You Don't Know Me

“Under the circumstances,” Maura finally spoke, and everyone turned their eyes to her. “We do think it’s the best option. We love each other, and we don’t want to have an abortion. And I just don’t think I could have a baby, Peter’s baby, and give it up.”

Glancing between the teens, Marcus and Michelle had no idea what to say. There was no way either of them felt comfortable supporting this decision. After all, Maura and Peter were still just children themselves.

“I just think you guys should talk about it some more-” Marcus began to repeat his sentiment, but Peter interrupted him.

“What if it was Michelle?” Peter interjected pointedly. “What would happen if Michelle got pregnant? Could you have an abortion or give it up? Wouldn’t you want to be with Michelle, and the baby, as a family, forever?”

Taking a deep breath, Marcus looked over at Michelle. In truth, Peter was right. If Michelle did get pregnant, he would want to be with her and the baby – despite all the problems they had gone through so far. Still, they were several years older. They were in college, not high school. They were-

“I know it sounds crazy right now,” Maura interrupted Marcus’s thoughts. “But we really need this. We didn’t want to get pregnant, we used protection, we thought we were being smart, but this happened. I just feel like this isn’t just the best option; it’s the only option.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Michelle told them, her voice sad. “I’ve never been in this situation, so I feel like a fraud trying to tell you what to do.”

Looking at Michelle, her words hit Marcus hard. “I’ve been in this situation,” he said suddenly. While Peter just nodded, Maura looked surprised. Obviously, she hadn’t been told about this part of Marcus’s past. “When I was sixteen, I got my girlfriend pregnant. And I was a prick about it – a complete asshole. If I could go back to that time, go back and do things differently, I would. I mean, I wouldn’t marry Catherine – we’re just not meant to be together – but I’d be there for her the way she needed me to be then. So maybe I can try to make it up a little to her by being there for you guys. Not saying I agree with this idea, mind you, but saying I will be here no matter what you decide.”

Biting her lip, Michelle felt tears pricking at her eyes. “Me too,” she told the teenagers as she looked up at her boyfriend. “I will be here, too.”

As Marcus and Michelle looked at each other, they both knew that they were not sure this was the best course of action to take, offering their support. Still, they also both knew that this was the only thing they could do, no matter the consequences. They would be here for these two scared but determined kids. Just like they would be there for Sean and for Janette. They were facing a long road ahead of them, but they hoped that somehow they would find the strength to face it in each other.

-----

The next morning came far too quickly for Marcus and Michelle, although both had been awake most of the night thinking about the dark situations around them. Dragging themselves out of bed, they took turns showering and dressing before heading out the door. Being a Saturday, they were both going to have to miss work, but neither one of them was concerned about those sorts of trivialities at the moment. The looming knowledge of what had happened to Janette was all that weighed on their heavy hearts as they rode in silence towards her apartment, stopping half-way to pick up coffees that they hoped would bring them out of their zombie-like states.

Janette had given Marcus the key to her apartment when they were at the hospital the night before, so they let themselves in easily. It was just about eight am, and Tony and Sean were due there soon.

Looking around the small but homey abode, Michelle felt a lump forming in her throat. She had spent so much time over the last year thinking about Janette – this stunning girl, this confident girl, this girl that had men falling at her feet. Michelle had been so jealous of her, especially after Marcus had told her about their one night together, although she had tried to pretend she was fine with everything. Now, standing in the place where Janette lived, with fashion magazines scattered on the coffee table, cutouts from magazines pinned to the walls, and clothes thrown haphazardly around the bedroom, Michelle realized that Janette was just a girl like any other. Except that now, and for the rest of her life, Janette was also something else – a rape victim.

“Come here,” Marcus beckoned Michelle to his chest as soon as he saw her eyes fill with tears. In truth, he wished at that moment that he didn’t have to be the strong one. As soon as they had entered the apartment, Marcus remembered the last time he was there. Back then, Janette seemed so happy and carefree. Sure, she was a little ditzy and not exactly discriminatory with who she dated, but she had felt safe and secure in her life. Marcus wondered if she would ever feel that way again.

