Only the Heart Knows Why
folder
Romance › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
16
Views:
4,422
Reviews:
26
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Romance › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
16
Views:
4,422
Reviews:
26
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Starting a Slow Recovery
Fourteen: Starting a Slow Recovery
(Characters belong to myself and Azathoia. Please take the time to read his story Only the Heart Knows Why, Quax’s Days.)
I’m not sure when I went home that week. I’m not even sure when I actually returned to school. Things were blurring together in a sort of hazy dream that I just couldn’t wake up from. Whenever I shut my eyes I would hear all the screams, see all the blood. I would see the lifeless bodies of both my mother and Kaddar. I couldn’t shake the feeling that Aledren was responsible for my mother’s death, and I didn’t know if Adrian had been caught or not…
***
Quax is visiting today; thankfully Aledren is out of town on another long business trip. The pink-haired boy is biting his lip, watching me as I look back at him, things slowly starting to come into focus for the first time in ages. “Kanau… you look horrible.”
I simply raise an eyebrow at his statement. Horrible, huh? I decide I’ll check that later, and suddenly he’s much closer, a bit too close. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Well,” he starts, putting a hand on my forehead, “I just hope you aren’t getting sick.”
I grumpily try to shove his hand away, only to be rewarded by a frown of his. “I’ll be fine, Quax.”
“Okay…” He sits back down again, and I can tell that he is still worried about me. “Have you been eating alright?”
“Yeah,” I lie to him. I don’t remember when my last meal was, to be honest. I don’t think I ate anything yet this week… “I’m okay, Quax.”
“You’re not ‘okay’, Kanau.” He leans in closer. “You could’ve been killed yourself that day. I know for sure that you aren’t anywhere near ‘okay’ yet.”
“Well maybe if you leave me the fuck alone, I will be okay.” Normally that would have scared him off, right? Being harsh like that always gets him to leave me alone, doesn’t it? Then why the hell is he still sitting there, watching me?
It takes him a moment to respond with something. “I know you don’t really want to be alone right now… and even if you do, I’m not leaving. You helped me out, Kanau, why won’t you let me do the same for you?”
“You already did, you idiot. You’ve returned the favor… a week ago.”
“Try a month ago,” he says, sighing at me.
“A month? Really?” He nods quietly at me. “Did… his killer.. ever get caught?”
Quax slowly nods again. “He turned himself in… saying it was an accident.”
“Accident… It was no fucking accident… Maybe yes, hitting him was accidental when he was actually aiming at me!” I could feel the anger rising inside of me. “Kaddar would still be alive if he hadn’t fucking stepped in front of me like that! I should be the one that’s dead, not him! It wasn’t his time to go! It was mine! But the fact that the shooting happened in the first place is no fucking accident!!” I look down at my hands. They’re shaking so much. “That fucker deserves to rot in jail…”
It takes a moment for me to realize that Quax is hugging me now. I don’t need this. I don’t… but I shakily return the hug. It feels so strange. There’s something different about Quax compared to whenever Kaddar put his arms around me. Why is that?
***
Quax doesn’t leave until early evening. I absently tell him that I have homework to do, and he reluctantly agrees to leave me for the night. I wonder if I’ll see him at school in the morning or not. I’m not really sure who’s in my classes, just that I’m taking… math and some kind of science now. I don’t even need to remember the other classes tonight. For now it’s just me and this little annoying task called homework.
… Maybe if I wait one more night to do it, the teacher will understand. Psychological trauma and all that or whatever that shit is… Or maybe I’ll just drop out. If I drop out then I can move out, right? Work and get enough money to leave the city… It is this wonderful thought that lulls me to sleep a few moments later…
~~~
(AUTHOR’S NOTE: I know this chapter is way too short compared to previous ones, but I am in trouble with this story now. I love it so much and I don’t wish to see it go inactive for so long, but unfortunately I cannot think of anything else to add without my partner’s story to accompany it. With Quax getting more involved than before now, I am not entirely certain on how he would react to things, and without knowing what would be happening in his personal life, I am at a loss as to how he is now. After finding out that my dear friend will be straying away from the creative world for now, I don’t know how I can continue writing this without his refreshing ideas. I am very sorry to all the readers but this story is now officially put on hold. *tries not to cry* HOWEVER if you like reading dramatic stories about two guys falling in love (well you must if you’re still reading this o.o) then you can check out my newest story titled Cracked Heart about a teenage ghost. I won’t give away more than that, but if you like my stories, check it out, I WILL NOT BE SILENCED… Have a good day.)
