August

March 30

Caddy pored over the sheet, holding it gently in his hands, careful not to wrinkle it.
"So are you going to accept?"
Phidias sighed.
"Caddy, I asked you not to - "
"Regular sex?" Cadmus read aloud. He looked up at Phidias. "I thought that was a given."
Phidias frowned and reached for the paper with his left hand. Cadmus held it away.
"Wait, stop! I have a right to know. I have a say in this, too. And I've already seen it anyway."
Phidias sighed. Caddy grinned and kept reading, squinting occasionally at Henrik's writing.
"Wait, I can't - what does this one say?"
Phidias leaned over to read it and his eyed widened. He'd forgotten about that one.
"Give me that."
Phidias stuffed the note into his pocket. Caddy laid back on the bed.
"It looks like a good list. Even though I didn't get to read the whole thing."
Phidias looked over at his son.
"So you think I should accept it?"
Cadmus shrugged.
"Well, what do I know? I'm just a kid." he picked at the bedcover for a quiet minute. "But Henrik does seem nice."
Phidias nodded and turned back to the mirror, picking up the scissors again.
"Well, you'll find out for sure at dinner tonight."
Cadmus sat up on the bed and leaned forward to examine his toes.
"Dad? Have you spoken to Dr. Long lately?"
Phidias paused where he was, a fragment of hair stretched out between the scissors' blades.
"No. I guess I should call him. I've just been - "
"Busy. I know."
Phidias put the scissors down, emotions suddenly overwhelming him. It had been too long; Alan would be wondering how he was, where he was. He'd feel abandoned. They all would - his coworkers, his friends...he'd been so wrapped up here...it was just another thing he'd missed. Where were Sheridan and James? Phidias wanted them here, but it made him sick with worry to think about them. Gone for days and no word...
Caddy was looking at him intently in the mirror.
"Dad?"
Phidias shook himself from his miserable reverie.
"Yeah, Caddy?"
"It's going to be OK, you know."
Phidias mustered a passable smile for his son.
"I know, Caddy. It's going to be fine."

~:~

Sheridan quickly set the table, looking back to check his work. It seemed satisfactory. He went upstairs to get dressed.

Aaron Soyinka arrived home for lunch at exactly 12, dropping a pile of papers and books down on the table in the entryway and calling out for Sheridan.
Sheridan didn't answer; instead, he appeared in the doorway to the dining room, dressed in a natori and long sleeves that he kept pulling down to cover his hands. His hair had been curled by James' careful hand.
"Hello."
Aaron checked his face for some sign, any indication. There as none. Aaron ruffled in his pockets as if suddenly remembering something there, then approached Sheridan, who considered moving away but didn't. When Soyinka was closer, he reached into the inside pocket of his coat and produced a small black box, tied with a pink bow; this was presented to Sheridan. Sher's eyes flicked down to it, then up to Aaron's face, which was hopeful. He took the box.
It was a necklace, a pretty gold thing. Sheridan picked it up.
"Do you want to put it on?" Soyinka asked, a touch too eagerly.
Sheridan shrugged. Aaron stepped closer, took the necklace, and moved behind his carrier wife. Sheridan was proud of himself for not flinching as Aaron lifted the necklace around his head, holding Sher's hair gently to the side so that it could be fastened. Soyinka stepped back to admire his work and smiled.
"It suits you." Sheridan looked self-consciously down at the floor. "It matches your ring."
Sheridan looked down at his hand. He and Aaron Soyinka had been married 36 hours after the doctor had verified his status as a newly initiated carrier in the hotel room. There had been no contestants, no protests, no family members to cry foul. Just him and Aaron and James there with Harley. There had been no ceremony. Sheridan informed his brothers by mail.

The next day, things had been too strange to have feelings. He just went; went to the doctor (again), then to the courthouse, then to Soyinka's house. Went to dinner and into the shower and to bed alone.

On the third day, everything hurt. It hurt to talk to Soyinka. It hurt to ignore Soyinka. It hurt to hate James. It hurt to love James. It hurt to think about James. And Harley was there the entire time, a presence - silent, mostly, which made it worse; he was a motile ghost, leaving fingerprints of control everywhere. He frightened Sheridan, but Harley and Soyinka shared a house, and so interaction was impossible to avoid. He'd learned to deal with that - with them, seeing daily the three people in the world he least wanted to connect with. But dealing with his mind was another matter, and the confusion was the worst part.
Sheridan felt fragmented, broken, split into pieces. Part of him still felt weak, aching, bereft...everything was different now, everything was changed, made unfamiliar...violated. It made him angry and tired, all at once. He envisioned himself a wraith - neither in this place or the next, but only floating, lost somewhere in between. That part frightened him.
The other part of him felt completely and utterly relieved. It was over; it was all over - the worry and the fear and the constant fucking effort of resistance. He could rest a while now. It was all said and done: his path was set. All that was required of Sheridan now was that he be good. And for a carrier, it was very easy to be good. There were no moral quandaries, no political situations, no pressure to lead or provide. In this life, there was only one path to goodness: obey.