Allowing Marcus to hold her silently for a moment, Michelle finally pulled back as Tony and Sean arrived carrying a bag of groceries for Janette. “Okay,” Michelle said with resolution as everyone gathered in the small living room. “Seamus is going to be here Janette in two hours, and I want this place to be in perfect condition. Marcus, you get the bedroom – throw out garbage, put clothes in the hamper, change the sheets, and so forth. Sean, get the kitchen. Check the fridge for old food, do any dishes, wipe the counters, you know. Tony, living room, yadda, yadda, yadda. And I’ll take the bathroom and the hall. Everyone clear?”

Giving his best friend a small smile, Sean nodded. This was how Michelle dealt with stress – she took control of whatever was a controllable situation. He could tell that her eyes were sunken and her skin pale, revealing how upset she was, but she wasn’t about to show that. “Aye, aye,” he gave her a salute, breaking the tension and letting everyone relax with a laugh for a moment.

By the time Seamus got to the apartment with Janette, everything was clean and organized. Janette seemed to be limping slightly, but nobody asked why. Most likely, her leg had been injured somehow during the course of the rape. “Thank you all so much,” tears glassed over Janette’s eyes as Seamus helped her to the couch. “God, this place hasn’t been this clean since I moved in!”

As Marcus sat down on the couch beside Janette and began asking her questions about how she was feeling, Michelle motioned towards Seamus to come talk to her in the kitchen. “How is she?” Michelle asked with concern, her voice a whisper.

Although he was now clean and fresh-shaven, Seamus still looked exhausted. “As good as can be expected, I suppose,” he shook his head. “She injured her ankle that night, apparently, and they’ve given her some meds for if that acts up. She has some sleeping pills if she can’t sleep. But I think the real problems haven’t even begun yet. I think that once the activity of hospitals and a half-dozen people waiting in her living room subsides, she’s going to be left feeling really scared, at least until they catch who did this.”

Shaking her head, Michelle’s heart went out to the girl in the living room. “I wish there were something more we could do for her,” she said. “But you… God, you’ve been amazing. You guys barely knew each other before this, but you haven’t left her side.” Giving Seamus a small grin of admiration, she patted his arm. “You are a great person, Seamus.”

“I’m not,” Seamus said immediately, shaking his head. “I’m just trying to do the right thing. Besides, she doesn’t have any family around here, and I’ve only got Gram, so I guess I’m trying to fill in some for that role.”

“Well, whatever the reason,” Michelle told him. “I think it means a lot to Janette.”

Nodding, Seamus finally gave Michelle a small smile before they headed back into the living room where Janette was sitting amongst a group of caring friends.

-----

Police officers kept sticking their heads in, throwing him disgusted looks, and then walking out without saying a word. Alex had been sitting in the interrogation room for a couple hours, waiting for his lawyer to arrive. Once he did, Alex made a quick decision. “I didn’t rape that girl,” he told the balding middle-aged attorney. “But I know who did, and I’ll tell everything if you can get them to cut a deal for me.”

-----

The following day, Marcus and Michelle finally slept in. They weren’t able to do it because they were finally relieved or relaxed in any way. They were just so incredibly exhausted by the events going on around them that their bodies had given out. When Peter’s voice came out over the answering machine at noon, Marcus finally began to stir.

“I’m sorry, Pete,” Marcus yawned as he spoke into the phone. “We totally overslept. We’ll meet you guys at the diner in twenty minutes.” Hanging up, Marcus ran his fingers through his hair and glanced over at the bed where Michelle still lay tangled amongst the sheets. He felt terrible having to wake her, as it was obvious her body needed the rest, but this was the day Peter and Maura were going to tell their parents about the pregnancy and their plans – and Marcus and Michelle had agreed to be there with them for moral support.

Sinking onto the bed, Marcus reached over and gently shook Michelle’s shoulder. “Michelle,” he said in a soothing voice. “Baby, it’s time to wake up. We overslept.” He saw Michelle’s body stir slightly, but her eyes didn’t open. “Come on, Michelle. We have to be out of here in ten minutes.”

