Heaven Far Away

Chapter Fifteen - Initiation

It goes that simple people will find happiness in simple matters. For the second day in a row, Ren has been grinning with an upturn of his lips. In the mirror, he saw his gloating expression. Stepping out after the elevator doors slid open; Ren greeted the page boy at the front desk before heading for the restaurant. In it, he looked around for any familiar faces –he needed to gloat some more, of course- before he would have to resort to sitting by himself. Then he saw a familiar back and the lips curved up even further as he approached. “Yo, Takumi.” The number one host looked up and Ren had already situated himself on the other end of the table. “Rare to see you down here in the mornings, not with a client?”

Takumi offered him a smile before setting the newspaper aside. “There are days when no one wants my services as well.”

Ren snorted and rolled his eyes. “Oh please, you’re the emperor, whom wouldn’t want your services?”

The number one merely smiled but said nothing more of the matter. “What about you, Ren-kun? You seem to be in a good mood this morning.”

At the mention of his grin, Ren’s eyes brightened and he leaned forward to show just how eager he was. “You know on the owner’s birthday?” That was about two nights ago. “I managed to get Kazuya and the owner together in the specialty room. We both know how much Opiate is down there.” Too excited in his own relay of the tale, Ren missed the light dimming of Takumi’s smile and the troubled look in his gaze. “Am I good or am I good? The kid’s been pinning after owner for as long as he’s been here. It should be a dream-come-true for Kazuya. And even old man Bakusui had to follow through with his end of the bargain.”

To Ren, this was a glorious victory that he’s just brought unto himself. To Takumi, each word was a cause for worry.

“Anyways, have you seen the number one around?”

For a split second, Takumi thought Ren was referring to him before he remembered otherwise. “Chitose?”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen him around for a while.”

“He might be at his café shop down the street or back at his family home. Is there something wrong?”

“Ah, no no.” Ren waved a casual hand and sat back. To Takumi’s surprise, the usually bold number two actually looked sheepish. “It’s just that he called the owner’s phone on the night of the party and I told him a lie because I didn’t know whether my plan was going to be successful or not. Now” Ren shrugged “I just wanted to tell him the truth about what happened.”

Don’t. If you value your life, then don’t.

Takumi wanted to shout out, his eyes flashed at the thought of Chitose finding out the truth and hearing the happiness in Ren’s voice. Yet, his brain calmed down and whirled. It is impossible that Chitose can’t know what’s going on here. In fact, it is probably more likely that Chitose has already found out about the truth.

“I’ll let you know when I see him.”

“Yeah, thanks man.”

Behind Takumi’s smile lay a vindictive man who wished to let Ren taste his own medicine. It was obvious to Takumi that the number two held more feelings for Chitose than just wanting to gloat about his victory. Such a simple man, Chitose would be able to play him inside out and then sell him without Ren even noticing. For someone who’s wounded Chitose without even realizing it, Takumi saw no need to protect him from what he’s deserved.


[Konbayoshi’s Office]

“Takahiro, do you have a moment?” The door opened and Chitose walked in before closing the door behind him. Konbayoshi looked up from the form he was starring at and hoped that he had covered his inattention well enough. “What’s wrong? Is it not a good time right now?”

“Yes and no.” Konbayoshi answered quickly. “I actually just sent for Kazuya to come up and discuss about his status right now.”

“Ah, right, those need to be done in private. Did he finish all his training?”

The question was expected, yet it still shocked Konbayoshi from head to toe. He hoped that he concealed well enough the guilt that flashed through his eyes. “Yes, he did. Bakusui-san spoke to me yesterday.”

Chitose remained silent for a brief second and studied the other. Although it was a mere blink of eye’s time, Konbayoshi felt like it has been an eternity and wondered if Chitose saw through his mask of lies. But instead, he smiled and nodded. “I understand. I’ll come back later then.” However, before he could turn, a knock came from the other side of the door and the two looked at it with a startled expression before turning to look at each other. In a moment of indecision, Chitose glanced around and headed for the jointed bedroom instead. The second Chitose closed the door behind him, Konbayoshi called out for the other party to enter.

