You Don't Know Me

Michelle hurried in to the emergency room through the sliding glass doors. Everything seemed very bright, very quiet and very still. It was an eerie feeling, and the smell of disinfectants was not helping to make the place more welcoming. It also did not help that the last time Michelle was in a hospital, it was to come see her best friend, not knowing how bad off he was, not even sure if he was going to make it.

Across the room, Michelle saw Seamus sitting on a couch, his head in his hands, rocking slightly back and forth. She moved towards him as quickly as she could, dropping to her knees before him. Looking up, Seamus’s tear-filled eyes met Michelle’s, and he immediately leaned forward to throw his arms around her. He was still rocking slightly as he clung to Michelle, tears streaming down his face. “I should have been watching her… This is my fault…” He kept repeating the words.

Pulling back, Michelle put her hand on Seamus’s cheek and shook her head. “This is not your fault,” she said kindly but firmly. “You were working. You two barely know each other. And besides all that, whoever did this to her is who is to blame, not you.”

Nodding, Seamus swallowed and seemed to be pulling himself together. It was very strange for Michelle to see this big, strong, confident man lost in grief and guilt. His breathing finally began to even out, and at this point Michelle rose to sit beside him on the couch.

At that moment, Marcus arrived in the emergency room and rushed over to Seamus and Michelle. “What happened?” He asked without greeting anyone. It was clear by his pale coloring and wide eyes that he was very worried. He took Michelle’s outstretched hand in his own and turned back to Seamus. “Do you know? I mean, what happened to her?”

Taking a deep breath, Seamus looked between Marcus and Michelle. “Janette came to my work earlier tonight, around eight,” he began. “She seemed a little uncomfortable, but I really don’t know her well, so I didn’t think much of it. The pub got crowded pretty quickly, but I kept coming by to talk to her every ten or fifteen minutes, to see how she was doing. Around nine, some bloke she knew came in and sat with her. She told me his name, but I can’t remember-”

“What did he look like?” Marcus interjected.

Thinking for a moment, Seamus sighed. “Like every other college boy in the place. Brown hair, average height and build, in one of those awful striped shirts they’re all wearing these days.”

Looking at each other, Marcus shook his head at Michelle. “That’s not Luke,” he said. “Luke’s an obvious blond.” Looking over at Seamus, Marcus motioned for him to continue his story.

“Anyway, I got her and this guy a couple drinks,” Seamus looked like he was getting upset again. “And… and I knew that she was starting to act strangely. I just thought, I don’t know, that she wasn’t good with holding her liquor. Then things got even busier for a while, and I lost sight of her. I assumed she had left.” His shoulders hunched at this point and he stared at the floor. “About an hour later, I went out back to throw out some rubbish, and I saw her behind the building. She was on the ground, her shirt was open, he skirt was around her waist, and, and…”

Reaching over, Michelle rubbed Seamus’s shoulder soothingly. “Sshh,” she tried to calm him from his crying. “Seamus, stop blaming yourself. I mean, thank God you came out there at all. So, have the doctors said anything?”

Shaking his head, Seamus looked over towards the nurses’ station. “The bird over there told me she would contact the police for me, so I can give a statement. But as for Janette… I just don’t know.”

“I’ll check,” Marcus told them, and Michelle turned appreciative eyes to him. Putting her arm around Seamus’s shoulder, Michelle tried to soothe him while she watched Marcus talk to the nurse. His calm demeanor seemed to please her, and he was back within moments with some news.

“Okay,” Marcus didn’t look happy to be delivering this information. In fact, his face looked like it could crumble at any moment. He took Michelle’s hand once again and looked between her and Seamus. “Well, it looks like Janette was, um, roofied. And then, um… raped in the parking lot. That’s all she can tell me for now.”

“God,” Seamus looked stricken. “Damn it, why didn’t I watch her closer? Why didn’t I pay more attention?”

“This is not your fault, Seamus,” Marcus echoed Michelle’s words from earlier. “And physically, it looks like Janette is going to be okay in the end.”

“Physically,” Seamus almost spit out the word. “She will be okay physically. What about her head? How do you think this is going to affect her?”

Marcus was taken aback by the amount of guilt Seamus seemed to have taken on himself. And of course Marcus knew this was not going to be over soon just because Janette was going to be physically all right. There was going to be a long hard road ahead of her emotionally and legally, Marcus guessed. “It’s going to be rough for Janette,” Marcus finally said. “Really rough, no one is denying that. But we can’t change what has happened. All we can do is make sure we do the right thing by Janette from this point forward.”