“No,” Michelle replied in a grumpy voice. “Go away. You’re mean.”

Unable to help himself, Marcus grinned at her reaction. “Baby, I’m not trying to be mean. We just promised Peter and Maura that we would be there for them today, and we’re already late.”

Letting out an audible sigh, Michelle let her eyes flutter open. “Peter and Maura. Oh yeah,” she said in a flat voice. “For about five seconds I forgot about all the crappy stuff that has been going on. I was just lying here, and I knew it was your voice, and I knew it was your bed because I know the scent of your laundry detergent, and for just five seconds, I forgot about everything but you and me and this bed and this room. It was wonderful.” Looking up at Marcus, Michelle bit her lip. “Is that awful to think? Is that totally selfish and wrong?”

Shaking his head, Marcus reached out to brush some loose hairs away from Michelle’s face. “No, that’s not awful or selfish or wrong. It’s self-preservation.”

So as hard as it was for them, Marcus and Michelle got out of bed, got dressed and went to the diner to meet Maura and Peter. The two teens actually looked more certain than they had earlier in the week, having had time to encourage each other for several days. They had even decided what order they were going to go in. They would go to Maura’s parents’ house first, and then to Peter’s parents’ house (since they were still his legal guardians and would have to sign the paperwork for their marriage), and finally to Peter’s aunt and uncle’s house to let them know what was happening. It was going to be a long, tiring and stressful day for all involved.

At Maura’s house, her parents seemed to be kind but nervous people. They had no idea what it was that Maura had them sit down to talk about, nor why these two college students were there as well. Marcus and Michelle felt very uncomfortable and out of place. They just sat silently as the children fumbled over their words, their voices and hands shaking, their eyes filling with tears, until Maura finally admitted, in one short outburst, the situation and what they wanted to do about it.

As could be expected, Maura’s mother began crying and her father began pacing and yelling about responsibility. As Peter and Maura told them that they had tried to be careful, Marcus and Michelle looked at one another and decided to move outside to give the family some privacy. “Do you think they’ll be okay?” Michelle asked nervously from the front porch, hearing loud voices carrying from inside the house.

“I have no idea,” Marcus said sadly in a voice that took Michelle aback. He had been getting more and more depressed over the past few weeks, she had noticed, and more resigned in his dissatisfaction with life and his willingness to just withdraw in response.

Sitting on the hood of Marcus’s car, Michelle said nothing in reaction to Marcus. Of course, she also had no idea what was going to happen with Peter and Maura, but she was at least doing her best to try to think positively. After an hour of sitting there, it seemed as if Michelle’s plan had been the right one.

Coming out the front door hand in hand, Peter and Michelle’s faces were both tearstained and blotchy, but they each had a small smile on their face. “I’m sorry that took so long, guys,” Peter said, his voice tired.

“Don’t even worry about that,” Marcus leapt from the car with Michelle following closely behind. “We knew this was a huge deal, not a pop-in/pop-out sort of situation. So, what happened?”

Looking over at Maura, Peter motioned for her to tell them. “Well, after a lot of yelling and crying,” she gave them a rueful smile. “My parents calmed down and were willing to talk. I understand how upset they are, but I didn’t know if they would get where we’re coming from, but they really do. They aren’t happy, that’s for sure, but… well, they said that if we both stay in school until we get our diplomas, they’ll sign the papers to let us get married, AND they’ll let us stay here, AND they will help with the baby, since my mom doesn’t work.”

With shock, Marcus stared at the teenagers. He couldn’t believe that things had turned out so well. It would have been perfectly understandable if this situation had turned into a discussion that was drawn out for weeks, but it seemed to have been settled in a couple hours, and to the great satisfaction of Peter and Maura. How was that even possible?

“But Maura’s going to stay here now,” Peter added, looking at Marcus and Michelle. “She’s going to stay and talk to her parents more, while I go talk to my parents. It’s probably not the worst idea in the world, anyway. I mean, you saw how normal Maura’s parents are; compared to my Mom and Dad, this house is friggin ‘Leave It to Beaver’.”