That door took a second to open, but it felt unimaginably longer to Konbayoshi.

Kazuya walked in –like predicted- and closed the door behind him. The tension in the room threatened to suffocate both parties, but neither wanted to give in. So Kazuya walked closer to the desk and stopped only a few feet away. Konbayoshi kept his gaze on Kazuya’s face while the latter kept his gaze on Konbayoshi’s desk.

“Owner-sama, you wanted to see me.” Kazuya’s heart was beating wildly. He imagined many situations of how they’d meet again. From the most mundane to the most wild of fantasies. Right now, none of the rehearsed lines were entering his mind.

“Yes.” Konbayoshi spoke after a moment, swallowing back imaginary nerves before continuing. “I had wanted to discuss with you about your status…”

If you want to free yourself of this debauched life style, I can set you free.

Konbayoshi wanted to say, but his mind reminded him that Chitose was a door away. No matter what, he cannot let the host find out what had truly happened on the night of his birthday. He hated lying to Chitose, but exposing his own lie by himself was even worse.

“Yes, owner-sama.”

“I…”

Konbayoshi started impulsively but caught himself in time. Yet that little slip was enough for Kazuya to snap his head up and look at Konbayoshi with uncovered hope in his eyes. It killed Konbayoshi to see such hope and to know that he’s missed the chance of granting him freedom. Tearing his gaze away, Konbayoshi pretended to look over the form and cleared his throat.

To Kazuya, that one little syllable carried all the hope in the world for him. He thought that perhaps Konbayoshi was ready to admit something, anything that would tell Kazuya there was still some room for more than this.

“Kazuya, are you sure that you want to be a host working in Opiate?”

And so, Kazuya felt as if a bucket of cold water was poured over him cruelly.

“… yes.”

“Once you sign these forms, you will have to obey the rules that all hosts abide by in Opiate. You will have to work your way up from the lowest rank of a host. Are you certain you still want this position?”

Show him even a slither of waver and Konbayoshi will find some excuse to dismiss him from the position. On the front, he told himself that he just felt bad about what happened and he owed the kid a favour. Deep inside the very cells of his make-up, he knew that he wanted some reassurance that it meant more to Kazuya than just the completion of his training.

That evening…

Kazuya took in a deep breath and raised his head to look into Konbayoshi’s eyes with confidence. His nails dug into his palm and he told himself to remain calm. “Yes, I am certain that I still want to be a host here.” To Kazuya, this was the last chance and the only position he can take to remain by Konbayoshi’s side. So he will work his way up and eventually over take Chitose. This way, at least Konbayoshi can be proud of his diligence and look at him a little bit more.

The sigh was heard only inside his mind, but Konbayoshi wondered if it had leaked out of his lips as well. Turning the top form around to face the other, Konbayoshi pulled out a pen from the holder and placed it atop the form. “Whenever you’re ready, please sign at the bottom.” He was slow to put the pen down; he hoped that with each extra second added, Kazuya would change his mind.

Instead, Kazuya stepped forward and gripped the pen to ink down his name on the consent form. There was no hesitance to Konbayoshi’s eyes. And there was no reluctance in Kazuya’s eyes. The more he thought about this, the more he will want to back out.

“That’s all. You may leave.”

“Thank you, owner-sama.”

Kazuya even bowed to him before leaving. Konbayoshi looked at that closed door and wondered when things grew to be so broken. Besides him, the bedroom door creaked and it opened. Chitose stepped out slowly, looking from Konbayoshi to the door and back to Konbayoshi again. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.”

Chitose was unconvinced.

“If you’re unwilling for him to become a host, why not reject him?”

“He was determined. And he’s completed all the training required; there was no reason to reject him.”

Then why can’t you look at me in the eyes and say it?

Chitose knew more about restraint than anyone else, so of course that sentence never made it out of his lips.

“You said you wanted to speak to me about something?” Perhaps Konbayoshi wanted to change the subject, perhaps Konbayoshi truly wanted to hear what Chitose had to say; it was unknown and neither was it important. The moment had passed and Konbayoshi had turned to look at Chitose, waiting.

