August

March 24: Friday

Having a substitute group leader sucked. Caddy flipped his pencil idly over in his hands and did his best to pretend to be listening. They were in the green room - the room they never used because it was dull and had no windows and was gray and green and only had desks and a chalkboard in it anyway. Adrian never made them take classes in the green room. And Adrian never made them do this kind of stuff. It was boring, it was time-consuming, and furthermore, they weren't ever even really going to use it. Caddy glared at the chalkboard, on which hundreds of white scribbles made a sort of crazy mosaic across the wall. Caddy hadn't really liked this stuff, even as a kid, and so when he'd changed and come here and Adrian had assured him they'd go easy on the math in carrier school, he'd actually felt a little relieved. And now they had this stupid substitute, who had a stupid haircut and stupid rules about what you could say and used stupid words like "indoctrination" and now was making them do stupid math. Caddy wanted Adrian back.

Beside him, Ashby had given up all pretense of attention - he was very calmly and very meticulously using a set of markers to paint his nails. Around the room, the kids were in various stages of ennui - some were gazing blankly at the board, one was trying not to fall asleep, two were reading other things (probably those vulgar comic books that Caddy hated because they made him feel uncomfortably damp), and the only others left were Caddy and Ashby.

Caddy leaned over to his classmate.
"This is such a waste of time. I wish we had Adrian back."
Ashby glanced at him and rolled his eyes.
"Whatever, Cadmus. Don't act like you're not into this."
Caddy was genuinely surprised.
"What? I'm not! I hate math!"
Ashby shrugged.
"Well, for hating it, you still manage to answer all his questions."
Caddy reddened.
"Well, I learned it before. My dad made me. Doesn't mean I liked it, though."
Ashby rolled his eyes again and picked up the purple marker.
"See, that proves my point. You're just like your dad - all this smart thinking stuff is just in your blood." Ashby examined one purple nail. "You can't fight it. You'll always be too smart for your own good."
Caddy felt and irrationally strong desire to slap all the markers off of Ashby's desk, and decided instead to ignore him. He was starting to think that being nice to some people was just a waste of time.

~:~

"Adrian!" Ren called out in exasperation. "Can you PLEASE put Matthew down and come here so we can work on this??"
Adrian stopped where he was, lifting his youngest brother, Matthew above his head for a helicopter ride. Ren came and stood in the doorway, his hair tied up in a silk scarf which hung down around his shoulders, and one hand on his hip.
It was early afternoon, and the Main House at Woodacre had just cleared out from lunchtime. The kids had been sent back to class or their mothers, the men and some of the carriers had returned to work, and Ren and the other carriers had just finished cleaning up and washing dishes. Adrian had been on dish duty; Ren had been sweeping.
But now, with the moment's work complete, they had a little free time, and Ren had decided that they needed to work on the wedding.
"You shouldn't be lifting him anyway; put him down."
Adrian did, hastily, feeling a little embarrassed. For one brief moment there, he'd completely forgotten. Matthew giggled and squeezed his arms around Adrian's leg, then shrieked and ran as fast as his short legs would carry him in pursuit of Kylie, one of the young, recently-changed carriers, who had been trying to quietly sneak past the room.
Ren seized the opportunity.
"Kylie! Sweetheart. Can you please take Matthew outside for a little while? I think June's got Neko and Darren out, and I think I see Tré out there, too. See if they want to play, why don't you?"
The young carrier, Kylie, hesitated, pausing where he was and glancing between the book in his hand and the small, squealing Matthew.
"Actually, I was just going to - "
"I'll tell your father how much you helped me out, and how you were absolutely on your best behavior. I bet he'll be delighted to hear how eager you were to learn some good carrier skills."
Kylie put the book down immediately on a nearby table.
"C'mere, Matty!" he called, holding his arms out for the small boy to scamper into them. Then, to Ren: "Is a couple of hours OK? I'm thinking Playground, then Tré's house."
Ren smiled.
"That's perfect. Come back if he gives you any trouble."
"Will do."
Ren saw them off, then turned to Adrian.
"Great. Now, you. Did you pick out any colors yet? We need to decide just how we're going to spend your father's money."
Adrian twiddled the end of the braid he'd put his hair into and grinned. Some days, he was really, really glad that Ren has his stepmother.

