August

April 2: Sunday

Phidias had spent the past two days in pre-wedding private counseling. On the first day, his counselor had mostly cooed over him, making the appropriate ooh's and aah's and asking over his ring. On the second day, he'd helped Phidias fill out the hundred and one forms he needed to file; marriage licenses, custody claims, suspension of coursework, and more. Today, he'd settled down to business.
"So are you going to be prepared when your husband tries to fuck you?"
Phidias flushed immediately. Henrik had pressed nothing sexual on him - not yet, although he'd made it clear that would be expected. Phidias looked at his hands.
"I'm sure I'll be fine." he mumbled. The Counselor shook his head.
"No, you won't. You're going to go home tonight, and you're going to get a stomachache just thinking about it. Then tomorrow, you're going to think about it some more and your vision's going to get blurry. Then on the day of the wedding, you'll start having panic attacks, and you'll be vomiting in the bridal suite by ten a.m."
Phidias blanched at the harsh prediction, delivered so matter-of-factly. The Counselor must have recognized that his words stung, because he leaned forward, balancing his notepad on one thigh, to touch Phidias' knee.
"But listen, Phidias, that's what I'm here to prevent. We don't want a repeat of the first time you tried to do your exercises."
The color returned to Phidias' face at the reminder of his...reactivity to touching himself. The Counselor was looking concerned now, trying to meet his eyes.
"I want to help you, remember. But if you can't even come to terms with your sexuality, how do you expect to share it with someone else?"
Phidias didn't like this conversation. He twisted his ring nervously and pulled his knee away from the Counselor's touch.
"I am comfortable. I can touch myself now. I mean, I did the exercises and everything. It just took me some time. And I even looked in the mirror at my last exam."
The Counselor folded his hands in his lap.
"Have you brought yourself to orgasm?"
Phidias dropped his eyes, embarrassed, and shook his head.
"I mean, I have a kid."
"Proof positive that you can do it."
Phidias glared at him.
"I meant that Caddy's always in the house, and - "
"Bullshit."
Phidias looked up.
"I'm sorry?"
The Counselor looked unperturbed.
"Bullshit. You're home plenty of times without Caddy there. He's at school, he's off with his friends, he's watching a movie. You're in the shower, you're in the bath, you're alone in your room at night."
Phidias hesitated.
"I can't."
The Counselor nodded.
"I know. But you have to."
Despair crept into Phidias' voice.
"Why? Why do I have to? Why can't I just - "
"Lie back and think of England?" the Counselor interrupted, a little snidely. "Because that puts yet another aspect - the sexuality of your relationship fully under Henrik's control. You've already agreed to let him initiate it, him lead it; now only he gets to enjoy it, as well? This is your body, Phidias. You should love what you do with it. And, more importantly, you should learn what you need and what you like so that you can make him work for your orgasm."
Phidias twiddled his thumb.
"What if he doesn't want to?"
The Counselor raised an eyebrow.
"If Henrik is as good a man as you say he is, then increasing the enjoyment that his partner takes from sex can only enhance the experience for him. Trust me, he'll want to see you cum."
Phidias bit his lip. He felt sick. This was a whole new set of expectations; taking Henrik's cock, letting a man fuck him - these were things he was prepared to deal with. Having to like it? That, he was not.

~:~

Caddy and Phidias spent Saturday night at Henrik's house. Henrik had a sizable television in the basement den, and so he and Phidias sat together on the sofa with Caddy on the floor in front of them and settled in to watch a government film about a runaway carrier. Sometime during the first few scenes, Phidias found himself being tugged over to lean against Henrik. He wanted to resist at first, protest that he needed his space, but it seemed like the wrong message to send so soon into their relationship.

Halfway through the film, he heard footsteps on the stairs, and shortly Anders wandered in, his skin glistening and hair stuck together in places with sweat, a duffel bag stuffed with clothes slung over one arm. He asked what they were watching.
"Shh!" his father responded.
Caddy looked up from the movie.
"It's called Gamine. It's a government movie. This carrier runs away from his Centre and ends up falling in love with the special officer they send to retrieve him."
Anders raised both eyebrows.
"Ah." he proceeded on through the den to the short hallway which led to his room and closed the door.
Caddy glanced up at Henrik.
"That's Andy's room?"
Henrik frowned, his attention still on the film. The special officer was performing a daring rooftop maneuver to fight off the approaching criminals.
"Anders' room. Yes."
"Does he live here all the time?"
Henrik frowned again and Phidias leaned forward.
"Caddy, hush. We're trying to watch the movie."
Caddy quieted down, but kept glancing at the hallway into which Anders had disappeared. It really wasn't very far.

