Learning to live again
folder
Romance › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
17
Views:
2,729
Reviews:
19
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Romance › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
17
Views:
2,729
Reviews:
19
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Nightmare
Looks like I'm always apologizing for delays at the beginning of my chapters... oups. Well real life keeps intruding and holidays have me moving a lot, and not all places has internet AND a computer. Well sorry. I always update as soon as I can. Oh, but on with the fic.
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He was running, alone, in the dark. Everything was blurry, his vision obscured by his tears. The streets were all empty, it was late at night but he didn’t care. He couldn’t stand the pain and rejection anymore, he couldn’t. So he ran, under the rain, his jacket and baggy pants already soaked, oblivious to his surroundings and the state he was in.
He had thought he could trust his teacher, he had been young and naïve, he knew better now, even if it was only one year away. Back then, his parents were often fighting. He had felt helpless, he had even tried to talk to his parents but they were always pretending everything was alright and saying he didn’t have to worry.
Being the favourite of his class and loving his teacher he had waited after class one afternoon and told his teacher his fears. He didn’t like his parents fighting; he wanted them to love each other again, just like before. His teacher had said it was going to be alright, he was going to talk to them and Mat as the trusting little boy he had been, had believed him.
Now, only one year after, his world was falling apart. His teacher had gone to his mother, and they had “fallen in love”. He stopped running, and, bracing himself on the side of a wall, he retched, disgusted. As if it had been a signal, he suddenly felt drained of his energy and half sat, half fell to the ground. He was in the park he realised dimly.
He had no family now. His father had gone away and refused to see him again, blaming everything on him. His mother had drawn away as time had gone by. Why bother with a troublesome kid when you had your cute new little baby and new wonderful husband? He had no place in this happy family and they showed it to him. Tonight they had told him that they had decided to put him into a boarding school. He didn’t want to loose his friends too. It was all he had now. He hated school. He hated the teachers. He hated his mom and stepfather. And he hated himself for hating them, for ruining their happy family.
He wanted his mind blank, he didn’t want to hurt anymore, and he couldn’t stand it! He… started to cry, all the accumulated sorrow and hurt pouring away as tears no one would ever see.
He started as a warm hand touched his shoulder and the rain suddenly stopped. He looked up to see the face of his stepfather. He stared shocked as the warm hand was raised and descended on his cheek in a powerful blow. His ears ringing, he looked at the usually warm face of his ex-teacher. It wore a forced smile and he started when lightning suddenly flared, lighting the face and making it look more than scary for a 10 year old.
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Tansa’s eyes grew wide as the sobs stopped and a pained scream took its place. Light poured from the doorway behind him and he could barely see the writhing form of his student on the large bed. He heard quick footsteps behind him and Alavas was behind him, a warm presence when the scream had been icy cold, stopping his heart for a second as painful memories washed over him.
Pushing away the pain he had once experienced to let out those kind of screams, he ran to the side of the young man. Without any hesitation he sat on the bed and took the sobbing and crying kid in his arms. Lying down next to him, he took him more fully, bringing him close and stroking his hair and lower back gently like Alavas had done with him countless times when nightmares had plagued his nights.
Slowly, the sobs calmed down, the tears stopped and arms clenched his now wet shirt. Not stopping the stroking and murmured reassurances, Tansa waited for Mat to stop shivering in his arms. He looked up to see that Alavas was nowhere to be seen, having probably gone back to bed. Panic striked him for a moment before he calmed down and repeated the words his lover had taught him. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I’m strong, I don’t need any help. Sighing softly, he mustered his courage and asked the teen if he was okay.
When only silence answered him, he continued his ministrations and waited for the teen. He knew he was awake. He would wait all night if need be.
“Why are you doing this?”
The voice was barely audible as it was muffled by his shirt but he heard it none the less.
“I’ve been through my load of nightmares too.”
Once again, silence was his answer. He didn’t mind. He just hoped the teen felt better; being held by a stranger must be weird for him. Slowly, Mat shifted, burying his face in the crook of a slender neck.
