Learning to live again

Hope you like this chapter, I changed my writting style a little to make it so you can understand the characters better. Tell me if you like the old style better or you prefer it like this.

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Tansa (alias Jack)

I listened to the deep and even breaths Alavas made while sleeping and wondered why I felt so troubled that I couldn’t sleep. Everything was doing fine in class and several other teachers have even praised me, asking me how I made the worst class of the school work so seriously. I suppose helping the gang leader of the class helped, but I couldn’t say that to them. I honestly didn't think that class was that bad too.

For the first time in my life, I felt truly happy. I had a job I loved, someone I loved and that loved me back, and a lot of friends. Not to mention the sex with Alavas that was simply mind blowing… So why was I feeling so restless?

Propping my head higher on the pillow I stared at my beautiful lover, my saviour. I still had difficulties knowing how to behave around people but with Alavas… it was different. It was so easy and comfortable. I never got weird looks from Alavas when I said something strange or tensed when someone tried to touch me. I only got warm reassuring little smiles or a stern look when I said something bad about myself. Alavas seemed to think I was perfect as I was and I shouldn’t think so low of myself.

I closed my eyes and remembered the last “punishment” Alavas had given me when I asked him why he loved me when there were all those beautiful elves that wanted him and I was just a whore. He tied me to the bed and worshipped my body for hours telling me everything he liked about me. I shivered as I remembered his hands on me, his warm electrifying tongue and… my mind reeled to a stop as the weird feeling assaulted me again.

My head ached and I wasvfeeling strangely sorrowful. Tears started to form at my eyes without my consent and I stated to panic. What was happening to me?! Alavas stirred and sighed in his sleep. I had to calm down. I didn’t want to wake him up; he really needed sleep after being up for 24 hours strait for his job. I shifted and buried my head against my pillow giving my back to Alavas and crying silently for god only knew what reason because it totally escaped me.

After a moment, I felt strong arms encircle me from behind and a warm chest against my back. I waited for the kiss on my neck and when I received none, I knew Alavas was still asleep. I plastered myself against him and let the tears flow freely in my pillow, I knew it was no use fighting them.

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Alavas (alias David)

I woke up slowly, with a lithe body shaking in my arms and soft hair tickling my lips. I still felt shaken from what I had discovered in the world of the wolves. My head felt like it would explode and my body felt strangely cold even though I had warm heat emanating from the body I was wrapped against.

Was Tansa having a nightmare? I tightened my hold around him and gave him a little kiss on the neck. He shivered and I felt it travel through his body.

“Are you alright angel?” I whispered in his ear.

I needed his love right now but his needs were more important than mine. And I had to admit comforting him would help calm me too. I sighed against his nape, burying my nose in his hair and breathing his wonderful scent. I felt his hold tighten against his pillow before he softly said “No”.

I felt worry stir in my chest and tried to get my little human to turn and look at me but he only snuggled more into his pillow and refused to turn around. Did he have a nightmare again? I wouldn’t have been able to stop it like I usually did due to my visit to the world of dreams. Damn.

“What’s wrong honey?” I asked him, the worry I felt not transpiring in my voice.

“I don’t know!”

I felt my eyebrows shoot upwards at that. What…?

“I’m just… (sob)… I’m just so… (sniffle) sad. And I feel… scared. But… I don’t know why!”

He started to cry again shaking into my arms and confusing the hell out of me.

“Tansa… shhh… baby calm down. Calm down angel.”

I tried to turn him around again and this time he didn’t resist, burying his face into my neck as soon as he could. I stroked his hair lightly waiting for him to calm down so I could understand what was going on. I was already worried for my little brother and my friend and now Tansa… My pent up emotions were getting the best of me. I needed to calm down too or I was going to do something I would later regret.

Tilting my lover’s face up, I kissed him hard, letting my frustration and worry pour into him. And strangely enough he immediately calmed down, his tears stopped and he deepened the kiss, sighing into my mouth and bringing both his hands to cup my face. I felt my entire body relax as I melted into the kiss. My worries forgotten for the time being as I my mind concentrated on only one thing: the beauty kissing me breathless. Atna* but I loved this human.

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Tansa (Jack)

I felt Alavas relax against me and had a fleeting question crossing my mind before it was gone. Why had Alavas been so tense? For once I was dominating our kiss and it was strangely exhilarating. Sorrow still had a hold of my heart and I had the strangest feeling that it was coming from Alavas but it seemed to be melting away with our kiss. As our tongues stroked each other I moaned into our kiss and felt more than heard the growl Alavas made from deep within his throat.

Mmmh that felt nice. Without breaking our kiss, I slid myself on Alavas who was on his back, and straddled his hips. I somehow knew we both needed this. His hands snaked along my legs stroking my tight before settling on my ass. We broke the kiss to breathe and I kissed his jaw trying to catch my breath at the same time. I wanted to touch him, feel him, and make him better even though I was the one with the problem. It was weird but in that moment it made perfect sense to me.

Alavas kissed my neck and I felt his hands slip underneath my boxers, one hand on each cheek and rubbing slowly making me moan and reach for his mouth again. I let my hands wander onto his hard torso and soft skin and was rewarded with another growl as a finger teased my ass hole. I felt myself harden and I knew he felt it too when his left hand squeezed my butt cheek.

“Mmmh Alavas!” I said as I broke the kiss only to be captivated by two shining eyes.

I looked into Alavas’ beautiful green eyes and I drowned in them, lust and sorrow gripping my heart almost violently and tears started to form in my eyes again. I saw the lust quickly replaced by worry as he saw my tears. His left hands went up to stroke my face tenderly and the painful feeling disappeared again replaced by love. I kissed him gently as he whipped my tears away with his long fingers.

“Angel, what’s wrong?” he asked but I had no answer to give him. I only had this need, need to feel more of him, need to feel his love, need to feel him on me, in me, need to be one with him, to be for him.

“Alavas make love to me. Please, I need you!” I didn’t recognize my own voice, I had never felt so needy. But I knew Alavas couldn’t deny it to me. He needed me too, I could feel it.

Alavas looked at me with an unreadable expression before he sat up with me in his lap and arranged us so he was sitting against the headboard with our two bodies flush against one another and his tongue down my throat. I had my seme back and it was so good!

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*Atna is the elf "goddess" for those who had forgotten.

... please don't kill me for stopping it there...
Aw aw aw ok I get it I won't do it again! Stop hitting me!lol
Anyway, this chapter must be a little confusing to you all, that with Tansa's feelings being weird and all, and if you think you know why he is acting like that make me know, I want to hear your guesses.
You will know in the next few chapters anyway...
Hmm I think that was all I had to say...

Oh yeah check out my deviantart account (my name is Ikippiki) I have a picture of Alavas!