Nodding, Seamus seemed to be taking in Marcus’s words. “Sorry, mate,” he said after a moment. “I didn’t mean to bite your head off like that. I’m just… when I saw her there, on the ground… she looked so small and vulnerable…”

“It’s okay,” Marcus gave Seamus a small smile. “No hard feelings. And I think that all you’ve done so far has been above and beyond the call. Michelle’s right. Thank God you were there in the end. Who knows what more could have happened to her back there all alone if she’d been left all night…”

The three fell silent at that point. Marcus finally took a seat on the other side of Michelle, still holding her hand. The police would be there soon, and things were going to just get more complicated. And Janette would be waking up eventually; there was no way to gauge what sort of emotional shape she would be in. Glancing over at the worried faces of Michelle and Seamus, Marcus sighed. How had things gotten so fucked up?

-----

It was nearly seven in the morning when Michelle and Marcus returned to his apartment. Marcus had dropped Peter off at his aunt’s house on the way to the hospital, so the place was empty. Michelle sat at the kitchen table while Marcus started putting coffee into the coffee maker. They hadn’t spoken more than three sentences to each other since they had left the hospital. It was just too much information to process.

The cops had been grateful to Seamus for his actions and the information he could remember. He had also contacted the bar back who had been working with him the night before, and he had been able to get a little more information about exactly when Janette had left. Then, a couple hours later, Janette had finally woken up.

Her parents had moved across the country the year before, she told them, and Janette didn’t want anyone to contact them just yet. She was still groggy from the roofie, as well as the other medications making their way through her body via IV, but she was able to give the police one piece of information.

Alex, Luke’s friend, had met her at the bar to talk about Sean’s case. After about 45 minutes of talking, things began to fuzz out in Janette’s memory. This meant the police would contact Alex right away, but unless Janette could remember more, or there was physical evidence, or someone from the bar could give additional information, it would probably be impossible to charge Alex with rape, or even the dispensing of the roofie. This was a hard fact for everyone to take. This was what Michelle and Marcus thought about silently in his kitchen.

“I have to call the home,” Michelle finally broke the silence. “Let them know that I’m not coming in today. I don’t think they’ll mind; I’m sure Patty told them what’s going on. How about you? Are you supposed to work or anything?”

Shaking his head, Marcus finished putting water into the coffee maker and turned it on. “Just a couple classes, but I can ditch. Nothing major.”

After Michelle called the home, she and Marcus sat at the kitchen table, just looking at one another. “What’s going on?” Marcus finally asked, a crack obvious in his voice. “How is all of this happening? And all at once? I just don’t get it.”

Reaching over to take his hand, Michelle’s eyes were full of tears. “I know,” she replied softly. “But we’ll get through it. We will, won’t we?”

Looking into her fearful gray eyes, Marcus couldn’t lie. “I don’t know,” he admitted sadly. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with Luke, or Janette, or Peter and Maura. God damn it, this is just getting to be too much.”

Rising and settling herself onto Marcus’s lap, Michelle rested her head on his shoulder. “Life is a series of challenges,” she told him. “All we can do right now is try to help our friends get through their issues, and try not to let all these problems affect our relationship at the same time.”

Nodding, Marcus ran his hand soothingly over Michelle’s hair. “You’re right,” he said, though his voice betrayed that he was not convinced. A year ago, he really had believed that the hard times were over – that things were going to get better from there. Now, it seemed like that just wasn’t true, and he didn’t know what to do with that kind of knowledge…

-----

Michelle remembered to call the clinic that morning, setting an appointment for Maura later that afternoon. Then Marcus set the alarm clock for two, so they could both try to get some sleep before Peter and Maura arrived after school, sometime around three. As they climbed into his bed, Marcus immediately reached for Michelle, pulling her close to him. Things felt so out of control, but having Michelle near him made things seem safer.

To Marcus’s surprise, Michelle pulled at his clothing without saying a word. When he looked into her eyes questioningly, he could see she needed the closeness, she needed the reassurance of being connected to him just them. They silently removed their clothing and made love, slowly and gently. Michelle kept pulling at Marcus, seemingly trying to bring him even closer to her. As they both came together, Michelle let out a soft cry, and Marcus realized tears were then streaming down her face.

Michelle had hoped that being with Marcus would help diminish the emptiness she was feeling, but as her body responded positively to the physical stimulation, she felt even emptier than she had. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, but as she felt Marcus lean down understandingly, not saying anything but just kissing her wet cheeks, she pulled him closer to her again. They fell asleep like that, both of their bodies conceding to the stress and exhaustion they felt to their bones.

-----

A knock at the door woke Michelle from her struggling sleep. She glanced over at the clock and realized it was only one o’clock. “Who is it?” she called out, waking Marcus as she did.

“It’s Peter and Maura,” the boy’s voice ran out. “We, um, we couldn’t make it through a full day of school. We thought we should knock in case… you know.”

“Good thinking,” Marcus mumbled, looking over at Michelle’s nude form next to him. As he saw her give him a small smile for his comment, he reached over and stroked her face. Recently, her smiles had been few and far between, and he had almost forgotten how much he liked to see her face brighten and her eyes turn that bemused, trusting color of water. “We’ll be right there, guys,” Marcus called out.