“I’ll kill you if you talk about this.” the teen stated, and Tansa had to smile at that.
“Yeah of course”, he said with a laugh.
“Don’t worry; this is between you and me” he said in a more serious tone.
He smiled again as that made Mat’s tense form relax at last. After five minutes his breathing evened out and Tansa realised the boy had fallen asleep on him. When he was sure the teen was deeply asleep, he carefully got out of the bed, and the glass of milk long forgotten, he went back to his own bed and the warm arms of the one that kept his nightmares at bay. He would always be thankful for his saviour and lover. He just hoped Mat would find his.
________________________________________
Alavas smiled as his love made his way back to their bed.
“Will you be able to rest now?” he asked with a smile while opening his arms so Tansa could snuggle into them.
“What do you mean?”
“You were restless since we went to sleep” he said, I was worried he kept for himself.
“I’m sorry! Did I disturbed your sleep? I was trying not to wake you up, but I just couldn’t sleep.” Tansa said, biting his lower lip and Alavas couldn’t resist.
He took the delicate chin in his hand and sealed their lips together in a sweet kiss.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“I… its strange because nothing is really bothering me, its just… I don’t know… its hard to explain.”
“Mmmh” he said kissing those sweet lips again while massaging his little human’s scalp, “Try”
“Well, something woke me up, and then I just couldn’t sleep again, it’s like something bad happened but I don’t know what. I… it was like… ah!” he said making a little frustrated sigh.
Alavas watched the pouting lips of his lover and found himself kissing them again.
“What were you dreaming about?”
“I don’t remember. You think it has to do with my dreams?”
“It is possible.”
“I don’t think so, the feeling was different like… pff” Tansa said burying his face in the crook of his neck and kissing it.
Chuckling softly, Alavas buried his nose in silky soft strands and said “Don’t worry, I’m sure you will figure it out eventually, I believe in you.”
“That’s easy for you to say” the pouty voice answered.
Smiling to himself, Alavas sighed and kissed the top of his lover’s head. He did believe in him and he was always sad to see how little Tansa believed in his own strength. Bringing the other closer, he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep, his love having already fallen asleep.
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Thanks to Distant Raen for pointing a stupid mistake in this chapter.
Reviews= happy author= chapters that write themselves easily= fast update.
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He was running, alone, in the dark. Everything was blurry, his vision obscured by his tears. The streets were all empty, it was late at night but he didn’t care. He couldn’t stand the pain and rejection anymore, he couldn’t. So he ran, under the rain, his jacket and baggy pants already soaked, oblivious to his surroundings and the state he was in.
He had thought he could trust his teacher, he had been young and naïve, he knew better now, even if it was only one year away. Back then, his parents were often fighting. He had felt helpless, he had even tried to talk to his parents but they were always pretending everything was alright and saying he didn’t have to worry.
Being the favourite of his class and loving his teacher he had waited after class one afternoon and told his teacher his fears. He didn’t like his parents fighting; he wanted them to love each other again, just like before. His teacher had said it was going to be alright, he was going to talk to them and Mat as the trusting little boy he had been, had believed him.
Now, only one year after, his world was falling apart. His teacher had gone to his mother, and they had “fallen in love”. He stopped running, and, bracing himself on the side of a wall, he retched, disgusted. As if it had been a signal, he suddenly felt drained of his energy and half sat, half fell to the ground. He was in the park he realised dimly.
He had no family now. His father had gone away and refused to see him again, blaming everything on him. His mother had drawn away as time had gone by. Why bother with a troublesome kid when you had your cute new little baby and new wonderful husband? He had no place in this happy family and they showed it to him. Tonight they had told him that they had decided to put him into a boarding school. He didn’t want to loose his friends too. It was all he had now. He hated school. He hated the teachers. He hated his mom and stepfather. And he hated himself for hating them, for ruining their happy family.
He wanted his mind blank, he didn’t want to hurt anymore, and he couldn’t stand it! He… started to cry, all the accumulated sorrow and hurt pouring away as tears no one would ever see.