“Ah.” The number one’s lips parted in a small sound of sudden realization. “It slipped my mind.” Really? “When I remember, I will let you know.”


[Kazuya’s Room]


From the fifty-fifth floor to his room, the trip on a normal day would take a maximum of two minutes. Today, it took one minute and forty-five seconds. To Kazuya’s internal clock, it took a life time. The moment he signed on that dotted line, he knew he had to conceal himself and tuck away the key. From that second onwards, he was a host and he would have to entertain like a host. In Opiate, Kazuya wondered what kind of role he would take on. Would he be the fresh, cute, young boy who evoked and fuelled a certain pedophiliac fire? Or would he be the enigma that all clients sought to solve? In this building of personal prestige, will there be a place for him to make his own living? Will there be a foundation beneath his feet to offer some sense of security.

In front of his door, Gen stood looking in his direction. It was obvious that the number two had been there for a bit now, but Kazuya didn’t know how to pick up his pace. To him, breathing seemed surreal; as if he was still in a dream. It almost seemed futile to move faster, to rebel, to work against the tide. Like chasing after a bygone wind, walking on cloud, touching air; all frustrated him.

“Gen-san.”

The number two nodded and stepped back to let Kazuya unlock his door. From here on, this room will see the coming and going of clients and hosts alike. It will no longer be his own, but a chamber to entertain and remind him of his place.

“I hear that you’ve officially been hired as a host.” Gen finally started when they were in the room. His voice sounded restrained and almost hesitant; it wasn’t the fire breathing Gen that Kazuya had come to know. “Should I say congratulations?”

Kazuya turned to face Gen after he had set down his card key, and to his surprise, the front of a host has already began to harden across his exterior. “Of course you should, Gen-san! This is what I’ve been training for all along!”

Due to Gen’s success in Opiate, Kazuya’s always forgotten that Gen was also another youth like him; their age was but a few months apart. Today, Gen’s silent gaze revealed to him a young boy who has his own heartaches as well. Kazuya wondered who could make Gen look like so. Shuzo? No, not Shuzo; never Shuzo.

“Kazuya…” Gen started and faltered. He licked his lips and swallowed before continuing. “I came into this business because I had no other choice. I was my parents’ way of paying off their debt.” Kazuya could tell that Gen has not spoken about his past to many people. The way Gen stuttered, started and stopped told Kazuya that Gen was genuine with whatever he wanted to tell him. “It’s fine to work in this field for yourself. It’s fine to work in this field if you like it. It’s fine to work in this field if you have to pay off a debt. But if you’re only working in this field because you want to catch someone’s eyes, you will find yourself further and further away from him.”

The weight of Gen’s words almost had Kazuya stumbling backwards, but the newly accepted host held his ground and looked at Gen.

“I…” Finally, it was Gen who broke their eye contact and let his gaze drift elsewhere. “I… before I met my patron, I had thought that I could catch Bakusui-sama’s eyes if I just stayed by him long enough.” A human being, the more confident and invincible he looks on the front, the more scared and insecure he is on the inside. “Kazuya, don’t waste away your entire life in here for the owner. You will become just another host who brings him profit. The most important place in one’s heart is not number one. It will mean nothing if you’re his number one, because it implies that there is a number two, a number three, and a number four and so on.” A long list of people who may be promoted and demoted following the tides of time. “It will only mean something if you’re his only one.”

If Kazuya ever thought that Gen was all about the superficial temperaments that attracted clients’ need to tame, then he was sorely mistaken. Beneath Gen’s every word laid an experience that the number two had learnt the hard way. For that moment, Kazuya did not know how to reply.

Number one is but a road side stop, the only one is the one true destination.

“Anyways,” Gen offered him a small smile before turning to leave, “congratulations then. I will see you on your initiation evening.”