~:~

Caddy came home exactly ten minutes after Phidias had gotten out of the shower, dropped his bookbag on the floor, and slammed the door behind himself. Phidias, who was standing at the single cooktop in his robe, stirring a pot of tea, raised one eyebrow and looked at him.
"Had a nice day?"
Caddy glared daggers.
"No! I had an awful day."
"You're home pretty late."
Caddy crossed into the bedroom and located Phidias' bed, then threw himself across it.
"Yes! Because our stupid substitute made us stay late."
Phidias stopped the stirring and turned off the cooktop, setting the tea aside to cool.
"Why?"
"He took away our free time and made us learn math!" Caddy propped himself up so that his complaints could be more emphatic. "And it's freaking Friday! We were gonna do stuff! There was a movie on in the new movie room and he made us all miss it!"
Phidias made a strange face.
"Wait, he made you do extra math? Why? Were you behind?"
Caddy rolled his eyes. He should have known his dad was going to be like this.
"No, not extra math, regular math, and we're not behind - you don't HAVE to learn stuff like that in carrier school, you know."
Phidias shook his head in confusion.
"No, I don't know. You don't have to learn stuff like what?"
"Like...hard stuff. Physics and geometry and..."
"That's hard? You got an A in geometry last year! You said it was practically the easiest math there is."
"DAD! I'm not talking about geometry!!"
Phidias frowned.
"But you said - "
"I'M TALKING ABOUT STUFF LIKE GEOMETRY!" Caddy took a breath and calmed himself. "Stuff that's very technical. You don't have to do it in carrier school because it's impractical. And it takes time away from stuff you really have to learn, like health and childrearing. And Adrian never makes us do it, but Adrian's gone for the weekend, and so we have this guy from Thursday until Tuesday, when Adrian gets back, and he sucks."
Cadmus looked over at his father. Phidias' expression shifted from confusion to understanding to horror. Realization was slowly beginning to dawn on him. But that was impossible...he tried to think back - hadn't he seen Caddy carrying books? Working on projects? Writing papers? Studying stuff? Hadn't he? The memories seemed fuzzy now. Phidias peered worriedly at his son through the lens of his glasses.
"What have you been learning in school, Caddy?"
Caddy judged immediately that his father was not going to take his side. He shrugged and frowned down the bedcover.
"I don't know - regular stuff. Health and Social Studies and History and all that stuff."
"And what else?"
Cadmus got to his feet suddenly.
"What does it matter what else?! I learn stuff!"
Phidias ignored the outburst.
"What other subjects do you study?"
Caddy crossed his arms over his chest.
"Adrian is a good teacher."
"I'm sure he is. What does he teach you?"
"And I won't let you complain about him."
"I won't. I'll complain about the bullshit he's teaching you."
"See!" Cadmus threw his arms up. "This is exactly why I can't talk to you."
he pushed past his father on his way into his own room. "I have to get dressed. I'm supposed to be going out tonight."
Phidias' expression shifted again.
"Going out where? With who?"
From his bedroom, Caddy answered.
"To the game room. With my group. We're in a tournament tonight."
Phidias wrinkled his nose.
"Of what?"
"Pool! Dad! I told you this!"
Phidias stuck his head in the doorway of Cadmus' room.
"You know you have to use both geometry AND physics in order to play pool, right?"
Cadmus ignored him. Phidias exhaled and ran a hand across his face.
"I have two dates tonight."
Caddy turned and looked at him over his shoulder as he changed shirts.
"I know. Want some help?"
Phidias grinned wryly.
"You want to take one of them?"
Caddy rolled his eyes.
"I mean help with getting dressed. For the first, I think you should wear the green one with a gray shirt. And then later, wear the dark red one, and a white shirt."
Phidias raised an eyebrow.
"I thought you told me red made me look like easy."
Caddy grinned and shrugged.
"Well. Desperate times call for desperate measures, don't they?"
Phidias shook his head at his son's grim humor and went to go get dressed.
While he brushed his teeth at the sink, he scolded Cadmus.
"Anyway, be home when I get back. I don't want to have to come traipsing all over the Centre looking for you."
Cadmus looked up from where he was paging through a new magazine.
"What if you don't come back?"
Phidias paused, his stomach in his throat. He rinsed his mouth and recovered.
"Don't be clever, Caddy. Come home anyway."
There was a brief pause.
"And don't think we're done talking about the school thing, either."
Caddy rolled his eyes.
"OK. You should wear your hair down."
Phidias looked at himself in the mirror. He'd always kept his hair a little bit long - Emily had liked that - but since he'd been at the Centre, it had grown to what he felt was a ridiculous length. Wearing it down meant it came to his shoulders, and between that and the natori, it made him feel incredibly sexualized and incredibly vulnerable. He hated it. Cadmus was looking at him.
"I know you don't like it, but you have to. Otherwise, it doesn't look as nice."
Caddy wanted to add that a little mascara wouldn't kill him either, but he already knew what his dad's reaction would be to that, and so he left it alone. Phidias looked in the mirror for another minute, then reached back and pulled the elastic band out of his hair.

