Why Bother?

It was hard to believe that summer was over and senior year had begun already for Joanne. Prom had been the last time she had really spoken to Jake, and she was slowly coming to terms with not having him in her life anymore. It helped Joanne a lot that she was growing closer to her new group of friends, and that she always had her parents and Mark to rely on when she was having a bad day.

“Another year, the same gross cafeteria food,” Joanne put down the piece of cardboard that her school insisted was actually pizza and looked up at April a few weeks into the new school year. “You know, when I was younger, I thought that when I started senior year, everything would change: I’d be gorgeous, I would have boys clamoring after me, I’d have a brand new car, and lunches would actually be edible.”

“Stop complaining,” April broke a crumb off the cookie she was nibbling on and tossed it at Joanne. “You are gorgeous, Scott Tompkins nearly wet himself when you said hello to him in the hall this morning, your parents let you have your mom’s car, and you should bring your own lunch, like I do.”

Picking up the cookie crumb that had landed on her tray, Joanne tossed it back at April. “You’re too literal,” she made a face at her friend. “I’m supposed to be able to bitch to you, remember?”

Rolling her eyes, April stood up. “Yes, how horrible a friend I am to tell you how beautiful you are,” she teased. “Anyway, I want to stop by the newspaper office before lunch is over. Want to come with?”

“No thanks,” Joanne stood up as well, picking up her tray. “I’m going to use the bathroom. I’ll see you in Pre-Calc.”

“Don’t remind me,” April groaned as the two girls threw their trash in the garbage. “I’ll see you later.”

Walking down the hallway, Joanne couldn’t help but smile a little to herself. Despite her complaining to April, she was actually starting to feel okay about her life again. Entering the bathroom, she had to smile when she saw Eve. ‘Of course,’ she thought silently. ‘I jinxed myself. Whenever I forget about Jake or Eve for five minutes, they somehow find a way to come roaring back into my mind.’

“Hey, Joanne,” Eve spun around when she saw the reflection in the mirror. “Can you believe we’re finally seniors?”

“It’s hard to believe,” Joanne replied.

“So how are you doing?” Eve asked, tilting her head to the side a little. The familiarity of the gesture made a little lump form in the back of Joanne’s throat. She had spent so much time in the last year missing Jake, she hadn’t realized how much she missed spending time with Eve, too.

“I’m doing okay,” Joanne said. “How are you?”

Turning back to the mirror, Eve started fixing her hair. Joanne knew that not looking someone in the eye was something Eve did when she was nervous. “I’m doing good,” she told Joanne. “My mom and I moved over the summer into another house. It’s smaller, but I like it. But it’s weird not having Jake around.”

At the mention of Jake’s name, Joanne felt like her stomach had filled with lead. “Oh, how’s he doing at college so far?”

Spinning around again, Eve looked at Joanne with a sympathetic smile. “He likes it there,” she told her. “He seems like he’s pretty busy, but…”

“But?” Joanne asked, praying that the hope in her voice didn’t betray her.

Sighing, Eve looked right into Joanne’s eyes. “He misses you.” Swallowing hard, Joanne didn’t know whether to grin or cry at this news, but she didn’t have long to think about it as Eve continued speaking. “We talked a lot about you right before he left. We talked about how it was good that you and Mark became friends, and how we both miss you guys… So, um, how is Mark?”

“He still misses you,” Joanne said softly, not bothering to say anything else. She knew that this is what Eve really wanted to know. “A lot.”

Nodding, Eve looked down at the floor for a moment. When she looked up, Joanne recognized the look on her face. It was the expression that Eve used whenever she didn’t want to continue a topic of conversation anymore. “Anyway,” Eve unsurprisingly changed gears. “Are you planning on going to homecoming this year?”

“No,” Joanne said quickly. “Not a chance.”

“I’m sure someone’s asked you,” Eve replied, giving Joanne a serious look. “Or you could just go with a friend. But you shouldn’t miss your senior year homecoming.”

“I did get asked,” Joanne admitted. “And Mark also offered to go and keep me company. But I just have no desire to go.”

“What are you doing instead, then?” Eve asked.

Shrugging, Joanne gave Eve a small smile. “Staying home, watching TV, eating until I gain a hundred pounds. You know, the usual.”

Suddenly, a sly smile started spreading over Eve’s face, making Joanne nervous. “Well, that doesn’t sound too terrible,” she told Joanne. “I don’t think that’s such a bad idea at all, actually. Anyway, I should go now. I’ll see you.”

