Entanglement

Co-written with Aya Frost


"Fuck! Ouji-sama!" Ripping the condom off Ruka grabbed tissues and touched Daisuike's side. "Fuck! I'm sorry- I- I'm-" His voice cracked and he felt panic and tears welling up. Asking if he was alright would be a stupid question but the words left his lips before he could stop them, his voice shaking with panic.

"A-Are you o-okay?"

Daisuike shivered feeling Ruka's light touch on his side. His skin felt overly sensitive now and he really didn't want to move. He'd collapsed on to his stomach once Ruka had pulled out, trying to get his breath back. Hearing Ruka's panicked tone asking if he was alright he didn't lift his head from the pillow his words slightly muffled. He needed some time to get to where he could think straight again. That had been beyond all expectations and he didn't even know what to think at the moment.

"Just give me a minute."

Ruka felt tears burning his eyes and he did the only thing he could think of and cleaned himself up first then quickly threw the condom away.

"I- I'm- . . . I'll get stuff. . ."

Ruka ran into bathroom feeling sick with himself. Daisuike was going to never want anything to do with him after this, hell he didn't want anything to do with himself either, but he was kind of stuck there. Running a shaky hand through his hair he grabbed some towels getting a small bucket filling it with warm water. His hands were shaking so bad he slopped some of the water out on the counter. Why hadn’t Daisuike said anything? It had to have hurt. Ruka gripped his hair for a moment trying to calm down and think. He knew he had some creams that would help numb the pain and he grabbed them moving back towards the bed hating himself more than he had in a long time. He'd fucked up royally and possibly just ruined the best thing that had happened to him in a very long time.

Hearing Ruka leave the room Daisuike looked up. He wasn't sure what Ruka seemed so upset about. He really wanted Ruka to just come back so he could hold him. Had he done something wrong? He went to push himself up and gasped as pain ripped through him. He sank back down on the bed blinking a few times. He'd known it was going to hurt but not quite this bad. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment wondering if that was why Ruka seemed so worried.

He opened his eyes hearing Ruka's soft tread and looked up at him. He was shocked to see the obvious distress he was in. He forced himself up biting back the yelp that wanted to escape as the movement sent pain shooting down his legs.

"Ruka? What is wrong?"

"St-Stop moving damnit! Lay back down!"

Daisuike blinked looking up as Ruka closed the distance between them, not understanding what he’d done wrong for Ruka to yell at him like that. It had been a while since he’d felt that hopeless fear rising up in him, the knowledge that he’d failed to do something right eating at him.

"Ju-Just let me take care of you okay? It's the least I can do. Then if you want to leave you can. . . " Setting the bowl on the nightstand he pushed Suke back down gently trying his hardest not to let the obvious pain Suke was in bother him.

Taking a rag he wrung out the water from it moving to clean up his thighs. "I'm going to touch the area. . ." He whispered softly as he moved over gently cleaning up the blood. He was thankful that it wasn't really bleeding anymore. He must have torn a small blood vessel, but still to think he had hurt him bad enough to make him bleed bothered Ruka and he'd never forgive himself.

He tried to ignore the flinches from Suke as he finished up and then grabbed the cream. "This will numb the area. . ." Carefully applying it he hung his head feeling his throat and eyes burn.

Seeing the blood on the rag shocked Daisuike. He knew it hurt but he hadn't thought he was bleeding. That would explain why Ruka was so freaked out. It freaked him out a bit too. Hearing Ruka say that he could leave Daisuike felt an entirely different type of pain stab through him. Clutching the pillow his buried his face in it trying not to flinch too much. Why would Ruka think he would want to leave? Or was it Ruka that wanted him to leave? It was hard to think straight his emotions starting to get the better of him. How could things go from mind blowingly amazing to awkward in no time?

Ruka bit his lip hard enough he tasted blood as he finished cleaning Daisuike up. It was just too fucked up. The greatest thing in his life now probably wanted nothing to do with him and it was his own fault. Laying a towel gently over his waist Ruka stood taking the bucket, cream and used rags to the bathroom.