Leaving the teens to a moment of privacy to say their goodbyes, Marcus and Michelle climbed into the car. “I totally didn’t expect that to happen,” Marcus said. “I really thought this was going to be a huge fight, especially about the marriage thing. And now her parents are going to help take care of the baby, too?”

“Why do you sound almost disappointed that things went so smoothly for them?” Michelle asked, unable to mask the irritation in her voice. “This is probably the scariest thing two kids their age can deal with, and it’s such a blessing that Maura’s parents are going to be supportive and help them.”

“I’m not an evil person, Michelle,” Marcus barked back. “I’m not disappointed things went smoothly; I’m just surprised by how smoothly. Don’t make me out to be a dickhead, okay? I’m doing the best I can.”

Michelle was about to shout a response back at Marcus when Peter opened the back door and slid in the backseat. “Wow, it’s such a relief to have that done,” he said, unaware of the stress and tension coming from the front seat. “I mean, Maura’s parents were the ones we were the most afraid to tell. My parents will probably be glad to write me off for good – and with the excuse that I’m unreliable and irresponsible – and my aunt and uncle aren’t going to be like telling parents.”

Shooting an angry glance towards Michelle, Marcus forced himself to smile at Peter in the rearview mirror. “I’m glad it went so well,” he said as he started the ignition. “This is a really tough situation, but it’s going to be a lot easier with love and support from Maura’s family.”

The rest of the drive over to Peter’s parents’ house was silent. Peter was lost in his own thoughts about the many changes that were going to be coming up in his life in the immediate future. Marcus and Michelle, on the other hand, were both seething. The anger they were feeling towards one another was a buildup of weeks and weeks of stress, followed by a few days of intense stress. In actuality, they weren’t really mad at one another, although neither of them could think clearly enough to realize that at the moment.

-----

“What, did your whore of an aunt kick you out already?” Peter cringed at the greeting his obviously intoxicated father gave him as he entered the house. “Or do you just need money? And who the hell is this?” He motioned angrily with his beer bottle from his seat on the couch towards Marcus and Michelle.

Despite their argument in the car, Michelle immediately took Marcus’s hand and moved slightly behind him. Peter’s father barely seemed like a real person; he was more like a caricature, or a character from an after school special. This was not boding well from the start.

“Is Mom home?” Peter tried to keep the shaking out of his voice, but it was useless. Years of abuse from his father made it impossible for Peter to not give away the fear he felt. But glancing back at Marcus and Michelle, he seemed to gain some confidence. “I need to talk to both of you.”

At that moment, Peter’s mother entered the room. She was a frail looking woman with a bruise around her eye that she was poorly trying to hide with her bangs. “Peter,” she looked shocked to see her son, but at least she seemed sober. “What are you doing here? Why is Marcus with you? Is everything okay with your aunt and uncle?”

“I need to talk to you and dad,” Peter told his mother, relief that she wasn’t drunk obvious in both his voice and his expression. “I am going to need for you two to sign some paperwork for me.”

“What kind of paperwork?” Peter’s father asked warily, rising from the couch and walking towards his wife.

Biting his lip, Peter glanced back at Marcus and Michelle once more. “I want to get married,” he forced himself to say. “My girlfriend is pregnant, and we want to get married, but I need for you guys to sign consent forms before we can do it.”

Michelle watched as Peter’s mother’s eyes grew as big as saucers. “Married?” she choked out. “But you’re so young…”

“I knew it,” Peter’s father sneered. “I always knew what a loser you were, knocking up some whore and being stupid enough to marry her.”

“Maura’s not a whore,” Peter’s body tensed. “I love her, and she loves me. We didn’t want to get pregnant, but it happened. And we’re going to take care of things the best we can. Maura’s parents are willing to help us with everything, and I’m not asking you for anything but your signature.”