[Three Nights Later]


It’s not been long since Opiate’s last hosted a party, but it certainly has been a fair amount of time since Opiate last hosted a party in the name of an initiation. The lobby bustled with the chatters of clients and hosts alike. Atop the grand, marble stairs that Akeno almost saw his end stood a small corner table just enough to support a tray of Champaign glasses. Just around the corner, Kazuya was already standing there with his heart thumping irregularly in his chest. He wondered if this is what it felt like to have a heart attack. An initiation evening meant the formal introduction of a new host to limited members only. There will be bidding for the host’s first evening from the clients. Of course, after this evening is finished, the host’s name will be added onto the host menu and will be available for all client ranks.

Below him -Kazuya closed his eyes- stood the elites and the wealthy. He felt sick to his stomach. His body and his person will be offered tonight for these men to judge and put a value to. There will be a worth slammed on his forehead. It’s been said that the price a host retains on his initiation evening is a forecast of his future success.

“It’s about time, are you ready?”

From his right, the owner and Haruno were already heading towards him. Kazuya straightened and bowed as they drew near. He’s not seen the owner since he’s signed the consent form, and right now, he’s only managed to look at Konbayoshi’s shoes. Gen’s words ran themselves in his head for the past few days and Kazuya almost wanted to back out of this and confess to Konbayoshi. He will be rejected, no? So then, that would mean the owner will remove him from this club. Which in turn will mean that he will never see the owner again. No, that was a fate worse than selling his body so he could at least stay by the owner’s side.

“Are you nervous, Kazuya-chan?” Haruno stepped closer to him and offered him a smile. Kazuya fancied that he saw a tiny bit of lamentation behind that smile.

“A little bit, yes. What if no one will bid for me tonight?”

“That won’t happen, I guarantee it.” It was the owner who spoke these words of confidence. When Kazuya turned his eyes upwards to look, Konbayoshi had already turned his gaze away and was looking out at the well polished glasses.

“Konbayoshi is right, you needn’t worry about that.” Haruno finally patted Kazuya on the shoulder and turned him around to face the direction of the grand stairs. Kazuya remembered vividly the last scene he saw on those stairs. That evening, he had escorted a shaking Akeno out of the club. The movie star said nothing during the trip down and left in the same silence. Tonight, on the same stairs, will Kazuya meet the end of his hopes as well?

“It’s time, let’s go.”

Order given and the three of them moved together. Gradually, they emerged out of the darkness; Kazuya squinted underneath the strength of the chandeliers. In the crowd, he saw familiar faces and strangers’ faces. He saw the hosts of this club and wondered which old man in the crowd would be his for this night.

“Good evening, gentlemen.” Konbayoshi spoke into the microphone that was erected on its stand. He paused for a few seconds to let the murmurs die down.

They were all in such expensive suits, Kazuya could not help but note. These men of status and wealth, what did they see in him? His fellow hosts were in the same suits, except for Chitose. In Kazuya’s eyes, Chitose stood out from the rest in his beautiful, red silk kimono. He stood near the back of the room in a line with Bakusui, Takumi and Ren.

“I would like to thank you all for taking the time to attend Kazuya’s initiation this evening.” Konbayoshi continued, his voice projected throughout the first two floors of Opiate and his eyes scanned the crowd. The turn out is within the expected range. Of course, there were those exclusive clients who could not show up tonight. For example, Sugimoto is not present; of course, that did not come as a surprise. And to Konbayoshi’s relief, he did not see Mukai in the crowd either. “Tonight, it is my pleasure to offer you another name on the menu for future services. Of course, to thank your continued support of Opiate, you are among the few, especially selected members who will have the first opportunity at viewing yet another successful host.”

Here, Konbayoshi paused and held out an arm. Kazuya saw the gesture and took his step forward. He didn’t want to look at these men who looked at him with a mixture of interest, lust, scrutiny and a visual examination from head to toe. He was merchandise, if he did not know that before, he clearly felt it then.

“The bidding is open to start right now and will continue until the maximum price has been given.” Konbayoshi then reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. “As a respected client cannot make his presence present tonight due to business, I had granted him the privilege of joining us in this event over the phone. He will be speaking with me directly. I trust that my honesty over the years will be my guarantee to you all that everything will be fair. If anyone has objections, please raise them now.”

Or forever hold your silence.