~:~

James was watching him again. It had been happening a lot lately, and Sheridan wasn't sure if it was because he presented such a ghastly phenomenon, or if James was just checking over his handiwork. In the past week, James had primped, prodded, and in every way he could, altered Sheridan into a better carrier. He had alternately straightened and put curls into Sheridan's hair; he had dressed him in "better" (read: shorter) natoris, he had gone on, in nauseatingly explicit detail, about the multiple ways to please a man, and he had insisted Sheridan cook every meal - "because you need the practice."

Now, Sheridan stood stirring a rich stew on the stove and reflecting on the week.

Two days ago, Soyinka had taken Sheridan and James over to the center to collect their things. Sheridan had felt such relief - such vast pleasure in seeing the brick rise up between the trees. The CEC had always been a cage to him, but now it felt free. There were people here, real people to see and converse with and sit with at lunchtime. Rich was here, and Phidias, and Sol, and about a hundred other people who were not James or Harley or Aaron Soyinka. Aaron had said they'd have the whole day - he could ditch James, pack really quick, then maybe find Rich, find Phidias, stop in to say hi to the lunch group, give his apologies to his professors, and there would still be time enough left to go for a walk in the gardens and catch a viewing of a decent movie. Sheridan had been bouncing in his seat just thinking about it, and Aaron had smiled at him and reached over to take his hand, and kiss it. This had slowed, but not stopped, Sheridan's excitement.

But inside, things were different. His room had been half-packed already. At least, all the heavy items were gone. Which was insulting, but also a relief - it left him more time to do whatever he wanted. Sher sought out Phidias first, but there was no answer at his door, his PGL was out of town, and no one was entirely sure where he'd gone. Finally, Sher managed to track down their mutual counselor friend, from whom he learned that Phidias had recently become engaged, and was most likely occupied with that business at the moment. Sher had abandoned his quest and sought out Rich instead. Rich was nowhere to be found. The grapevine informed him that Rich had been missing for three days. His room had been packed, and moved somewhere. He wasn't expected to return. Defeated, Sheridan went to lunch. There were only three people at the table. Quietly, sadly, he went back to his room and waited for Aaron to come pick him up.


