One Step at a Time

FINALLY. You have no idea how glad I am that this chapter is finally done. While it probably ultimately suffered due to my hiatus, it still got the job done. Now that I'm kind of back into the flow of writting I should be updating regularly again (don't hold me to that, though). Again, sorry for the delay and thanks for understanding.

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There was tension between the two, but neither of them showed it. It seemed that she was just as good at hiding her emotions as Jake was. The two of them strolled down the busy downtown sidewalk in silence, not wanting to have to shout over the street noise, though it wasn’t entirely the city’s fault. Jake was still trying to wrap it around his mind why he actually agreed to meet her that day. She gave him her number, but when he never called she decided to hunt him down in the phone book instead of taking a fairly obvious hint. I just had to be listed; he continued to think to himself off and on.

Linda was just content that he was willing to take the time and see her. She wasn’t looking for anything either, contrary to what anyone who knew their history would believe. Even Jake. No, she just wanted to see how he has been and how he was doing. Finally, after a traffic light that seemed to last an eternity, they crossed the street to a quieter area and were able to hear their own thoughts again.

“So…” Linda started, the traditional awkward moment silence breaker. “Are you taking any classes or anything?”

Jake was looking around except to where the question came from. “No, nothing.”

“Planning to, then?” She was trying her best to get something out of him, but she was finding it to be about as easy as clawing her way through a brick wall.

“Not really.” He answered immediately, much to her surprise. “Sitting in a class all day with the constant pressure of more to do at a certain time isn’t exactly something I want to do again any time soon.”

Now we’re getting somewhere, Linda thought as she nodded her head in response. She remembered back to when they were in school. Jake always seemed like a smart enough guy, soaking lectures in like a sponge and figuring things out on his own or learning by doing first hand. Whenever his grades were shoddy it always seemed to be when he didn’t bother with homework or class work. ‘Crap that they give you so they don’t have to do as much,’ she remembered him saying once and she smiled to herself when it felt like it was only yesterday.

“Well, you never seemed to need it anyway.” Silence fell between them again as they walked a couple more blocks. “Liz seems nice.” She commented suddenly, purposely looking at the ground to avoid any look that might come her way.

Jake turned his head slightly before stopping himself and continuing to stare straight ahead. “Yeah.” He said simply. His tone told Linda that he was now thinking about her. Probably thinking about things they have done together or what she was doing at that moment. She wondered what exactly they HAVE done together. Wondering how serious the two of them were and if they were close like they had been in the past.

“So, you two are pretty close?”

“Yeah.” Came the same response as before, only with a different tone as if she was stating the obvious. Again she nodded her head and looked down to the ground. His simplistic answers were really causing the tension to intensify and even she was now beginning to think this meeting was a bad idea. “I should get going.” Jake suddenly said, much to her surprise, and she looked up at him to see him checking his watch.

Of course the first thing he says on his own would be saying he’s leaving, she thought bitterly. “But you just got here not long ago.”

Jake fiddled with the strap of his watch just to give his hands something to do. “I know, but I have work in about half an hour and I’m already probably going to be late.”

Linda’s eyes narrowed some as she made eye contact with him. “You’re the one that set the time, though.”

“I only said I would meet you. I didn’t say for how long.” He said sternly. He didn’t make any effort to avert his gaze from her and her expression softened some in defeat when she didn’t see anything in his eyes. Not a sparkle of any kind, nor anger or sadness. Just absolute disinterest. Disinterest in her, the one who was once the center of his world. Replaced by somebody who probably actually saw what she had now and wouldn’t be so stupid as to throw it away.

“Okay.” Linda started timidly. “But… can we see each other again? Just one more time and that’s it.” She quickly added at the appending roll of Jake’s eyes. “Just… one more time. Then I’ll go.”

Stupid idiot, Jake chided himself silently as he rubbed his brow with the palm of his hand and sighed. As if meeting her this one time wasn’t bad enough he was now going throw himself into yet another uncomfortable and possibly dangerous situation. “Fine. Fine.” He sighed again as he racked his brain for a moment. “I’m working late next Thursday. I won’t be too distracted, so you can come by then.” He chastised himself yet again. Stupid.

