloth over my shoulders and found no will in me to remove it. Freshly irritated wounds ached. Wanted to be rid of the dirt. And blood. And sweat. And smell. Looked over the shoulder at the frowning midget. He wondered how on earth they managed to screw me up even worse. Well, I’m sorry I’m such a loser, too.

“What can I do?” He asked worriedly. I half expected him to lash out.

“Go. You don’t need to be here.”

His expression darkened. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not moving a step away from someone who barely managed to let go of me.” Words warmed up me up somehow.  

“Either go or stop glaring,” I responded with passionless tone.

“Shit. That. Uh. I wasn’t scorning you. I was… Anyway, you should take that shower already. You must be freezing. And we need to treat the bruises.” Some were becoming black, bit by bit.

I turned back to the wall in front of me. “Don’t look.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t look at me,” I repeated in dispassionate manner again, forcing something down. Heard him turn around and sit on the ground. I finally managed to rip the coat off me. Now I felt nude. I was nude, but that was beside the point. It had grown to feel like a second skin by then. Indeed. And it was cold now.

Cleansed whatever I reached and eventually sat down to look at my mutilated feet. It was bad. But it could be even worse. I began scrubbing the open wounds with the cloth. It hurt. The stream washed away the unnoticed agony off my face.

“Oy, what the fuck are you doing? Stop!” Small hand squeezed mine. Rustling must have gotten his attention.

“Don’t!..” I crouched up into a ball. I couldn’t stand looking at myself. To others the sight should have been even worse.

He crawled under the stream too and pulled one of my hands away from the face. “There’s nothing I haven’t already seen. Don’t hide from me,” he asked and his tone calmed me again.

“I’m…” My self-pitying breath gave out. What right did I have to complain to anyone here?

“You’re not ugly. Saying you’re ugly would piss off couple of hundred identical people.” He carefully tried to crack a joke.

“I feel like that,” I said eventually. It was somewhat easy to talk to him. I didn’t need to say too much.  

Brat crawled closer in and laid a kiss on my forehead, “You’re not.” Called out louder, “Misery, go get something calming.”



The unseen, ever-present butler, “It’s on the bag.”

“Thanks.” He saw me picking at my sole again. I pulled out a glass shard. “Shit. Let me do this.”

“No!” Stopped him in a haste. Explained, “It’s infected. With parasites.”

Brat looked sceptically at me. “What kind of bastard pulled this cruel joke on you? They can’t do that. We cost too much.”

I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want to recall damn thing. “I saw.”

Brat shrugged. “Can you get Colonel’s disinfectant?”

“I will,” voice hit the walls from afar. That handy fellow.

“It’s the strongest thing we got. It’ll hurt a ton, though,” Brat warned and I laughed morbidly in response. As if that scared me anymore.

I slept like a log. Elite’s magical powder was undoubtedly magical. Even Brat tried to drag me out of bed couple of times. Must have been quite late. I didn’t move an inch. I didn’t want to see anyone. I didn’t want anyone to see me. I didn’t want him to see me. Ever again.

I heard my right bracelet beep in high pitched tone, adjusted for improved ears. He was gone. I stayed in for a long while after that and eventually got my shit together to get up. My yesterday’s breakdown was one thing, staying hidden even now was another. Couldn’t show all my weaknesses. I won’t be able to live here. It was bad enough.

“It seems you met C, Wimp,” Elite was snippy but that was the usual. His opinion of me could hardly fall any lower anyway.

“Who?”

“His forbidden romance,” Scarecrow explained.

“Bitch, please. Don’t degrade everyone to your level,” Flawless defended his white-coated friend.   

“I don’t know his name,” I said.

“Pft, you don’t need to. Carbon is the only fool who’d ever take pity on a labrat.”

“Tell him I am thankful for his assistance, if you ever catch him without the fat one.”

“I…” Elite started with a positive tone.

“I’m not fat,” Sloth said automatically through his sleep.

“He’s not talking about you, Fatso!” Scarred Egghead flung something at the napping teammate yet again. I wonder, if I pulled on the mutilated skull of his, could I dislodge a plate and see the brain?

“Uh? What is it?”

“Nothing. Go back to sleep,” Perfection sighed and sat down.

“Unlucky,” our eyes met. “Thank you for yesterday.”

“Whatever,” he replied coldly and got back to sleep. Still, he stayed in the vicinity throughout the process. Waiting. Least I could do…

A bracelet bleeped. I looked around searching for the green light elsewhere. They all looked at me with disbelief on their faces. It wasn’t their tone. No. This can’t be. Not this. Not again. Looked down at my shaking left hand. Indeed. It was there.

“Looks like someone got downgraded to the rental,” said Scarecrow what they were all thinking and kid glared at him, promising a talk right after this. Tough cookie. There’s not going to be any after.

“I’m not going,” I announced bravely.

Team exchanged glances. Brat got the short straw. “It rings three times. Four, fifth – you also get electrocuted.”

I interrupted, “I don’t care. They can fry me. I’m not moving.”

“… Sixth, all Elites get zapped. They beat you up and deliver you kicking and screaming anyway. If you’re still misbehaving at that point, …”

“Come on!” I shouted out.

“It’s not like I want you to go, either.” Brat said, almost scowling. “It’s less painful if you do.”

“Less what? Hah!” Armband signalled again.