Dressing as quickly as possible, Marcus opened the door and ushered the teens inside. They both looked awful. Peter had bags under his eyes, and Maura’s own eyes were red-rimmed. Her hair also had some growth at the roots, and it was easy to guess that she was scared to dye her hair since she was fairly sure she was pregnant. Still, Marcus couldn’t help but notice, they were holding hands tightly, their fingers intertwined. At least they’re being there for each other, Marcus thought.

“We weren’t sure if either of you would be here yet,” Peter looked between Michelle and Marcus, while Maura stared at the floor. “But we just couldn’t stay another two hours in school. I hope you’re not mad.”

Marcus was overwhelmed at the sadness and honestly in Peter’s voice. “I’m not mad,” he said shaking his head. “We’re not mad,” he changed his answer as he glanced over at Michelle. “We had some stuff going on too, so we both played hooky. I guess I can’t really yell at you for doing the same thing as us, right?”

Wishing the frightened, frail-looking young girl would look up, Michelle spoke directly to Maura. “I’ve made an appointment for four, Maura,” she said, forcing the girl to look into her face. “But since you’re here early, I can call now and see if they have any openings sooner. If you want me to, of course.”

Looking at Michelle for a moment, with her sympathetic eyes, Maura then turned her gaze to Marcus. His expression was one of compassion and pity. Finally, as she turned to Peter who looked at her with fear and solidarity, Maura burst into tears right there. Although Marcus and Michelle both wanted to rush to her, they stood back and let Peter take care of the situation. As he reached over and pulled her tiny frame into his arms, whispering encouragement and consoling words into her ear as his hand ran over her long hair, Marcus and Michelle both felt a bit of relief. No matter how bad the situation, at least Peter and Maura had each other.

“I’m going to call,” Michelle told Marcus in a whisper. She saw him nod and headed towards the hallway to make the phone call, passing the petrified kids as she did. Neither of them was paying attention to Michelle or Marcus at that moment. They were too wrapped up in their own pain and confusion.

-----

Visiting hours at the hospital ended at seven, so Michelle and Marcus hustled through the corridors. As they had expected, although deep down they had both wished they were wrong, Maura’s pregnancy test at the clinic came up positive. Unsure what steps the teenagers wanted to take just then, they had dropped them off at the apartment to talk and then headed over to visit Janette.

Through the window on the patient room door, they could see inside, where Janette was sitting up in bed. She had some bruising and swelling on the side of her face, but she was still a beautiful girl, and she was wearing a brave smile. On one side of the bed, Sean was sitting in a chair, holding Janette’s hand and looking grief-stricken. Tony stood behind him, his hands on Sean’s shoulders, looking with concern between his boyfriend seated before him and his friend lying in bed. On the other side of the bed, Seamus was standing with his arms crossed, looking like he hadn’t slept in weeks, although this had all happened less than twenty-four hours earlier.

“Hey everyone,” Marcus said gently as he opened the door to Janette’s room. Michelle followed him quietly. “Look at you, Miss Popularity,” he gave Janette a small smile, hoping to cheer her up. “Look at all the visitors you have in here.”

Giving Marcus a weak smile in return, Janette looked glad to see him and Michelle. “Yep,” she said. “And to top it off, I’m being visited by all the best looking guys in Long Island.”

As Marcus laughed and approached the bed, Michelle let her eyes wander to Sean first. He looked heartbroken, and as he glanced up at her, she knew he felt overwhelming guilt for what had happened to Janette the night before. Reaching over, Michelle squeezed his hand. She then looked up at Tony and saw the worry in his eyes. This sucks so bad, Michelle thought as her eyes moved back to the bed, where Marcus was trying to joke with Janette. Finally, Michelle moved her gaze over to Seamus.

The Irishman really did look awful. Deep dark circles were under his eyes, he was wearing the same clothes from the night before, and he had stubble all over his face. When Michelle finally caught his eye, he gave her a long doleful look before turning his gaze back on Janette.

“Thank you for coming, Michelle,” Janette said. “And both of you, for the flowers,” she motioned towards the vase of flowers Marcus had purchased in the gift shop of the hospital on their way up. “Thank you everyone, for coming here,” she added, looking at everyone for a moment before her eyes fell on Seamus.

“Well, that was good timing,” a nurse entered the room. “Because visiting hours are officially over. Besides, there’s a limit of three visitors at a time. Bunch of young troublemakers,” she said in a kind voice, smiling as to let everyone know she was just kidding, just trying to lighten the obviously dark mood of the room.

“I’m sorry we only got to be here for a few minutes,” Marcus told. “I’d say we’ll come tomorrow, but you’re being released in the morning, right?” Nodding, Janette told them that was true.