~:~

"So are you gonna come tonight, or what?" James was sitting at Sheridan's desk, the chair turned to face his friend. Sheridan shrugged.
"I dunno."
"You had a good time last time, right?"
Sheridan concentrated intently on getting the knots out of a long chain necklace.
"It was OK."
"So come."
Sheridan glanced up at James.
"I don't know."
There was silence for a moment.
"He won't hurt you, you know." Sheridan didn't answer. "Soyinka's nice, and he's really smart. He writes books, you know?"
Sheridan nodded.
"I know."
James licked his lips nervously.
"Sher, it's getting close - "
"I have more than a month left."
James glared and continued.
"Like I said, it's getting close - "
"AND IT WILL CONTINUE TO GET CLOSE, JAMES!"
Sheridan shouted, on his feet, his anger showing through every aspect of his stance, his body. James just stared at him. Sheridan stopped himself, took three deep breaths.
"I'm sorry. Sorry. I - "
"No." James was standing now, too. "No. Don't be sorry. Just tell me. Tell me why you want to keep doing this to yourself. Tell me why you want to keep doing this to me!"
Sheridan looked at his friend strangely, as if he couldn't comprehend what on earth his own problems had to do with James. James threw his arms up in exasperation.
"I love you, Sheridan! Don't you get that? You're my friend. I love you, I care about you, and I don't want you to get hurt. And yet, you're doing this - you're risking this...thing that you don't even..." James was panting with emotion, and he had to take a moment to catch his breath. When he was calm again, he looked up at Sheridan resolutely. "You have to pick. You have to do something. Flitting back and forth isn't going to cut it. And they know you're keen to choose someone now, so they're going to get even more aggressive. Every single one of them. You don't know any of them at all. This is a dangerous situation. You have to resolve it."
Sheridan stared at him and fingered the necklace in his handss.
"OK." he said, his voice small.
James shook his head.
"No, not 'OK.' I want answers. When? Who? Where?"
Sheridan had a weird look on his face, as if he were made uneasy, frightened by this new side of his friend's character. James had never yelled at him before. James had never been angry with him before. James had never been this way before.
"I - I don't know."
"Then come with us tonight."
Sheridan hesitated.
"But - "
"Please, Sher. Just try?"
Sheridan exhaled and looked up to meet James' eyes. It felt so strange, Sheridan reflected, sometimes, to have somebody care so much about him.
"OK." he said. "OK. Fine. I'll try."
James grinned in elation.
"Excellent. I'll call Harley and tell him you'll come tonight."

~:~

The first date seemed to go well enough. The guy was pretty tall and muscular, intimidating to Phidias at first, but he quickly proved himself to be a gentle giant as the night went on. They had a nice dinner, in a private room at the CEC, then went out for conversation and a walk through the gardens around sunset. Phidias was just beginning to really enjoy himself when the guy mentioned the fact that, should they make something serious of this, he felt that Caddy should stay behind at the CEC so that Phidias and he could focus on their marriage. Phidias checked him off the list immediately.


The second date was supposed to pick him up at 8. Phidias shifted his feet and squeezed his legs together for warmth. April had gotten so much colder these days. It was no time to be wearing such a thin natori. But Caddy had picked it out, and insisted that it was perfect, that it brought out his eyes...
Just then, Phidias had a brief moment of detachment, of removal - he was standing in the bedroom with Emily; her hands were on his shoulders, smoothing down his shirt, telling him the dinner would be fine, that they would be fine...his hands went to her stomach and she giggled and touched his shirt. "I'm glad I bought it for you." she smiled, and her face was so close to his, "It brings out your eyes." Phidias was there, he was there and he could see her, touch her, feel her warmth, smell her smell of apricots and warm honey...she was gone.

The moment ended, as abruptly as those little moments with her always did, and Phidias suddenly found he was himself again, a lonely carrier standing out by the gates in the night, freezing his ass off in a fucking natori, waiting for his date to come pick him up. Misery came over him like a wave. His throat hurt and he shivered in his jacket.

Where was this guy?

Phidias was just considering asking the chaperone to take him back inside when the sleek black car pulled around the corner and stopped. It was him.

~:~

Dr. Aaron Soyinka was, in fact, really nice; somehow, in the business of remaining unattached, Sheridan had managed to forget this. He was a big man - enormous, to Sheridan - at 6'3", he had six inches and what seemed like a hundred pounds on Sher. Born in the Niger Delta, raised by an adoptive father in the A.W.N.S., he had impeccable manners, a spectacular service record, and a charming accent that reckoned the green hills of England. As a new graduate of the Royal Academy, he had taken advantage of the Union's Military Exchange program, and now, at 35 years old, had been in the country for exactly seven years.

They went for dinner first, at a little restaurant that had recently opened in an old Victorian mansion-turned-bed&breakfast. The home itself was beautiful, and Sheridan spent a blissful half hour before dinner just exploring the old-fashioned nooks and crannies and cooing over the architectural oddities. Soyinka followed behind like an oversized pup, letting Sheridan drag him around by his hand, their chaperone trailing them, a lopsided grin lighting up his face.