“See you, Eve,” Joanne watched the beautiful blond flounce out of the bathroom. ‘Now what was that look about?’ she thought nervously to herself.

-----

“Hand over the Doritos.”

“No. You’ve already eaten half the bag.”

Lunging for the bag, Joanne tried to take it from Mark, but failed. “Hey, this is my pathetic homecoming night!” she pouted. “That means I should get to eat the pepperoni off the pizza – even your slices, eat as many Doritos and Fritos as I want, and pick some sappy crappy chick flick to watch.”

“And why did I come over here to keep you company again?” Mark chuckled.

“Because you’re my friend,” Joanne reminded him, grabbing the bag of chips from him when he wasn’t paying attention. “Ah ha!” she said triumphantly. “Anyway, next week when your school is having homecoming, you get these same rights of pity-ability bestowed on you.”

“Is that even a word?” Mark smirked. “Anyway, no need for that. I’ve decided to go to the dance next week.”

“That’s great,” Joanne said, truly happy for her friend. “What made you change your mind?”

Biting his lip, Mark’s cheeks tinged slightly pink. “Actually,” he smiled at Joanne. “That cute new girl I told you about that I thought was checking me out in my Government class? Apparently, I was right. She got the nerve to ask me yesterday.”

“That’s awesome,” Joanne told Mark sincerely. “I hope you have a wonderful time.”

“Yep,” Mark put his hand into the bag of Doritos and pulled out a chip, studying it like it was incredibly fascinating so that he wouldn’t have to look at Joanne as he spoke. “I guess I’m moving on finally. That means there’s only one of us left that still needs to move on. Go out. Meet guys. Date. God, just kiss some random dude in the hallway. Anything, Jo. You’re killing me here.”

Rolling her eyes, Joanne took a handful of chips out of the bag. “Unlike some people,” she said pointedly. “I guess I am emotionally stunted. I’m just not ready, Mark. The idea of kissing some guy… it’s just not even something I can picture.”

“Unless it’s Jake, right?” Mark asked, not unkindly, although the question elicited an angry glare from Joanne. “Come on, Jo. Don’t get pissed off; you know I’m right. You’re just still hung up on Jake, and you’re missing out on having a good time with a bunch of nice, fun guys that would kill to spend a night hanging out with a funny, smart, beautiful girl like you.”

Looking at Mark, Joanne frowned and threw a Dorito at him. “Don’t compliment me,” she told him. “It’s goes against the grain of our friendship.”

Throwing his hands in the air, Mark laughed in frustration. “Fine, fine, I’ll let this go for now,” he said. “But just remember that my friend Hunter was asking about you all summer after I took you to that party in my neighborhood. He’s a good guy; I’ve known him for years. He’d love to take you out-”

“Mark,” Joanne interrupted, her voice a warning. “I thought you said you would let this go for now.”

“And I am,” Mark gave Joanne such a wide-eyed, innocent expression, she couldn’t help but laugh.

At that moment, the doorbell rang. “You’re lucky that the Jehovah’s Witnesses chose this minute to try to show me the light,” Joanne told Mark as she rose from the couch, wiping Dorito crumbs from her lap. “Otherwise, you were getting ready for a beat down.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” Mark called haughtily over the back of the couch.

“Oh, you should be,” Joanne laughed, opening the door. When she saw who was standing there, her mouth dropped open. “Jake?” she asked in complete confusion.

Dressed in a suit and holding a small bouquet of flowers, Jake looked incredibly nervous – and incredibly gorgeous – as he stood in the doorway. “Hey, Jo,” his voice was a bit shaky as he looked at Joanne. “Can I come in?”

Too stunned to say anything, Joanne nodded and moved to the side to allow Jake into her house. Time seemed to be moving very slowly, and Joanne still couldn’t find her voice as she closed the door. If not for Mark coming over at that moment, Joanne was pretty sure she may have fainted.

“Hey Jake,” Mark came over to the door and greeted Jake. “How are you doing? How’s college treating you?”

“Hey Mark,” Jake smiled and put out his hand to shake Mark’s. “Good to see you. College is fine, thanks. How’s senior year going?”

With a look of complete confusion, Joanne just watched as Jake and Mark made idle chitchat in front of her. Finally, Marked turned to Joanne. “Well, this would be my cue to leave,” he said as he grabbed his jacket from the hook on the back of the door. “Jake, it was good to see you. Jo, give me a call tomorrow, okay?”

