The Rousing Misadventures of Miss Pandora Sparkle

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Pandora Sparkle felt a definite chill run up her spine as she stood and watched one of Candace’s police officer brothers unload the trunk of the man that had seemingly been stalking her for much longer than she would have ever suspected in her wildest imagination.

The trunk not only contained a folder of pictures of her that Pandora recognized as having been taken in the previous month, but it also contained duct tape, ropes and most frightening of all, a large assortment of knives.

However. If Pandora had felt a little woozy upon seeing the knives, it was nothing compared to how she felt when Officer Theodore Baron started to remove the large glass jars filled with formaldehyde from the trunk. Each of which had something that suspiciously resembled a severed penis floating in it.

Each jar was clearly labeled with someone’s initials. J.L.-R.C.-B.P.- D.W., and the last one that contained only formaldehyde at the moment, but still was labeled quite clearly. P.S.

Then Pandora had to sit down. As in had to. As in she collapsed to the ground in a terrified heap.

Ted Baron had been at her side in a flash. The back up cruisers the brothers had called for upon arriving had just shown up, and he turned over the unpacking to a fellow officer as he gently helped Pandora back up the stairs to her apartment.

Once there, he had fetched her a glass of water after settling her down on the couch; and he sat with her until she slowly began to calm down.

Pandora’s hands were shaking as she took a sip of the water. Suddenly, she realized that Ted had been speaking to her. She looked up at him with still stunned blue eyes. “I-I’m sorry... What did you say?”

Ted smiled at her in an understanding way. “I was just saying that maybe you could tell me how you met this man.” He had a little black notebook and a pen in his hand.

Pandora flushed but she finally stammered out the story of meeting Riley at the bar, of bringing him home for sex and of kicking him out when she discovered he was married.

“Smart move.” Ted nodded. “Married guys are nothing but trouble.”

“The bastard didn’t even wear a ring.” Pandora said miserably.

“If you don’t mind my asking....” Ted looked at her curiously. “How did Candace get involved in this?”

Pandora found herself flushing even redder. “I-I know Candace from work...” She said tentatively.

Ted grinned at her. “Believe me Miss Sparkle,” He said. “Its okay, I know exactly what Candace does at work.”

Pandora sighed with relief. At least she wouldn’t be spilling any family secrets.

She told him about the shoot, about her tires being cut and Candace giving her a ride home. She told him about Riley’s notes and flowers.

“We both got smashed on my Uncle’s homemade moonshine.” She told him. “Candace put me to bed, and then she passed out on the couch with my cats.”

Puffy and Fluffy had long ago made their way into the living room, and were purring around Officer Baron’s feet. He leaned over and grinned as he spoke to the cats. “I suppose you two will vouch for that huh?”

Both cats looked up at him and purred loudly. “Ill take that as a yes.” He gave her a smile that reminded her very much of Candace. “What happened here this morning?”

Oh God. Pandora very much wished that she could just crawl up under her couch, and hide there for the rest of eternity.

Ted held on big hand up at her stricken look. “I don’t need to know if anything happened between you and Candace.” He said. “Id like to know, but I can just worm those details out of her later.” A grin spread across his face. “All I really need to know is what happened around the time that the suspect turned up at your door.”

He glanced down at his notes. “You said that Honey had arrived just shortly before he did right? Where is she by the way? Ill need to question her later.”

“Yes.” Pandora nodded. “The three of us were having coffee in the kitchen. Honey called her boyfriend, and he came and picked her up after I gave her a valium because she was hysterical. Is that okay?”

Ted nodded. “I can just contact her in a bit. So, the three of you were just having coffee and talking?”

“Yes.”

“But then Honey decided to leave?”

Pandora nodded again. “Candace and I were sniping back and forth at each other, and I think Honey didn’t want to get caught in the middle. It was when she opened the door that Riley barged in.”

“What happened then?” Ted said gently.

