Gender Dysphoria: How it Feels to Live a Lie
folder
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
24
Views:
4,626
Reviews:
70
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
24
Views:
4,626
Reviews:
70
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Chapter 15
I guess you're saying, "It took long enough." Sorry is about all I can say....well that and laziness.
Just a 6-page flashback on the beginning of Savannah and Gwen's friendship. I might do another flashback chapter making it two chapters long, but unless I get inspired with something I doubt I will. I miss writing about Marcus too much.
Chapter 15
Flashback
Savannah walked out the store after paying her $10 for gas and walked back to her car. It was a late night that night and she had spent her Friday pulling slots at the quarter slot machines in Vegas which eventually turned to her blowing on dice for hot shot men in suits and some ‘wannabes’ buying her a few free drinks at the Belasio casino. She was hanging out with some friends at the Shoes ‘N More store she worked at, but they were more like acquaintances. They invited her to go out with them that night and she kindly agreed—they were just something to do on an otherwise uneventful day.
The 22 year old was dressed to impress that night with a short, black halter dress and 4 inch black strap heels. The black fabric on her tan skin made her golden blonde hair stick out even more, bringing stars to men’s wandering eyes. It was a fun night, she grabbed a lot of phone numbers, but no one interested her so she was going home alone…..or so she thought.
Savannah swayed her hips as she walked back to her silver Honda Accord. As she opened her door, she considered maybe getting her hair cut into a bob when she heard faint sobbing in the distance. Who is that? She turned around to look back towards the store but didn’t see anyone. But she kept hearing the sound so SOMEBODY must be there. She focused her eyes in the direction of the dark corner of the small cinderblock building and saw the silhouette of someone curled up against the wall, directly below the store’s dimming property light.
“Hello?” She called out curiously. And when she did, she noticed the body stiffened and the sobbing had stopped. “Hey, you okay over there?” The balled up person ducked their head down.
Savannah should’ve went inside the store and told the asian manager that some bum was on his property loitering. She should’ve told him to call the police. She should’ve done either of those things and left it for them to handle. That’s what her brain was telling her to do. But she didn’t. Her heart compelled her to handle it herself. So she did.
Her heels clicked across the paved ground as she walked towards the side of the building. Once closer, she couldn’t tell if the person was male or female. They wore really baggy sweatpants and sweatshirt, hiding any clues that could give her a hint. The hair was brunette, curly, long, and pulled back into a messy ponytail, but with the face buried in their arms, it could still be anybody since guys wear their hair long too. “Hey.” She said softly. The body jerked again and tightened it’s grip around themself. Savannah bent down and placed her hand on their shoulder. “Are you alright?”
A head popped up, revealing a heart shaped face, almond brown eyes—though at the moment, they were red—smooth, tan skin, and a swan-like neck. The child looked no more than 17 or 18 in Savannah’s eyes and very androgynous. Savannah had no clue if she was looking at a girl or a boy. “No.” The teen replied softly, running a loose piece of hair behind their ear. A very feminine move. It’s a girl then.
“Sweetie, where did you come from?”
The teen sniffled. “Florida. I took a bus here.”
“Did you come here alone?” The brunette nodded. “Did you runaway?” Another nod. “What’s your name?”
“George Pillman Jr.”
Savannah blinked. “G-George? Your name is George?” He nodded. A bell went off in the blonde’s head. I see what’s going on now. She moved her hand to his arm. “George………are you transitioning?” Only someone who’s a transsexual would know what I’m talking about.
George nodded. “Yes.”
“And you’re crying cause you’ve got nowhere to go.” She stated. The boy nodded. "No friends? No family?"
"No. Not here anyway."
“Well you do now. You can stay with me.” What did I just say? I don't know this kid! But he looks so misplaced out here alone. And when I was his age, I would've wanted someone to help me out when I ran away.
George shook his head. “Oh no, I-I couldn’t ask you to do that…”
“And you didn’t. I volunteered. I’m not taking no for answer so you mind as well grab that gym bag of yours and come with me.”
George smiled shyly. “What’s your name?”
“Savannah Maverick.”
“Thank you, Savannah Maverick.”
“You’re welcome. Now come on, I’ve been in heels all day and my feet are killing me.” Savannah helped the thin boy up and he grabbed his bag and followed the blonde to her car.
“Could I ask you something?” George asked softly once they got on the road.
“Sure.”
“Why are you doing this for me?”
“…….Cause I see myself in you. And I’m all for helping fellow t-girls.”
George looked stunned. “You’re transgender too?”