Coming out he grabbed his pants reaching up and gripping his hair looking down. "A-Ano. . . If. . . If you want me to. . . I can take you home or-. . . Or you could stay here. If you want I can figure something out to get you home if you want- Eto, do you want. . . pain killers? I- I have some I can go and get you some."

Ruka was clueless as to what to say or do. He'd fucked up so bad he wasn't even sure if he could stay in his own house. If Daisuike wanted him to he'd go and get a hotel for himself and then call a driver to take Suke home. Gripping his hair tighter he pulled on it, chaos brewing inside him.

Daisuike looked up at Ruka confused and a little hurt that he didn't want to stay with him. He didn't understand why Ruka was acting like this. Wincing Daisuike sat up trying to find a way to sit that wasn't uncomfortable. He finally resorted to laying on his side.

"Do you want me to leave, Ruka?" Just saying it made his chest tighten his eyes burning. He looked down wondering if he'd been wrong thinking that Ruka had enjoyed himself. He would have to try harder next time, do something different so Ruka wasn't disappointed. Through he should be used to people being disappointed in him by now.

Lifting his head slowly Ruka stared at Daisuike then shook his head, "No, but- . . . why would you want to stay?" He looked away his eyes burning. Finally he just resorted to lowering his head in case he did start crying. He didn't want Suke to see him cry. It was bad enough he had hurt him.

A soft laugh escaped him and he lifted his head staring towards the window, "I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted me out of the my own house. I'd be willing to do it too. Anything- Anything to- . . .to try and fix things even in the slightest. I know I can't in the slightest but. . ."

He felt his throat tighten, "I-. . . do you want pain killers?"

Daisuike chuckled softly relieved that Ruka wasn't upset with him, but not happy that he was upset with himself.

"Ruka anata, I don't want you going anywhere. This is nothing. You are forgetting who I am. Believe me this is nothing compared to some things I've experienced. I'll be fine. Now, will you please get your ass over here and quit acting like I'm made of glass or something."

At Suke's laugh, Ruka's head shot up and stared at him like he had just been hit. Suke wasn't upset with him? He didn't hate him? It was like the floor had just opened up under him and he felt his legs get weak. Suke didn't hate him. . .

Walking towards the bed he instantly moved and wrapped his arms around him burying his face against his neck, shaking.

"I'm sorry. . . So sorry. . . I- . . . I promise. . ." He felt his throat tighten and a small sob escaped him that he couldn't contain.

Nuzzling into Ruka, Daisuike sighed. "The only thing you have to promise is that you will do that again as soon as possible. That was . . . simply the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. It was totally worth it, Ruka and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat."

He gently pushed Ruka back, taking his head in his hands he looked him in the eye. "I love you Ruka and nothing is going to change that."

Pulling Ruka down Daisuike kissed him, his chest tightening at the overwhelming emotions running through him. He would be willing to endure anything to stay with Ruka.

Ruka felt his chest clench painfully as he heard Suke's words and the kiss brought tears to his eyes. It almost hurt to know that he was so loved by this beautiful man. Why did this beautiful man who he had hurt love him? Why would he even want to have sex with him again? To know that he hurt him so bad bothered Ruka and he swore he'd never lose control like that again.

Reaching up he stroked Suke's face kissing him back with just as much passion as he was receiving feeling tears start to roll down his cheeks.

Daisuike finally had to pull back to catch his breath. He kept Ruka close. His heart ached to see his gorgeous lover crying. If Ruka got this upset over a little blood, Daisuike wasn't sure what he would do if he got hurt at work. That thought sent a tight spiral of fear through him. He would have to be more careful. He could not risk hurting Ruka in any way and it was glaringly obvious that Ruka couldn't handle him being hurt. It made him happy and humbled him to know that someone could love him that much.

Daisuike gently kissed Ruka's lips, then started trailing kisses across his cheeks tasting the tears there. He smiled softly his lips still against Ruka's cheek.

"You stole my heart the first time I saw you. How could I not give you anything you wanted including myself? Please don't be sorry. If I hadn't wanted it I would never have let you do it, Ruka."