~Raven of Darkness Shadows
(Characters belong to myself and Azathoia. Please take the time to read his story Only the Heart Knows Why, Quax’s Days.)
I’m not sure when I went home that week. I’m not even sure when I actually returned to school. Things were blurring together in a sort of hazy dream that I just couldn’t wake up from. Whenever I shut my eyes I would hear all the screams, see all the blood. I would see the lifeless bodies of both my mother and Kaddar. I couldn’t shake the feeling that Aledren was responsible for my mother’s death, and I didn’t know if Adrian had been caught or not…
***
Quax is visiting today; thankfully Aledren is out of town on another long business trip. The pink-haired boy is biting his lip, watching me as I look back at him, things slowly starting to come into focus for the first time in ages. “Kanau… you look horrible.”
I simply raise an eyebrow at his statement. Horrible, huh? I decide I’ll check that later, and suddenly he’s much closer, a bit too close. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Well,” he starts, putting a hand on my forehead, “I just hope you aren’t getting sick.”
I grumpily try to shove his hand away, only to be rewarded by a frown of his. “I’ll be fine, Quax.”
“Okay…” He sits back down again, and I can tell that he is still worried about me. “Have you been eating alright?”
“Yeah,” I lie to him. I don’t remember when my last meal was, to be honest. I don’t think I ate anything yet this week… “I’m okay, Quax.”
“You’re not ‘okay’, Kanau.” He leans in closer. “You could’ve been killed yourself that day. I know for sure that you aren’t anywhere near ‘okay’ yet.”
“Well maybe if you leave me the fuck alone, I will be okay.” Normally that would have scared him off, right? Being harsh like that always gets him to leave me alone, doesn’t it? Then why the hell is he still sitting there, watching me?
It takes him a moment to respond with something. “I know you don’t really want to be alone right now… and even if you do, I’m not leaving. You helped me out, Kanau, why won’t you let me do the same for you?”
“You already did, you idiot. You’ve returned the favor… a week ago.”
“Try a month ago,” he says, sighing at me.
“A month? Really?” He nods quietly at me. “Did… his killer.. ever get caught?”
Quax slowly nods again. “He turned himself in… saying it was an accident.”
“Accident… It was no fucking accident… Maybe yes, hitting him was accidental when he was actually aiming at me!” I could feel the anger rising inside of me. “Kaddar would still be alive if he hadn’t fucking stepped in front of me like that! I should be the one that’s dead, not him! It wasn’t his time to go! It was mine! But the fact that the shooting happened in the first place is no fucking accident!!” I look down at my hands. They’re shaking so much. “That fucker deserves to rot in jail…”
It takes a moment for me to realize that Quax is hugging me now. I don’t need this. I don’t… but I shakily return the hug. It feels so strange. There’s something different about Quax compared to whenever Kaddar put his arms around me. Why is that?
***
Quax doesn’t leave until early evening. I absently tell him that I have homework to do, and he reluctantly agrees to leave me for the night. I wonder if I’ll see him at school in the morning or not. I’m not really sure who’s in my classes, just that I’m taking… math and some kind of science now. I don’t even need to remember the other classes tonight. For now it’s just me and this little annoying task called homework.
… Maybe if I wait one more night to do it, the teacher will understand. Psychological trauma and all that or whatever that shit is… Or maybe I’ll just drop out. If I drop out then I can move out, right? Work and get enough money to leave the city… It is this wonderful thought that lulls me to sleep a few moments later…
~~~
(AUTHOR’S NOTE: I know this chapter is way too short compared to previous ones, but I am in trouble with this story now. I love it so much and I don’t wish to see it go inactive for so long, but unfortunately I cannot think of anything else to add without my partner’s story to accompany it. With Quax getting more involved than before now, I am not entirely certain on how he would react to things, and without knowing what would be happening in his personal life, I am at a loss as to how he is now. After finding out that my dear friend will be straying away from the creative world for now, I don’t know how I can continue writing this without his refreshing ideas. I am very sorry to all the readers but this story is now officially put on hold. *tries not to cry* HOWEVER if you like reading dramatic stories about two guys falling in love (well you must if you’re still reading this o.o) then you can check out my newest story titled Cracked Heart about a teenage ghost. I won’t give away more than that, but if you like my stories, check it out, I WILL NOT BE SILENCED… Have a good day.)
~Raven of Darkness Shadows