“Maybe they just want to check up on you after yesterday,” Scarecrow suggested but neither one believed it to be so. These bodies were made to be sturdy and low maintenance. No one ever got a medical leave or band aid from good uncles over in the lab.

“If it’s the same guy, consider yourself lucky. Repeat customers often make purchase at a later date,” Elite offered a hint of comforting.

I laughed again, “Tsk, hah. Right.” Horror crept in through the sarcasm. Man. It’s so not funny. That would be a genuine disaster. My thoughts must have showed on the face. Kid’s expression changed to pure gloom, too.

Elite snapped, “Quit being such a wuss. You’re not the only fucking princess in that situation.” It was runt he was worried about and no one else. Indeed. I was being selfish. It buzzed the third time. “Stand up and walk, before I drag your ass there personally.”

Well, fuck you big and mighty Longing. My mind was looking for a way out desperately. I saw bottle of pills on the table. Ohhhh. An idea crossed my mind. An impulse, really. Next thing I knew I was emptying the contents to my mouth until I choked. Perfect jumped up and slapped the hell out of me. Pills scattered all over the place. “You idiot! Have you got any idea how hard it was for me to swipe those?! Spit it out!” He hit me couple more times and I coughed out a few that were on their way to lungs. “Fuck. How many did you swallow?” I didn’t know. A few. Shrugged.

“Problem solved,” Walking Dead commented without raising his eyes from the cards. “He’ll be hardly present. Walk, while you still can. And you, get back to the game.”

I was a genius. Fourth buzz and I got zapped, just as promised. Inspired by some vicious courage, went for the exit. Puppy was sitting by the doors. Light didn’t change to green until he moved away. Failsafe to let through only the invited one. Smart. It would be impossible to break through in groups. One more lock in this prison hardly even discouraged me anymore. The green lights trail brought me to the same place. Not the lab, the other one. I sighed and stepped in. It was somehow easy. I already felt unnaturally lax.

Just as yesterday, Honglian sat on his fluffy cloud, stroking the hair of his wingless pet. I casually came closer to them this time, entranced by the sight. Why did those two aberrations look so beautiful together? Even the complete devotion Smiley showed. Especially that. He was like a Moon whose sole purpose in life was to circle the Earth. Every move was for his Master, meant to charm and seduce the bastard. And everyone observing the two.

“Why, isn’t he just peachy? From what you told me the least I expected to see was some snivelling,” short-statured man exhaled dissatisfaction.

“Disappointed, Master Preposterous?” What’s with him, not only did Lollipop have to see my nervous breakdown but also babble all about it to this guy? Well, they were joined at the hip, so that was unavoidable. Silly me. Still expecting some solidarity.

“Quite a bit,” Honglian said.

“Words cannot express how happy that makes me, then.”

“Perhaps it takes more than a slave to break a slave,” he pondered, promising me something I didn’t want to receive. Man with hair as thick and black as ours stood up and came closer in, squinting suspiciously. Honglian poked my chin with an elegant carved cane. “Hah. So that’s how it is. Deplorable miserable slave. Did you really think drugs will help you escape my enjoyment?”

“Oh. Not in the least, Master. Go ahead and do your worst. Like this I won’t give two fucks even if you gut me alive,” I was having fun, I realised. It was fun. There was no fear. Yesterday’s injuries were numb. I won’t feel any pain today.

“Oh, artificial boy. So young. So inexperienced. Even your taunting is half-baked. You do realise I can string you up and just wait until you sober up?”

I still didn’t give two fucks. I grinned. My immediate future was safe. His stupid mug annoyed me, though. And he was so close… and that got my thoughts rolling downhill. I can’t hurt the merchandise, correct? What about the clients? My grin grew even wider. I definitely didn’t feel any unnatural prohibition yet. Grabbed the ivory stick from the sophisticated barbarian and hit him with it. Nothing. Nothing happened. I laughed out loud with relief and surprise and hit the man again as he tried to rip cane out of my hands. I handled him as easily as any other Longing did me. So weak. He was deplorably feeble.

I flew backwards. Repeat punches were threatening to open up my skull. Miscalculated. There was an unleashed panther in the corner of the room. Genius.

“Enough,” swing stopped midair and Grotesque Grin got off. He was heavy.

“Shall I prepare to sever his limbs for raising them against you, Master?”

He considered it, then chuckled. “No. It would be unsightly to blame furniture for me tripping on it.” I was down with concussion as he degraded me even further. Fat cat was even worse than the old labtech. Did he really think of us as inanimate objects? Really, now. That’s just ridiculous.

“But the last guy…” Lollipop really did want to rob me of my limbs, didn’t he? He wanted me dead. But before that, I had to suffer. Was my offence that great? Didn’t I pay it off in full the last time? Probably not, when such a deranged hunger was concerned.

“Do you really need me to spell it out? We already tried that, now it’s just too boring. I had different plans for this one already anyway.” Turned my head towards the corner with lifeless sack of shit in it. He became like that for hitting this freak? I may have cried hysterically right there if I wasn’t so high. World was spinning and pink roses were starting to cloud my vision. “Besides, he’s still your toy. I wouldn’t want to take anything from you.”

“Thank you, Master.”

I chuckled. Hypocrisy.

“For starters, strip him. Let’s use that gift of sensitivity he was kind enough to bring with him. We’ll start with pleasure this time.” So… In the end, no matter what I did, it was the same. It was merely a delay. Not even that. I was providing the happy couple with extras.