Ruka nodded slowly but still clung to Daisuike.

"It's not just that." He sighed pulling Daisuike as close as possible moving to kiss him back gently, "I'm crying cause I'm both happy and- . . . and I hurt you. That kills me inside even though I know you like it to some extent. I went too far." Wrapping his arms around him tighter he kissed him gently.

"I swear I'll never hurt you again. . ."

Laughing softly Daisuike rolled over onto his back pulling Ruka with him so that he was laying on his chest. It felt wonderful being pressed into the bed, Ruka's amazing body covering his. He slid his hands along Ruka's sides, letting his fingers gently caress him.

"You haven't yet, so I wouldn't be worried about it." He kissed him lightly. "Want to go eat now?"

Ruka sighed not believing Daisuike for a moment. He didn't like the idea that he had hurt him enough to make him bleed. It bothered him a lot, he'd never made a lover bleed before. To have done it do Daisuike, the one person he'd ever felt truly connected with saddened him. Leaning down Ruka kissed him gently shuddering at the thought that he had hurt him so badly. It made his heart ache.

"Yes, but I'll bring the food here. You're staying in bed for a while. We'll also want to get you into the tub soon. Do you want to eat in the tub?" He smiled down at Suke untangling himself slowly.

Eat in the tub? Now that was an odd idea. Daisuike shook his head not really sure why Ruka was intent on him not moving yet. He was still tingling slightly all over, but the pain was more a dull ache now.

"We can eat here in the bed."

Ruka nodded moving out of the bedroom to get the food. He also grabbed them drinks as well as pain killers for Daisuike. He may not be feeling it yet but he knew he would definitely feel it in the morning. He probably wouldn't want to be walking around tomorrow either.

Handing him the drink he also handed him the pills, "Take them."

Daisuike eyed the pills for a moment, but something in the way Ruka was looking at him forestalled any protest. He hid the frown as he took them. It seemed that no matter what he said Ruka didn't believe him. It struck him that Ruka probably knew something he didn't. He'd never done anything like this before, not even close and Ruka seemed really freaked out by the fact that he was bleeding.

Taking a drink he washed down the pills and looked up at Ruka wanting to get his mind off things. "I forgot to get clothes for the concert tomorrow."

Shit, the concert. Ruka winced and felt a whole new feeling sweep through him. Daisuike wasn't going to want to be standing or sitting at a concert tomorrow and it was apparent that he had seen all his younger brother’s performances. Either Suke was going to be in a world of pain or he would miss it and that bothered Ruka.

Hanging his head he then looked towards his closet, "If. . . you want you can borrow my clothes. We're near the same size so I think everything should fit. Might be a bit too long but should work out."

Daisuike nodded not sure about the expression he'd seen flit across Ruka's face. "I appreciate you letting me borrow your clothes. Ano . . . I think I forgot my backpack in the car."

He shifted around on the bed getting ready to get up. He at least wanted to get cleaned up and into his pajama pants. He glanced around not sure where the rest of his clothes had ended up. "I'll go grab it."

"No!"

Instantly Ruka grabbed him holding him still, "Just stop it Ouji-sama, please?" His eyes were filled with pain and he was scared to have him move. Why didn't he understand that he was going to be hurt? Shouldn't he already be in pain? But then again Suke was used to it.

"You- Ouji-sama. . ." He hung his head, "I really messed up when we were- I- . . . I'm sorry. You need to just stop moving or it'll be even worse than it's already going to be in the morning. . ."

Daisuike sat back and glanced up at Ruka. After a moment he nodded careful to keep his expression neutral. "Okay. Do you mind getting it for me then? Maybe I left it by the door."

He wasn't sure why but one phrase kept repeating in his head and he knew Ruka was regretting doing anything with him. That thought hurt worse than anything Ruka could have done to him. He was supposed to be tougher than this! He felt like his body had betrayed him, ruining his first time with Ruka by bleeding when it wasn't supposed to. He laid back against the pillows lacing his fingers over his stomach trying not to think about anything.

