Jaden

Yay! another update. Hope you all enjoy, oh and please let me know if I should change the story title to "Bring Me to Life" (Please read the note I left on chapter 13)Thanks everyone! I love hearing from you all.


Chapter 15
(You’re Hearts Desire)

“How come we’re going down to the caves? It’s too early for bed.” Jaden asked as he followed Marcus down past the cellar and into the living quarters below, while clutching his gift to his chest. Marcus continued to walk down the steps smiling to himself; he remembered something and wanted to show Jaden.
“I know it is early, but I realize that I have clothing that maybe a better fit for you, not that I do not find you absolutely adorable in my clothes, but you are practically swimming in it.” Marcus answered, “And I just remembered that Adrian has plenty of clothes here, there might be a pair of boots that you can wear as well.”

Jaden stopped, and wondered who this Adrian was and if Adrian is a boy or girl’s name. “Adrian?” he whispered.

Instead of heading towards Marcus’s room they entered another room about two doors away. Jaden noticed that it was just as large as the master bedroom and asked if the bedrooms where all the same size.
“Yes, give or take a few feet, they are all about the same size and each room has its own bath.” Marcus answered, and then he walked over to one of the two amours and opened the door. He began to take some pants, shirts and sweaters out, to see which would suit Jaden best. In the meantime Jaden looked around the room and could see that Adrian had some personal items here and there. In one corner there was a paint set with an easel, a painting in its beginning stage, and when finished it would be a portrait of Marcus. He didn’t know why it bothered him to see the painting. Then he looked on the dresser and saw a hairbrush set almost like his, not as many jewels, but just as elegant.

“Ah here we are these should do nicely why don’t you put them on Jaden?” Marcus asked. Jaden looked at the clothing and they were nice, he wondered if Marcus paid for them. It did not occur to him, but he was feeling a little jealous even threatened by someone he didn’t know.
“Um, does Adrian stay here a lot?” asked Jaden.
Marcus shrugged his shoulder and turned to look for shoes while he answered Jaden, “Not as often as I would like.” Not seeing Jaden’s eyes narrow.
Marcus then faced Jaden and showed him a pair of boots, and said, “I am afraid they would be a bit large, but with extra socks you should be fine until I can take you shopping, I apologize I should have thought about you borrowing Adrian’s clothing, I just did not think at the time…” Marcus stopped he felt like something unseen was pushing against him; he looked at Jaden and could see his eyes grow darker. Then it occurred to him that Jaden’s emotions had become angry and worried for him. “Jaden what is wrong, I can sense your anger. It feels as if you are pushing me away. Have I said something to offend you?” Jaden blinked and shook his head in confusion; he had no idea that he was generating any angry feelings towards Marcus. He thought about his gift and he could feel himself settle down a bit.

Not wanting to cause any trouble he quickly answered him, “Huh? Er no, I mean, I don’t think I should borrow someone’s stuff if they’re not here to say its ok. I just don’t want to cause any trouble; you know some people are funny that way when it comes to their shoes, and stuff.” Not looking at Marcus he looked away pretending to check out the room. Although Jaden’s anger had dissipated a bit, he could still pick up on some tension coming from Jaden. Marcus smiled in his re-assuring smile and said.
“You need not worry about that, I have known Adrian for many years, and I am quite sure that Adrian would not mind at all.”
Jaden couldn’t help his curiosity and had to ask, “So who is this Adrian? Does he, I mean she, aghh what is Adrian a boy or a girl?” he hated to look like an idiot in front of Marcus. As for Marcus his eyebrow arched when he noticed Jaden’s tension over Adrian. He then sat on the edge of the bed and motioned for Jaden to sit next to him. But Jaden would not move from his spot, still clutching his gift. Marcus sighed, still feeling the tension being directed at him.
“Adrian” explained Marcus “is a he, and on occasion he and”

He was cut off before he could finish his explanation when Jaden spoke, “You mean he lives here with you?” a tone of irritation in his voice.
Marcus was surprised, and realized that Jaden was quick tempered, but why?
“Jaden” Marcus tried again to speak, “Yes on some occasions he lives here with me
and… “ but before he could finish, Jaden cut in again.
“So this is HIS room? And you want me to borrow HIS clothes? How come? I’m fine wearing your clothes, why do I need to wear his stuff?” Jaden couldn’t help pouting, he looked down at his stocking feet getting angrier with himself, he didn’t want to act like such a baby, but he already knew he would not like this Adrian.