Today, he had made crabcakes for lunch.

~:~

"Ohhhhh, man." Ren moaned from the left side of the kitchen, grabbing the sink and doubling over to try to get a handle on his stomach. "Ohhh, man. Ohhhh, I hate your father."
Adrian cooed and rubbed his back sympathetically.
General William Mackenzie looked up from his boiled egg salad and shook his head.
"Nope. Not my fault. Not this one. This was you."
Ren glared daggers at his husband from across the room.
"I'm not the one who didn't pull out, Will." he hissed.
Will Mackenzie shrugged helplessly.
"Well, you have to give me more warning than 'Oh, shit!'."
Ren ignored him and splashed some water from the sink on his face.
"I hope you get sympathy pains."
Will Mackenzie wisely and quietly went back to his eggs.
Adrian didn't feel that fantastic himself this morning, but he'd been cheered by the clean bill of health he'd gotten the day before and couldn't bring himself to be irritable. The day just seemed too beautiful.
"Sean's coming for dinner tonight."
Ren nodded and sipped some of the lemon-ginger tea that June made especially for these occasions.
"Right. OK. Fine. I don't care. You're cooking."
Adrian looked up in surprise, but a frantic hand motion from his father kept him from protesting.
"OK." he said meekly.
General William Mackenzie relaxed, and then cleared his throat.
"When Sean gets here, there's things to be discussed, Adrian. The council has denied the request for land for you and Sean to build your house."
Adrian turned to his dad.
"What? Why?"
General William Mackenzie looked evenly at his oldest carrier son.
"You know why."
Adrian looked helplessly at his father.
"The proof. They want the proof."
Will Mackenzie nodded. Adrian bit his lip and then spoke.
"Sean and I decided that we don't think we need to do that to - "
"It's not you and Sean's decision."
Adrian looked up at his dad.
"Why not?"
Will Mackenzie folded his hands in front of him and stared hard at his son.
"If you wish to be a part of this community, Adrian, then you must behave as if you wish to be a part of this community."
Adrian looked over at his stepmother. Ren was engrossed in the conversation, watching the back-and-forth silently from his place by the sink.
"Ren? Tell him we don't need to do it. It's just custom, it's not a law."
Ren straightened up and quietly answered,
"I had to do it, Adrian. We all did."
Adrian met his eyes, then looked to his right, out the window.
"So this is what the new wave of the Revival has wrought, eh, Dad?"
William Mackenzie continued to stare at his son.
"You have a choice, Adrian. You always have a choice. You can either abide by the rules of Dothan, or you can go back to the CEC."
"Will." Ren was looking at his husband now, his voice soothing but face stern. "That's not necessary."
Will Mackenzie met his wife's eyes, then backed down.
"Adrian, I understand your reticence. And your shame. But it is a custom which is as expected as law, and if you wish to be full members of Dothan, I would advise you and Sean to abide by it. And it would be a first step towards reinstating yourself in this community, Adie."
That one stung. Even though he'd been welcomed at Woodacre, even though it was like being back home and it seemed as if he'd never left, Adrian knew. Knew that people talked, complained, whispered when he wasn't around. That single name, that little phrase, that one tiny moniker, so transformative, so indelible.

Whore.

Adrian suddenly felt like crying. He touched his hand to his face and realized, to his horror, that he already was.
"It's not even my fault! Sean's the one who pushed me out! He's the one who said I couldn't do it - he made me leave! You know he made me leave! And he did it on purpose so he could come after me! And I didn't know that - he said we didn't need some ceremony in order to be together. He told me it would be fine, and everyone in Dothan did it, and it wouldn't matter after we were married! He's the one who said we - "
Adrian stopped there, because breathing and talking had become incompatible activities. William Mackenzie, recognizing that his son's upset was fast becoming hysteria, got out of his seat and went over to comfort Adrian.
"Hush. I know. I know, Adie. I know."
"It's not my fault we're not doing it right."
Will Mackenzie furrowed his brow.
"Hey. Hey. You're not doing too bad. But I wish you would do the rest of it in the proper order, OK? You need to go and speak with the council. They're angry with you. They know your situation. You know the laws. You know you broke them when - "
"I didn't break them! Sean did it! He...he made me do it." Adrian finished weakly. He looked up at his dad; Will Mackenzie was frowning seriously at Adrian. Ren swallowed and stepped forward to get between them, his hands raised in a shrug.
"Yes, but, Adrian, the laws were still broken, and the Council thinks - "
"We're not fools, Adrian." William Mackenzie cut in with a scowl, talking over Ren's placations. "We know you. Know you damn well. Sean may have 'made you' do it the last time, but he damn sure didn't make you do it the first."
Adrian was silent, eyes wide - he looked injured and taken aback at his father's snappish rebuke. Will Mackenzie sighed and touched Adrian's shoulder, rubbing his eyes with the other hand.
"Listen, just...I'll talk to Sean tonight. We'll set up the ceremony. Ren can arrange for the surgery. We'll talk about the wedding. Then we'll talk to the council about getting you a house."