As Marcus watched the scene in front of him, he felt anger rising through his body. Of course, finding out your sixteen-year-old son was going to be a father was a shock, but Marcus knew the kind of scum Peter’s father was. He had no right to be judging anyone, least of all Peter and Maura.

“Well, we’re not going to do it,” Peter’s father growled.

“Bill-” Peter’s mother began to interject, but cowered as her husband turned an angry eye on her.

“Shut up,” he shouted at his wife. “This little fuck… all the problems he’s caused us… you think I’m going to make it easy for him to move in with some rich family just because he screwed their daughter. No way.”

Tears were filling Peter’s eyes, but he willed them back. He had promised himself he wouldn’t cry in front of his father ever again. “Dad, I’ll get emancipated if I have to,” he told him evenly. “But that’s going to take longer, and it’s also going to bring up a lot of family stuff that’s probably best left buried.”

Taking a gigantic stride towards his son, Peter’s father was not right in his face. “Family stuff?” he barked. “You’re the fucking loser who got addicted to drugs. You’re the asshole that knocked up some whore-”

“Stop saying that about Maura!” Peter replied angrily. Suddenly, he saw an expression of rage pass over his father’s face, and he knew from experience this was a terrible sign. Immediately, he reached up to cover his face, but it was too late. His father had struck a hard blow.

Before Michelle knew what was happening, Marcus leapt forward. She watched as he pushed Peter towards her and faced his father. “Listen, you drunken asshole,” he yelled. “You are never going to lay a hand on Peter again. Is that clear?”

“You think I’m afraid of you, you punk?” Peter’s father shouted back. “I know all about you – a drug addict loser just like my kid.”

With horror, Michelle watched as Marcus began wailing on Peter’s father. His mother was screaming for him to stop, Peter was cowering next to Michelle, and Marcus only finally stopped when he hit Peter’s father’s nose and blood began gushing. “When you’ve sobered up, call Peter’s aunt, and she can get you the paperwork to sign.”

Without another word, Marcus turned around and stormed out of the house. Looking at Peter’s mother, who was trying to come to the aid of her injured husband but was repeatedly being pushed back roughly, Michelle put her arm around Peter and led him out of the house and towards the car.

The ride to Peter’s aunt’s house was silent. When they arrived, Peter sat in the backseat for a moment in the still car. “I can handle my aunt and uncle,” he said, his voice wavering. “I’ll, um, call you guys later this week and let you know where everything stands.”

Turning around in the seat, Michelle gave Peter a small smile and reached out to squeeze his arm. He looked at her with appreciation before glancing over at Marcus with what could only be described as a look of fear. Then he got out of the car and walked up towards the house.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Michelle shouted at Marcus once Peter was safely inside the house. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Looking at Michelle with shock, Marcus’s expression quickly turned to one of anger. “What are you talking about?” he yelled. “I was protecting Peter!”

“By beating his father until he was bloody?” Michelle asked incredulously. “You couldn’t have just gotten Peter out of there, out of that house, away from that man? You had to show Peter that you can be just as vindictive, just as violent, as the man you were trying to protect him from? That poor boy is scared silly of you right now, don’t you get that at all?”

Shaking his head, Marcus couldn’t control the anger he was feeling, so he began driving back towards his apartment without saying a word. As they pulled into the parking lot and he shut off the ignition, Marcus finally turned to Michelle. “Go home,” he said in a hard voice. “I don’t want to see you right now.”

“You know what?” Michelle shot back angrily, her eyes the color of steel. “I don’t even know who you are anymore. Do you really think you’re the only one who’s going through all this shit right now? God, you can be such an asshole.”

“I said that I don’t want to see you right now,” Marcus repeated coldly. “Get out.”

Shaking her head, Michelle opened the door to the car. “Go to hell, Marcus,” she said as she let herself out of the vehicle and stormed across the parking lot. Marcus just watched her as he drove off, having no regrets because his anger being the only thing he could focus on at the moment.

Inside his apartment, Marcus threw his car keys on the end table and flopped on the bed. At that exact moment, his phone started ringing. “Fuck!” he yelled out loud. “What now?”