Savannah nodded. “Yep. And I’m loving it.” She smiled.
***
It was close to 1 o’clock when Savannah and George reached her apartment and when she did, she immediately kicked off her shoes. “Ahhhhh….sooooo much better.” She walked to her couch and patted it. “This pulls out into a bed. You can sleep here.” As the teen dropped his bag near the couch, Savannah walked to the small kitchen. “You hungry? I’ve got leftover pizza in here.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem. Why don’t you eat first while I shower and you can get yours when I’m done.” When George nodded, Savannah placed two slices of pepperoni pizza into the oven before she grabbed up her heels in one hand and walked to her bedroom. Taking off her clothes in the bathroom, she started the shower. What am I doing? I don’t know this kid. He could be making off with my possessions right now and I not know it. What in the hell drove me to do this? When her shower was over, the blonde toweled off, slipped into a blue short-sleeve nightdress, grabbed a fresh towel and bathrag, and walked back into the kitchen/tv area. She found George sitting at the small kitchen table, his head down, fast asleep. Next to him were two eaten slices of pizza. Savannah smirked. Well, one of those pizzas was supposed to have been mine. Oh well. Poor thing probably hasn’t eaten in hours.
Savannah touched his shoulder to wake him. “George, George, go get cleaned up so you can go to sleep.” The boy nodded, took the items Savannah gave him, and walked to the bathroom with his gym bag. While he was gone, Savannah cleaned up the table quickly then pulled out the mattress from inside the couch. Grabbing sheets from her linen stash and a pillow from her bed—she slept with four—she dressed the bed for when George came back. And when he did, his was dressed in more baggy sweatpants and a large black t-shirt. His hair was down and Savannah was able to see just how long and beautiful it really was. The brown hair reached his shoulders and though it was slightly wet, she could tell it had a curly texture. “Feel any better?” George didn’t answer, he just nodded. He’s a quiet one. “Well, I’ll leave you alone then. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” He murmured back.
***
“Okay, I’m gonna help you out since you have no one here. Going through a transition is tough on it’s own, so adding on the trouble of having to go through it totally alone makes it even harder.” The next morning, Savannah and George were in her bedroom sitting on her bed, the teen’s gym bag was between them. “Alright, so let’s get this ball rolling a little faster for you, shall we? First thing is: What’s your name?”
George frowned. “I told you my name.”
“No, no, no. You might be able to pass off with a name like George right now since you look a bit androgynous, but in a few months when big changes will start to take place to your body……you’re gonna freak people out with a name like George. So what name have you chosen?”
“I…..I don’t know. I never really took time to think about it.”
“Well you should.”
He scratched his head. “…..What do you think about Sara?”
Savannah gave a ‘thumbs down’. “You don’t look like a Sara. Nadine?”
George frowned and shook his head. “No, thanks.” The blonde laughed. “Crystal?”
Savannah gave a “ack!” noise. “I have a cousin named Crystal and we can’t stand each other. I don’t want to call you Crystal and think about her each time. How about something that starts with a ‘G’? That way it won’t be hard for you to get used to it since your birth name begins with a ‘G’.”
George nodded. “Okay. Gina?”
“Na.”
“Gisele?”
“Rhymes too much with gazelle. And it reminds me of that model who needs a few cheeseburgers.”
“Georgette? No, nevermind that. How about Gwen or Gwendolyn?”
Savannah smiled. “I like that. I like that a lot.”
“So do I.”
“So it’s settled then. You’re Gwen Pillman, girly.” Gwen smiled. “Okay. Next is wardrobe. What kind of lady wardrobe do you have?”
“Ummmmm…..none.”
“What?” Savannah unzipped the gymbag and started pulling out clothes. Sweats, overly big jeans and t-shirts, large jackets, tennis shoes…..nothing. Is there anything form-fitting in here? “Hon, what on earth is all this? This can’t be your stuff.”
Gwen shrugged. “My father didn’t know I was transitioning, so I had to get clothes that wouldn’t show any changes in my body.”
“Oh. Well lets see what kind of shape you’re in now then.”
Gwen blinked. “What?”
“I need to see your physique so I can know what I’m working with. I’m good at picking out clothes for other people but I’m not that good.”
Savannah noticed the shock that came across Gwen’s face and how she suddenly wrapped her arms around herself. “Right now?”
“Yes, right now. Gwen, you’ve paid a heavy price in meds and with society to get this body so you shouldn’t be afraid to show it off once you get it. Now stand up.” Savannah pulled Gwen to her feet. Standing her infront of a full-length mirror, she quickly jerked her sweatpants down her legs.
