My Beloved Shadow

Nick knew that he should say no and deny the whole thing. He doesn’t know how much his grandfather knows, he and Michael hadn’t exactly been subtle about their ‘relationship’. He could of talked to some of the other kids at school, kids who wouldn’t think anything of it. He should of tried at least to keep things quieter, but he’s not really sure if he cares.

“Yes, I have a boyfriend.”

It felt odd saying it aloud. Sure, he had discussed the situation with Michael a couple times, but he had never said anything about it to anyone else.

His grandfather goes from mildly angered to full blow rage in the blink of an eye.

“You disgust me.” His grandfather spits out, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.

“Your soul is bound for hell, boy, you had better change yourself now.”

Nick just shakes his head and takes a step backwards, but it only seems to fuel his grandfather who starts shouting at him, calling him all kind of names.

“I’ll not have a filthy faggot living under my roof!”

He moves as if to hit Nick and Nick is once again five years old, cowering on the floor from his father. His lip is bleeding and his head is ringing, his mother is crying and clinging to his father to keep him away. All Nick had done was ask his father to play ball with him.
Nick’s eyes narrow in his own anger and he takes a step forward. He’s getting tired of being the victim, first with his father, then Michael and now his own grandfather.

“Go ahead, hit me! Be just like my father. Do you think I like living here, with the people who killed my mother? You forced us to exist in a living hell for thirteen years and then you dragged me into your hell. Do you think I really care?”

He takes another step forward and his grandfather backs down, fear evident in his face.

“Out! Get out of here now! I don’t ever want to see you again.”

“Great, I don’t want to be here any way.”

His grandfather points to the door, shaking in his own fear and rage.

“Out!”

Nick turns to leave, pausing a moment at the door to look back at them.

“Bastard.”

Then he walks out, slamming the front door behind him and stalks away. Nick is lost in his own thoughts, yelling at himself for not getting his bags. He has pictures of his mother in the bags under his bed, pictures that he had wrapped carefully when he had moved. Her favorite necklace, a rosary style necklace with agate gemstone beads.

The dress she had loved to wear during the summer. Little things that reminded him of her and of the good memories they had together. He doesn’t care about the clothes in the closet or in the drawers, but he cares about the two bags under the bed and now they’re lost to him forever. His grandfather will kill him before he lets him back into the house.

Nick stops suddenly and looks up to find that he’s standing in front of Michael’s house. How long ago had it been since he’d left here? He looks down at his watch to find that it’s been about an hour. Would Michael let him stay here, since he doesn’t have a place to live now?

But when he thought about it he just became angry again, picking up what he had walked off. If it wasn’t for Michael none of this would of happened. He had had his own plans for leaving that involved him taking the bags, not losing them. Nick walks up to the door, an almost visible cloud of anger surrounding him.

He doesn’t even notice that the door opens on it’s own when he walks up to it. He storms in to find Michael lounging on the couch, no one else in sight. Michael had sent Norris and Jason home not long after Nick had left. He hadn’t been in the mood for company.
Michael looks up when the door opens and is surprised to find Nick walking into the room. He stands and is walking towards Nick when he notices that Nick isn’t happy.

Michael is about to ask what’s wrong when Nick starts hitting his chest. If Michael had really been human he would have been knocked down by Nick’s strength, but he isn’t and he didn’t.

Nick doesn’t even think as he hits Michael, venting all of his frustrations, all of his fear and anger. He hadn’t wanted any of this, he had wanted to live a happy life with a perfect family. What he had gotten was a living nightmare that had only gotten worse. It hits him all at once and he collapses to the floor, hugging himself and crying hard.

Michael isn’t sure what he should do, isn’t certain what had happened. He kneels down next to Nick but when he goes to touch him Nick pulls away and hugs his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth.

“Nick. Nick, what’s wrong?”

He moves to touch Nick again and again Nick pulls away, actually crawling away from him this time.

“Don’t touch me!”

Michael moves faster than Nick can see and grabs hold of his shoulders. Nick falls back on the floor, Michael on top of him. Nick starts screaming and struggling against him. Michael pulls him up and hugs him close, restraining his arms. After awhile Nick settles down and just lets Michael hold him as he cries everything out.

“What happened?”

Michael waited till Nick had calmed down and been calm for a few minutes before he asked again.

“My grandfather… he found out and kicked me out.”

Michael didn’t know what to say, he just held Nick close and tried to comfort him that way.

“It’s not so bad, you can live here, with me.”

Nick pulls away and looks up at Michael.

“I don’t care about that…” He takes a deep breath, steadying himself as he releases it.

“I had two bags under the bed with important things in it. He won’t let me back into the house.”

Michael smiles, “There are ways to get around that, you know. How would you like to learn how to Shadow Dance tonight? You can use that to get into your room and get your things.”

Nick liked the idea of getting his things back and he had wanted to learn how to Shadow Dance. But something is bothering him. How can he go from hating Michael to being all right with him.

“Yes, I want to get them back. My mother died five years ago and it’s all I have left of her.”

Nick tries to stand but has difficulty. Michael stands and gives him a hand up, Nick doesn’t look at him when he takes his hand and stands.

“How do I do it?”

Michael laughs and shakes his head. “You don’t waste time, do you, meili.”

Michael waves a hand and the lights in the room go out, he moves a little closer to Nick.

“First, you have to have shadows. It’s easier to start with a dark room because a room without light is the same as jumping through the shadows.

You’ll want to concentrate on drawing the shadows, the darkness, to you. Pull it up around you a if you were being clothed with it. Know where you are at the moment, take note of small details, then file it in the back of your mind.

Now, think about where you want to go. We’ll use my room for practice. Picture it in your mind, fill it in with everything you can remember. Seek out a corner with shadows.
Draw the shadows in my room to you, wrap them around you the same way you have with this room.

Send those shadows home, but catch a ride on them. They are wrapped around you and you’ll easily be able to go with them. To come back to merely release the shadows in my room and use the shadows from this room, which are still wrapped around you, to get back.

Now, give it a try.”

Michael steps away, wanting Nick to do it on his own.

Nick closes his eyes and pictures the living room, filing it away like Michael told him to. Then he pretends that the darkness in the room is a tangible thing and draws it to him, wrapping it around like a second skin. He does something similar with Michael’s room.
Nick pictures it in his mind and draws shadows from the corners of the room, wrapping it over the living room shadows.

He wills the shadows return to Michaels room. Nick feels strange all of a sudden and opens his eyes to find himself standing in the shadow world. He takes a step forward, his mind still on Michael’s room, and finds himself standing in the bed room.

Nick draws in a shaky breath, releasing the shadows from the bed room and riding on the other shadows, back into the living room. The lights come on when he returns and Michael is smiling.

“Well?”

Nick releases the shadows around him, feeling light headed, but in a good way.

“I-I did it… I Shadow Danced.”

Michael draws him close, kissing his lips softly as he hugs him.

“I knew you could. Now you just do the same thing, but picturing your own room, and you’ll be able to get your bags.”

Nick nods his head, feeling a little euphoric from the whole experience. He’s not sure if he can do it again right away, but he needs to. He needs those bags like a druggy needs a new fix. But, being able to Shadow Dance almost makes up for everything that’s happened so far. Never before has something so wonderful happened to him.



**
Another short chapter. I\'m hoping that this one comes off like I wanted it to. Been waiting to do this one for awhile. *smile*
Oh, ray 4 ever, I\'ve got someone betaing for me, but if you want to help to, I would be more than happy to get it. I figure the more help I can get, the better I can make this.