~:~

Lunch with Henrik on Wednesday had turned into lunch with Henrik and Cadmus on Wednesday, which had turned into dinner with Henrik and Caddy and Anders on Wednesday. This was the list of events which had led Phidias to be standing outside his own bathroom with a toothbrush in his hand, waiting impatiently for Cadmus to finish doing his hair. Phidias knocked on the door.
"Caddy? You alright in there? You fall in?"
"Fine! I'll be out in five!"
Phidias sighed and went into the other room to get dressed. He opened his closet. Not much there. He felt like he'd worn every natori before. He decided to check Caddy's closet.
Phidias went into his son's small bedroom and opened the closet doors. He pawed through the first rack of natoris - when had Cadmus collected so many? - and moved on to the drawers on the left side of the closet. When he leaned down to pull the handle of the first drawer, though, he noticed a small box he hadn't seen before wedged between the chest of drawers and the closet's back wall. Curious, he leaned down for a better look.
"Dad." Phidias jerked back up, narrowly missing hitting his head on a row of hangers. Cadmus was standing in his room, looking a little pale. "Dad, what are you doing?"
Phidias flustered a little.
"Nothing, I was just looking for a natori." he looked away from Cadmus' critical stare, then suddenly remembered who was the father and who was the son and looked back up. "Why? Why should I not go into your closet?"
Cadmus looked angry for a split second, but Phidias blinked and his son was just grinning, putting his hands on his hips in a faux-annoyed fashion.
"Well, you can, but you might not ever come back out. I need to clean up in there."
Caddy came forward and pushed past him to finger through the natoris himself. He retrieved a dark green, patterned one.
"How about this?"
Phidias nodded dumbly, still preoccupied by the box and Cadmus' face.
"Yeah...yeah, that should be fine. Thanks, buddy."
Grasping the natori tightly in his hand, wrinkling its folds, Phidias turned and, with one last glance over his shoulder, quickly left.

~:~

Two hours later, Phidias and Cadmus pulled up outside of Henrik Angstrom's house. Phidias glanced at his watch. Excellent. They were only fifteen minutes late. They were making a brilliant impression already. He hustled Cadmus out of the car, waited for the chaperone to emerge as well, and then hustled all three of them up to the front door. Cadmus looked around in awe at the size of the place.
"Dad, I like Henrik." he said quickly. Phidias rolled his eyes.
"You could try at least meeting the man first." he muttered. He rang the bell once, and presently a well-manicured gentleman of about 70 opened the door. He seemed to brighten upon seeing them.
"Ah, the Alexanders, you must be. Come in, come in!"
he stepped back to usher them in, pointedly closing the door in the chaperone's face. Cadmus grinned.
"Dad, I really like Henrik." Phidias ignored his son and hurriedly opened the door to let the chaperone in before the thing could file some kind of report on that or something. When he turned back towards the entryway, the elder man was already taking Cadmus' jacket, and Henrik was striding down the hallway towards them.
"Welcome." he came forward and briskly kissed Phidias' cheek, not leaving him time to be embarrassed before turning to Cadmus. "You must be Cadmus."
Caddy, who was busy gawking at the refined decor of the house, snapped back to look at Henrik, and smiled.
"Hi! You're Henrik. You can call me Caddy."
Henrik tilted his head in acknowledgment of this, while the elder man took Phidias' jacket. Henrik lifted his eyes to him.
"And this is Mr. Paul. He is an old family friend, who helps us with doorbells and coat racks and the like, in exchange for a small fee extracted primarily through the cost of donuts and long-distance phone calls."
Mr. Paul laughed at Henrik's wry description of himself.
"I am something of a butler to Mr. Angstrom's house."
Henrik's eyes glittered amusement.
"A butler who takes no direction, works no set hours, and frequently uses my shower."
Mr. Paul inclined his head in an amusing impression of Henrik's gesture.
"All these are true. However, one good trait: I am also a butler who knows when to take his leave. I'll let you three get on to dinner. As for myself - I have many very important and busy things to do for the duration of the evening."
Cadmus grinned at this. Mr. Paul turned to him first.
"Good night, Cadmus. It was a pleasure meeting you." he extended his hand, which Caddy politely shook.
"You can call me Caddy, too."
"Caddy, too, it is." Mr. Paul turned to Phidias. "And goodnight to you as well, Dr. - "
Phidias cut in, stung by the reminder and suddenly bitter.
"Actually, it's Mister."
There was a pause, then, just as if Phidias had never spoken, Mr. Paul smiled ad bowed slightly
"Dr. Alexander, then. Goodnight. You can find your coats just to your left when dinner is done."
And with that, he disappeared off into a door to the left.
Henrik clapped his hands together and turned to Phidias.
"Well? Shall we eat?"