At one point, Sheridan's wanderings led them into an old maid's closet turned art gallery, and they lingered in there a minute, slowly browsing the photographs and watercolors. When Sheridan went to leave, Soyinka pressed him back against the wall next to the door and kissed him, leaning down to cover the six inches that separated them. Sheridan pulled back first, touching the back of his hand to his mouth. Soyinka tried to kiss him again, but was stopped with a hand to his chest.
"Don't..." Sheridan glanced towards the door, the hand on Soyinka's chest still keeping him away. "I don't, um..."
Soyinka pressed forward and kissed him again anyway, and Sheridan panicked and resisted. Soyinka released his mouth, but kept him pressed against the wall with his body. Sheridan touched his mouth again, and Soyinka saw that his hand was trembling. He stroked Sheridan's hair with one hand.
"Hush. I don't want you to be afraid of me."
Sher looked like he was near tears.
"Well, then, don't do that. Don't push me around like that, please, Aaron. I really don't like it."
Soyinka nodded.
"OK. OK. I'm sorry. Here." he moved back a few inches - not enough to let Sheridan run, but enough to give him his own space. Sheridan took in a series of small breaths to try and calm down. Soyinka watched him. After a while, he spoke.
"It must be very frightening to be in your position. I am sorry that I forgot that. It was not my intention to make you fear me."
Sheridan didn't look at him, but a curt nod acknowledged the apology.
"Is dinner ready yet?" he asked, still not looking at Soyinka. The big man nodded.
"Most likely. Shall we go and find out?"
Soyinka led him back to the dining room.

~:~

Henrik Angstrom was, Phidias decided, a particularly handsome man. In fact, he was exactly the sort of handsome that Phidias had always been slightly intimidated by, even before he'd changed. He was the refined kind of handsome, the timeless attractiveness - there was nothing flashy or temporal about Henrik's good looks. He had the classic square jaw, dark, thoughtful eyes that made him seem powerful and mysterious, smooth cheekbones and a straight forehead, all centered on a slightly Roman nose that lent a good deal of nobility to his countenance. His hair, dark and greying evenly, gave dignity and wisdom to his face.

His body was particularly attractive; Henrik was well-kept for a man of almost 50, but not overly so; at 6'1", his body bore gracefully some of the gravity of age. Phidias figured him for perhaps a swimmer - his gait was easy and careful, and he always appeared to be gliding. Beside him, Phidias felt clumsy and insignificant. But Henrik didn't seem to mind. In fact, the date had gone particularly well thus far. Henrik, after profuse apologies for his lateness, had taken him first to dinner at one of the portside restaurants, usually unavailable to anyone but the highest ranking officers, and then afterwards had suggested they attend one of the evening lectures that were held as a part of a series in the on-base research center. The lectures were nearly impossible for carriers to get tickets to, let alone be granted subsequent passes to attend, and that night's lecture, Henrik had informed him, might be of particular interest to Phidias. It was on the cultural record created from a recent study of a Bronze Age archaeological site. If Phidias wanted, Henrik had offered, they could stop past the CEC and see if Cadmus would like to go as well. Phidias felt like he'd fallen in love right then and there.

In the end, they had left Caddy out, but the lecture was fantastic, and afterwards, decided to spend a few hours discussing everything over coffee. Phidias told Henrik all about his old work (he still wasn't sure whether or not he was allowed to talk about this stuff, but Henrik promised he'd keep it a secret) and what he'd wanted to do in the future with it, and how he'd come to arrive at the CEC, and how it had affected his relationship with Caddy, and how much he missed his wife Emily, and exactly how he'd managed to avoid the military, and how many dates he'd been on and how they'd all gone wrong.

Henrik, in exchange, told Phidias a bit about himself. He was 51, raised in the Union by parents who had come from Nordia - Sweden, to be exact. He had one son, 21 years old, named Anders, and had never been married. He loved any and all things chocolate, and in order to maintain his sweet habit, he swam four times a week in his private swimming pool. Phidias had given him a curious look at this statement, and Henrik had smiled and said that he'd made his money through private industry. This intrigued Phidias even more, and so Henrik explained how he'd never gone military; had instead gotten a degree in chemistry and gone on to establish a production laboratory on the outskirts of the city. Phidias asked him what kind of chemicals he produced. Henrik had answered vaguely, clearly not ready to talk about it, and Phidias had marked it, but let that pass.

After they'd run out of coffee, Henrik asked Phidias if he'd like to perhaps go for a drive somewhere. Phidias asked him where, and Henrik grinned and replied,
"I have a small library in my home. If you are not too fatigued, perhaps I could show it to you tonight."
This made Phidias blush and stammer and Henrik immediately realized his mistake.
"No, no. Phidias, I didn't mean to create a situation. Your chaperone is perfectly welcome to attend. I just thought maybe at my home, we could more openly discuss things. I ask nothing of you tonight. Nothing at all. But why don't you just come and see the place?"