***

The bookstore was eerily quiet that night, but Liz wouldn’t have it any other way. Other people would groan, but she never minded having the graveyard shift of stocking the new shipment of books. It was a chance to just enjoy the environment of the place and not be interrupted by a costumer needing help or having to ring someone up. Mr. Edwards would always be leery about leaving her alone late at night, though. Preferring to have a guy there in case anything happened, but she reassured him every time that would be fine.

It was just when she was thinking that that there was a loud knock on the front window that nearly made her jump out of her skin. Her heart was racing now and she quickly shot her attention to the front of the store to see what had made the noise. Her worried expression soon turned to an aggravated frown when she saw Jake’s face cupped in his hands and peering in at her. Liz dropped the box she was carrying to one of the aisles and went over to let him in.

“I hope you know you’re responsible for shaving off the last few years of my life.” She informed as he stepped around her to come in.

He responded with a nonchalant shrug. “Those are the crappy years anyway.”

“What are you doing here? It’s nearly one.” She asked, checking her watch to see how late it was. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping or something?”

“Shouldn’t you?” Jake shot back with a smile. “I remembered that you had a late night tonight so I figured I’d keep you company.” He wandered into the store a bit more, leaving her behind him, and eyed his surroundings. The place was much different looking at night with no people and very few lights on. “Besides, it’s too quiet at home.”

“It’s not much different here.”

“Are you saying I’m not welcomed?” He asked with a grin.

Liz rolled her eyes and walked past him to continue what she was doing. “Of course you are, but I don’t know how fun it will be watching me work.”

Jake picked up a random Dummies book and flipped through the pages, stopping at the comics before each section. “I’m sure I’ll be just fine.” He put down the book and followed her to where she dropped the box of books. “So you’re having a long day.” He stated to fill the silence.

“And a slow one.” She added, slicing the top of the box open with a box cutter that was resting on a nearby shelf.

“Probably because everyone was at the video store.” Jake grumbled. He leaned against the shelf behind Liz and watched her as she carefully placed the books in their respective spots.

“Busy day, then?” She asked without breaking her rhythm or turning to face him.

Jake crossed his arms and scratched at his facial hair. “There are about six new releases that I never want to hear of again.” He frowned about the amount of times he answered the same question over and over again and ran back and forth between the counter and shelves looking for something for someone. “Your job’s looking pretty nice about now.”

Liz finished up the box she was working on and lifted herself back up her feet. “Well, when the next Potter book comes out, then we can talk.” She joked, grabbing the empty box and moving down the aisle. Jake pushed himself off from where he was leaning and followed Liz through the labyrinth of shelves, watching her weave around corners and tables with such grace that she could probably have done it blind.

They came to an open door in the back that led to a storage room filled with dozens of more boxes. “Holy crap.” Jake let out, gaping. “You don’t have to do all of these tonight, do you?”

His comment was greeted by a soft, tired laugh. “No. Most of these are all books that won’t be released for a few days.” She explained with a smile still hanging on her lips. “I only have a couple more.” She stepped over to another box in the corner that looked much to heavy for her to drag out into the store and Jake was about to offer a hand until she sliced it open there instead and began stacking the books on the near table.

Jake stayed behind in the doorway and leaned against the frame with his arms crossed again and continued to watch her sort the books into neat stacks. He seemed to be noticing everything about her tonight. From her short steps when she moved only an inch or so side-by-side, to the way she would brush the same strands of hair back behind her ear after organizing every few books, and tilting her head during every other little movement.

He came off the wall and motioned over behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and causing her to jerk by surprise before leaning into his embrace. Jake could feel her smiling as he rested his head on her shoulder and watched her go about her work. Though he was a little defeated that he hardly knew of any of the books she was going through. Several of them appeared to be mystery stories and some were obviously romance novels, given the covers consisting of an unnaturally hulky man holding an overly voluptuous woman. The Davinci Code and the novelization of the latest Star Wars were the only two books he recognized from the piles, but neither of them he had actually read.