“Hey!”
Savannah sighed. “Geez, you’re even wearing boxers. You definitely need my help.” Forcing Gwen’s currently ducked down head upward to look at herself in the mirror, Savannah smiled. “SOMEBODY’S got hips.” She practically sang. “You can without a doubt pull off some fitted jeans by now. Especially with this nice tooshie you’ve got back here.”
Gwen blushed. “Just when I thought you couldn’t make this anymore embarrassing for me.” The blonde laughed.
“I’m assuming you’ve got your ‘girlies’ taped down?” When the teen didn’t answer her, she knew it was a yes. “Oh boy.” She said right before she lifted the back of Gwen’s shirt. She gasped at what she saw. Looking up at Gwen’s reflection in the mirror, she noticed the brunette’s head ducked back down. Gwen’s back was covered in dark bruises. “Who did this to you?”
“…..My father.” She nearly whispered back.
“Oh Gwen……just look at your fucking back. He beat the hell out of you. What happened?”
“He came home drunk again one night. He saw me in the den watching tv and started yelling at me cause of the way I was sitting on the couch. He said I was sitting like a faggot and I should act more like a man. I asked him ‘You mean like you’ and he got pissed. He slapped me across my face and started yelling a whole bunch of stuff at me before he grabbed me by my shirt and dragged me to him and mama’s bedroom. Then he took off his belt and beat me with the buckle end.”
“Did anyone try to help you?”
“My sister was staying at a friend’s house and my brother was asleep in his room. He’s deaf/mute so he didn’t know it was happening.” She paused when tears started to come to her eyes. “My-My mama finally came home and saved me. That’s when I decided to runaway.”
Savannah shook her head in disgust. “That bastard. I’m sorry that happened to you.” She dropped her grip on the shirt.
Gwen smiled lightly as she wiped her misty eyes. “It’s okay. It’s not gonna happen again.”
The blonde smiled, showing her dimples, as she wrapped her arms around the brunette, setting her chin atop her shoulder. “That’s right, cause you’ve got me now and I’ll be damned if I let that happen to you again.”
Gwen placed a gentle hand on Savannah’s arm. “Thanks…….now um, can I pull my pants up now?”
Laughing, Savannah pulled away. “Yeah. After breakfast, we’re going shopping for you a wardrobe that’s proper for a young woman.”
More to come....no, seriously.
Just a 6-page flashback on the beginning of Savannah and Gwen's friendship. I might do another flashback chapter making it two chapters long, but unless I get inspired with something I doubt I will. I miss writing about Marcus too much.
Chapter 15
Flashback
Savannah walked out the store after paying her $10 for gas and walked back to her car. It was a late night that night and she had spent her Friday pulling slots at the quarter slot machines in Vegas which eventually turned to her blowing on dice for hot shot men in suits and some ‘wannabes’ buying her a few free drinks at the Belasio casino. She was hanging out with some friends at the Shoes ‘N More store she worked at, but they were more like acquaintances. They invited her to go out with them that night and she kindly agreed—they were just something to do on an otherwise uneventful day.
The 22 year old was dressed to impress that night with a short, black halter dress and 4 inch black strap heels. The black fabric on her tan skin made her golden blonde hair stick out even more, bringing stars to men’s wandering eyes. It was a fun night, she grabbed a lot of phone numbers, but no one interested her so she was going home alone…..or so she thought.
Savannah swayed her hips as she walked back to her silver Honda Accord. As she opened her door, she considered maybe getting her hair cut into a bob when she heard faint sobbing in the distance. Who is that? She turned around to look back towards the store but didn’t see anyone. But she kept hearing the sound so SOMEBODY must be there. She focused her eyes in the direction of the dark corner of the small cinderblock building and saw the silhouette of someone curled up against the wall, directly below the store’s dimming property light.
“Hello?” She called out curiously. And when she did, she noticed the body stiffened and the sobbing had stopped. “Hey, you okay over there?” The balled up person ducked their head down.
Savannah should’ve went inside the store and told the asian manager that some bum was on his property loitering. She should’ve told him to call the police. She should’ve done either of those things and left it for them to handle. That’s what her brain was telling her to do. But she didn’t. Her heart compelled her to handle it herself. So she did.
Her heels clicked across the paved ground as she walked towards the side of the building. Once closer, she couldn’t tell if the person was male or female. They wore really baggy sweatpants and sweatshirt, hiding any clues that could give her a hint. The hair was brunette, curly, long, and pulled back into a messy ponytail, but with the face buried in their arms, it could still be anybody since guys wear their hair long too. “Hey.” She said softly. The body jerked again and tightened it’s grip around themself. Savannah bent down and placed her hand on their shoulder. “Are you alright?”