~:~

At their table, their food was waiting for them. James and Harley had already been served; four plates sat on the table, and Harley had his blue suit jacket slung across the back of his chair; his sleeves were rolled up to the elbow. A new signet ring glistened on his right hand. There were three empty glasses, and a bottle of wine cooling by the table, on Harley's side. James just drank water. James and Harley both looked up at Soyinka and Sheridan's approach.
"Welcome back. Dinner's on." Harley grinned.
Sheridan tried to act normal, but being around Harley made him nervous as it was, and between that and his slight embarrassment about what had happened with Soyinka, he found it difficult not to be a little jumpy. Luckily, Soyinka covered for him, pulling out his chair and offering him a napkin for his lap, then offering and pouring the wine, all of this serving to give Sheridan a minute to get himself together.
Harley was the first to speak.
"Did you enjoy your walk, Sheridan?"
He spoke without malice, although he did cast one meaningful glance over to Soyinka, who ignored it. Sheridan picked up his fork and answered quietly.
"It was nice."
Harley nodded.
"I trust Soyinka entertained you?"
Sheridan stiffened a little.
"He did."
Soyinka cast an irritated glare at Harley, who didn't seem to notice and calmly took a bite of his steak. James looked anxiously between the two of them, and Harley reached over and gently covered James' hand with his own.
"Eat, sweetheart. Are you not hungry?"
James shrugged and picked up his fork, picking listlessly at his meal. Harley furrowed his brow in concern. "Do you not like it? Want something else?"
James shook his head.
"No, it's fine. I'm just not all that hungry."
James gave his fiancé a faltering smile.
"I had a really big lunch."
Sheridan cocked his head. That seemed odd. James almost never ate a big lunch. He took the first bite of his salmon. Fuck, it was delicious. Immediately, he was transported into a world of tasty bliss. Oh, man - he hadn't had a meal this good since he'd been admitted to the CEC. Sheridan closed his eyes briefly, shutting out everything but his sense of taste. After a moment, he opened his eyes to find Soyinka watching him with not a little amusement.
"I suppose I don't need to ask if you like it."
Sheridan grinned shyly and reached for a drink of wine.
"Sorry, it's just...really good."
Soyinka tilted his head and smiled broadly at Sheridan.
"Don't be sorry. I'm delighted that you are enjoying yourself."
Sheridan nodded and went back to his food.
Harley cleared his throat.
"So we owe the quality of the wine tonight to a bit of a celebration."
Soyinka looked up.
"Oh?"
Harley beamed at the table.
"I got the nomination for the Legal Advisor position."
James jerked his head up.
"You serious?!"
"Yes! I got the letter this morning."
"Oh, that's fantastic, Harl."
James leaned forward and kissed his fiancé. Sheridan's distaste for the idea of giving Harley any more power flickered across his face just long enough for James to catch it, and kick him under the table. Soyinka smiled broadly and stood to shake his friend's hand.
"Oi! Congratulations, man. Really, you deserve it."
Harley grinned at James and put one hand on his fiancée's stomach.
"And it's just in time, right?"
James grinned at him, and Sheridan rolled his eyes and tucked back into his meal.

~:~

Sean arrived at Woodacre late that night. Released from duty for the weekend, he was eager to get back to their home and see his soon-to-be bride. He hesitated in the center court, unsure whether to go first to his own home or Adrian's. In the end, he decided that protocol was best followed, and went to inform his own parents of his arrival. His brothers were already asleep when he arrived, and he had the splendid misfortune of hearing his parents distinctly not-asleep as he came up the stairs. He dropped his duffel bag loudly on the floor, and after what sounded like a scuffle and some swearing, his father appeared in a pair of loose pants in the hallway. He scowled at his oldest son.
"Dang it, Sean, don't you have a wife of your own to go disturb in the middle of the night?"
Sean grinned.
"I'm home for the weekend. Wanted to check in here first."
Ian Wick regarded his son for a moment.
"Hm. Well, your room's open for you. Go see Adrian. Kiss him, kiss his mother, apologize again to his father. I expect you home in an hour."
Sean raised an eyebrow.
"Why? I can't get him any more pregnant than he already is."
Commander Ian Wick narrowed his eyes.
"You talking smart to me, Sean?"
Sean shook his head and backed down.
"No, sir."
Clearly, his dad could be pretty irritable when he'd been disturbed from his marital bed. Ian Wick grunted, turned, and disappeared back into his room, locking the door behind himself.
Sean dropped his bag off in his room, and went to go find Adrian.