Nodding dumbly, Joanne watched as Mark left before finally turning to Jake. Finally forcing herself to speak, she cringed when she heard which words her mind had decided to give voice to. “What are you doing here?”

Looking a bit uncomfortable, Jake wouldn’t meet Joanne’s eyes. “My dad gets released on Monday,” he told Joanne, not wanting to see the shock and sympathy he knew would be expressed by her big brown eyes. “And he’s been fighting this divorce from prison ever since my mom put in the separation papers. I just wanted to be here for a few days, to make sure everything is okay when my mom finally sees him.”

Chewing on her bottom lip, Joanne nodded awkwardly. “Okay,” she said slowly. “That makes sense why you’re in town. And that’s really nice of you to go out of your way like that for your mom. But, um… why are you HERE? Like, in my house, here?”

“Can we talk in the living room?” Jake looked into Joanne’s eyes finally, motioning towards the other room. Joanne said nothing, just turning and walking. Jake followed her and took a seat on the couch. He looked like he was about to say something several times, but each time he stopped himself. Finally, he blushed and gave Joanne a small grin. “This is really hard,” he admitted.

Not saying anything, Joanne just looked at him expectantly. “See,” Jake started again. “The thing is… I’ve been thinking about things a lot lately. I’ve been trying to make sense of my life, you know, in regards to my family and in regards to you. And I’ve been trying to move on; I’ve been on a few dates since school started, but they all sucked. I felt badly, too, because knew it wasn’t the girls’ fault. It was mine.”

“I still don’t get why you’re here,” Joanne looked at him, her voice barely above a whisper. “You said an awful lot of things last year-”

“I was wrong,” Jake said suddenly, letting go of the bouquet in his hands and not even noticing when it fell to the floor. Instead, he reached over and took Joanne’s hands. “I came here to tell you that I was wrong, and I’m sorry. What you did last year took so much courage, and it was the right thing to do. I know I didn’t think that for a while, but the more time passes, the more I realize it’s true. And the more time passes, the more I also realize how much I still love you, Jo. That’s why I have such terrible times with on dates – because the only girl I want to be with is you.”

Joanne just sat silently, her eyes wide. Jake here, in a suit, telling her he loved her, begging her forgiveness: this felt so much like a recurring dream she had that if she was dressed in an evening gown instead of baggy jeans and a t-shirt covered in Doritos crumbs, she would be sure she had fallen asleep.

Getting nervous because Joanne still hadn’t responded, Jake decided to continue. “Eve called me last weekend,” he told Joanne. \"She said she had spoken to you and that you weren’t going to Homecoming. And she recommended I get down here right away and tell you all the things I’ve been thinking for the last three months. So, without saying what else is going to happen in the future, could I at least take you to Homecoming tonight?”

“Hey kids,” Mrs. Anderson’s voice came into the living room, interrupting Joanne’s crippling silence. “I got some ice cream, if you want.” As soon as she entered the living room, though, she froze. Obviously, she thought she had been talking to Mark and Joanne. “Jake?” she asked with as much shock as her daughter had when she answered the door fifteen minutes earlier.

“Hello Mrs. Anderson,” Jake stood up, looking awkward and uncomfortable. “Um, I was in town, so I thought… I wanted to see… if Joanne wanted to go to Homecoming with me.”

Raising her eyebrows at the stuttering boy in front of her, Mrs. Anderson suddenly looked slightly amused. Putting down her bag of groceries, she put out her arms. “Come here and give me a hug, Jake,” she said, seeing relief in the boy’s eyes immediately. She embraced him briefly and stepped back. “Well, it has been a while. You look great, though. So, Joanne, are you planning on going to the dance? You could borrow that dress I wore to Madeline’s wedding last month, if you would like.”

Looking at her mother, Joanne saw a small encouraging smile being sent her way. “That would be great, Mom,” she said softly. “Thanks.” Turning to Jake, she wasn’t sure what to add. “Just give me ten minutes,” she told him.

A big grin crossing his face, Jake nodded. “Absolutely. Take as long as you need.”

Getting ready as quickly as she could, Joanne looked at herself in the mirror once more and sighed. This felt unreal. As she walked to the top of the steps, though, her heart jumped just a little.

Mr. Anderson must have gotten home while Joanne was getting ready. From the top of the staircase, Joanne could see her parents sitting across from Jake in the living room. It had been such a familiar sight for so long, for a moment it felt like the terrible last year had never happened. As Joanne slowly descended the stairs, everyone turned around and smiled at her. It seemed… perfect.