A head popped up, revealing a heart shaped face, almond brown eyes—though at the moment, they were red—smooth, tan skin, and a swan-like neck. The child looked no more than 17 or 18 in Savannah’s eyes and very androgynous. Savannah had no clue if she was looking at a girl or a boy. “No.” The teen replied softly, running a loose piece of hair behind their ear. A very feminine move. It’s a girl then.
“Sweetie, where did you come from?”
The teen sniffled. “Florida. I took a bus here.”
“Did you come here alone?” The brunette nodded. “Did you runaway?” Another nod. “What’s your name?”
“George Pillman Jr.”
Savannah blinked. “G-George? Your name is George?” He nodded. A bell went off in the blonde’s head. I see what’s going on now. She moved her hand to his arm. “George………are you transitioning?” Only someone who’s a transsexual would know what I’m talking about.
George nodded. “Yes.”
“And you’re crying cause you’ve got nowhere to go.” She stated. The boy nodded. "No friends? No family?"
"No. Not here anyway."
“Well you do now. You can stay with me.” What did I just say? I don't know this kid! But he looks so misplaced out here alone. And when I was his age, I would've wanted someone to help me out when I ran away.
George shook his head. “Oh no, I-I couldn’t ask you to do that…”
“And you didn’t. I volunteered. I’m not taking no for answer so you mind as well grab that gym bag of yours and come with me.”
George smiled shyly. “What’s your name?”
“Savannah Maverick.”
“Thank you, Savannah Maverick.”
“You’re welcome. Now come on, I’ve been in heels all day and my feet are killing me.” Savannah helped the thin boy up and he grabbed his bag and followed the blonde to her car.
“Could I ask you something?” George asked softly once they got on the road.
“Sure.”
“Why are you doing this for me?”
“…….Cause I see myself in you. And I’m all for helping fellow t-girls.”
George looked stunned. “You’re transgender too?”
Savannah nodded. “Yep. And I’m loving it.” She smiled.
***
It was close to 1 o’clock when Savannah and George reached her apartment and when she did, she immediately kicked off her shoes. “Ahhhhh….sooooo much better.” She walked to her couch and patted it. “This pulls out into a bed. You can sleep here.” As the teen dropped his bag near the couch, Savannah walked to the small kitchen. “You hungry? I’ve got leftover pizza in here.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem. Why don’t you eat first while I shower and you can get yours when I’m done.” When George nodded, Savannah placed two slices of pepperoni pizza into the oven before she grabbed up her heels in one hand and walked to her bedroom. Taking off her clothes in the bathroom, she started the shower. What am I doing? I don’t know this kid. He could be making off with my possessions right now and I not know it. What in the hell drove me to do this? When her shower was over, the blonde toweled off, slipped into a blue short-sleeve nightdress, grabbed a fresh towel and bathrag, and walked back into the kitchen/tv area. She found George sitting at the small kitchen table, his head down, fast asleep. Next to him were two eaten slices of pizza. Savannah smirked. Well, one of those pizzas was supposed to have been mine. Oh well. Poor thing probably hasn’t eaten in hours.
Savannah touched his shoulder to wake him. “George, George, go get cleaned up so you can go to sleep.” The boy nodded, took the items Savannah gave him, and walked to the bathroom with his gym bag. While he was gone, Savannah cleaned up the table quickly then pulled out the mattress from inside the couch. Grabbing sheets from her linen stash and a pillow from her bed—she slept with four—she dressed the bed for when George came back. And when he did, his was dressed in more baggy sweatpants and a large black t-shirt. His hair was down and Savannah was able to see just how long and beautiful it really was. The brown hair reached his shoulders and though it was slightly wet, she could tell it had a curly texture. “Feel any better?” George didn’t answer, he just nodded. He’s a quiet one. “Well, I’ll leave you alone then. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” He murmured back.
***
“Okay, I’m gonna help you out since you have no one here. Going through a transition is tough on it’s own, so adding on the trouble of having to go through it totally alone makes it even harder.” The next morning, Savannah and George were in her bedroom sitting on her bed, the teen’s gym bag was between them. “Alright, so let’s get this ball rolling a little faster for you, shall we? First thing is: What’s your name?”
George frowned. “I told you my name.”