~:~

As the evening wore on, the dining room slowly began to empty of the few other patrons it had. Sheridan checked his watch - it was late already, almost eleven. He wondered what the conversation was on about now; he'd mostly tuned out, but picked up a few interesting words here and there, and decided to listen. He turned his attention to the conversation; Harley was speaking.
"Absolutely not. No way. It's too dangerous - not my kid, no."
"You'd deny your son the opportunity for an education?"
Soyinka's voice wasn't condemning; merely curious.
"I want to protect my children at any cost. The world is still a dangerous place for a carrier, educated or not, to be going off in alone. And I know they say the universities they have for them are safe, but look at the Caterina - there were seventeen rapes there last summer. No. Sorry. My carrier son stays at home."
"And if he refuses?"
Soyinka pressed. James looked at Harley curiously. Harley shrugged.
"Then I'll have him married off within the month and he can let his husband decide."
Soyinka accepted this, and sat back in his seat. Sheridan didn't.
"That's sick and unfair." James shot a wide-eyed look of warning at his friend. Sheridan ignored it. "You're his dad; you should care about him, body and mind. He's not just a thing to be safeguarded; you should do your best to make him a good person, to help him grow."
Soyinka reached out and put a quelling hand on Sheridan's wrist. Sheridan shook him off.
"You shouldn't try to lock him up in a tower, keep him away from the world. Nobody can live like that. Nobody can grow. And besides, you can't protect him from all the dangers of the world. That's just impossible. You have to accept at some point that he's his own person, he's not yours to own!"
Harley's expression had turned cold.
"And should I send him off to wander the streets alone, then, in order to learn about the world? Should I send him to war? Should I knowingly and intentionally put my son in harm's way so that he can gain..." Harley's face contorted as he pronounced the disgusting word, "Experiences?"
Sheridan shook his head.
"That's fallacious and you know it. Going to university is not the same as getting dropped off in a war zone; it's nowhere near as dangerous."
Harley frowned.
"So exactly what threshold of danger are you willing to tolerate for your own child, Sheridan? How far are you willing to let him go for the sake of our good friend, Knowledge?"
Sheridan glanced around the table. Soyinka was listening to him curiously. James was trying to disappear. Harley looked mad, but Sher had seen him madder and knew this was just the beginning of irritation; for now, Harley still felt sure he was in control.
"I - I don't know. But I know I want to go to school. I got to go to school, and I want my sons - all my sons - to do the same."
Harley calmly finished his wine.
"You, luckily, did not grow up in the world our children have been condemned to. We cannot live the way we used to. We must make adjustments accordingly. We must form a new behavioral paradigm."
On the last words, he looked over at James, who was focused intently on his lap and still hadn't eaten. Harley frowned in worry.
"Babe. You sure you're OK?"
James nodded.
"I just - maybe, um, I'm a little tired?"
Harley nodded sympathetically.
"OK. Let's get you out of here and up to your room." James began to get to his feet, and Soyinka followed suit. Sheridan got up, too.
"Oh. You guys are staying here tonight? I didn't realize. Well, thanks for dinner. I guess I'll get the chaperone to call a car and take me back, and I'll see you tomorrow, James?" he looked for accordance from James, who was busy gathering his things and would not meet his eyes, then at Harley, who was smiling vaguely at him, then at Soyinka, who also would not meet his eyes. Nobody answered him. Sheridan knew immediately.
"Oh, shit." he glanced back at the corner where the chaperones had posted when they'd come in to eat. The chaperones were gone. "Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit."
Soyinka was standing in front of him now, holding his hands up as if to ward off any potential accusations. Harley and James stood calmly on the other side of the table. Behind them, the chaperones appeared, blocking the exit to the room. Wild thoughts raced through Sheridan's mind. Why weren't they acting? Why weren't they helping him?
"Sheridan. It's OK. Nobody's here to hurt you." Harley's voice was soothing.
Sheridan shook his head and backed away from them. There was nobody else in the dining room.
"No. No..."
"Sheridan." Soyinka was standing by the table now, his hands at his sides and his expression sad. "Please don't be afraid of me, darling. I don't want to hurt you."
Sheridan shook his head more furiously and couldn't look at Soyinka, couldn't look at the man who was going to...
James stepped forward.
"Sheridan. Buddy. It's OK. Let's just go upstairs. You don't have to make a scene."
"Nobody wants to hurt you, Sheridan." Harley offered. He was careful not to add, 'but we will.'
"Come on, Sher." James tried to soothe again. "Let's just go upstairs."
"No, I - I - James. I - " Sheridan couldn't seem to get his mind to focus, to alight on any single thing. All he could think was that James loved him, so how could he do this? And how trapped he was, and why weren't the chaperones helping, and how Soyinka was just so damn big, and how maybe this was for the best anyway, and he should just give up now, and then his last, ironic thought was that the salmon hadn't been that damn good, anyway.
Soyinka was still carefully watching him; no one in the room had moved yet. They seemed interested in what he would do - what path he would choose of his own volition. Sheridan fidgeted with his shirt and tried to think of a plan. He latched onto his only possible one.
"Why - what about the chaperones? They'll report you."
Soyinka exchanged a look with Harley and James.
"No, actually, they'll report you, Sher."
Sheridan blinked at James uncomprehendingly.
"They're not here to protect you. They're here to make sure everything goes through tonight." James swallowed and lifted his chin. "I proposed this to the CEC six weeks ago. The director approved their use for this purpose."
Sheridan had never thought betrayal could cut so deeply. James still kept his chin up, but he looked upset, almost tearful.
"I just wanted to help you, Sheridan. I didn't - I didn't want to see you get hurt."
Harley nodded.
"See, Sheridan? James loves you. He wants to help you. I want to help you. Soyinka, too. There are three people here who love you and want you to be happy. You're in a safe place. You're not going to get hurt. So why don't you come over here and let Soyinka take you upstairs to your room?"
Sheridan swallowed. He looked first to James, then to Soyinka, then finally, to Harley. Every one of them waited. Sheridan squeezed his hands into fists, then released them and smoothed his natori out on the sides.
Then he stepped forward and reached out for James' hand.