Ruka sighed patting Suke's leg gently as he walked out looking for the bag. It wasn't in the living room which left the car. Sighing he grabbed a jacket zipping it up and not bothering with a shirt. The backpack was in the floorboard. Holding it close he hung his head. Suke probably was really upset with him. Biting his lip he headed back inside finding Suke how he had left him. Setting the bag next to him he smiled.

"Come on, let's take a bath. It'll help with the soreness tomorrow. I really would like to see the concert but if you're not able to walk I don't think we'll be able to go." He smiled sadly at him helping Suke up kissing his cheek softly.

Not able to walk? Why wouldn't he be able to walk? Daisuike let Ruka help him up wishing he could do something so that Ruka would give him one of those gorgeous smiles. His legs where weaker than he'd would have liked and he was horrified to hear himself whimper as he started forward.

He'd thought the pain had lessened. Apparently not moving was a good thing. It felt like Jiro had been beating on him except all in one very sensitive spot. Everything below his navel was throbbing with a pounding ache. So that was what Ruka had meant. He forced himself to move forward ignoring the pain, not wanting to worry Ruka any more than he already was.

Ruka stopped them making him lean against the nightstand for a moment. Quickly he stripped his pants off, the jacket having come off as he entered the apartment. In a swift movement he picked Suke up smirking at him playfully.

"I think this will be easier." It was a bit difficult but he smirked the entire time as he carried Suke to the bathroom. The tub was already filled and stayed heated. Smiling at Suke he grinned.

"Welcome to my second favorite room." Moving to the tub he climbed up the steps then eased himself and Suke into it, hissing at the heat softly.

The heat of the tub jolted Daisuike out of his shock. He wasn't sure if he should be thankful or upset and the mix was confusing him. He knew Ruka was well built but he was frankly surprised that he'd been able to pick him up like that. It had given him the weirdest feeling in his stomach.

He hissed softly as heat hit sore areas. He'd never thought he'd be this sore and now he really was wondering how things might be at the concert the next day.

Keeping Suke on his lap so that his bottom wasn't touching anything Ruka sighed burying his face against him. He felt like shit and that was putting it in the best possible way. Kissing his neck softly he tried to keep the sadness back.

"I'm sorry Daisuike. . . I really am. I promise you that I'll never do that again, I'll never be so rough. I just- I lost control . . . and I swear I'll never do it again."

Daisuike pushed away from Ruka looking at him a sternly. "Stop it Ruka. Stop apologizing. If it had been that bad for me you'd be unconscious in the floor not here with me now. So, stop or I really will smack you."

Ruka looked at Daisuike trying to not feel as guilty and not to mope but it was hard. With a somber nod he looked down some then looked up smiling a bit.

"I think your brother will kill me if he finds out we can't go to the concert cause I made it so you couldn't walk. He looks small but I bet he's got a bit of fight in him."

"Akira is definitely a fighter. He had to be. And he's not going to know anything because we are going and no-don't argue Ruka. We are going. It will be our first official date." Daisuike smiled at him glad that he seemed to be doing better even if the sparkle wasn't quite back to his eyes yet.

Leaning forward Daisuike laid his head on Ruka's shoulder enjoying the feel of being held. Grinning to himself, he let his hand slip down Ruka's chest and over his stomach pausing only slightly before caressing him. This whole time and he'd not once touched Ruka like Ruka had touched him. He was going to correct that.

A shudder escaped Ruka along with a soft moan. Tilting his head back he shivered again. Suke's fingers were touching him so deliciously and it was making his whole body go numb with pleasure.

Tightening his grip around Suke he couldn't stop himself from reaching out and lifting his head to kiss him. It felt amazing and he was still somewhat in shock to know that Suke even wanted to touch him still. His body jerked slightly as Daisuike did something with his wrist.

"F-Fuck! Do that again. . . Please?" He couldn't contain the whine that escaped from his lips.