James came up beside him, close. Too close. Sheridan moved away. Injury flashed across James' face, but he decorously hid it, and Sheridan politely pretended it hadn't been seen.
"How's everything coming?"
Sheridan shrugged. James exhaled in annoyance.
"You talk. I know you can talk."
Sheridan didn't answer this.
"Come on, this is beyond childish now. Speak, like a normal human being."
Sheridan ignored him.
"Soyinka's getting tired of it."
Sheridan doubted that. His fiancé had been peculiarly uncritical of his silence during the week; he appeared to be interpreting it as some sort of religious exercise, in which he should not interfere. Rather than press him for conversation, Aaron had simply begun talking to Sheridan, sharing with his fiancée his day, his work, his dreams and his life. Just one week, and Sheridan already felt like he knew the man. James tugged at his elbow, causing Sher's sleeve to dip into the jollof sauce.
"I'm getting tired of it."
Sheridan shot him a scathing look. James understandably shrunk back.
"But you talked at the CEC."
James sounded dangerously close to whining. Whirling from the stove, a red-tipped wooden spoon still clutched in one hand, Sheridan sharply responded,
"Yes, I talked. But not to you. I have nothing to say to you. You're dead to me."
James' face fell.
"Sher."
Sheridan ignored him, turning his full and deliberate attention back to the mixture on the stove.
"Sher." James repeated. Sheridan ignored him.
"SHER!"
This time, Sheridan turned around, but still didn't speak. He regarded James with the stoniest eyes he could muster. James was red, his chest heaving.
"Sheridan, please, listen to me. Just listen to me. Please."
Sheridan waited. James licked his lips nervously.
"Sher, I just wanted to help you - "
"I didn't need your help."
James ignored this and continued.
"But you were close. Don't you get that? You were so close to your deadline. And then what? What will they do with a carrier who marries too late to breed? They'd have killed you, Sher. You'd be dead by now."
Sheridan shrugged and turned to finish with the sauce, removing it gently from the stove.
"I would have been fine."
"No, you wouldn't have! Fuck, Sher, this isn't a joke!"
Sheridan exhaled in irritation and turned to face his friend.
"I had my life in check. I had things under control until you came along and you sold me out! You gave me away to some...some stranger, just so I could sit here, in this little fucking house with you and play makeup all day. You betrayed me, and you called it love. Help. Well, fuck your help, James. I didn't need it."
James looked sadly up at Sheridan.
"But, Sher, you did."
Sheridan sighed and dropped his head.
"Here's the thing. I can't do what you're doing, James. I can't make this work. I can't be that kind of man. I can't do it. I can try, and I can pretend, and I can fake happiness for Aaron, but trust me - that act has got an expiration date. It's going to fall apart, sometime."
James sniffed and reached out a yearning hand to his friend.
"I'm sorry, Sher. But I couldn't let them do it. I - I couldn't let them destroy you."
Sheridan gritted his teeth, working his jaw to keep from slapping James. His friend watched him for a moment, breath quickening. When he spoke, his words were whispered, almost reverent.
"I couldn't let them ruin something so incredibly beautiful."
Sheridan met his eyes, a look of confusion first, but then James leaned forward, impulsively, to capture Sheridan's mouth in a kiss, and he understood. Sheridan allowed it for a minute, then pushed James gently away.
"OK. OK. Enough of that. We're friends."
James looked dazed, a little abashed. His eyes flickered between the floor and the pot by the stove. He couldn't look at Sheridan.
"I'm sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean - "
"I know." Sheridan said kindly. "It's OK." he touched the back of one hand to his mouth, self-consciously. "It's OK." James watched for a minute, then turned his gaze away. "I'm still angry with you, James."
James didn't speak; he was now looking at his hands. Sheridan folded his arms across his chest and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.
"I understand that you wanted something different for me than...the end. But I have wants, too." he opened his eyes, met James' meaningfully. "And in the future, James, please respect that."
James' breath caught in his throat, but he managed to nod. Then, abruptly, he shook his head instead.
"I - I can't promise you that, Sher."
Sheridan gave James a rueful grin.
"I know." he said, reaching forward to put one tentative hand on his friend's shoulder. "I know you can't."

~:~

He was supposed to bleed out over the sheets. That was the point, really, of all this. Adrian stared at the speckled gray of Dr. Step's ceiling as the main doctor of Woodacre pulled his fingers out of him.
"Well, everything looks to be in order. When would you like the wedding to take place, Adrian?"
Adrian hesitated, glancing at Ren.
"Two weeks." Ren answered for him. "Can we make that happen?"
The doctor turned his attention back to Adrian.
"It'll be a short procedure, Adrian, and I'd like you to stay overnight with me, here, OK? When can you do that?"
Adrian hesitated again. He felt pretty vulnerable, laid out on the table like this, his legs spread. He felt exposed. Nervously, he pulled the blanket back down, from where it had been hiked up around his waist.
"Um, I - I don't know. I have to get back to the Centre - "
"Next weekend." Adrian interrupted. "That will give time for healing, won't it? How long will he need before the wedding?"
The doctor looked over at Adrian.
"About a week. Little less. I want to ensure everything heals well enough so that the new hymen will be vascular."
Adrian propped himself up on his elbows.
"I'm going to bleed again?"
The doctor peered up at Adrian over the tops of thin glasses.
"You did the first time?"
Adrian hesitated and glanced at Ren, unsure just how much his stepmother had told the doctor about this. Ren did not look at him, and so he guessed he had told all.
"Yes." Adrian swallowed, his throat thickening with the memory of it. "Everywhere."
the doctor tsk'd and went back to looking over some pages.
"Perfectly good waste. A lot of brides would kill for the natural blood. And you did what - just threw out the sheets?"
Adrian blushed.
"It was a long time ago. I don't remember."
"Mmm." the doctor "Well, you'll bleed again. Not profusely, just enough."
Adrian bit his lip.
"Will it hurt? That night?"
The doctor nodded.
"It should, a little. Not worse than the first time."
Adrian glanced at Ren.
"And they'll - it won't look...weird?"
The doctor frowned in confusion. Adrian clarified.
"They won't be able to tell?"
Dr. Step chuckled.
"The only ones who will know the difference are you, Ren, and your husband. Who is the lucky man, by the way?"
Adrian gazed off into the distance.
"Sean." he answered. "Sean Wick."
The doctor nodded in recognition.
"Of course! Of course. Known you both since you were young. How lovely." A ribald grin overtook the doctor's face. "And quite a man he is, if I remember correctly."
Adrian blushed an infinite red, as Ren regarded the doctor with a sort of vague horror. The doctor chuckled at his own joke and slapped Adrian's calf.
"I'll be careful not to make it too thick."
Ren's horror went from vague to highly specific. The doctor began to write notes down in Adrian's file. Adrian fidgeted uncomfortably on the bed.
"So...can I get up now?"
the doctor looked over at him with some surprise, as if he'd forgotten Adrian was in the room.
"Oh! Oh, yes, certainly." the doctor grinned up at him from between his legs. "You're free to go."