~:~

Henrik's house was absolutely spectacular. Phidias tried not to be gauche, but he couldn't help but gawk at the rooms as he passed. Besides the size of the place - it felt as big as half the CEC - there were the artifacts. Vases, paintings, wall hangings, rugs, musical instruments and ceremonial masks all decorated every room of Henrik's house. Led by the hand, Phidias followed the man through the winding halls of his house and through a set of double doors into what Phidias could only guess Henrik had been describing as his "small library." The place was huge. Phidias wanted to cry. Henrik led him to a cluster of plush red chairs that were scattered around a coffee table on one side of the room. They sat.
"Now," Henrik said, stretching and then settling into a comfortable position in the chairs, "We get down to business."
From the drawer of the coffee table, he withdrew a few blank sheets of paper and a pen. He began scribbling furiously on the paper. After several long minutes, during which Phidias occupied himself with gawking at the quality and number of the books around him, Henrik stopped writing and folded the paper up.
"Phidias, I like you. I really like you. I think you are clever; I think you are handsome. I want to spend more time with you. I want to talk to you. I want to make love to you." Phidias felt a little self-conscious at the explicit praise; his heartbeat picked up. Henrik looked evenly into his eyes.
"But those are the elements of a romance. A marriage is not a romance, and its happiness does not depend on those things."
Phidias regarded his date with straightforward interest now. It was rare to hear such frank openness from anyone.
"Phidias, I am a businessman, and a scientist. For marriage, I will make use of both those sets of skills." he pushed the piece of paper forward.
"These are the things I expect from a marriage. Beneath those are the things I will not allow. After that, a list of other things I am prepared to offer you."
Phidias' eyes shot down to the folded paper in front of him.
"Read the list. Consider it. I don't want an answer tonight; not even in this week."
Phidias picked up the paper and turned it over in his hands.
"I will see you next Saturday; if you are prepared then, we can discuss this."
Phidias jerked his eyes up to Henrik's.
"Next Saturday?"
he'd tried to keep his voice simply inquisitive, but he must have been more obvious than he'd thought, because Henrik threw his head back and laughed, folding his fingers together.
"Ah, you must see me sooner? Perhaps I can find time for lunch on Wednesday as well."
Phidias shrugged carelessly, feeling a little humiliated by Henrik's laughter.
"No, next Saturday is fine."
Henrik looked a little sorry himself; clearly he'd set off Phidias' indignation. He should have known. Ah, well, he comforted himself, next time.
Phidias glanced at the clock suddenly; it was after midnight. He wondered if Caddy was home.
"I have to, um - "
"Cadmus. Of course. He should be home in bed by now, but you never know with kids. Always have to check. I'll have my driver take you and your chaperone back. You'll be home soon."
Henrik got to his feet and Phidias followed him, squeezing the piece of paper tight in his hand.
At the door of his home, Henrik kissed Phidias once on the cheek to send him off.
"Until Wednesday." he promised, then smiled that disarmingly handsome smile at Phidias. As Phidias got into the car, he had a strange feeling that, for the first time, everything was really going to be OK.

~:~

Sheridan sat, unblinking, staring at his reflection in the mirror of the rented room's vanity. James sat on the bench behind him, brushing his hair.
"See? You're going to look so pretty, Sher."
Sheridan looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red from where he'd been crying; his hair had been mussed and his lip was split from where he'd struggled against Harley, who had caught him as he'd tried to bolt back down the steps.

Afterwards, he and James had been locked into the rented room, James being given the assignment of making Sheridan presentable. Soyinka and Harley had disappeared.