Daisuike grinned shift backward a bit so he could get a better grip on Ruka. Wrapping his fingers around Ruka's hardening member he slowly stroked it enjoying every little twitch and gasp. He really wanted to see if he could get Ruka off again and get him off hard. He remembered what Ruka had done to get him going so bad at the apartment and tried the same thing twisting his wrist slightly as he came up.

He was still awed by Ruka's size and part of him couldn't believe he'd had that inside of him. It blew his mind just thinking about it and he shivered. Leaning forward he crushed his lips to Ruka's, his other hand dipping down to cup his balls, softly stroking them.

Ruka gasped having to grip onto Suke from the waves of pleasure coursing through him. The way he was stroking him was turning him on so bad and he almost wanted to question if Suke had ever done this to someone before. His body was shivering and twitching in pleasure. When Suke cupped his balls he jerked gasping and yelping in surprise and pleasure, groaning towards the end of it.

"F-fuck!! Ou-Ouji-sa-sama!"

Daisuike grinned loving that he was giving Ruka so much pleasure. It was starting to turn him on just listening to him. He kissed Ruka's cheek moving down to his jaw, his teeth lightly grazing his neck. He was surprised at the need already rising in him. It was almost making him anxious in his intensity.

"God! I want you so bad Ruka!"

A choked gasp escaped Ruka and he shuddered clutching at Suke more. Hearing that he wanted him so much and the way he kept touching him was making him desperate. His body was tingling with pleasure, waves just coming one right after the other and he shuddered unable to do anything.

Licking his lips he shuddered wondering if Suke could handle sex. He wouldn't dare touch him to bottom but he wondered if he was up to topping. Just getting him off would make Ruka happy. Shivering more he leaned his head down to Suke's ear, his voice husky.

"Do you want me Ouji-sama?" He gasped a bit as Suke moved his wrist again, "If you're up to it, you can take me. . ."

Smiling Daisuike nipped at the skin of Ruka's neck. "Not yet. I'm going to make you come like this first."

He stroked him harder, squeezing slightly each time he neared the tip. He wanted to know what it felt like to have Ruka come in his hand, to feel his erection pulsing as he did so. Everything was so new to him and he wanted to experience everything he possibly could.

Ruka flailed for a second trying to grasp at something as he felt the heat rise inside him. The water was not helpful to grab onto and he couldn't grip the edge of the tub either. Grasping hold of Suke he started to pant harder and heavier his body clenching and twitching. Daisuike was definitely going to get his wish at the pace he was going.

Clutching at him even harder he started to whine softly, trying to get his breath but he couldn't as he body started to tingle in that telltale sign that was he close.

"O-Ouji- Ouji-sama. . .I-Iku! Iku!"

Daisuike winced as Ruka grabbed him, but didn't stop what he was doing. He was definitely going to have more than a few bruises in the morning. He grinned at the thought. He was enjoying getting them too. The way Ruka was clutching him and crying out made his body burn in response. Ruka was just too intoxicating, hammering all of Daisuike's senses, sending heat rushing along his skin leaving tingles behind.

Ruka gasped as he slowly came down from his high and he felt his body relax. Panting softly he grinned at Suke as he leaned to kiss him shuddering at the feel. He wanted to make Suke come again, it was the least he could do for what he did and in return for what Daisuike had just done to him.

Reaching up he stroked his cheek grinning even wider.

"God you're too good at that. Are you sure you've never been with someone before?"

Daisuike chuckled softly. "I have a good teacher and I'm a quick learner."

He could hardly wait to do that again. It was amazing to feel Ruka lose himself like that and know he'd done it to him. Bringing his hand up out of the water Daisuike let his wet fingers trace Ruka's collarbone then leaned down kissing it. Everything about him was beautiful and it made Daisuike a little desperate. He wanted to show Ruka that he could be a good lover, that he wasn’t weak even if his body didn’t want to cooperate. Right now he really wanted to go back to the bed, but they needed to eat something first. He grinned. Ruka was too distracting, he would easily forget to eat with him around.

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*anata: term of endearment often used between spouses equivalent of 'dear' or 'honey'
*iku iku: "I'm coming/going to come"