Marcus smiled again at Jaden, and then continued, “You need not worry about Adrian being funny when it comes to lending out his clothes, if I know Adrian well, he will be delighted that he could do so.”

“Yeahhh well, I just don’t want to borrow anything of his.” Jaden answered and not realizing he looked up in anger towards Marcus. Now Marcus was perplexed, how did this happen, why was he angry? Not wanting to let things get out of hand, Marcus knew he would have to be firm with him.

“Jaden what has gotten into you? As I said, Adrian would not mind in the least. He is a bit taller then you, but I think his clothes would be a better fit. I did not bother with Victor’s clothes because he and I are the same size.”

Now Jaden was really confused, trying not to drop his gift he almost shouted at Marcus, “Victor!” “Does he live here with you too?”

“Yes” answered Marcus feeling like he was on trial. “Victor is”

“None of my business” Jaden quickly interrupted. He realized he had no right to question Marcus, Victor, Adrian or whoever they are, could be here, it is Marcus’s home and he had no right to question him. Feeling ashamed with the way he was acting. He really needed to change the subject. Fearing Marcus would change his mind and make him leave his home.
Jaden approached the bed and began to pick up some of the clothes and he asked, “um, forget I asked, I really don’t want to know, hey, how come you want me to change my clothes, what’s going on?” Jaden asked as if nothing had happened.

Feeling like a storm blew over his head, Marcus was even more confused, and not wanting to inflame the boy’s emotions he went along. Marcus reasoned that the boy’s emotions were unstable due to the recent events he was forced to suffer. And so he went on to explain to Jaden that he wanted to take him into the city to shop for new clothes for him. Jaden opened his eyes wide, feeling an overwhelming surge of love for him. But not wanting to feel like he was taking advantage he asked Marcus that if he had old clothes he didn’t need anymore, Jaden could alter them to fit him. But Marcus reminded Jaden, he also needed shoes and underclothing and any other incidentals that he would need. So it only made sense to go shopping, it was after all part of his birthday gift. Now Jaden let out a big smile, and reminded Marcus that it was not December 25th yet, and since that day was agreed to be his birthday it was about 4 weeks away.

Marcus could feel a smile pull at his lips, but not wanting to lose this little tiff with the boy, he said, “but, you cannot alter shoes can you?” Jaden just looked down at his feet. “Jaden I have not had a reason to go into the city to shop, and I really want to do so, if I am forced to go alone, I will pick out whatever I like and you will have to wear it. Hummm let me see” Marcus looked at Jaden as if he was in deep concentration, walking around the boy smiling Marcus said, “Orange would be a nice bright color for you.”

Jaden quickly looked up at Marcus in disgust, and he cried out. “ORANGE? Who the hell wears that color? Do they even make it? Aw come on, it’s not even a Christmas color, no, no orange.”

“Very well” agreed Marcus trying not to laugh. “Christmas colors it is, you would be so lovely in reds and greens.” Then as an after thought, looking Jaden in the eye with an evil playful grin he said, “We can get lovely little gold buttons, with silver bells on your new shoes.”

Now Jaden was fit to be tied, “silver bells? No way! Hey your not dressing me up to be a creepy elf?” he kept praying to himself that Marcus was kidding he had to, it was his money to spend, but he really hoped Marcus was kidding. Marcus started to laugh, he just could not hold back. He felt so good to feel this free with the boy. Then Jaden smiled realizing that Marcus was pulling his leg.
“Ok so you had your fun with me, but really Marcus you shouldn’t spend so much on me. I really can fix some of your old clothes to fit me better; I’m pretty good at it. Lizzie taught me.” Jaden said feeling proud of his sewing technique.
Marcus looked down at beautiful green eyes shining bright and smiled at Jaden; he reached out and caressed his cheek. “That is nice of you not wanting to spend my money, but as you remember you need not worry about it.” Marcus raised his hand before Jaden could cut him off, “Yes I do understand your need not to take advantage, but allow me to do this. As for any old clothes every now and then I have the caretaker, Mr. Nate takes them to a local church.”