James set down the brush and turned his attention to the wide, four poster bed. Restraints dangled from each corner, and James quietly loosened, then removed them, tucking them away in the bedside drawers. Sheridan watched him in the mirror and wondered just what the hell kind of bed and breakfast this was. James then undid the tucked covers, folding the blanket down just enough to look inviting, and then spritzing the linens with some kind of spray.
"Mint." he said sheepishly, in response to Sheridan's incredulous look.
"It smells nice, you know."
James came back over to the vanity, and dragged Sheridan's stool around so that his friend faced him. Sheridan had been stripped when they'd first entered the room; now, he was wearing just his natori, with nothing underneath.
"Now, listen - Soyinka's going to be really careful with you, but it still might hurt some. You know that, right?"
Sheridan blinked at him and didn't speak. James opened a jar of lotion and began rubbing it into Sheridan's skin, starting with his arm. Sheridan submitted limply, like a doll. James kept talking.
"But Soyinka really cares about you, and he's going to try to make it good."
Sheridan shivered a little, and stared blankly at his friend.
"How much?"
James blinked. It was the first time Sheridan had spoken to him since they'd been in the room.
"How much what?"
Sheridan looked up at him.
"How much will it hurt?"
James gave him a reassuring smile.
"No worse than ripping a bandage off. You'll be fine."
Sheridan retreated into silence again. James went on with the lotion, rubbing it first into one arm, then the other, then doing Sheridan's back and chest, then legs. He stopped short of lifting his friend's natori, then suddenly seemed to get an idea. He reached over into the bag he'd dropped by the vanity.
"Here. I have some lube. When you get started, use a little bit of this. It might make it easier, especially if you can't get into it right now."
Sheridan stared at the jar for a minute, then took it from James. Without looking at him, he said,
"Thank you."
James smiled in satisfaction, then hugged Sheridan.
"Anytime."
James got up to leave, but Sheridan stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"I knew." he said, suddenly. "I knew."
James frowned.
"You knew?"
"I knew. The minute you got pregnant...I knew you would do this to me."
James gave Sheridan a sympathetic look.
"Hush now. It's OK, Sher. Things will be alright in the morning. You'll be happy. You'll see."

~:~

It didn't feel like a bandage coming off. It felt like a knife going in, and Sheridan had to bite his lip hard to keep from crying out. Aaron was big in every way, and even with the added lubrication, and the prior stimulation of Aaron's fingers, it still felt extremely tight. Aaron was on top of him, his weight lifted off of Sheridan just slightly.
"Hush, darling. I know. Are you alright?"
Sheridan blinked tears out of his eyes and wanted to say that no, he was not alright - nothing was alright or would ever be alright again. Soyinka kissed the side of his head.
"I'm sorry, Sheridan. I'm so sorry. But things will be alright."
Sheridan just whimpered.
"Can I move now? Are you OK for that?"
Sheridan hesitated, but decided it was best gotten over with, and so nodded to urge him on. Aaron shifted so that his cock thrust deeper inside of Sheridan, and the carrier squeezed his mate's shoulder and cried out.
"Oh, please!"
Aaron dropped his head down to rest in the crook of Sheridan's neck.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, love, but we really have to do this."
Sheridan's eyes were brimming with tears now, but he nodded.
"I know. I know. Just fuck me. Can you just fuck me and be done with it?"
Soyinka agreed.
"OK. OK. I can."
he kissed the side of Sheridan's head again, then closed his eyes and began to thrust, finding his rhythm quickly. He limited himself, held back and didn't give Sheridan his full depth; perhaps that would be for another time, when his prize wasn't frightened and angry and still in pain from the breaching. After a few minutes of shallow thrusts, Soyinka started to speed up, and Sheridan welcomed the indication that the man was almost done. Within a half a minute, Aaron's back was tensing up, and Sheridan felt his hips jerk painfully inside of him. The big man groaned out his orgasm, spurting hot liquid into Sheridan's sore passageway, but providing enough additional slickness to finally make the penetration bearable. Slowly, Aaron pulled out, his cock extracting with a wet sound and a hiss of sensitivity from both of them. Sheridan pulled away immediately, scooting to the farthest side of the bed. Aaron shook the stars out of his eyes, sat up, and reached out to put a hand on Sheridan's hip. The younger man was shaking. Disheartened, Aaron got up and went to the door, then knocked three times. After a minute, the door cracked open. A figure entered, and approached the bed, with Soyinka close behind him.
Sheridan jerked backwards in fear as the shadow came close to him.
"It's OK, darling. This is just the doctor. He...he needs to confirm. Can you let him look at you?"
Sheridan felt the fear be replaced by the sting of humiliation. But there was nothing for it now; what was done was done. He laid back on the bed and opened his legs.