“I’m ready,” Joanne said, amazed the words made it out of her mouth.

“You look beautiful,” Jake quickly moved to her side. “It was really good to see the both of you again, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson,” Jake added with just a breath of shyness.

“It was wonderful to see you, too,” Joanne’s mother assured Jake. “Please, come by anytime. And you kids have fun.”

With that, Joanne and Jake left the house and started walking down the driveway towards his car and towards one very unexpected night.

-----

“Jake Reynolds!” A group of jocks hanging out front of the building greeted Jake as they approached the school. “What the hell are you doing here? How are you? What’s going on? How’s college?” A barrage of questions befell him, but he begged them off with a quick hello. Tonight was about focusing on Joanne, and Jake wasn’t going to let anything ruin that.

Inside, Jake and Joanne found a table. Joanne had finally been able to shake herself from the haze of shock she had been in earlier, and began actually speaking. She was asking Jake the normal questions – about his classes, his roommate, the soccer team. Just then, Eve arrived at the table, looking as beautiful as ever, with her eyes dancing. “Hi guys!”

“Hi Eve,” Joanne gave the blond a smile. This evening had been, at least in part, Eve’s doing, and Joanne knew that that was Eve’s way of offering her own apology. “Who are you here with?”

Waving behind her randomly, Eve rolled her eyes. “Some guy,” she said, with absolutely no interest. “Just someone so that I don’t get pawed by the losers who came stag, like I did at prom last year. Anyway, I just wanted to say hello. I’ll see you guys around.”

Joanne knew she wasn’t supposed to see the look that was exchanged between Eve and Jake – Eve questioning and Jake looking hopeful – so she looked down at her lap. When she rose her eyes to Jake again, he was staring at her. “What?” she asked self-consciously. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“I’m sorry,” Jake grinned. “I just can’t believe you came. And I can’t believe that you’re even more beautiful than I remembered. I didn’t think that would be possible.”

Blushing, Joanne wasn’t sure how to respond. She still hadn’t had one minute to figure out what was going on in her head. Sure, she appreciated Jake’s apology and his admission of love, but was that enough? After all she had been through during the last year – all the pain over losing Jake, all the worry about what would happen to his family, all the agony over the decisions she had made – could he really just show up one night with a bouquet and an apology and expect to make everything better?

“I don’t expect you to forgive me for how I treated you,” Jake said suddenly, shocking Joanne by being so in tune with her thoughts. “I didn’t come here expecting to be able to go back to the way things used to be, as much as I wish I could. I just came here to tell you what I told you, and to make the first step towards maybe – possibly – making things up to you enough for you to forgive me. And then maybe – possibly – sometime in the far, far future, maybe – possibly – you might consider… me. You might consider me.”

Swallowing hard, Joanne studied Jake’s beautiful features. “I appreciate all that,” Joanne said simply. “I do.”

Nodding, what Joanne said seemed to be enough for Jake; he seemed to understand her implicitly. “Well, we are at a dance,” he motioned to the room and tilted his head towards the crowd. “Could I persuade you to dance with me?”

Standing up, Joanne took Jake’s hand and smiled. “I think that could be arranged,” she told him softly, following him out to the dance floor.

-----

“You guys seemed to keep busy on the dance floor all night,” Eve approached Jake and Joanne again towards the end of the night. “Did everyone have fun?”

Looking at Joanne, Jake felt his heart skip a beat. “Absolutely,” he said, squeezing Joanne’s hand as he looked at his sister, his eyes dancing. The night had turned out better than Jake had ever hoped. After talking about his hopes and expectations, he and Joanne were able to then just enjoy each other’s company. It was so much like when they were together, Jake kept forgetting for a moment here or there that they weren’t anymore.

“I’m glad,” Eve smiled at the two people seated in front of her. “Anyway, I’m going to get going. I just wanted to say bye.”

“You don’t need a ride?” Jake asked, ever the protective brother.

With an amused smirk, Eve shook her head. “I’ll be fine, Jake,” she told her brother. “You just worry about getting your own date home safely. I’ll see you later tonight.” Turning towards Joanne, Eve’s face softened. “Jo, I just want you to know…”

“I know,” Joanne didn’t need Eve to finish her sentence. “Maybe we can hang out one night this week?”

“I’d like that,” Eve smiled appreciatively at Joanne before saying goodbye once more.

