The Screenplay

Ben pulled his hand away slowly when Eilla reached for him. He looked at her forehead, unable to look at her eyes, but refusing to look away. Eilla could feel his stare burning into her and it hurt. As confused as she was at that moment, a small pocket of clarity was opening inside of her.



"Eilla, was Eazy here last night?" Ben said firmly, softly. She only nodded. "Did you sleep with him?" Ben could hardly force the words out of his mouth. He squeezed a fist full of bedsheets in his hand, and could feel blood rushing to his cheeks. Eilla didn\'t answer. He asked again. Again she said nothing.



They sat silently for what seemed like an eternity. Both were so overwhelmed with the stupidity of their argument of the night before and what was happening at that moment. Ben was breathing heavily through his nose, keeping his lips from trembling. Eilla was hugging her knees to her chest, staring at her toes unable to cement what Ben was already assuming correctly. If Eilla said anything, it would become official, it would be over for them.



"Damn it Eilla!" Ben shouted, shattering the awkward silence. He stood up abruptly, pulling the bedsheet fist to his eyes, turned away from her and with his free hand leaned against her dresser. "And what the hell is this?" He batted the bowl of cigarette butts violently, scattering them across her carpet and bedding on the floor, the bowl clanging loudly against the wall before crashing to the wooden floor. Eilla, however, continued to sit motionless. Ben turned around, wishing she had reacted at all. Seeing her still staring at her toes broke his heart. Was this carelessness? Why wouldn\'t she say anything?



Twenty minutes later, Ben was still standing in the same spot. He had dropped the sheet, apologized for the mess, but continued to demand an explaination. Eilla had opened the tearing floodgates, and she sat hugging her knees, wailing into her lap. "Just leave," she whimpered



"Tell me you slept with him," Ben said. He refused to become emotional until he knew, even though he was sure already. "Tell me you liked it. I hope it was fucking worth the grief."



"Ben, please..."



"Tell me!" Ben yelled loudly. It was frightening, and Eilla could not stand to see him so angry.



"Fine! I... I slept... I fucked him!" She finally spat it out. She closed her eyes, terrified of Ben\'s reaction.



"Why!?" Ben screamed, without even a pause for initial reaction.



"I\'m so sorry..." Eilla said, softly, unsure if Ben even heard her.



He paced slowly at the side of the bed, talking half to himself, half to Eilla, very loudly. "This is insane. This is fucking incredible. Ex-boyfriend... The basketball player, I see how it is... I can\'t believe this." He stopped and looked at Eilla, who was still avoiding his glare. He reached his hand down and placed it under her chin to lift her eyes to meet his. "Do you love me?"



"What?" Eilla asked, confused.



"Do you love me?"



"Yes!"



"Come to Connecticut with me. I\'ll forget this." Ben stated.



"Ben... I... What?"



Eilla kept her eyes locked with him as he sat back on the bed next to her, her chin still resting in his fingertips. He had to be crazy.



"Right now, Eilla, I am so pissed at you. I am so fucking mad," his voice was soft and comforting to her even though his words were heartbreaking. "I do not want to forgive you at all. I want to never see you again. But I know that in a week or so, I\'ll be suicidal because I let you go even though you did something so monumentally stupid and you still love me. You do that to me, you make me stupid. I just... I\'m going to Connecticut no matter what. I will go, no matter what. I don\'t want this to sound like an ultimatum or anything but, coming with me is the only way this will work."



"So, if I go with you, you might forgive me but you might change your mind and I\'ll be stuck in Connecticut." Eilla mumbled.



"You\'d take that chance if you really wanted me."