“It all happened so fast.” Pandora bit her bottom lip. “He pushed his way into the kitchen, and started grabbing at me. Candace said something to him and he started screaming all sorts of vile, hateful things at her.”

Ted nodded. “Then what?”

“Candace hit him.” Pandora gave a small hysterical giggle. “He looked so shocked when his ass hit the floor, and he sat up and spit a tooth out.”

“Then?”

“He charged at Candace.” Pandora shook her head. “She kicked him in the ribs, and I thought the fight was over because he was rolling on the floor like he was really hurt, but then....”

Pandora shuddered. “The next thing I knew he had a knife, and he had cut Candace.”

Officer baron nodded as he wrote down what she said. “What did you do?”

“Well...” Pandora grimaced. “I saw all that blood and I thought he had really hurt Candace... So, I picked up the cast iron skillet that my mother gave me last Christmas, and I hit him over the head as hard as I could with it.”

Ted looked at her with his eyes twinkling. “You brained him with a frying pan?”

Pandora nodded slowly.

The officer chuckled with amusement. “That’s great.” He said sincerely.

“It is?” Pandora said doubtfully.

“Very inventive and feisty.” Officer Baron chuckled again. “Its no wonder Chrysler is so in love with you.”

Pandora was totally confused. Had he just said a car company was in love with her? “Who?”

“Oh ummm...” Ted looked awkward. “I-I....”

He was saved by another officer coming to the door. Ted talked to the man while Pandora sat on her couch anxiously awaiting some news. Finally, Candace’s brother came back and sat beside her.

“Well...” Officer Baron said seriously. “You are one very lucky girl I would say.”

“He’s some kind of serial killer isn’t he?!” Pandora burst out.

“Not exactly.” Ted said. His radio went off, and he excused himself to answer it.

Pandora was sitting on pins and needles as she waited for him to finish the call.

“Well the good news,” Ted grinned as he came back. “is that Candace is fine, and she and Fred are on their way back here now. They should be arriving in just a few minutes.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. It had truly surprised Pandora at how worried she had been about Candace. Even seeing her dick’s potential new home hadn’t stopped her from still thinking, and worrying about whether the tall brunette was okay.

“Fred said she needed twelve stitches.” Officer Baron informed her. “And she bitched and whined the whole time.”

Pandora grinned. “That’s sounds like Candace. Why was she bitching? Worried about getting a scar?”

“No actually.” Ted smiled. “She was worried about you.”

She gaped at him with her mouth wide open. “M-me?”

“Yeah.” The Officer snickered. “Fred said she wouldn’t shut up until he agreed to bring her straight back here as soon as they were through.” He grinned. “Then she harassed the nurses the whole time to hurry up.”

Pandora was a little stunned. It had never occurred to her that Candace actually might be worried about her too. “Candace...” She started to say, but then paused as none other than the aforementioned brunette; and twin number two marched through her door once again.

Theodore Baron grinned up at his two siblings as they came into the room. “Fred.” He nodded a greeting to his twin. “Nice to see you in one piece again Chrys.” He said to a scowling Candace.

Pandora looked confused. Chrys? Then she realized that it had to be Candace’s birth name.

“First of all... My name is Candace.” The tall brunette said haughtily. “Second of all, I was always in one piece.” She held up the arm that was now bandaged from her wrist almost to her elbow. “I just sprang a little leak is all.”

“Well Candace....” Ted grinned, “I’m still glad you’re both here now. That means that I can brief you all on the details at one time.” He turned to Pandora. “I’m basically a lazy bastard, and I hate having to repeat myself.”

Candace snorted.

Ted and Fred both ignored her. “As you two have probably figured out by now….” Fred said. “We have been looking for this guy for some time.”

Ted nodded. “He’s not exactly a serial killer, but in a way he’s even worse.”

The two twins looked at each other, and then back at Pandora and Candace.

“Down at the precinct….” Ted cleared his throat. “We’ve been calling him; “The Collector.”