“No, no, no. You might be able to pass off with a name like George right now since you look a bit androgynous, but in a few months when big changes will start to take place to your body……you’re gonna freak people out with a name like George. So what name have you chosen?”
“I…..I don’t know. I never really took time to think about it.”
“Well you should.”
He scratched his head. “…..What do you think about Sara?”
Savannah gave a ‘thumbs down’. “You don’t look like a Sara. Nadine?”
George frowned and shook his head. “No, thanks.” The blonde laughed. “Crystal?”
Savannah gave a “ack!” noise. “I have a cousin named Crystal and we can’t stand each other. I don’t want to call you Crystal and think about her each time. How about something that starts with a ‘G’? That way it won’t be hard for you to get used to it since your birth name begins with a ‘G’.”
George nodded. “Okay. Gina?”
“Na.”
“Gisele?”
“Rhymes too much with gazelle. And it reminds me of that model who needs a few cheeseburgers.”
“Georgette? No, nevermind that. How about Gwen or Gwendolyn?”
Savannah smiled. “I like that. I like that a lot.”
“So do I.”
“So it’s settled then. You’re Gwen Pillman, girly.” Gwen smiled. “Okay. Next is wardrobe. What kind of lady wardrobe do you have?”
“Ummmmm…..none.”
“What?” Savannah unzipped the gymbag and started pulling out clothes. Sweats, overly big jeans and t-shirts, large jackets, tennis shoes…..nothing. Is there anything form-fitting in here? “Hon, what on earth is all this? This can’t be your stuff.”
Gwen shrugged. “My father didn’t know I was transitioning, so I had to get clothes that wouldn’t show any changes in my body.”
“Oh. Well lets see what kind of shape you’re in now then.”
Gwen blinked. “What?”
“I need to see your physique so I can know what I’m working with. I’m good at picking out clothes for other people but I’m not that good.”
Savannah noticed the shock that came across Gwen’s face and how she suddenly wrapped her arms around herself. “Right now?”
“Yes, right now. Gwen, you’ve paid a heavy price in meds and with society to get this body so you shouldn’t be afraid to show it off once you get it. Now stand up.” Savannah pulled Gwen to her feet. Standing her infront of a full-length mirror, she quickly jerked her sweatpants down her legs.
“Hey!”
Savannah sighed. “Geez, you’re even wearing boxers. You definitely need my help.” Forcing Gwen’s currently ducked down head upward to look at herself in the mirror, Savannah smiled. “SOMEBODY’S got hips.” She practically sang. “You can without a doubt pull off some fitted jeans by now. Especially with this nice tooshie you’ve got back here.”
Gwen blushed. “Just when I thought you couldn’t make this anymore embarrassing for me.” The blonde laughed.
“I’m assuming you’ve got your ‘girlies’ taped down?” When the teen didn’t answer her, she knew it was a yes. “Oh boy.” She said right before she lifted the back of Gwen’s shirt. She gasped at what she saw. Looking up at Gwen’s reflection in the mirror, she noticed the brunette’s head ducked back down. Gwen’s back was covered in dark bruises. “Who did this to you?”
“…..My father.” She nearly whispered back.
“Oh Gwen……just look at your fucking back. He beat the hell out of you. What happened?”
“He came home drunk again one night. He saw me in the den watching tv and started yelling at me cause of the way I was sitting on the couch. He said I was sitting like a faggot and I should act more like a man. I asked him ‘You mean like you’ and he got pissed. He slapped me across my face and started yelling a whole bunch of stuff at me before he grabbed me by my shirt and dragged me to him and mama’s bedroom. Then he took off his belt and beat me with the buckle end.”
“Did anyone try to help you?”
“My sister was staying at a friend’s house and my brother was asleep in his room. He’s deaf/mute so he didn’t know it was happening.” She paused when tears started to come to her eyes. “My-My mama finally came home and saved me. That’s when I decided to runaway.”
Savannah shook her head in disgust. “That bastard. I’m sorry that happened to you.” She dropped her grip on the shirt.
Gwen smiled lightly as she wiped her misty eyes. “It’s okay. It’s not gonna happen again.”
The blonde smiled, showing her dimples, as she wrapped her arms around the brunette, setting her chin atop her shoulder. “That’s right, cause you’ve got me now and I’ll be damned if I let that happen to you again.”
Gwen placed a gentle hand on Savannah’s arm. “Thanks…….now um, can I pull my pants up now?”
Laughing, Savannah pulled away. “Yeah. After breakfast, we’re going shopping for you a wardrobe that’s proper for a young woman.”
More to come....no, seriously.