“But Marcus, you have to let me pay you back. This is really too much and I’m afraid I won’t ever be able to return the favor.” Jaden said sadly.

Suddenly it occurred to Marcus how Jaden can earn his way and therefore he won’t have to feel as if he was taking advantage, putting both of his hands on Jaden’s shoulders to get his attention he said,
“Ah but you will be able to pay me back, I have come up with the perfect idea that would not put you in dept to me.” Jaden looked up hopeful wondering what it could be, he really did want to do his part.

Looking at his watch and even though it was early in the evening Marcus told Jaden,
“Which we can discuss later, we are wasting moon light and I want to go shopping in the city, so get dressed and meet me on the roof.” Still holding on to his gift, he picked up some of the clothes and a pair of the boots and headed out the door. When Marcus asked where he was going, Jaden simply replied. “To our bedroom, so I can put my gift away, hey can I keep my hairbrush by the bedside table?”

Marcus blinked a few times [our bedroom?] he thought to himself.

“Yes of course, I will get our coats and gloves. Now go on get dressed.” Marcus smiled and left the room. Liking the way Jaden said our bedroom.

As Jaden started to change his clothes, he kept wondering about who Victor and Adrian were. How they came to live here and have their own rooms and why aren’t they here now? He wondered if they were just good friends. And he knew it was silly to think this way, but he worried if they were more then just good friends.

The one thing Jaden and Marcus did not talk about was their sexual preference. Now he really wanted to know where Marcus stood on that point. Even though Marcus showed tender affections toward him, but it felt more like a big brother type of relationship. The small hugs, the occasional touch and kisses made him feel safe and comfortable to be with him. In his mind, Marcus was making every effort to be a good friend to him, too generous with his money, but a good friend just the same. And as happy as he was about that, it also made him a little sad, also because Marcus made no comment about the way he lived before, it really made him curious about what his opinion is of same sex couples. Another thing that seemed to bother Jaden, was the way his emotions would roller coaster, one minute he is sad and crying, the next so frightened and crying, then anger like now as he started to think about this Victor and Adrian, “agh, who are they? Why do they have to be in Marcus’s life?” Jaden whispered to no one in the room, he did that sometimes when he felt confused and insecure. Thinking out loud sometimes helped him to reason out his thoughts. In this case it was not helping. Realizing one thing for sure, that the one emotion he was feeling and never ever believed he would experience it, was jealousy. The only word that came to mind as he covered his face with his hands was,
“Crap.”

He still could not explain why he was jealous over the two other men in Marcus’s life. He found he was feeling very possessive over him, he wanted Marcus for himself. In fact, if Jaden were to see Marcus be intimate with someone he knew he would punch their lights out, [Even if the someone was a woman?] he thought to himself. [Absofuckinglutely I would, don’t care who it is.] Jaden nodded firmly as if he made his point to no one there. Then he sighed sadly coming back to the reality of his life, someone as sweet and drop dead beautiful would never waste his time on him. Why would someone like Marcus even waste his time to think that way about him, he was used goods, unclean and Marcus deserved the best. “Ok Jaden, you’ve had your pity fest, get over it and hurry up. Marcus is waiting.” He told himself and finished dressing, and before he left the room, he placed his gift by the bedside table. Hoping that at least Marcus will comb his hair before going to sleep.

He didn’t know if he could ever like these men, by the time he made his way up to the attic, Marcus was there waiting for him with a coat to protect him from the cold before stepping outside on the roof. Jaden looked at crystal clear blue eyes and decided no, he will not like them.