Guardian

******Author's note***********

It's been awhile....and I suck I know :(....

Reviews:

Misawo: So sorry this took so long. Alot of stuff has happened, but I haven't given up. Already writing the next chappie, but had to end it there cuz I'm evil. As for your questions, I can't tell you it would spoil the surprise!

reckless_fire: Thanks for your support, hopefully you'll read this chapter too!

Onihime: I like Matt too...gosh that must make me a masochist...and Andy too O.O! haha. There's some self-analyzation in here hope you're still reading!

MnMs: I would say that making Matt mad is her excuse, as you'll see. As for Matt and Becca that pack is a tight-knit community ;P. We'll have to wait for Matt and Ande's developement.

SightsoBlind: sorry I couldn't pull this out for your birthday. Thanks for the virtual cookies! LOVES COOOKIES! NUMNUMNUM.

Anon: Thanks for your support. It will get finished slowly but surely. :)

Bee: I love long comments, too! hehe. Sorry this wasn't so soon. This chapter was pretty much filler, which sucks I know, after the long wait, but the next chapter is when the real shit begins, bwahahahah!

Monddame: Yay! I love it when things are logical! As they so often make no sense to me, haha. Hope you keep reading and don't give up on me! :)

Shadowkeepre: Glad to have made your night, hopefully you'll be happy withthis chapter too, even if its just filler. It means the story is moving.

xox_girl: EvilGenius performs CPR with another chapter!

Oneshot_Yaoi_Shipper: I finally got it out...I know I suck!!!!!!!! I hate me!!!!...thanks for reading :P

DHM: I know! Finally its here!

onion: Nope, not abandoned, just put aside while getting Real Life crap in order. On to the sexy beasties! bwahahaha!


YAY! STORY TIME XD!.......................................


Chapter 16

I wanted to stay in the comforting cool of the dark, the place where everything was numb, where there was no pain. But I was slowly being dragged toward the light, beckoned by sensation that called with slow throbbing agony.

It started between my eyes, thudding slowly, nauseatingly to the back of my head. I swallowed with a dry tongue, wishing for just a sip of water. As I gulped air, my throat protested, muscles stiff from cold and injury. My stomach gave a queasy shudder and I needed to sit up.

I jerked and wished that I hadn’t. The world spun wickedly and I listed to the side, stopped by a cold palm on my shoulder. Icy fingers cupped the back of my neck, easing the gag reflex I was fighting.

Cold seeped into me, and I began to shiver. The arms that wrapped around me and pulled me upright didn’t help. They were the same temperature as the frosted dirt beneath us.

“Too much, too soon,” the vampire sighed, wrapping rough cloth around my shoulders. I recognized the jean jacket I kept in the backseat.

I didn’t say anything.

I wanted to ignore him. Ignore everything I was feeling, like the fact that I had done something monumentally stupid…again. And I hated how pleasant it felt to have his voice make a pleasant vibration against my side.

But he didn’t give me any warmth, which my shuddering body craved. He did nothing but block the wind, which whistled past him to tickle my jaw and nose. I buried my face into the curve of his neck, evading the worst of it.

It made me feel ashamed.

Ashamed that I didn’t move away. Couldn’t stand up and leave. That I was huddled in his arms like a child afraid of the dark.

That I had run to a new monster trying to escape the old one.

That I liked they way he held me, even though I knew it meant nothing. That to him, I meant nothing but an easy meal.

He probably thought I was an idiot, too. And desperate…

I couldn’t stop the painful lump forming in my throat. It made my nose sting, and I knew in about two seconds my eyes were going to start an all out pity-party.

I scrunched them up tight, and held my breath, biting my lips so that it wouldn’t turn into a sob. My chest gave a painful wrench as the reality hit me.

“I don’t want to be this way,” I whispered, pushing myself away. He didn’t stop me. I felt sick at the part of me that was disappointed.

I didn’t want to be this desperate for-

“No!” I blinked, only just recognizing that I had said the word out loud in my attempt to deny my own thoughts.

I swallowed and steeled myself to look at him. It made me cringe to see his face. Emotionless, yet every line seemed to be set by God to perfection. I felt small and ugly…like I didn’t deserve to be touching him…to be touched by him…

I flinched when his fingertips met my cheek, and curled so that the backs caressed my skin.

“You’re so…naive,” he breathed. There was a hint of wonder in his voice, as if I was some kind of rare animal at the zoo. He pulled me close again, and I couldn’t fight it. My body melted into him so easily, I wanted to cry for its traitorous passivity.