Picking up the phone, Marcus grumbled a hello. “Marcus?” a soft voice came over the line. “It’s Janette. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

Taking a deep breath, Marcus tried to pull himself together. “No, Janette, it’s okay,” he told her. “How are you doing?”

Before he knew what was happening, Marcus was listening to Janette sob on the other line. “I… I’m sorry to call you. I tried… tried Tony first, but I just… I just got his machine.” Her words were barely comprehendible due to her sobbing.

“It’s okay,” Marcus replied. “What’s wrong?”

Nothing but soft sobs came through the phone for a moment, but then Marcus heard Janette’s voice again. “I’m sorry,” she told him sadly. “It’s just… I made Seamus go to work tonight, since I was sleepy anyway. And I laid on the couch and I guess I fell asleep, and I started having these awful nightmares…” Her words faded off into sobs once again.

”Do you want me to come over?” Marcus asked her with concern.

“No,” Janette was definite. “No, I just… I just needed to hear a friendly voice. I just wanted to talk to someone… someone I feel safe with. I wanted to talk to a friend.”

Feeling an overwhelming headache take over his head, Marcus closed his eyes. “Well, I’m here,” he told her gently. “I’m your friend. So are Michelle, and Tony, and Sean. Is Seamus coming back to your place after he gets off work tonight?”

“Yeah,” Janette sounded quite a bit more relieved as she remembered this fact. “And the bar closes early tonight, since it’s Sunday, so he should be here a little after midnight.”

“Is there anything I can do in the meantime?” Marcus asked.

“No,” Janette replied, appreciation obvious in her voice. “No, you’ve already done it. I just needed to talk to someone, to calm myself down.”

”Well, you know if you need to talk more, or if you need someone to come by, even, you can just call,” Marcus offered.

“Thanks Marcus,” Janette said genuinely. “But no. This is something I’m going to have to learn to deal with. I’m going to have to learn to not be afraid to be by myself in my own apartment. But I really appreciate the offer.”

”Anytime,” Marcus said, his headache getting worse by the minute. “Maybe you should take one of those sleeping pills the doctor gave you.”

“That’s a good idea,” Janette replied. “You know, you sound exhausted yourself. You should try to get some sleep, too.”

“I will,” Marcus told her.

”Okay, well, I’m going to go now,” Janette said. “Thanks again, Marcus, for talking to me, and for being my friend.”

As Marcus hung up the phone, he felt overcome with a sense of helplessness. His head was pounding, as was his fist from hitting Peter’s father. Michelle’s words kept running through his mind, getting him angrier and angrier. And speaking to Janette had just reminded him that there was nothing he could do – really – to help his friends. Everyone had to get through things alone, and that was an extremely depressing realization.

Rising from the bed, Marcus went into the kitchen and took a bottle of aspirin from the cupboard, throwing two into his mouth and swallowing without water. He then grabbed a towel and reached for the freezer to get some ice to put on his hand. As he opened the freezer door, he noticed something.

A bottle of vodka sat on the shelf, three-quarters full. It must have been accidentally left after a party at his house by Sean or Tony, or someone like that. Without thinking, Marcus pulled it out of the freezer and sat down at the kitchen table with the freezing bottle in his hands. He stared at it for a moment, overcome with memories of how the drink he was holding could dull pain, could stop him from thinking so much, could help him sleep. Pushing any thoughts of consequences or warnings out of his brain, Marcus opened the bottle and brought it to his lips.

-----

OKAY, SO THERE ARE TWO MORE CHAPTERS LEFT. I HAVE THEM OUTLINED. I KNOW A LOT OF READERS GAVE UP ON THIS STORY, AND I REALLY APPRECIATE THOSE WHO DIDN’T. I DON’T LIKE LEAVING A STORY UNFINISHED, EVEN IF IT DOESN’T FLOW THE WAY I ORIGINALLY INTENDED. IN THE MEANTIME, I STILL LIKE GETTING FEEDBACK, SO IF YOU HAVE THE TIME TO COMMENT, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. THANKS.