Once Eve was gone, Joanne turned to Jake. “You know, it is getting pretty late,” she told him. “Would it be okay if you took me home now?”

“That’s fine,” Jake told Joanne, using ever ounce of self-control in his body not to reach over and stroke her cheek the way every fiber of his being wanted to. “Come on, let’s go.”

-----

“I had fun tonight,” Joanne told Jake honestly as he walked her to her front door. “I’m really glad you came over tonight.”

“I’m glad that you’re glad,” Jake gave Joanne a nervous smile as he climbed the porch steps with her. Staring down at his shoes, he buried his hands in his pockets as Joanne leaned against a wooden pole. “Listen, Joanne, about everything I said earlier-”

“Jake,” Joanne interrupted him, looking up with wide round eyes. “I haven’t said much tonight, so I think you deserve to know some of what I’m thinking.” The look of nervousness on Jake’s face just increased, but he nodded encouragingly for Joanne to continue. “Jake, getting over you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” she admitted, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m not sure I would have the strength to ever do that again.”

Taking a step towards Joanne, Jake stopped fighting his urge and reached up to touch her cheek with his fingertips. “I am so sorry,” he told her, the earnestness in his voice clear. “I am so sorry that I hurt you so badly, especially when all you were doing was trying to protect me. And I don’t mean to sound like an arrogant ass, but I have to ask you… You said getting over me was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. So… are you? Over me?”

Swallowing hard, Joanne looked into Jake’s dark, hopeful eyes and slowly shook her head in answer to his question.

“And I’m not over you,” Jake told Joanne softly.

Nodding, Joanne just looked at Jake for a minute. Then she took him by surprise, sliding her arms around his neck and pulling him down until his mouth met hers. It only took a moment for Jake to respond, sliding his arms around Joanne’s waist and pulling her body close to his. This was more than he would have hoped for when he approached Joanne’s house earlier that evening, but he wasn’t going to waste this moment thinking about that. No, right now he was going to concentrate on nothing but Joanne.

The scent that surrounded Joanne; the smell of soap and cologne and an indescribable ‘Jake’ scent filled her senses. His breath was hot as his lips parted over hers, his tongue reaching out to trace the soft skin of her bottom lip. Unconsciously, Joanne opened her own mouth a little, inviting Jake to deepen the kiss. This is what she had missed so much, what she had been dreaming about for a year – and now it was really happening.

Several minutes later, Joanne and Jake reluctantly pulled apart. Both were short of breath, both were flushed, and both could hear their hearts beating in their ears. “Well,” Joanne said. “I should, um, get inside.”

“Yeah,” Jake nodded, looking at her for some sign of what that kiss had meant.

Taking a few steps towards the door, Joanne put her hand on the door handle and paused. “Why don’t you give me a call tomorrow?” she said nervously, without turning around. “We can have lunch or something, and talk.” With that, she opened the door, entered her house, and closed the door behind her.

With a huge smile moving across his face, Jake wanted to holler out loud about how happy he was, but he controlled himself. Almost skipping back down the driveway to his car, he tried not to think about how things finally seemed to be going right…

-----

THANKS AGAIN TO ALL WHO HAVE REVIEWED THIS STORY. ONLY THREE MORE CHAPTERS LEFT! AND YES, IF THIS STORY WERE A MOVIE, THE LAST LINE OF THIS CHAPTER WOULD HAVE BEEN FOLLOWED BY OMINOUS MUSIC.

A FEW COMMENTS:

IOTC247: UM, I’M A LITTLE AFRAID BECAUSE OF YOUR COMMENT…

TAYE: I FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE JUST MEANT TO BE FRIENDS. JOANNE AND MARK FEEL THAT WAY TO ME.

FOAMYFAN15010: THANKS FOR THE CONTINUED SUPPORT, AND YOUR NEW STORY ROCKS (SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO REVIEW IT).

SILENT ENVY: 1) NOTHING MORE THAN HAS BEEN SHOWN, 2) UMM.. 3) JAKE WASN’T MENTIONED BY NAME IN THE FIRST CHAPTER, BUT HE WAS ALLUDED TO, 4) NO, SILLY!

WOLF: THE THREATS, THEY SCARE ME… BUT THANKS FOR THE COMPLIMENTS!

SPECIAL THANK YOUS TO SESSHY_LOVER, LUSTFUL X MAGIC, FRAN, SILVERWOLF, AND SPHYNX FOR TAKING THE TIME TO REVIEW.