Nothing of that mattered right now, though. When he was around Liz nothing else seemed to matter anymore, which frankly scared him a little. He would catch himself having images of the two of them in the future like the one he was having now. Both of them were in this exact state only at his house in the kitchen. Liz was at the sink washing the dishes of the less than perfect meal that he put together, though as usual she would reassure him that it was perfectly fine. He watched every little movement of her fingers as she ran them over the edges of the plates and cups before rushing them over to the drainer and beginning on the utensils. The whole time Jake giving undying attention to her neck much like he was doing now in the bookstore.

Jake just couldn’t deny it any more. His feelings were growing stronger every day that they saw each other and it was really bothering him when he thought about it long enough. He wondered if she was feeling the same at all, but he wouldn’t do anything so stupid as to ask. The last thing he needed to do was to scare her off or offer a commitment he wouldn’t be able to keep in the long run. Actually, the last thing he needed was to be thinking about any of this right now. Now he was with her and that was enough, even if later was empty.

“You’re making it hard to concentrate.” Liz suddenly said quietly, breaking Jake’s thoughts and bringing him back to where he was.

“Sorry.” He only whispered into her ear before tightening his grip around her waist. “Why don’t you take a break?”

Liz sighed in frustration. “I have to get these done. I don’t want to be here all night.” Jake took the book that was currently in her hand and put it aside and turning her around to face him, cupping her face in his palms. He leaned down and kissed her chastely on the lips. Well now he did it, she thought. Every second after this was going to be an uphill battle that she could never hope to win. “You aren’t suggesting what I think you are…” She started when he lowered his mouth to the crook of her neck.

“Is that a problem?”

She was looking for the words to answer, but every time they were at the tip of her tongue he would nip at her neck and her mind would fog over again. Instead several sighs escaped her before finally speaking again. “We can’t… here. We can’t do that.”

He smiled wryly into her hair. “Why not? There aren’t any cameras or anything here, are there?”

“If I said yes, would you let me finish?”

“If you said yes, you’d be lying.”

By the time that was said his mouth was already over hers and she knew she had lost. He was pressed closer to her now and she could feel his reaction to her, and it was doing her fewer favors as it was for him. He pushed her back against the table until her back was arched over it slightly and their tongues collided between their mouths, a content moan escaping her mouth and echoing into his.

That was all Jake needed to take what he wanted. He broke their kiss and despite a pout on her lips he lowered down onto his knees. She bit her lip as she watched him slowly run his hands up her legs to push her skirt up to her waist. After handing the bunched up clothing to Liz he slipped his fingertips into the band of her panties, then pulled them down just as slowly as he was going up.

Jake noted that she was already wet with desire and it only made him have to restrain himself more than he already was. If he let his body have its way they would probably already be on their second round tumbling around on the floor. Despite their odd surroundings for this activity he wanted to make it as intimate as possible.

She lifted her feet just enough to kick away her under garment and he rose back to his feet, his hot breath brushing over her center on the way up and causing her to shudder with anticipation. He carefully took her around the waist and lifted her up onto the table and made sure she was comfortable before continuing. He stepped between her legs and greeted her with another deep kiss while her hands fumbled at Jake’s belt to undo it.

He grabbed her hands before she could and brought them up to his shoulders as he finished the job himself, sliding his jeans off and kicking them aside and exposing his erection that was pushing out of his boxers. He moved closer to Liz and her breath caught in her throat as she wrapped her arms around his neck and awaited him. Jake planted his hands on her thighs and parted them more, looking into her lazy eyes and watched them widen when he entered her.

Instead of pulling out and repeating the motion he remained in her. His mouth found her neck again as she relished in feeling him filling her completely and his hands roamed up to her chest and began unbuttoning her shirt. With that task done he brushed his hands over her soft skin and up her back, undoing her bra and allowing her firm breasts to fall free. Immediately his hand moved up to meet one of them, flicking and pinching at her nipple until it grew hard and he moved onto the other.