Konbayoshi held his breath and prayed that no one would challenge him on that note. One second, two seconds, three seconds, no one spoke and Konbayoshi allowed his lips to relax. “Let us begin then.” He flipped open his phone and pressed it up against his ear.

They say that a direct order of worth given was worse than the feeling of death. Kazuya wondered how they would know, after all, you only die once, but the appraisal of worth proceeds each and every day. Like right now, he heard the numbers being offered and wondered if they were high or low. Was it within the expected range or was he doing exceedingly poor? Besides him, the owner occasionally spoke to whoever was on the phone as the bidding continued. Kazuya did not have the guts to look at the clients; so instead, he looked towards the hosts at the back. Gen and Shuzo have joined the previously four men line. All of them carried the same passive expression that allowed him not even a slither of information.

“Will that be our final offer tonight?”

Kazuya’s attention jolted back to the present moment when Konbayoshi asked that line in the microphone. No one spoke in the ticking seconds, and Kazuya wondered which one of these men is going to be his client for the evening.

“Thank you gentlemen. Please enjoy yourselves thoroughly. Kazuya will be able to join you shortly.”

With the owner’s dismissal, murmurs broke out once again and Kazuya could no longer hear the beating of his own heart deafening his ears any longer. He tilted his head upwards and looked at the owner with question in his eyes. The owner had just flipped shut his phone and approached Kazuya. “The client over the phone won the bid this evening. He is currently away on business right now, when he returns, I will let you know. For now, go down and interact with the clients.” So it essentially meant that his initiation evening will have to be postponed ‘till whenever this mysterious client would return.

A part of him sighed with relief, but another part tensed equally.

Near the bottom of the staircase, Chitose and Bakusui greeted him with a smile. Of course, the words of congratulations must be uttered before anything else. “Here, Kazuya-chan; something small for your initiation evening.” Chitose held out a finely wrapped box and Kazuya accepted it with a bow. He’s always known that Chitose is and will always be his final rival; but sometimes he cannot even find a reason to hate the older host.

“Thank you, Chitose-san.” Kazuya took the box and bowed. “Do you have any idea who was the client on the phone?”

Chitose and Bakusui exchanged a look and shook their heads. “It’s actually quite a surprise.” Bakusui started. “I’ve never seen an initiation evening where the owner, the current one and the previous one, has allowed a client to make offers over the phone.”

“Ah… I see…”

Then there was that moment of contemplative silence before Chitose smiled and spoke up thoughtfully. “It must have been a very special client then. I would imagine that is a good sign for you, Kazuya-chan. So ease your mind.”

So he should ease his mind, he supposed.

“Please excuse me; I need to discuss a few things with the owner.” Chitose then moved and stepped past the two of them to climb up the stairs. “Enjoy your evening, Kazuya-chan.” He offered a smile as he passed the young host on his way. His wooden slippers clicked against the marble steps. The curious case of this mysterious client was what the hosts were discussing along the back wall. There were valid names thrown out into the mix as hypothesis, but Chitose had yet another suspicion that he wanted to confirm.

At the owner’s office door, Haruno was just exiting the room as Chitose was stepping in.

“Chitose-chan, will you not be gracing us with your presence downstairs?”

“Ah, Shouhei-san, you flatter me.”

“Flatter? Oh you wound my genuine words.” Haruno put a hand to his chest in feigned pain. Chitose laughed along with him at the antic. “Takahiro is in the shower, is it urgent?”

“No, that’s alright, I’ll wait for him.”

So Haruno exited and Chitose entered, the door closed behind him and he looked around an empty office. First, he stepped up to the desk and looked at the scattered pieces of paper before heading for the joint bedroom. On Konbayoshi’s night stand, Chitose found what he was looking for. Approaching, he picked up Konbayoshi’s cell phone and flipped it open. The incessant noises of shower water hitting tiles assured him of Konbayoshi’s presence. Scrolling through the call log, Chitose noted with much interest the last incoming and out-going call.

From the beginning of the lists to the end, the last phone call received was dated the afternoon of today.

So then…….

Chitose smiled and placed down the phone silently.

Ignorance truly is bliss.

To be continued...