“Do you need a ride or anything?” Michelle interjected with concern.

Shaking her head, Janette’s thankful eyes moved towards Seamus. “It seems I’ve already got a ride,” she said softly, a small smile on her face. “But maybe you can get this one out of here until morning, Michelle. He’s been here since last night; he even called into work tonight. He needs a shower and a good night’s sleep. For goodness sake, I look better than he does!”

“I don’t want to leave you,” Seamus told Janette. “I can sleep here tonight-”

“Oh no,” the nurse interjected. “We made accommodations for you last night, because the patient was in ICU. You have to go home tonight, but we’re just going to give her a few more tests and a sedative to sleep through the night. You can come by around nine tomorrow to pick her up.”

Glancing between Janette and the nurse, Seamus looked defeated. “Okay,” he said softly. “But I’m going to be here first thing tomorrow morning.”

“I can’t wait,” Janette gave him a grin as she reached out to squeeze his hand. “And thank you so much, Seamus. For everything.” As she said it, tears filled Janette’s eyes and for the first time since anyone had arrived in the room, Janette did seem scared and defenseless. Everyone else felt their own eyes go glassy.

After saying goodbye to Janette, the five people filed out into the parking lot. Immediately, Sean burst into tears onto Tony’s shoulder, repeating over and over that this only happened to Janette because of him. Hearing this, Seamus’s eyes grew glassy again, as he shook his head. “It’s not your fault,” he told Sean. “It’s mine. I should have kept a better eye on her.”

Michelle was about to say something to both of the men when Marcus’s voice rang out beside her. “This is all bullshit,” he said loudly but calmly. “Sean, you were the victim of another attack. This is not your fault, however you want to spin it. And Seamus, you were working and still did your best to take care of Janette, possibly having saved her life by finding her last night. So please, both of you stop. This isn’t going to help Janette, and to be honest, right now what I really want to do if figure out how to bring down Luke and Alex and whoever else was involved in all this. Understand?”

Everyone looked at Marcus with surprise for his outburst, except for Michelle who looked at him with admiration. “I understand,” she said.

“I understand,” Tony added supportively.

Looking at each other, Sean and Seamus both nodded. “I understand,” their voices were low but strong as they said it.

“Okay, Michelle and I have to run,” Marcus reached for her hand. “But we’ll be at Janette’s apartment tomorrow morning to make sure everything’s clean and ready for her. Tony, Sean, can you guys help?” They both nodded. “And Seamus, you go home, take a shower and get some sleep, alright? You look like shit.”

Actually letting out a little laugh, Seamus nodded. “I will, and I’ll be round with her in the morning by ten.”

As everyone said their goodbyes, Michelle kept glancing at Marcus with respect. He had really taken control of the situation and turned it around to be something better than it was. As they climbed in the car, she surprised him by leaning over to kiss his cheek.

As Marcus looked over at Michelle, he said nothing. He just gave her a small smile. Finally, after a few moments of silence, he sighed. “Time to move on to the next issue,” he said. He sounded tired as he said it. “I wonder if Maura and Peter have figured anything out yet.”

“I don’t know,” Michelle replied, reaching over to squeeze his thigh. “But no matter what, they’ve got a support system like no other.”

“I can’t say I’m happy that we’re becoming a professional support system for our friends in crisis,” Marcus told her wryly.

-----

Marcus and Michelle just stared in shock at the teens sitting on the bed, both trying to figure out how to say what they were feeling gently. Finally, Marcus spoke. “I think it’s incredibly admirable of both of you,” he said slowly. “But I really think that you might want to talk about this some more before you make any sort of decision or tell your parents, Maura, or your aunt and uncle, Pete.”

“We don’t want to wait,” Peter’s voice sounded young and defiant as he squeezed Maura’s hand tightly. “This is what we want. You said you’d support us no matter what. Well, this is what we need support with.”

“But you’re only sixteen,” Michelle tried to speak calmly. “Do you really think marriage is the best option?”

-----

I KNOW, I KNOW… SORRY THAT THIS CHAPTER WAS CRAPPY. I’VE FIGURED OUT HOW I WANT TO END THIS STORY, HOW TO TIE UP ALL THE LOOSE ENDS AND SUCH, BUT I NEEDED TO COVER THE BASICS OF WHERE THE CHARACTERS ALL STAND IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THAT. THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE WITH THIS PIECE, WITH SPECIAL THANKS TO TAYE, CARIAD, ADAEE, FILI AND THE ANONYMOUS POSTERS WHO KEEP REVIEWING. YOU GUYS GIVE ME THE FUEL TO NOT JUST GIVE UP HERE, BUT TO FOLLOW THIS STORY (THE STORY I’VE HAD THE MOST DIFFICULT TIME WITH WRITING) TO THE END.