~:~

The movie faded to black and Caddy got up reluctantly to click on the lights. He looked beseechingly at Henrik.
"Another one?"
Henrik blinked his eyes and pulled the arm he had around Phidias forward to glance at his watch. Phidias went along sleepily, half-dozing.
"Mmm. Perhaps later, Cadmus. It is almost bedtime, and I'd prefer you to come upstairs to sleep."
Caddy made a face.
"I never go to bed before like, one."
Henrik inclined his head.
"I didn't say that you had to. Only that you must come upstairs."
Caddy deliberately did not glance back at Anders' door.
"I can just camp out on the sofa down here."
Henrik stared at Cadmus for a moment, then moved his arm, shifting Phidias fully awake. Phidias expressed some concern at this, blinking confusedly into the now-bright world around him. Henrik soothed his fiancée and settled him against the sofa, then leaned forward.
"ANDERS!"
Presently, the young man appeared in the hallway in sleeping clothes, a towel around his neck. He looked quizzically at his father.
"Family meeting." Henrik said, shortly. Phidias was fully awake now, looking warily between Henrik and Cadmus. Henrik indicated the floor beside Caddy. Anders sat.
"We must discuss rules."
Anders raised an eyebrow.
"Right now?"
Henrik glared at him and he silenced.
"There are some new house rules which must be instated. Caddy, I expect these all will be new to you. Anders, I expect there will be some slight changes for you, but nothing unmanageable."
Anders inclined his head and set his jaw. Caddy almost swooned.
"Henrik, I thought we talked about all the rules the other night, when - "
"No. Those were expectations, Phidias, and they were for us. These are issues of the household."
"But - "
"Head of household speaks first, Phidias." Anders interrupted him. Caddy and Phidias both looked a little taken aback. Anders was focused on his father, waiting patiently for instruction. Henrik cleared his throat.
"There is to be no one in this home unauthorized. Is that clear, Anders?"
Anders nodded, and Henrik went on. "I'm sorry, but your friends are simply not allowed, not with Caddy living here. It would be unsafe, under any circumstances. Am I understood?"
Anders gave another curt nod.
"Good. Secondly, Anders, you will address Phidias as your stepmother. You will not call him 'Phidias' as if he were a stranger."
"It's fine, really, if - "
Henrik silenced Phidias with a glare.
"Further, Cadmus, you will address me as your stepfather. Not 'Henrik.'"
Caddy looked uneasy with this conversation. He glanced to his father for instruction, but Phidias was busy trying to comprehend Henrik. Caddy nodded.
"Further, Cadmus, you are not to enter this basement without my express permission. Mine, not your dad's. Is that clear?"
Caddy nodded.
"You have been given a bedroom for sleeping. I expect you to use it for such. I do not expect to awake in the morning to find you sprawled on a sofa, a floor, or any other article of furniture not provided for this purpose." Henrik paused.
"Doors to all entrances of this home will be locked at all times, going and coming. Cadmus, you are not to exit this house, under any circumstances barring fire, without my or your dad's express permission. Is that clear?"
At least this one made some kind of sense. Caddy nodded. Henrik sat back on the sofa, snaking one arm around Phidias to pull him back into an embrace.
"These are safety measures. We live in trying times. Cadmus is a vulnerable member of our house. Anders, I expect you and I to protect him. Cadmus, I expect you to comply with our efforts to do so." Caddy glanced uneasily at Anders, but the young man was staring straight ahead, his attention on his dad. Henrik clapped his hands together. "Very good. You both are free to go."
Anders got up and headed back towards the hall. Caddy glanced, just once, after him, but when he turned his head back around, Henrik was looking at him. His face held no judgment; he was simply looking. After they heard the click of Anders' door, Henrik said, calmly.
"Soon, Cadmus, we should talk about school."