He started as a warm hand touched his shoulder and the rain suddenly stopped. He looked up to see the face of his stepfather. He stared shocked as the warm hand was raised and descended on his cheek in a powerful blow. His ears ringing, he looked at the usually warm face of his ex-teacher. It wore a forced smile and he started when lightning suddenly flared, lighting the face and making it look more than scary for a 10 year old.
________________________________________
Tansa’s eyes grew wide as the sobs stopped and a pained scream took its place. Light poured from the doorway behind him and he could barely see the writhing form of his student on the large bed. He heard quick footsteps behind him and Alavas was behind him, a warm presence when the scream had been icy cold, stopping his heart for a second as painful memories washed over him.
Pushing away the pain he had once experienced to let out those kind of screams, he ran to the side of the young man. Without any hesitation he sat on the bed and took the sobbing and crying kid in his arms. Lying down next to him, he took him more fully, bringing him close and stroking his hair and lower back gently like Alavas had done with him countless times when nightmares had plagued his nights.
Slowly, the sobs calmed down, the tears stopped and arms clenched his now wet shirt. Not stopping the stroking and murmured reassurances, Tansa waited for Mat to stop shivering in his arms. He looked up to see that Alavas was nowhere to be seen, having probably gone back to bed. Panic striked him for a moment before he calmed down and repeated the words his lover had taught him. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I’m strong, I don’t need any help. Sighing softly, he mustered his courage and asked the teen if he was okay.
When only silence answered him, he continued his ministrations and waited for the teen. He knew he was awake. He would wait all night if need be.
“Why are you doing this?”
The voice was barely audible as it was muffled by his shirt but he heard it none the less.
“I’ve been through my load of nightmares too.”
Once again, silence was his answer. He didn’t mind. He just hoped the teen felt better; being held by a stranger must be weird for him. Slowly, Mat shifted, burying his face in the crook of a slender neck.
“I’ll kill you if you talk about this.” the teen stated, and Tansa had to smile at that.
“Yeah of course”, he said with a laugh.
“Don’t worry; this is between you and me” he said in a more serious tone.
He smiled again as that made Mat’s tense form relax at last. After five minutes his breathing evened out and Tansa realised the boy had fallen asleep on him. When he was sure the teen was deeply asleep, he carefully got out of the bed, and the glass of milk long forgotten, he went back to his own bed and the warm arms of the one that kept his nightmares at bay. He would always be thankful for his saviour and lover. He just hoped Mat would find his.
________________________________________
Alavas smiled as his love made his way back to their bed.
“Will you be able to rest now?” he asked with a smile while opening his arms so Tansa could snuggle into them.
“What do you mean?”
“You were restless since we went to sleep” he said, I was worried he kept for himself.
“I’m sorry! Did I disturbed your sleep? I was trying not to wake you up, but I just couldn’t sleep.” Tansa said, biting his lower lip and Alavas couldn’t resist.
He took the delicate chin in his hand and sealed their lips together in a sweet kiss.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“I… its strange because nothing is really bothering me, its just… I don’t know… its hard to explain.”
“Mmmh” he said kissing those sweet lips again while massaging his little human’s scalp, “Try”
“Well, something woke me up, and then I just couldn’t sleep again, it’s like something bad happened but I don’t know what. I… it was like… ah!” he said making a little frustrated sigh.
Alavas watched the pouting lips of his lover and found himself kissing them again.
“What were you dreaming about?”
“I don’t remember. You think it has to do with my dreams?”
“It is possible.”
“I don’t think so, the feeling was different like… pff” Tansa said burying his face in the crook of his neck and kissing it.
Chuckling softly, Alavas buried his nose in silky soft strands and said “Don’t worry, I’m sure you will figure it out eventually, I believe in you.”
“That’s easy for you to say” the pouty voice answered.
Smiling to himself, Alavas sighed and kissed the top of his lover’s head. He did believe in him and he was always sad to see how little Tansa believed in his own strength. Bringing the other closer, he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep, his love having already fallen asleep.
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Thanks to Distant Raen for pointing a stupid mistake in this chapter.
Reviews= happy author= chapters that write themselves easily= fast update.