Liz leaned back and gave access to her breasts for his mouth and he obliged, running his tongue around one of her nipples and sucking on it gently while tending to the other with his thumb. Every one of his touches sent shivers down her spine and his slight movements causing him to grind against her was starting to drive her crazy. When he finished she lifted herself back up to him and rested her head on his shoulder and whispered into his ear. “Please…”

Jake pulled out for the first time and thrust back into her, drawing a broken gasp from her and continuing his slow motions. They quickly became lost in the moment, allowing pleasure to take control of them. Jake’s hands were running over her sides and back, pulling her closer to him and she had a tight grip on his shoulder while her other hand burrowed through his disheveled hair. Both were trying their hardest to hold off their climax, but they were so far gone that it was near impossible to prolong the moment any longer. With a couple more thrusts Jake came to his end and only a few more after that she reached hers. They rested their foreheads together as they recovered from their experience. The only sound being their remaining pants and their slowing heart beats in their heads.

Finally Liz looked into Jake’s eyes and smiled sheepishly. “I can’t believe we just did that here.” Jake chuckled at her lingering conservativeness about the matter. “I mean, everybody works here.”

“Just hope no one’s killed in here.” He said as he placed a kiss on her forehead. “The DNA could prove to be embarrassing.” She blushed and laughed at his comment and let out a contented sigh as she rested her head on his shoulder once again. Now finishing work was the last thing she wanted to do. All she wanted at that moment was go home and curl up with Jake in bed and will that moment to last forever.

She wondered if he ever had similar wishes for them. She would never confess it, but she knew she was falling for him, if she hadn’t already. The thought of him not feeling the same and all of this time only being temporary tore her apart. For now, though, as long this moment lasted, she could be content.

***

The sound of cardboard being ripped sounded through the empty store and it was haphazardly tossed in a corner for later. There were three bins packed several inches past the rim with returned movies that he had to go through and he was finally almost done with the last one. Well, looks like she decided against coming around. Jake thought as he checked the clock. It was almost eleven and after the next few batches of videos he would be heading home.

It was just as well. He had no interest in seeing Linda and he couldn’t figure out why she wanted to see him again so badly. She wasn’t stupid, he knew, so she would have gotten the hint that he moved on and wasn’t interested in her anymore. In a way he had to be grateful, otherwise they may still be together and he never would have met Liz.

The grin that always appeared when he thought of Liz formed. Now he had more of a reason to rush and get out of there, so he could go home, go to sleep, and see her again tomorrow. They didn’t have any other plans the next day other than to meet. Whatever they did after that would be on the fly, whether it was just staying in and watching TV or driving out of the city for a few hours to get away from it all. He may be bias when he thought about it, but he was sure that he enjoyed spending time like this with Liz more than he ever did with Linda.

Speak of the devil; he thought to himself when he saw something flash by at the corner of his eye. That something turned out to be Linda walking by the windows and peering in as she made her way over to the door. Jake let out a disgruntled sigh and dropped what he was doing to let her in. “Hi.” She greeted quietly as she stepped past him. He grunted a response and brushed by her to continue his business. It felt to Linda like it had been forever since she was last here to see Jake. Everything was so different looking from the last time she remembered seeing it. It no longer had the look of a hole in the wall place that probably nobody expected to make it. Now it was brighter and more inviting with better-organized shelves and DVDs littered the place now instead of tapes.

“Wow.” She started, hoping to break the ice. “The place sure has changed.”

“Like everything else, it seems.” He added.

Linda nodded and came over to the back counter where had had movies stacked by genre ready to be re-stocked. “I remember coming here on Fridays after school. A group of us would rent a couple movies, then order a pizza to take back to one of our houses to waste the rest of the day away.”

“Pineapple and Canadian bacon.”

“What?”

Jake paused and looked up at her. “Pineapple and Canadian bacon. That’s what you would always get.”

She smiled fondly and stepped forward a bit. “You remember.”

“Not really an easy thing to forget.” He said, taking a pile of horror films moving them to their respective section. Linda followed behind him as he quickly dropped the movies back behind their display boxes and she would adjust the ones that he left a bit sloppy. “I see you’re still OCD.” He commented when he caught her redoing his own work.

“I am not OCD.” She protested in a voice higher than she wanted it to be.

“Sure you aren’t.” He started. “You just reorganize magazine racks and video shelves as a hobby.”

She frowned and narrowed her eyes at him. “I am not OCD.” She repeated more sternly. “Just… a little anal retentive.”

“Same difference.” He said, drawing a small laugh and a shake of her head.