As the entered the dining room, scraping sounds, swearing, and the banging of pots could be heard from the kitchen. Henrik frowned and looked towards the swinging glass door which appeared to lead there.
"Please, sit. It sounds as if Anders is having trouble, and I believe I should check on him. He is, after all, my only progeny, and it would be a shame to have to rewrite my will after he'd set himself on fire in the kitchen."
Henrik pulled out two chairs from one side of the table and guided Phidias and Cadmus into each of them, then disappeared into the kitchen.
When they were alone, Caddy leaned over to whisper to his father.
"Dad. I really, really like Henrik."

Presently, the frosted glass door of the kitchen swung open, and Henrik and a young man emerged, each bearing large covered dishes of food, which they arranged on the table between the two existing dishes. The most striking thing about the young man was how curiously little he resembled Henrik. Where Henrik was fair, the young man was brown-skinned; where Henrik had dark eyes, the young man had bright green ones that brought an otherworldly kind of light to his youthful face. Where Henrik's natural expression was stern and serious, the young man's face looked as if it had been built for laughter. The only similarity between them was in build - they shared the same broad shoulders and strong jaw, the same weight of body and masculine presence, the same confident gait. Phidias found considerable interest in glancing between them, making these little notes in his mind.
The second most striking thing about the young man was that he was wearing a bright green apron and white striped oven mitts; he removed these as he smiled at Phidias.
"You must be Dr. Alexander." he extended his hand. "I'm Anders. It's a pleasure to meet you. My father has told me such interesting things."
Phidias's heart sped up. Interesting? Henrik had been talking about him and the best way his son could describe those stories was as 'interesting'? Immediately, Phidias began to worry. Anders had already moved on, and was now smiling at Cadmus.
"And you must be Caddy. I'm Anders. I'm Henrik's son."
"I know." Caddy almost whispered, which made Phidias jerk his head around to see what new devilry had caused his son to suddenly become understated and quiet. From the corner of his eye, he noticed that Henrik was also watching Cadmus, a curious cast to his face. Caddy cleared his throat.
"Um, I'm Cadmus. I'm Phidias' son."
Anders looked amused.
"I know. Nice to meet you, Cadmus."
he extended a hand over the table to shake Caddy's hand. Caddy took it, then blurted out,
"I'm almost fifteen!"
Phidias blinked at his son. Anders politely nodded.
"Well, congratulations. When's your birthday?"
Caddy turned red and shrunk back into his chair a little, as if he hadn't anticipated this question.
"Not - um, not until December."
Anders nodded seriously.
"Well, that's perfect, then. Gives us time to plan a party."
Cadmus looked thrilled, then turned red immediately and looked away. Phidias glanced out of the corner of his eye at Cadmus. Leave it to Caddy to act normal all day, then wait until dinner to start getting weird. Phidias sighed. He would never understand that kid.
"Well, we have here a spring vegetable medley," Henrik introduced, uncovering the first dish, "As well as some bread, baked in-house by the esteemed Mr. Paul." Henrik then indicated the third dish on the table, which Anders was standing proudly by.
"And our main course - roast venison, hunted and prepared by our most honorable chef tonight, Mr. Anders Angstrom."
Anders grinned, basking a little in his father's attention. Caddy looked up at Anders.
"Hunted? You hunt?"
Anders nodded and Henrik explained.
"I possess nearly 60 acres of property not far from here. I insisted Anders learn to hunt as a child, and he rather unexpectedly has taken a liking to it."
Anders began to slice the deer with a mean-looking knife.
"Yes, I have. Perhaps I can take you with me sometime, Caddy."
Phidias scoffed at the idea in his own mind, but kept quiet. As if Cadmus would want to go on something as -
"OK!! I'd love to go."
Seriously, this kid was always surprising him. Phidias shook his head and turned his attention to Henrik, suddenly remembering that this was still, technically, a date.
"So I noticed you asked us out from 6 til 11 pm. Did you have more than dinner planned?"
Henrik inclined his head from the seat he had taken at the head of the table.
"As a matter of fact, I did. I supposed that we could eat and afterwards, you and I could retire to the library, to continue the conversation we so recently began. After that, I expect we will want to discuss more details - all four of us - here, in the dining room. In the interim, Caddy can tag after Anders. He'll only be in these few rooms."
Phidias glanced uneasily at Anders.
"If you are worried, Phidias, your chaperone can follow with them."
Phidias had the good graces to look embarrassed.
"Sorry, I didn't - "
Henrik held up one hand to stop him.
"Please. You are a father. It's alright." he held out a hand to indicate the table. "Please. I'm starving. Let's eat."