He stroked my back like a small child, breathing his words into my hair, “I want to spoil you until no one else will have you.”

Why couldn’t I say anything? My mind was a humming blank as I listened to him sigh.

“I could take my time,” he whispered, pressing me close. “I could do it gently…”

My nostrils flared as the first tear escaped, running hot down my cheek, across my nose and onto his shoulder.

“I could take you away from here.”

My eyes closed. Those were the words I wanted to hear the most. He had tasted my weaknesses, locked in blood.

This was a lie. A trick. I knew it…the flood of tears running down my face wouldn’t let the truth hide.

He was bringing my dreams to life.

And for a moment I didn’t say no. For a moment I let myself believe, locking away this feeling in my memory. The texture of his shirt, and the strong chest beneath. The security of the arms around me and the rhythm of his voice humming into me.

But slowly returning reality had to be the cruelest part.

It was cruel because he was saying all the lines, dripping from his mouth like amber honey. But underneath all that sweetness was the bitter taste of poison. One that I would crave until I could have nothing but its empty promises.

I pushed back, trying to swallow the painful knot clogging my throat, as my nose and eyes continued to run.

Cool fingers brushed away my tears, accompanied by soft soothing words.

“Don’t,” I gasped. “Just…don’t.”

His movements paused.

For a long moment there was silence, broken only by my own huffing breath.

“Isn’t this what you came here for?” he asked.

I shook my head, swatting away the fresh burst of salty water.

His silence accused.

“It’s not!” I shouted, falling back from his lap and onto my own shaky knees. “I just wanted to get rid of Matt!”

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold in the sudden pain.

“Liar.”

I glared at him.

“I’m. Not,” I said. “I didn’t want this.”

For a moment he looked at me, those cold eyes boring into me. And for the first time he didn’t look like a young and beautiful dream. I could see the mask…and what was underneath. That ancient thing that I would never understand. But it could see me. It could see right through me.

“But I wanted to give it to you…your dream.”

I shook my head, suddenly certain. “You can’t.”

I withstood another agonizing stare, before he stood.

“Then don’t come here again,” he said. “If you do…I’ll be waiting, and I’ll take everything.”

It was painful, forcing myself to swallow the sudden lump of fear as I stared at the brown grass. When I looked back up, he was gone…

With the help of my bumper I stood. Shakily I made it to the driver’s side door and got in, thankful for the marginally warmer cab. My head swam as I turned the key, and a split second of worry hit me as I wondered if I should be driving.

But I didn’t have a choice. There was no one else…and I couldn’t stay here.

I’d just have to take it slow.

I swung the car around in a wide arc, barely going five miles per hour. My head pulsed and grey dots danced at the edge of my vision. I crept down the gravel drive way, easing into a stop as my headlights met the highway…just…slow…

I swung the car in a careful arc into the asphalt. I slammed my foot on the brakes as my vision clouded over and my hearing buzzed into nothingness. I slapped myself…No!…

Slowly my vision cleared and I was able to breathe. The highway was illuminated below my headlights. I was okay. I could do this. Just slow…and…easy…

…….

……………………….

WHAM!

The sound of screaming, twisting metal burst through my ears.

My eyes jerked open as my head slammed back against the seat and my stomach rose up to my throat. The seconds seemed to drag into infinity as I watched the line of rock float below my mangled hood, and then a drop of at least thirty feet bottomed by a forest of pine.

For the barest of instants it felt as if the car hovered there, frozen, and then we came crashing down, my nova and I. The front bumper smashed into the mountain side first, crushing in on itself. The impact rebounded into me, jarring my bones, and I thought they all must have shattered.

The car teetered on its front like a spinning top, and then…started to fall. I screamed as the world turned upside down, my seatbelt digging into my neck and waist, as the roof crunched against the rock face. Glass cracked and shattered, sending sharp pieces flying through the air. With a sound one thousand times worse than nails scraping across a chalkboard, the car began to slide down the rock face.

I tried to breathe as all the blood I had left rushed to my head.

Ohmygod…whatdoIdo? WhatdoIdo? WHATDOIDO?!

I had to get out before the cliff. I wouldn’t survive it…Ohmigod…

My fingers fumbled frantically with the seatbelt. Tugging, pulling, because for some reason I had forgotten how the stupid thing worked…

I felt the trunk of the car dip and screamed, giving up and bracing my hands against the door and passenger seat.

I am going to die. And its going to hurt.

I AM GOING TO DIE.

“HELP ME!!!!”

And then came the sickening drop.