Linda continued to uphold most of the conversation while Jake finished up and listened. Mostly talking about the past, like when the two of them skipped school one day to hang out at the lake or when they pulled all-nighters during the summer assembling thousand-piece puzzles. Purposely avoiding obviously sensitive subjects. The whole time having a far off look in her eyes. Finally the last bin was empty and he tossed it into a storage room and locked it shut, jiggling the doorknob to be sure. He headed back to the pile of cardboard and took the unruly bunch in his arms, ushering it over a door that lead to the back alley. With one hand he unlocked the heavy looking metal door and pushed it open with his foot, causing the old green paint to chip off. Jake chucked the broken down boxes into the night and grabbed a wooden block that the employs used to keep the door from closing behind them.

The nights were still rather brisk, but he could feel them beginning to warm up for spring, and it was about time too. He had his fill of winter and was eagerly awaiting the warm weather of spring and summer again. “Last chance.” Jake said suddenly as he hoisted the dumpster lid open, his voice echoing momentarily.

“What?”

Jake eyed her after tossing a couple pieces of cardboard away and began breaking another down a little more. “There’s something you wanted, and I severely doubt it was to reminisce about old times.”

Linda was silent for a moment and began twirling a few loose strands of hair around her finger. Something that use to drive Jake crazy for whatever reason. “I guess I should just come out with it, huh.” She let out with a sigh. She paced a bit and looked up at the sky as if the stars would give her the right words. “Things haven’t been that great the last couple of years.”

“Yeah, I know all about bad years.” Jake grumbled in response, more to himself than anything.

She looked over to him, without commenting. “Of course nothing as bad as what you went through. With your parents I mean. I’m sorry about that. I regret not being there for you when your dad passed too.”

Jake’s expression softened some and his voice was mellow. “Yeah, well. It’s in the past.”

She nodded again and continued on. “When I ran into you in the bookstore… I don’t know. I guess I thought that maybe it was a sign or something. Even a second chance, maybe. Then at the same time I found out about Liz.”

“There wouldn’t have been a second chance.” He replied as a matter of fact. “There just wouldn’t be able to be.”

“Well, none of that matters anyway.” She paused and took a deep breath, refusing to meet his eyes now. “I’m moving away. To New York to stay with my cousins. I decided to before I ran into you.” She announced and she could swear she saw surprise on Jake’s face. “I just need a change I guess.”

“Okay, but I don’t get what any of that has to do with wanting to see me.”

Linda sniffled both from the cool air and her emotions and stepped closer to Jake. “I just didn’t want to leave with things bad between us. Now that I see that you’ve moved on already, it’s not so bad, but I still want to say I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked at that and she stopped for a moment to regain her composure. “I can’t make you forgive me, but I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry for everything.”

Jake let out a deep sigh after taking in her story. His eyes softened to those of compassion, though Linda wouldn’t see it avoiding eye contact like she was. “Don’t worry about it.” He said simply. To anyone else this would be a generic response, but for anyone who knew Jake they would recognize it as his way of saying there weren’t any ill feelings.

She finally looked up at him and let a weak smile form on her lips. “You always were a nice guy.” She confided. “Liz is lucky to have you.” Before Jake knew anything else Linda moved forward and pulled him into a hug. At first he held his arms up unaware of what to do, but he hesitantly lowered them around her shoulders in a comforting embrace. It was a good-bye after all, he though. It’s fine. What he was expecting even less was Linda reaching up and kissing him lightly on the lips.

It wasn’t passionate or lustful, hardly even intimate. That isn’t what someone else would believe, though. The kiss only lasted a matter of seconds, but the dread that fell over Jake when the two of them heard the old metal door creak behind them lasted infinitely longer. Looking over to see Liz gaping unbelieving at the two of them in their state and quickly turning back into the store.

Jake left Linda and she could only stand there staring in despair of what just happened while he unsuccessfully tried to catch the door before it closed shut. Either Liz pushing the door open or her shuffle to leave knocked the door block out of the way and he was now forced to rush around the building, but by that time she was already gone. He desperately searched the parking lot and streets for any clue of where or how she left, but there was nothing. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks on his chest. Did he just lose her? Did he just lose the only thing he had? The only thing he cared to have?