~:~

Henrik led Phidias to the same cluster of chairs they'd sat in before, and set a thin brown folder down on the table between them. Phidias swallowed nervously.
"I read your list."
Henrik smiled.
"I expected you to." the smile faded. "What did you think?"
Phidias pulled the paper from his pocket and tried failingly to smooth it out on the table. It crumpled up a bit around the middle, but the words were still easy to read:


"I Require:
- Companionship in general activities
- Regular Sex, in which I am initiator and controller
- Good Carrier Behavior: homekeeping & childcare, entertaining of guests, participation in community carrier events
- Biological Children
- Loyalty & Honesty.

I must be the head of household and primary decision-maker.


I Will Not Tolerate:
- Infidelity
- Rudeness
- Insolence
- Dishonesty
- Disobedience

I will be the primary administrator of discipline to my household.


I Can Give You:
- My affection, loyalty, and protection.
- Support for your old career; or a new one
- A home for you and Cadmus
- Full welcome into my family

I will also pay for Cadmus to attend a better, private school."


Henrik nodded.
"A good summary."
Phdias nodded absently.
"Yes. But what did you - discipline? What does that mean?"
Henrik looked Phidias directly in the eye.
"It means that I believe it is within my authority to punish you, to punish Anders, or to punish Cadmus."
Phidias frowned.
"Right. But punish like how?"
Henrik shrugged.
"That depends on what the situation requires."
Phidias looked worriedly at the paper, almost afraid to ask.
"Like doing chores?"
"Yes."
"Or like writing lines?"
"That, too."
"Or did you mean physical?"
Henrik stared unblinking at Phidias.
"Yes, that as well."
Phidias toyed with the end of his braid and bit his lip. Henrik stared at it for a minute, fanciful thoughts drifting through his head. He ignored them and went back to the paper.
"You must understand that I will never hurt you, or Caddy. And that if you were to join my family, I would treat you as the love of my life, and Cadmus as my own child. Even in the best families, however, the need for discipline may sometimes arise. I will be careful and thoughtful always, and will never harm you or him unduly. Is this something you could live with, Phidias?"
Phidias stared at the paper. Then he looked up, at the books lining the walls. He looked back at the last promise on the paper. Then he looked up at Henrik.
"I think it will be fine."
Henrik seemed to release some of his tension, and he leaned back in his chair. Phidias frowned at the paper one more time.
"It talks about my infidelity - what about yours?"
Henrik inclined his head.
"My fidelity is both present and unchangeable. It is an essential part of our marriage."
"And what happens if you stray?"
Henrik looked away for a minute, thinking, then steepled his hands and turned back to Phidias.
"We divorce. You keep this house, and 95% of all my business assets."
Phidias raised one eyebrow.
"And if I do it?"
"Then you get nothing. And I will take custody of Cadmus."
Phidias stared at him.
"I'm not going to wager my own son."
Henrik shook his head.
"I did not mean to imply that you would. I simply wanted to place even stakes. I offered my home and my business."
Phidias continued to stare at him, unmoved. Henrik swallowed and reached out his hand across the table, as if wanting to break this news gently.
"But right now, Phidias, Caddy is the only asset you have."

~:~

"I thought that went well."
Caddy scoffed.
"If it had gone really well, we wouldn't be going home tonight."
Phidias's eyes widened.
"Caddy!"
Caddy laughed and went back to staring out the window.
"So I guess we have a family again now."
Phidias frowned.
"Caddy, we were always a family. Just me and you."
Caddy nodded.
"I know. I know. But now our family is real."
Phidias fingered the ring on his left hand and wondered just how true that was.